Listen you at first blush pricks. I PAUL MUrray Am the angry whopper.
Walking my little doggie (junior whopper) around Allen park the other day, I was at first blush at a loss as to what text based website I would “quote” from this week. At first blush I decided to lambaste the Cottesloe council for spending a pitiful $172 000 on repairing the Cottesloe Beach pylon. Although most West Australians have an affectionate spot for the pylon, generations having swum out to and dived off it, a complete danger to shipping as myself has at first blush a hatred for let me say at the outset the pylon. The only time I tried to swim to the pylon, Japanese whalers massed off Cottesloe beach with harpoons at the ready, so let me spoil everyone else’s fun.
Is there not a pensioner with a copy of one of my columns in their sad cabbage fragranced pockets that desrves this money more? Is there not the odour of stale farts and self rightousness that would benefit from this money more than a state icon?
And while we’re on the subject of smells, I was mortified to hear that Baz Lurman had got the rights to The Great Gatsby. I haven’t ‘t actually read the book myself, but I have already tuned my mighty film reviewing skills top this as yet unmade movie. Let me say at the outset that I condemn this movie because it will detract from my status as The Angry Whopper. I am determined that a Gatsby Whopper from Hungry jacks will not usurp my role .