Cheater feature

Posted on August 26, 2009 by AHC McDonald

And they took turns at Becky, while sittin’ at the table,

there’ll be time enough for gamblin’ when ole Becky’s done…  Kenny Rogers, The Gambler and Coward of The County en mashed.

Outrage Cohen reminded me of the worst that is the quiz night. My favourite was in the 1970’s for I think Swan District Colts, where spot prizes were vouchers to Happy Haven knock shop down the road. But things have turned even worse for quiz nighters now as every bastard is pretending to use the bog, but really are phoning a friend, a friend called Wikipedia. Some even blatantly cheat at the table like this. Just calling the babysitter my arse. Disgraceful.

augcheaters

Posted in Uncatetorisable worsts | 77 Comments

One Cook, One Reich, One People

Posted on August 25, 2009 by AHC McDonald

I was sent a wonderful original worst from Vic Demised the other day of a genuine foil hat wearer who also had foil in his ears, but felt that might be a little intrusive on the poor crazy bastard. The foil wearer, not Vic. Shame. Was very tempted. Instead here’s another excellent worst from DJ Snuff who shunned Perth as a holiday destination from Japan and went to Queensland. Here’s the big Nazi aka the Big Captain Cook in Cairns. There might well be tinfoil under Cook’s hat anyway. I know he kept his sextant in a lead lined box so the Hawaiians couldn’t see where he was going.  Thanks Snuff.

augcook

Posted in worst art, worst public art | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

Delusions of Mediocrity

Posted on August 24, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Seen by Bento in the Subiaco Council foyer. It is the perfect worst combination of grandeur and cringing embarrasment. Jeezus Subi, how about Bunbury, Geraldton, Wagin, Subiaco, Corrigin? That’s a fight you may be able to win  IF you can lure the tractor pull festival away from Corrigin. The idea that framing this seemed like a good ideato someone is brilliant. Is it a trick of the light Bento or is the text crooked too?

londonparis

Posted in worst art, worst sign | Tagged , | 27 Comments

A House is not a home…

Posted on August 23, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Still boasting about West article. The best part was being next to Tony Sadler ad. Have spent the morning changing my passport occupation information from “Raconteur” to “Writer”. Have been a bit more active on Twitter lately, so I have included some of the highlights of last week.

article2Dingos to run. The WA Greyhound Association has confirmed that dingo racing will be trialled at Cannington on ANZAC day. The 1080 Cup run as…
Mishaps hits Dockers. Players mistakenly placed in a cryogenic chamber instead of a hyperbaric chamber are unlikely to be fully thawed befor…
Worsfold claims prawns just “Sea Cockroaches”. The WA seafood association was reeling after Eagles coach John Worsfold made a baffling attack…
Basil Zempilas “not Greek”. Documents showing Basil’s grandfather changed the name from Johnson in the 20s have devastated the TV & radio s…
“Still room for pisstanks” Stephen Brook of UK Guardian reassures Perth hacks at future of Journalism conference. “Soaks have always…

Posted in Best of banned by The West | 9 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 69

Posted on August 22, 2009 by AHC McDonald

I think I should have a piece in The West today, but haven’t got the paper yet. I usually wait for the free version at work on Monday, but might have to make an exception this time. Tell me what you think. Hopefully I’ll get letters from Paul Murray, Pam (I’m still here dearies) Cassselllas, Michele Philips and Zoltan Kovacs  congratulating me on my work.

Was at the future of journalism conference last night. It really was journos vs bloggers. Here’s Tama Leaver, William Bowe & Tim Burrowes versus the journos gathered round the beer and pizza. You can see Outrage Cohen spiking the pizzas on the left. (Sorry about the quality, but sometimes journos and bloggers benefit from blurry pics). An exception was Karina Carvalho who was smouldering seductively at the door. Unfortunately she didn’t have her Michael Jackson Jacket on.

It was quite interesting. Lots of stuff about how good journalism is going to be paid for. Helping the bottom line will be a reluctance to pay a member of the public anything for submitting breaking news photos. Perhaps there needs to be a citizen journo agent who will get them their just desserts? “To each according to their needs” Cohen might be a candidate.

Liam Phillips from WAtoday bore an uncanny resemblance to Warwick Fairfax. Scary. ABC’s kim Jordan came across as a bit of a wanker. Well a lot of a wanker actually. His Twitter denialism was also very, very funny. This was about the future of journalism right Kim? The most amusing moment was when people were told to turn their mobile phones off. Err, future guys. Anyone who did is not going to be part of the future.

week69bloggersweek69journos

Outrage Cohen, who was spruiking Communism or suchlike for the union last night, sent in this link for winking pants. I’d go blue eyes I think.

I saw this car sticker which reads “My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter.”Is that Mr Rosemeyer in Yokine? I thought he was a cabinet maker?

week69jewish

Worst well everyone. Time to start sending in letters complaining about my article today.

Posted in weekend worstoff | Tagged | 25 Comments

Future of Journalism & Live Show Booking

Posted on August 21, 2009 by AHC McDonald

For those who want to book for the Worst of Perth live on September the 3rd, here’s how. John McCallister of The Comedy Lounge at the Charles Hotel says…

They can book tickets at BOCS 9484 1133
To actually book a specific table they can call John
9309 1139 or email. comedy lounge  funny@comedylounge.com.au

————————————————————————–

I am attending the Future of Journalism do on tonight at ABC East Perth.

Thought the toilet/newspaper graphic nice for this post too.  I hear it’s free piss. May tweet anything interesting or make stuff up if there’s not anything of TWOP standard.

Follow theworstofperth on twitter or you will also catch it in the sidebar. Tim from Mumbrella and William Bowe from Polbludger will be speaking, and Outrage Cohen is aparently door bitch for the night so should be good.

toilet


Posted in worst of perth | 16 Comments

Sittin on the bog of the bay

Posted on August 21, 2009 by AHC McDonald

Dave saw this at Joondalup Medicare. Could be one of those benches which make a fart sound when you lower the backside? That sign should have been on this.

takecare

And a more sitting friendly invitation from Turf. Can’t tell what paper he’s reading. Not The Post, not The West. Is it that free business paper they give out around West Perth? Is it The Quokka?

toilet

Posted in worst sign | Tagged | 7 Comments

Ramblin’ Man

Posted on August 20, 2009 by AHC McDonald

…and when it comes to leaving, I hope you’ll understand, I was born a ramblin man… Allman Brothers

I can understand leaving a saxophone out on the verge (jesus those fuckers are loud) but a guitar? I choose to believe it’s a tribute connected to the passing of Les Paul.

South Perth

guitar

Posted in worst music | Tagged | 25 Comments

Shades over Innsmouth

Posted on August 19, 2009 by AHC McDonald

“Far are the shades of Arabia, / Where the Princes ride at noon.”
Walter de La Mare

or perhaps

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah-nagl fhtaga.
–H.P.Lovecraft, “The Shadow over Innsmouth”

I struggled with the quotes for this post because I don’t understand the what and the where. The how I could take a guess at, but..? What do they do? Why are they modelled by Cthulhu himself? Do they take a video feed from your undies? What fuck happening. Having said that, I do want a pair.

sunglsungl2

Posted in worst fashion | Tagged , , | 31 Comments

Digger rooting crack smoker

Posted on August 18, 2009 by AHC McDonald

From Hugh Jass in Bunbury. Apparently there’s some anti Michael Daley sentiment in town. OK so he smokes crack. What Bunbury resident wouldn’t just to get through the day until it’s time to hit River Rooster? But rooting a digger? Having intercourse with one of the brave men and or women that protect the free speech of Bunbarians everywhere? A step too far. Skaley Chin is painted on the other side of the sign.

And I was also disturbed by “Online Childcare” and Groper Grocer. This is actually in Eaton near Bunbury. When younger I was working up a joke that suggested Azaria Chamberlain should have been enrolled in Eaton Primary when it looked like a dingo had scoffed her, then Lindy was jailed for it. By the time she was released, it wasn’t worth telling.

eaton2eaton

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , | 11 Comments