And crabs be the streets of Basso

Dust be the streets of Old Beijing. Blood be the streets of Old Nanjing. And crabs for the streets of Basso.

One from David Fucking Outrage Cohen. Crab carcasses on the streets of Bassendean. This is the sort of worst I really like. A trivial photo only relevant to The Worst of Perth, but original, disturbing, and will I think be of interest to cultural anthropologists of the future. Perhaps we can build up a menu of street dropped food. So far crab and Black Sambuca. Somehow it could work.

crabsAnd while we’re on the subject of food, MIKE rightly asks “What’s the fucking deal with Angry Whopper!”. MIKE says…  I can’t find the words to describe the stupidy of this promotion, and the absurdity of last Monday night when i stopped into a Hungry Jacks to use the toilet and heard staff shouting through the mic : “Another Angry and fries”

Mike has set up a facebook group against said bellicose burger. And Mike, when you say “use the toilet”, you mean “buy angry whopper” right?

Perhaps older TWOP’ers can remember Rage Pies, which I seem to recall the Dugites did the ad for. Frank? You remember? Angry Whopper my whopper. Can turd burger be far away?

AND can I also say “what’s the deal with facebook?” I’ve moved to twitter, which restricts you to 140 characters, and no cunt’s sending me a PICTURE of beer. If I could be bothered closing my FB account I would. Yeah, send me a picture of a bunch of flowers there. No really, that would make my day.

Facebook. He be dead.

Thanks DFOC and Mike. See you both in the Facebook small picture of beer appreciation group.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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23 Responses to And crabs be the streets of Basso

  1. Rachel says:

    Hi TLA,
    How are you its Rachel here Ive noticed you havent done any more run down brothel pics for a while. Head down to Edward Street East Perth and look for one that used to be called ” Dee’s Sweethearts” what a pile of rubble that place is LOL drove past it the other night while dropping off a friend in Stirling Street ugh!
    Anyways, I live in Basso and wonder where exactly this photo was taken?


  2. DFOC can give the gps details. Yes It’s time for another brothel isn’t it?


  3. David Cohen says:

    Good evening Rachel. These were on the pavement outside the Bassendean Shopping Centre, on Old Perth Road. About 25 metres east of the BWS door. Might still be there if you’re feeling a little peckish – I know that outlet stocks Black Sambucca…


  4. Rachel says:

    Oh yes please! Crab cakes, anyone? Hey TLA you know the purple horror in Eden Hill that church-turned-opshop place, on a day off from work a few months ago I went IN there omg ewwwww….


  5. caide says:

    i thought bassendean was bad. i found myself in maddington today – what an absolute dive. a different world.

    have you seen the angry whopper tv commercial?


  6. Yes I’ve seen the tv ad. looks like a soggy whopper, not angry. A really pitiful attempt. Beeping in the bus lane? Fake bikies looking on? Absoulutely crappy ads. Also seems to merge with a whole lot of other “THAT’S NOT…” ads.


  7. And Caide, who “finds themselves in Maddington”? The only way you can find yourself there is if you are pulling into the carpark of The Madington Swingers Club.


  8. Frank Calabrese says:

    Off topic, but I’m currently watching on Free to Air Satellite TV on RAI International a Beatles Tribute Concert featuring both Italian and international artists such as Donovan & Sinead O’Connor.

    As a second generation italian, it irks me to see Italians in Italy sing and speak english with an annoying American Accent, whereas we born here, or have come as small children like my oldest sister have Aussie Accents.


  9. And Donovan was a complete plonker too. Hilarious to see bob Dylan make a total fool of him in Dylan doco.


  10. Frank Calabrese says:

    And Donovan was a complete plonker too. Hilarious to see bob Dylan make a total fool of him in Dylan doco.

    His song was All You Need Is Love, complete with italian subtitles of the Chorus.

    And strangely, the stage is totally devoid of flowers, a feature of Italian performance stages, but they do have the large video wall. The Concert is outside near a river in some italian town.

    Truly tacky Television – I wouldn’t be surprised if our friend Eros Ramazotti makes an appearance.


  11. Frank Calabrese says:

    And Sinead is on now doing her second song, Hey Jude – she opened the show with UK singer Skin, and they sang a duet of Let It Be.


  12. Rolly says:

    Frank Calabrese said

    “As a second generation italian, it irks me to see Italians in Italy sing and speak english with an annoying American Accent, whereas we born here, or have come as small children like my oldest sister have Aussie Accents.”

    I can tell you, Frank, that it upsets a hell of a lot of Italians in Italy too.
    Just like a lot of Aussies get pissed off with the Australian singers and musos who whine on in faux American accents and I get thoroughly cheesed off with dropped waistlines on baggy pants and softball caps on with the peak at the back.
    All pretentious copycat stuff, Bro’.

    Get into Beppe Grillo’s blog to see the exposé of the demise of Italian politics and culture.

    I worry, – lots.


  13. Lesley Dewar says:

    Speaking of the Angry Whopper and bus lanes. If you check out the sign on the door as the bikie arrives for the group therapy session, someone has spelt “management” incorrectly for the Anger Management Session.

    Now that makes me ANGRY…….


  14. Lesley Dewar says:

    and I hope we make Kevin Rudd angry.

    Here is the address of his personal website –

    Tell the Australian Prime Minister yourself what you think about plans to censor the Internet in Australia


  15. Daniel says:

    While the Angry Whopper does make me angry, I’d like to point out that the “Dark Whopper” wheeled out for the Batman movie was the winner: weakest attempt at a movie tie-in/cross-promotion. ever.


  16. David Cohen says:

    What does the Angry Whopper smell like? I only ask as, to my amazement, there is a body spray from Burger King in the US:,0,6860503.column

    Towards the end of the article: “The French perfumer Etat Libre d’Orange introduced a product this year called Sécrétions Magnifiques that’s supposed to smell like a mix of blood, sweat and semen,” Herz said. “And the fashion designer Tom Ford has a cologne called Black Orchid that he’s said he intended to smell like a man’s crotch.”

    Good thing Valentine’s Day is only weeks away…


  17. Grrr says:

    Yes It’s time for another brothel isn’t it?

    The Scary Picture of Mary-Anne near Vic Park (@ Langtrees) says: Yes.

    Seriously, that thing is scary.
    If I were cruising the area for pay-by-the-hour sex (and not taking a short-cut to Vic Park) I’d head to Tedingtons…. it was white latice.


  18. Cookster says:

    The DARK whopper was bad enough. My nine-year-old would boldly state “I’m off for a dark whopper” when he paid an extended visit to the small room, but in time it passed. Both the whopper and his comment.

    Now these fuckers have come along with the ANGRY whopper, he’s at it again. I had to explain that it’s only angry the morning after a curry.

    We both scarpered down the hallway singing ‘Ring of Fire’ while Mrs Cookster threw things at us…


  19. David Cohen says:

    So you know the Cosby kids well, Cookster?


  20. Cookster says:

    Man, that is waaaayyyyy below the belt… even for a herring man!


  21. Pingback: Don’t Bogart the Octopus « The Worst of Perth

  22. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Missed this one before – great worst.


  23. Pingback: Outrage Sunday 94 thongs of the fisherman | The Worst of Perth

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