The Angry Whopper

Posted on December 30, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Listen you at first blush pricks. I PAUL MUrray Am the angry whopper.

angrywhopper1Walking my little doggie (junior whopper) around Allen park the other day,  I was at first blush at a loss as to what text based website I would “quote” from this week. At first blush I decided to lambaste the Cottesloe council for spending a pitiful $172 000 on repairing the Cottesloe Beach pylon. Although most West Australians have an affectionate spot for the pylon, generations having swum out to and dived off it, a complete danger to shipping as myself has at first blush a hatred for  let me say at the outset the pylon. The only time I tried to swim to the pylon, Japanese whalers massed off Cottesloe beach with harpoons at the ready, so let me spoil everyone else’s fun.

Is there not a pensioner with a copy of one of my columns in their sad cabbage fragranced pockets that desrves this money more? Is there not the odour of stale farts and self rightousness that would benefit from this money more than a state icon?

And while we’re on the subject of smells, I was mortified to hear that Baz Lurman had got the rights to The Great Gatsby. I haven’t ‘t actually read the book myself, but I have already tuned my mighty film reviewing skills top this as yet unmade movie. Let me say at the outset that I condemn this movie because it will detract from my status as The Angry Whopper. I am determined that a Gatsby Whopper from Hungry jacks will not usurp my role .

Posted in worst of perth | 21 Comments

Xmas be done

Posted on December 29, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Christmas, like facebook is over. Kensington.

christmasendschristmasendscu

Posted in worst christmas | Tagged , | 11 Comments

And crabs be the streets of Basso

Posted on December 28, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Dust be the streets of Old Beijing. Blood be the streets of Old Nanjing. And crabs for the streets of Basso.

One from David Fucking Outrage Cohen. Crab carcasses on the streets of Bassendean. This is the sort of worst I really like. A trivial photo only relevant to The Worst of Perth, but original, disturbing, and will I think be of interest to cultural anthropologists of the future. Perhaps we can build up a menu of street dropped food. So far crab and Black Sambuca. Somehow it could work.

crabsAnd while we’re on the subject of food, MIKE rightly asks “What’s the fucking deal with Angry Whopper!”. MIKE says…  I can’t find the words to describe the stupidy of this promotion, and the absurdity of last Monday night when i stopped into a Hungry Jacks to use the toilet and heard staff shouting through the mic : “Another Angry and fries”

Mike has set up a facebook group against said bellicose burger. And Mike, when you say “use the toilet”, you mean “buy angry whopper” right?

Perhaps older TWOP’ers can remember Rage Pies, which I seem to recall the Dugites did the ad for. Frank? You remember? Angry Whopper my whopper. Can turd burger be far away?

AND can I also say “what’s the deal with facebook?” I’ve moved to twitter, which restricts you to 140 characters, and no cunt’s sending me a PICTURE of beer. If I could be bothered closing my FB account I would. Yeah, send me a picture of a bunch of flowers there. No really, that would make my day.

Facebook. He be dead.

Thanks DFOC and Mike. See you both in the Facebook small picture of beer appreciation group.

Posted in worst food | 23 Comments

Sagy Borls

Posted on December 27, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Been away down South for a few days. Didn’t have the chance to see much worst, but this sagy borls graffiti in Yallingup was good. I also saw” Sharon sucks dikcs” in Busselton, so spelling may be a bit of a problem down that way. Perhaps it’s just fashionable misspelling like I do on this blog. Anyway sagy borls of the season. Sagy borls to everyone said Tiny Tim.

sagy

Posted in worst graffiti, worst spelling | Tagged , | 5 Comments

Bunbury Xmas

Posted on December 26, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Merry christmas. To celebrate  The Worst of Perth’s second Baby-Jesus day, here’s how Bunbury celebrated 10 years ago.

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Boxing day post might be a little late.

Posted in worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Bugger off

Posted on December 24, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Seen by Moira in Mundaring. For a second I thought it might be Rolly’s house. Merry xmas from Mundaring.

buggeroff

Posted in worst of perth | 2 Comments

Criminal Record

Posted on December 23, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Sounds the perfect room, and with no criminal record for 4 years, how could you resist?  Bentley.

criminal

Posted in worst advertising | Tagged , , , , | 16 Comments

More art genitals

Posted on December 22, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Saw this in Kings Park today. At first I thought these women’s genitals had been very poorly rendered by the artist, until I realised that they had been added later by “amateur” craftsmen. That’s the problem with limestone, you can carve it with a twig. For example…

genital1

…it toook only three minutes to create this bum hole, the way a boy scout starts a fire with a rotating  stick. Or so I’ve heard.

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And wasn’t it nice to have a quality sculpture unveiled  by The Lord Mayor in Howard street this week. The unveiling was delayed over all the Bill Henson controvery. I’m not sure why…

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perhaps it was this rendering of a 9 year old’s? In any case, this sculpture is not worst in TWOP books. I like it.

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Posted in worst art, worst public art, worst sculpture | Tagged , , | 71 Comments

Weekend Worstoff 36

Posted on December 20, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Have I put this from Grovesy up before? Can’t remember. Seems familiar, but I can’t find it. Anyhow, this I assume is now a totally vanished worst on Morrison Rd Midvale. Somehow Midland and international just don’t sit right together.

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And a disturbing Melbourne worst from meccano. A volcano project discarded near malvern Station.

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And another from Melbourne via Hokusan. I really want to staple that ear onto the board. Thanks Hokmeister.

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week36earcuWorst well.

Posted in weekend worstoff, worst advertising, worst sign | Tagged , , , | 17 Comments

Sexy Kiwi Fashion the Worst of Perth on Tour

Posted on December 19, 2008 by AHC McDonald

Some more NZ fashion worsts from my recent worst tour. I’m inclined to give worst of all to the woman wearing some kind of nappy. She apparently chose to dress like that. (And what was HE thinking with those turnups?) The other two, the dollar and the Celt must have been forced to don their garments for money as some last throw of the dice before prostitution became necessary. I told the dollar she had the class of a 2 dollar, for which she gave me a free voucher. They do sensibly have the one dollar smaller than the two dollar over there. The Celt might have armoured uggies. Wellington New Zealand.

napdollarcelt

Posted in *Worst of New Zealand | Tagged , | 4 Comments