Weekend Worstoff 260 Merging Vibrancy

As part of thinking about a new direction for Weekend Worstoff, I thought we might look at the council merger of TWOP heartland so hotly opposed by local hottie Allannah Mactiernan. Will it really be worse for the area to have the badlands north of Vincent ceded to Stirling? To my mind the splitting of juristictions will lead to an increase of vibrancy. (Although we still don’t exactly know what vibrancy means.) Different policies to bins and public art will lead a magnificent melange of tastes and sights. Imagine, one side of Vincent will be all fixies and poodles, the other utes and pitbulls. One side has 6 rubbish bins, including one for pink waste, the other is permanent verge dumping. You can’t tell me that this tension wouldn’t produce the most vibrant pleasure node in the country.

And will it really be the death knell to the Beaufort Street Festival? I think it will be the making of it. Expand the fest past Walcott into Neo Stirling, (or will it be Bayswater?). On one side you’d have all the normal fire twirlers, junkies, fixies, prostitutes and the special breed of bad jazz that only Perth produces in such quantities, while up the road you could have another pleasure hub noded on Bell Enders, featuring washed up footballers, fifos and pensioners, all wearing that bad taste fashion label that I can’t remember the name of. Where these meet how about a cage fight between Ali Bodycoat and Jimmy Barnes? Why not? Let’s think of the positives.

There’s a “community” rally today in Angove Street. It’s already a fuck up. The plan was that if it was raining it would transfer to the Rosemount Hotel. WRONG. You start at the pub and stay there, whatever the weather. Do you want to be part of Perth? Then stop thinking like Stirlingites.

No, not splitting the arrondissement would be the real crime. City-of-Perth-boundaries-reform

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in weekend worstoff. Bookmark the permalink.

43 Responses to Weekend Worstoff 260 Merging Vibrancy

  1. BSWAM says:

    This response was on the Facebook page for the rally: “I agree! I live in City of Stirling & it’s lame as…I totally envy the lifestyle/sense of identity that you urban villagers have. However I can’t come to your rally I’ll be playing sport.”

    /vision of “sport” as a sort of nebulous catch-all involving mukluks, croquet mallets, twin volleyball nets, a bronze discus, a 1912 Stutz Bearcat racer with mag wheels/Budweiser sponsorship and 600 hockey pucks.

    Like

  2. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    “One in, all in” sounds suspiciously like the 2010 Gay Pride slogan.

    You don’t want to know how that ended up.

    Like

  3. Bent says:

    City of Stirling goons sighted this morning at the corner of Vincent and Beaufort. Appeared to be removing a tree. Probably to install new ‘entry statement’. Welcome to the Sudetenland.

    Like

We can handle the worst

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s