You’re a bum you’re a punk you’re an old slut on junk

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”
Dean Martin

Again, I’m not sure what to say. I’m glad that the salt and vinegar might have put a bit of a lining on at least one stomach. I’m more of a barbeque flavour man myself. What is that barbeque flavour? It’s the taste of taste itself. This is what the comedian’s green room bin will be like about 30 minutes before the comedy debate starts at the Charles tonight. Apart from the Kahlua.

Are there going to be no Worst of Perthers there? Weak pricks. that’s all I can say.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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20 Responses to You’re a bum you’re a punk you’re an old slut on junk

  1. Tony T says:

    Apart from the Kahlua? Hmmm. That Kahlua bottle is very neatly placed on the top of the rubbish, in the centre of your photo. I think you swapped trash with the nearest bogan pub because your Comedy bin was ALL Kahlua. You just but kept one Kahlua bottle to try and trick us.

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  2. David Cohen says:

    Some of the bottles aren’t empty. Outrage. Would never have happened in my day. Especially if it was Rare Old Mountain Dew…

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  3. Rolly says:

    Yeah, DC, indeed an outrage.
    In my day, which was a long time before your day, we prided ourselves in our ability to develop tongues that could reach into the furthest reaches of the three corners of a “Standfast” bottle.
    The girls weren’t too keen on the process, but Boy! how they enjoyed the result.

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  4. Mazarina says:

    Is it just a plain old outrage, or a ‘fucking outrage’? I’d vote for the latter.

    LA – you’re comment re TWOP readers cut to the bone.

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  5. Jay says:

    Hi LA, long time reader, first time contributer. Ah so naff! Anyway I will be there tonight at the debate along with mates, looking forward to seeing you in real life.

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  6. Rolly says:

    Maz, I can’t remember any of the girls being outraged. Fucked, maybe.
    And occasionally ‘outed’, but that’s a typically girly thing, and one that did us guys no end of good.
    Re. the TWOP readers non attendance, it cuts more to the core; vis. a comedian whose principle audience (blog readers) are funnier than he is!
    Yah! Sucks!

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  7. At least SOMEONE could get it together to buy tickets Jay. The worst excuse I heard was that a TWOP reader rang up to reserve tickets but you needed a credit card, and since they didn’t believe in credit cards, they’re not going. Ai Ya!

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  8. David Cohen says:

    Outrageous LA! No wonder you slagged them off on the wireless.

    Has anyone tried that McK bourbon/cola stuff? Is it any good?

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  9. cimbali says:

    LA have a good time tonight. I know some of us should have been there just to check how much of your stuff was filched from TWOP contributors but hey… it’s a school night. I hope Jay enjoys himself and doesn’t find all his hopes and dreams dashed by seeing you in the flesh.
    Break something.

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  10. I’m ripping off the whole lot. Every single suggestion. With my… timing, I will be able to turn that dross into Gold. GOLD I TELL’s YA!

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  11. Rolly says:

    Would that be SWAN gold?

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  12. Midlandia says:

    I will only say this, LA: I love “Fairytale of New York,” and in turn, love you for referencing it. <3

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  13. Bento says:

    LA – If you will recall, I set up my alibi at least a few weeks ago. I’m currently monitoring goings-on in Perth-worstness from sultry Savannah, GA.

    Hope it all went swimmingly. And there’s no shame in borrowing material. If it weren’t for The Simpsons and Seinfeld, I’d have run out of things to say years ago.

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  14. Hughie says:

    DC, McKenna premix is no better and no worse than the other bourbons of 5-6% alcohol; IIRC it’s a bit like the Jack Daniels premix, which I find too sweet. In other words, you’d drink it but not if there was something better. Jim Beam Black and Wild Turkey cans still win the contest for me – not least cos you can actually taste alcohol in them.

    The bin shot is typical of the shared house I lived in a coupla years ago. Looked like that by the end of the first weekend after the recycling rubbish collection; boxes and bottles were packed up around (for deposit in neighbours’ bins under darkness) by the time the next collection was due. Never, however, did one see empty bottles of LIGHT beer! (Pic 2, RHS)

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  15. Rage says:

    Hugh Thompson, is that you?

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  16. Hughie says:

    ‘Fraid not, Rage. Does Mr Thompson also have a liking for premixed bourbon drinks?

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  17. jono says:

    they are the bins from the deen right?? i used to empty those f**kers. i used to love gettin bin juice all over me at the end of a great night serving drunk aggresive wannabees for 10 bucks an hour. gold

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  18. Rage says:

    He really, really does. Your entire spiel reminded me of something he might say.

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  19. Hughie says:

    Is he rather good-looking and not bad on the guitar too…? ;)

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  20. #17. UB right on j.
    Actually no, I think it was The Bog (If it’s still called that). I was prowling the streets behind there.

    Like

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