OK, there has been some questions from interstate and international TWOP fans about what a registered lawn is in Perth. Here is the lowdown. The strip of (public) land between your front boundary and the road is the arena of praxis where the registered lawn battle takes place. First you need to be a wanker who owns a home, you then attempt to extend a quasi ownership of the Gaza like strip by informing the local council that you are a bit of a cunt, and would like to make it difficult for neighbours and visitors to the area if possible. The council responds by sending you a sign to nail onto the tree or wall, which if viewed with ultra violet light, reads, “Arsehole on board.” Then you need to neglect the strip so it becomes a desolate wasteland of sand and weeds, which you still will defend to the death to stop someone walking or parking on it. OK, that’s it. Except that it isn’t. I wrote to the city of South Perth and the Head Ranger , who wrote back promptly.
Dear Andrew, RE: PARKING ON VERGES Thank you for your email to the City of South Perth concerning registered lawns and parking vehicles on verges.The City does not offer registered lawns, but a person can not park a vehicle on a verge without the permission of the adjoining owner (unless signposted ie if there is parking restrictions already on the verge). If you do experience any vehicles parking on the verge, please contact the City on 9474 0777 and a Ranger will attend. You are also required to sign a witness complaint form before the Ranger can issue an infringement to any vehicle on the verge. As per the Citys Parking Local Laws;10.6 Parking on verges (nature strip)A driver must not park a vehicle on a nature strip without the permission of the owner or occupier of the land that shares a common boundary with the nature strip. So they may have had registered lawns in the past, but they don't now it seems, or maybe they were always bogus. But, no-one can park on your verge without your permission anyway, which in effect makes every street verge a registered lawn as far as I can tell. Bento sent one example from Como. This claim of registration is bogus according to the Head Ranger, however its bogusity is moot, because you can't park there anyway. Mark sends another from Nedlands. They may have bylaws for registered lawns in Nedlands, (they certainly have a lot of arseholes there,) I don't know, but it doesn't matter anyway. You can't park there in any case. The main value of the registered lawn sign really lies in the highlighting of the exquisite neglect of the area. It's as if Hitler had invaded Poland, and instead of getting all final solution on their arses, just let weeds grow on it, and shouted at Stalin for parking his tanks there. (Or at least made furious calls to the league of Nations.) Any questions?