Your little Aimée is wagging her tail in heaven tonight, thinking of you. …
Evelyn Waugh – The Loved One
Speaking of dumbarse new Perth suburb names, WAtching revisted an established dumbarse name suburb, which has a new slogan to get the punters in. I went past Dog Swamp myself yesterday and it was dry as a nun’s camel’s. Frankly it made my tail droop.
I’ve never believed that the suburb of Darch actually existed, but apparently here’s proof that it does. Nicholas T captured the ghetto chic that is apparently the only charm of the place. Perth has an ever growing list of suburbs I’ve never heard of and wonder why people would go there. I swear I heard someone refer to a suburb called Camillo. It doesn’t seem to have a sister city sign yet, but Nicholas thinks it is paired with Pripyat in the Ukraine. Will have to check with She-Ra.
MyNing, who acheived fame with his bad photos of Paul Murray, now furthers his photographic credentials with a bad photo of Colin Barnett. Inexplicably he also includes a shot of the back of the Premier’s head. His best side. Cunctatious Col was down in Boddington for the opening of a new mine. I wonder if he popped down to Ravensthorpe to check on the mothballing of the Nickel mine? MyNing’s work reminds me somehow of the work of Andre Kertesz, particularly the back of head shot. Can you get Mark McGowan, perhaps scratching his ring MyNing?
Lamination poisoning (it’s a poison)
A toxic wasteland (got a toxic wasteland) in your staff bog
Overloaded (I’m overloaded), suffering (yeah!)
Overloaded (overloaded) on microwave privileges
Everything is black and white
You are wrong and we are right
First we’ll spank your big behinds
Then we’ll twist your little minds
I’m dr. righteous (I’m dr. righteous), and I’m here to sing (yeah!)
That lamination is poisoning
It’s a dirty dish wasteland, that destroys the young (yeah!)
They’re overloaded (overloaded) on coffee grounds, toilet brushes, sex and drugs
And rock and roll! STYX
Orbea presents a few, just a few mind, of the incredibly moronic signs that cover virtually every surface of the interior of City West Lotteries House. What sort of mentality drives someone to make up and laminate a sign on how to use the soap dispenser in the bog? Do they not see that it is their signs that are worse than any actual problem? I assume every single employee delights in fucking up the soap dispenser, pissing all over the toilet brush, switching off the urn, pouring coffee grounds down the sink…
Roughage my arse. Get fucked. Your font fever and underlining indicates you may be an idiot.
I’m turning it off now dickhead. I have also crapped in this urn.
I directed a stream of urine onto this brush. I’m refilling bladder to slash upon your laminator.
Get fucked.
Fuck off.
In the crab infested burgh of Mandurah I saw this. I thought it would make a nice change from insinuating that every object longer than it is wide could be construed as a donger. Not this one fortunately. Not a chance. I would appreciate any flange related items however, just to take the curse off.
Was some nostalgia tonight for the simpler times nearly 2 years ago when I used to censor the pics here. No Boozies, no map of Tassie. What was I thinking? Also reminded how precient this blog was on that thread. (Thanks Bento). Troy Buswell was finished, Matt Birney was a shining new hope for the Libs, and Colin “Asleep before he got to the wheel” Barnett was yesterday’s man.
When WAtching claims he has a masterpiece, I say “Hold the front page.” The veining is exquisitely done no? You wouldn’t get this quality in a Pompeii knock shop although the duck should have it on some kind of leash.
Tim saw this hopelessly addicted snail in Parliament Place West Perth sucking on a discarded cigarette. I guess it would be a Labor ciggie, (surely they smoke more, and need the excuse to go outside and talk to Brian Burke) but would a Labor politician waste so much tobacco? 
The owners of this worst (which is so toxic now, even mosquitoes won’t breed in it) pointed me to this quaint worst in Bassendean, the Arboretum, where signs wishfully depict fantasy examples of WA plant habitats. Very sad. And even sadder is the derelict bridge where you would have been able to cross from the northern Jarrah forests to the Mallee Heath. Now you have to take the long way round via the Karri forest. AND even sadder than that are the numerous plant guards, now protecting dried sticks, which seem to have been planted without any thought of watering. This is on Broadway Street Basso.
Here’s the Best of the TWOP twitter newsfeed lately. Current news alerts are in the sidebar, or subscribe to them all with The Worst of Perth rss news feed so you don’t miss any gold.
Tony Abbott demonstrates his “drop and roll” technique for retaining virginity…
Raise The Red Concubine: Chinese mistresses rate Aussie businessmen 1 out of 10 in the sack. 0 out of 10 in the giftshop – Study…
Bert Newton’s head “too wide” for facial recognition software. Returning from Antwerp, Newton’s head scanned as “invalid input” at airport…
Lenin & Lennon haunting Subiaco house “baffling”. Psychics say the similar sounding names may just be coincidental. John Lennon & Vladimir…
Michael Bevan’s tandoori recipe provoked Aussie cricket threat in India. A hardline Hindu group said “He put fucking paprika in it!.”…
Tiger penis wine “mostly made with turtle legs”. Critical shortage of tiger penis ahead of Chinese New Year has led to substitutions…
Dead Salinger was found clutching abusive letter from Tim Winton. Doctors have played down the effect of a 10 000 word obscenity filled…
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