Sexy Salmon, what have you done?

Bag O Turnips, took the photo made with the commentary and even sourced a musical quote.  Hooooeee that’s diligent worsting. So, over to you Bag O’…

Sexy everywhere
Sexy up the river, where it flows among green aits and meadows
Sexy down the river, where rolls defiled among the tears of shipping and the waterside pollutions of a great and clean city
Sex in the featureless, genderless, self-frosting glass toilet doors
Sexy in the humble ground-floor keycutter’s cubicle
Sexy in PowerPoint presentation and the workflow chart and the mission statement
Sexy in the opinion and truthSexy in everything, but sex.  DC Root, from the promotional trailer to the ROOT! album, Surface Paradise.

When I was out on the weekend, I noticed this fishmonger’s van parked near the UWA boatshed carpark, selling “SEXY SALMON FILLETS”. And it got me thinking, “geez, even a weekend fishmonger flogging fillets of fish—anyone more salt of the earth and old school, one would presume—has resorted to sex to sell fuckin’ fish. Well, I s’pose if the smell of raw salmon reminds one of the pudenda, then so be it!Thanks Bag O.


About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
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71 Responses to Sexy Salmon, what have you done?

  1. Hugh Jass says:

    I only eat sexy seafood. Never again will I buy non-sexy seafood.
    mmm… check out the tits on that lobster. So attractive.

    Coles & Woolies can go to hell. I now buy direct from this monger.


  2. David Cohen says:

    You run this and not the crab signage from the Guildford ‘monger?

    For shame.


  3. WAtching says:

    What on earth is this new background TLA?



  4. Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

    Cooler on the blink
    Wafting diesel masks warm fish
    Sexy pudenda


  5. rolly says:

    Love it; absolutely love it; especially after some silly tweeter got boned for suggesting that an underage but precocious ‘celebrity’ might get laid after the Logies.
    Sexy fish fillets feeds my social cynicism perfectly, with or without Hollandaise sauce.

    Themed background is perfect. Well done that man.


  6. Shreiking Wombat says:

    Sexy salmon, the whiff of the sea. I would have thought this was ripe for a bit of Wintoning.


    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      Connecting the words “sexy” and “Winton” results in a complete mental non plus ultra for me.


    • Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

      ‘Bugger!’ Jaidyn sagged in his chair. It was the drinking, he reckoned – hardly excessive, but still. It’d blunted his game; left him open. Prime opportunities cropping up like South Freo warehouses, and all he’d come out with was a shitty Darch duplex of puns. Unforgivable. He clenched his fist around his pen. The shame came biting back, its warm tang recumbent against the back of his mouth, the memories washing in like day-old dhuhy fillets in the drip-basket. His first time dumped in the surf, bloody lips pursed with squinting embarrassment in the penetrating sunlight. Little Becky Gibbons, pointing at his fat belly, leading the chorus of mockery. When would it ever end? He couldn’t say – his entire existence, an aqueous cycle, heartbreak spattered like ocean spume across the pages. Phwoar, that was deep, deeper than that mussel trough down near Fitzy’s shed. Those had been the days, he thought…


  7. Cookster says:

    There’s a lingerie shop in Lorne Victoria called Fishy Knickers… maybe these Salmon came via the Great Ocean Road.


    • Shreiking Wombat says:

      That conjures up some very interesting images Cookster. You haven’t been doing Busewells, have you?


      • orbea says:

        In Freo’s fair city,
        where the hippies are clique-ey,
        I first set my eyes on boofish Adele Carles
        She first took her seat in Parlee
        We snogged in a pantry
        Crying Buswell’s cock’n’balls
        Alive alive O

        Alive alive O I’m reaching a big O
        Crying Buswell’s cock’n’balls
        Alive alive O

        She was a left lawyer
        a pleader and borer
        but preaching a tory line was something she’d learned
        She hated the sheep trade
        and lead on the rail trains
        Crying Buswell’s cock’n ball’s alive alive O

        She fucked me in Parlee
        we fucked in Albanee
        she fucked me so hard whenever we could
        we mass debated in Parlee
        we both knew twas screwey
        Crying Francois and Marg’ret
        Goodbye goodbye O

        Crying Greenies and Tories
        goodbye bye Freo.


  8. bradc says:

    That guy is clearly in cahoots with the fish guy in Guildford, he too has the Sexy Salmon sales pitch. When will they get the link between “prawn” and “pawn”?


  9. Anonymous says:

    I made a sexy salmon video!


  10. Brad Suiter says:

    We buy from the sexy salmon fish guy in Guildford. Awesome fish. We don’t go anywhere else.


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