Some superb worsts are to be found at Todd’s Auctions in I think Maida Vale. Perhaps Forrestfield. These elephant chairs transcend hideous. They were also at the height of milking stols, so I’m not sure why you’d sit on them unless you and a couple of friends wanted to simultaneously milk a cow. Or goat. There was also the ugliest bed I have seen in some time. An interesting establishment. I remember being dragged there by the parents in probably 1972 or 3. I like it. I’ll be back again.
Worst Talk
AHC McDonald on Save Our Blank Walls Anonymous on Save Our Blank Walls AHC McDonald on Save Our Blank Walls Anonymous on Save Our Blank Walls Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on A Short Stack of Crap paulie48406 on Pizza Showtime! AHC McDonald on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! AHC McDonald on Pulling Off Trucks AHC McDonald on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… AHC McDonald on Private Dancer Online Now
The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
Long time listener, first time caller. Yes Todd’s. My old hood. Think it is under the locality of “Forry”, for the time being. Unless I am mistaken there was a murder on the auction grounds, being of a domestic nature. Within that same calendrical year i am pretty sure that there was another murder a couple of cyclone fences away (Hawtin Road) Yes THE home of car on bricks
LikeLike
Yes there was a murder at hawtin road. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx i knew the family as a child but have lost contact after school finished. the were a great family.
LikeLike
Dude. The case is on austlii: having the names is fine.
LikeLike
that bed is badass.
LikeLike
So you were trawling through Todds on the weekend.
“Happy Mothers Day Mum. Sorry I didn’t wrap it, but the tusks kept ripping the paper.”
“Wow. Thanks…. Did you keep the reciept?”
LikeLike
hmmm, those elephant chairs reminded me of these nut sack chairs – dual purpose maybe?
LikeLike
Perhaps an elephant stool might make it easier for these guys.
LikeLike
Cue poo jokes.
LikeLike
Please don’t start- those chain puns just give me the shits
LikeLike
Oh Scheiße: here’s the link—tried doing it on my mobile earlier:
The elephant stools might help these guys.
LikeLike
BOT – fabulous video – bizarrely fascinating.
i found this one this morning and wasn’t going to post but now you’ve inspired me:
LikeLike
Is that Mrs TWOP incognito by the bed?
LikeLike
And Pa TWOP in the mirror at top right?
LikeLike
No. Unknown bargain hunter.
LikeLike
i do like the tape in arse crack detail.
i have spent many an hour in todds marvelling at the junk when i lived in the hills.
LikeLike
Incorporating palmery into an interior shot is magnificent. Bravo.
LikeLike
I shamefully admit I haven’t been keeping up to date with TWOP recently – have these dolphins featured yet?
https://theworstofperth.com/2010/05/10/elephantitightarse/#comments
LikeLike
Oh, balls! Pasted the wrong thing :D
http://www.inmycommunity.com.au/news-and-views/local-news/-Dolphin-statue-proves-a-hit-/7556004/
Sorry :)
LikeLike
Mother of god. They revolve under the influence of a gold coin?
LikeLike
Oh no. The Smiths.
LikeLike
wow, a statue commemorating dolphin’s propensity for pack rape.
how very progressive.
LikeLike
Yes, rather than having the dolphins mounted, just holding fins would have been sufficient.
LikeLike
the tech specs for anyone wondering how such a graceful artwork rotates
LikeLike
Great copy:
“People are having photos taken, there are little stories (about the dolphins) flying round and it is a way of dealing with people’s grief (about the loss of the dolphins),” he said.
“There are many good things coming out of it.”
Hey, its been erected by the Rotary organisation, and it rotates !
Geddit?
LikeLike
Must get down and do some video.
LikeLike
Must get down and jam the mechanical workings
LikeLike
With..? No I don’t want to know.
LikeLike
But you did mean jiz right?
LikeLike
at a pinch, some wet sand would do it
LikeLike
Dolphin defence league.
href=”http://www.animalliberationfront.com/ALFront/ALFPrime2.htm” rel=”nofollow”>Tastes like chicken.
LikeLike
ALF lock stuffing
LikeLike
Albert speaks to a passenger at Currambine Train Station. Clearly his wife isn’t pulling her weight to be called a passenger on his own website.
LikeLike
“Albert hires a Bouncy Castle for Beaumaris Primary School Fair.”
LikeLike
UGH
LikeLike
“Albert does part-time work with Australian Wildlife”
What is he doing to that koala ?
LikeLike
where you bin hidin’ that chlamydia there kaola?
LikeLike
Good photo there of him and Barnett staring at each other’s crotches.
LikeLike
Indeed, ronggly, and … surely not.
LikeLike
Albert gets his fucking pixie-cut feathered at a local salon
LikeLike
‘Cecylia! Geddon the trayne ya little shit..’ etc.
LikeLike
“Albert with students form Ocean Reef Senior High”(sic)
“Albert with Treasurer Troy Buswell.”
“Albert with Barry Courts jizz on his face.”
LikeLike
what are albert and troy’s hands doing out of shot?
LikeLike
“Albert terrifies local wildlife.”
LikeLike
his wife appears in the doorknocking photo as well
===============
(JACOB and some of his MLA’s reflect on CECYLIA’s
Suburban progress. MEZ takes over many of the
MLA’s lines during this sequence and also adds
various comments of his own.)
JACOB:
People of Mindarie! I send you the Rainbow of Ocean Reef!
MEZ:
Kallaroo has fallen to the charms of Cecylia She can do what she likes–it doesn’t matter much
She’s our Lady of the Suburbs with the golden touch.
She filled a bull-ring–forty-five thousand seater.
But if you’re prettier than Krsticevic
That’s not hard.
Krsticevic’s reign in Carine should see out the naughties
So you’ve just acquired an ally who
Looks as secure in his job as you
But more important, current political thought is
Your wife’s a phenomenal asset
Your trump card
JACOB and MLAs:
Let’s hear it for the Rainbow Tour
It’s been an incredible success
We weren’t quite sure, we had a few doubts…….
MEZ:
Will Cecylia win through?
JACOB and MLAs:
But the answer is yes!
JACOB:
There you are, I told you so
Makes no difference where she goes
The whole world over–just the same
Just listen to them call her name
And who would underestimate the passenger now?
MEZ:
Now I don’t like to spoil a wonderful story
But the news from Vasse isn’t quite as good
She hasn’t gone down like we thought she would
Freo’s unconvinced by suburban glory
They equate Jacob with Troy
Can’t think why
CECYLIA: (in Kallaroo)
Did you here that?
They called me a passenger!
They actually called me a passenger!
AN OCEAN REEF ADMIRAL (MEZ):
But Signora Cecylia–
It’s an easy mistake
I’m still called an admiral
Yet I gave up the sea long ago
JACOB and MLAs:
Let’s hear it for the Rainbow Tour
It’s been an incredible success
We weren’t quite sure, we had a few doubts
MEZ: Dont’t cry for me Burns Beach and Iluka
LikeLike
with a scent reminiscent of Tamala Park are you channelling Andrew Lloyd Weber?
LikeLike
all through my wild days
my sad existentence
I kept my promise
don’t keep your Datsuns
Ikeep on typing
the
column
gets thin
though it seems to be boxing me in
It is an illusion and
not the solution TLA meant it to be
The textbox was here all the time
I href you and hope you href me.
Have
I drunk too much?
there is nothing left to drink with you.
but all you have to do is look at me to know every word is true…
etc.
LikeLike
Nice, Mez!
If I am TWOP’s poet laureate, Mez is our resident librettist.
Did you have an accompanying tune in mind?
LikeLike
nearly wept Mez
LikeLike
Nice Arse.
LikeLike
Ah.. just seen the portrait, obviously her better side.
LikeLike
Not if you want to video it
LikeLike
Apparently we can soon experience this wonder from the comfort of our browser, TLA, as “It is also proposed to have a live-camera feed with the possibility of 24/7 world exposure and operation (from internet donations) via the web.” I can hardly wait. It’s probably a safer option if Bento’s right, and it’s a sting to lure the culprits.
LikeLike
These dolphins serve absolutely no porpoise.
LikeLike
You kind of have to wonder about the manufacturer’s state of mind when this sort of thing turns up. RESIN stools in the form of musting elephants ready to trunk-gouge the sitter’s vertebrae. Durable, comfortable RESIN stools hand-lacquered in a delightful caramel shade of guano.
LikeLike
Sweet Buff Jesus. A Smith bronze, of dolphins, in Albert Jacobs’s electorate, that’s about 10 years past relevance, and ROTATES WHEN YOU PUT A COIN IN. If there’s a cocos palm, or drawing of a cock, anywhere near this, you won’t be able to convince me it’s not an elaborate joke at our expense.
LikeLike
Love your new background art, very nauseating indeed. I’m assuming that’s institutional bad taste at work?
LikeLike
i believe it is from curtin university of macrame and finger painting.
LikeLike
I actually think those elephant chairs are bad-ass and despite the height issues i think ill go for a drive and buy me some elephant chairs after all the trunks are raised and so its good luck
may have to get them 2 pak coloured in white so it matches my cliched architect minimalism
LikeLike
Pingback: Dad’s dead, sell the chair. | The Worst of Perth
Every time you inhale, this expands, with the help of the universe’s all-natural protective energies.
Insights and ideas may pop up as we stray from our regular routines.
This once more, may not be comprehensive, as human emotions go.
LikeLike