I bet a tradie of gold…

Umm….It’s Perth OK? Deal with it. Or as the Tshirts say, “Go to Bunnings, buy some wood, bring that wood home in your Porshe, build a bridge and ram that bridge up your arse.” A fine worst auteured (albeit in a very small photo) by Patrick D. Como.
If I may, what’s the deal with all these, “Go to Bunnings, build a bridge and get over it.” shirts? Aren’t the turds sporting these elaborate discourses precisely the ones who haven’t got over it? Haven’t got over it to the extent that they need to buy a tshirt about it? Isn’t the buying of the shirt overwhelming evidence that they haven’t got over it, whatever “it” may be? I may be no Derridarian, but aren’t the wearers of these shirts rejecting the notion that there is no text outside the text, to the extent that the unscrambled message, must read, “I’m a cunt who can’t get over something, and what that something is, I don’t know, but I still retain some rage probably connected to some kind of sexual disfunction? Wake up and smell the frogs’ legs baby. Pranked.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in Uncategorisable Worsts, worst car and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

55 Responses to I bet a tradie of gold…

  1. River Ralphie says:

    Ummm… huh? LA… what the hell are you on about with your rant?

    Like

  2. fight_it says:

    perth is a city of soaring highs but also crushing lows

    Also, FIRST!

    Like

  3. Rolly says:

    That’s pure Bogan – with the capital B.

    I’ve got mobs of cash.

    If I scratch the Porkipine, I’ll get a new one.

    The ash tray’s getting a bit full anyway.

    Like

  4. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    I wanna see the T-shirts.

    That’s a porsche?…

    Like

  5. shazza says:

    I like this. It’s utilitarian, or something.

    Like

  6. Snuff says:

    Not worst, apart from the overrated Porsche, and the disfunctional datfunctional dysfunctional T-shirts, obviously.

    Like

  7. pete says:

    Worse still, there is boat in the background. So he clearly has another car capable of towing a boat.

    Perhaps it’s too nice a car to stick a dirty wheelbarrow in.

    Like

  8. Jack says:

    I have a 928 and they are actually one of the most practical of Porsches, as the engine is in the front like a normal car. Mine regularly carries my mountain bike. As far as I can tell this is actually an older model with the bumper of a newer 1987+ version stuck on.

    He needed one of these:

    Porsche Ute!

    Like

  9. Bento says:

    Not worst. To me, this says old school moderately wealthy retired gent, who’s fucked if he’s going to pay good money to some dickhead with blonde highlights and a sleeve tattoo just to mix up some concrete.

    And besides, it’s only a 928 (correct me if I’m wrong, BO’T/Rolly), deserving of very little respect.

    Like

    • pete says:

      I’m not an anthropologist but by my thinking, when you buy a sports car, you’re no longer old school or concerned about dickheads with blonde highlights.

      Like

    • Bag O'Turnips says:

      Sure, it’s “only” a 928, but they too have their fans, their appeal owing not only to their relative practicality over a 911, but also their price, which doesn’t hold anywhere as well as a 911.

      Like I mentioned in a previous post here, it could be a tradie who overreached when getting the HSV/FPV/SS/XR6 ute and had to hand that back, keeping the Porsche, which originally was a weekend toy. And believe me, the NaB (new-age bogan) likes to have a bet each way with their conveyances, in that they still drool over local muscle like any unreconstructed bogan, but they also have aspirations of “effluence”[sic], whereby they will covet foreign metal, but only certain types that suitably impart a nouveau-riche conspicuous consumption. Ergo a secondhand Porsche, which is the ultimate expression of “look at moi”.

      Like

      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        yeah the daughter little bitch wanted a new audi just for finishin’ school told ‘er she can buy her own when she’s earnin’ I mean we just bought the weekender in Jurien so she can shove it yeah so we got her this now she wants a fuckin’ number plate too “KRYSTALEYZ” or some shit ha ha

        Like

        • RubyRuby says:

          “ha ha”?

          Lolz.

          Like

        • Bag O'Turnips says:

          I think the only Audi she’d want is either a Q5 SUV (though I’d suspect a BMW X1/X3 is more conspicuous and attracts more bogans) or a TT Roadster (for all the wrong reasons, for they’re quite a fine car in their own right).

          Bogans generally tend not to go for Audis, as they usually tend to be a bit too understated for their blatant taste (or lack of thereof) in consumption, which requires obvious validation and becoming a source of envy. To that, the Four Rings of Ingolstadt tend not to get anywhere near the “oohs” and “ahhs” that either the Bavarian Roundel or the Stuttgart Star attract.

          The understated yet timelessly elegant lines are part of the reason I prefer Audi over the other two German luxury marques. Besides the powerful and silken yet economical drivetrains (especially with quattro), the peerless interior fit and finish and the unimpeachable build quality also attract me, even if they are in essence over-engineered Volkswagens.

          But that’s no bad thing, either. Not that the bogan cares for that.

          Like

  10. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    “I’ve got a Porsche.”

    Like

  11. Paracleet says:

    There is another version of the Bunnings shirt along the lines of: ‘Go to Bunnings, buy a bag of cement and harden the f*ck up’. Indeed such a shirt is a weekly prize for the person deemed to have done the softest thing during the period at a local amateur sporting club at which I am a member. An edifying spectacle. Oh and the best bit: it’s a singlet.

    Like

  12. cybill says:

    I think this is a photographic example of what happens when a manufactured mid-life crisis meets a concrete life crisis.

    Like

  13. FYI am not putting up comments connecting this post to premises in East Victoria park. Just to be cautious,

    Like

  14. Dyldo says:

    The “Go to Bunnings, build a bridge and get over it” t-shirt observations remind me of the “DILLIGAF” stickers which appear to popping up on the back of 4x4s everywhere, which someone pointed out to me means “do i look like i give a fuck”. The general effort of placing a sticker on the back of a car just to imply that they don’t give a fuck leads me to think that they probably do. Plus I’m sure that even rhetorical questions require a question mark.

    Like

  15. The Legend 101 says:

    Can someone explain, what happend to the car?

    Like

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