Hands across the lawn

In the crab infested burgh of Mandurah I saw this. I thought it would make a nice change from insinuating that every object longer than it is wide could be construed as a donger. Not this one fortunately. Not a chance. I would appreciate any flange related items however, just to take the curse off.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst art, worst public art, worst sculpture and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Hands across the lawn

  1. Caribou Bob says:

    What does the text below the hands fondling the crab-stabber say?


    • Something about message sticks and symbolising the something of the something.


      • Bento says:

        I’ve managed to blow the pic up large enough to make out the plaque.

        “This sculpture was originally dedicated as a gift from the people of Rockingham to the people of Mandurah, on the construction of the Kwinana Freeway, and symbolised the handing over to Mandurah of the status of the worst coastal shithole tourists have to drive through on the way to somewhere better. In turn, on the completion of the Mandurah Bypass, the people of Mandurah now dedicate this sculpture to the people of Bunbury, as the next-best toilet stop on the way to somewhere nice. And so, as the metropolitan area expands, we hope one day the Bunbarians will pass the baton to Busselton, unless science finally finds a way to teleport us directly from Mount Lawley to Margaret River.”


  2. shazza says:

    Yep, there’s no way, no how that could be misconstrued as a manhandled penis. And the silver hand doesn’t look remotely like a mouth that could be in the act of fellating. All looks innocent enough to me.

    I appreciate the ebony and ivory thing they’ve got going there too. How inclusive.


  3. munkipants says:

    to be fair though, those hands could be construed as holding in the wanking position. obviously a little loose for the disco stick in hand but it could be a starting pose.


  4. skink says:

    it is well known that there is only one dildo in Mandurah, and the good ladies of the town take turns with it and then pass it to their neighbour.

    this statue celebrates the passing of the dildo and is titled “Did you wash it?”


  5. rolly says:

    Plain to see that there are no dick heads.

    Unless it’s the commenters.


  6. B.T. says:

    Donger relay. Popular passtime at B&S balls.


  7. skink says:

    I like the little metal strap around the wood to prevent anyone stealing it.

    stick theft is a major problem in Mandurah, and one of the main reasons for the introduction of the new stop and search laws

    or is it a cock ring?


  8. Paracleet says:

    What with the bypass isolating the area no doubt the locals will be treating it as an idol in six months time. Leaping around, screaming, smashing femurs on piles of bones of their dead reverse baton change-cock worshiping comrades.
    Perhaps similar to the thoughts of that peanut on the ABC doco last night thought; The people of Mandurah will reverse evolve into 4 foot chinless midgets in just such a short time.
    Oh, Wait…


  9. Onanist says:

    It looks to me like the symbolic passing of the cricket bat.


  10. Pravda says:

    Looks a bit like a double-dutch rudder. Google it – it’ll change your life.


  11. ronggly says:

    That truly is an awful sculpture. The dreariness of the lack of imagination and technique. One can only hope that some one will light a fire underneath the donger (it looks like its
    burnable) and replace it with a couple of empty VB cans.


  12. skink says:

    headline on WAToady:

    “Cock faces probe”

    which I believe is called ‘sounding’


  13. Mez says:

    I’m pretty certain that that is the same chiko roll I chucked out the driver’s side window passing Halls Head circa. 1988
    I am honoured that the good people of Mandurah have memoralised this event


    • munkipants says:

      Obviously Mandurahians trying to keep up with the competition Mez.

      I’m sure the pressure was on after they spotted the popularity of this Golden Chiko Roll immortalized over at the Museum of the Riverina in Wagga Wagga.


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