The hundreds of helicopters I’d flown in for CHOGM began to draw together until they formed a collective meta-CHOGM…and in my mind it was the most vibrant thing going; headline-deadline, print-broadcast, right wing-greenie, nimble, fluent, canny and human; hot sucked pen, liquid paper that burned like Mirrabooka napalm, junket-saturated tote bag, sweat cooling and warming up again, the welcome to country in one ear and the echoing tasers in the other, public art, heat, vibrancy and death, death itself, hardly an intruder…sometimes they were so plentiful and loose you could touch down at five or six world-class facilities in restricted CHOGM zones in one day, pap away, hear the talk, get strip-searched, catch the next one out. There was art as big as Paul Murray’s head made for $30,000; once we dropped into feed and supply one mime artist in King Street who had a bad thousand-yard stare. God knows what type of Marcel Marceau numbers he was doing in there, all he mimed to me was, ‘You didn’t see a thing, right chief? You weren’t even here.” Michael Herr, Dispatches.
After the horror, the goodie bag. I cunningly obtained two at the PCEC media hub; one is generating massive eBay interest as we speak. Look at these riches. Just look at them. There isn’t enough bandwidth to list them, but I know you will adore the lapel badge. I have the lapel badge, the tie, the pens (to suck), the bookmarks – when I have the stubby holder and the flatulence-powered radio the CHOGM souvenir circle will be complete.
With such a world-class event in town, a CHOGM surcharge is the natural order of things. Witness these craptacular ladders at a Guildford shop. The smaller one was $115; the other larger one $85. Prices bumped up by ten bucks each this CHOGM weekend. I use the past tense because barely 10 minutes after I papped them, they were snapped up by the Tanzanian third under-attache for zebra dropping import/export.
It is disappointing not everyone is getting into the swing of CHOGM things. That fucking rainmaker Bento, for example: instead of doing his patriotic duty tightening Jesus nuts on helicopters transporting hard-working media, he is hunting ANTILOP at IKEA.
No matter. Today Claremont Quarter is open for CHOGM business. Shopping delegates will be impressed with Bay View Terrace prices.
Merry CHOGMing: everyone’s a winner. Except Halloween celebrants. Krazy Kym and I briefly looked in at Natalia Fan #1’s PARTY last night, and there was a lot of “negative distressing energy”…from the link: “A basic law of spiritual science states that ‘The word, touch, form, taste, smell and its related energy coexist’. This means – where the name and form of ghosts, demons or negative energies exist, such as on Halloween, their distressing energy is present too. As the form and colour of the decorations and costumes used in Halloween celebration are similar to that of ghosts, they act as antennae to attract a lot of negative distressing energy.”
The Worst of Perth 
i love IKEA!
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chogm. the ‘cunt’ is silent
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Gotta laugh when quacks misappropriate the term science in a sad attempt to garner a shred of cred.
Very funny as usual David (It’s David not Dave) Cohen.
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Shalom Shazza my Bubbeh
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Yet don’t you just love living in scientific comfort, shaz ? Now pipe down, unhand me, and get back to your hosing.
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You know Snuff, that might just be me in ‘unhand’ :-)
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One of your better collages and think pieces Davo to the DeeFock
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Urrgh. My raja-tama’s through the roof.
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Church will sort it out, Bhoot-san.
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“Negative distressing energy” DC?
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Dude: it was a Halloween party. “Due to the increased activity of ghosts and the negative vibrations created by the various costumes and decorations, the raja-tama in the environment goes up by 30%.”
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NF#1, We started with a DC05 too..and now have a DC23 which I am totally in love with
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Ok val now you’re getting it.
Speaking of irrelevant segues, am I the only one who finds the history of DC and AC power very interesting?
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It is an interesting topic. Electric chair used as business propaganda.
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Yes!
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Now without wiki-ing it, was i edison pro dc and the opponent was Tessler?
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I’d have to wiki it to get my facts straight at the mo as i’ve had a few shandies. Over the last 6 or so months several books/articles Iv’e read have made references to this very interesting history. This morning I was reading about Einstein and again it came up. His family having suffered in the downturn of DC.
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What bullshit: I have never had a “downturn”.
I moderated your comment: did you feel it?
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Hahahaha.
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Sharon love, please elucidate. I’m just a dumb woman from Mullaloo. What did Einstein’s familie suffer in the downturn of DC?.
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Google is your friend “Valerie”.
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In a parallel world our alter egos are our friends
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Hey TLA does Cohen do the moderating on Sundays too? I love the idea of keeping him busy while he’s trying to enjoy a Mojito and Cuban cigar.
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He keeps his hand in.
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Where?
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shazza my love, I can tell you are warming to me, just a tiny little bit.
I digress…. I think you will find the Dyson DC23 is only available in AC power in Australia, although all my battery operated appliances are technically DC powered, that is until they frustratingly give out at they most inopportune moment
PS shazza, I would prefer you don’t address me as “val” I think it sounds so common, don’t you? And would prefer you address me as Valerie, as I think it has a nice ring of finesse about it
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@ val, I’ll be happy to refer to you as Valerie when you do.
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Here you go Germaine.
“Valerie”
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Nice try. Perhaps it would have more meaning if it was your commenting name, rather than a comment?
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My darling Sharon what must I do to placate you? Here you go my love, a second try
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Stop feeding the troll.
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Bento, Either accept our ausie ways or Fuk Orf bak to the U S of A
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FIFO from a dogfucker – sunk so low
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It was a quote, you plonker.
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Albeit an accurate one, Bento. As worthless trolls go, this one’s really pathetic.
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Which one? We seem to have collected a few. I don’t see how val is any worse than someone pretending to be a child. Or a troll who constantly asks about getting his cock sucked.
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Unfunny unpleasant and likely mentally ill – an uncomfortable mixture, and she’s here all the time. At least 101 is occasionally diverting. The cock sucking one, whose name I forget, isn’t around often. But this one just generally makes the place less amusing.
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TL101 even made a reasonable joke today – what the hell!
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Jane Z, I find all three equally obnoxious, and as previously stated, would not miss them should the banhammer be bought down on their arses.
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Thanks for sticing up for me Shazza
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This one is disturbed/ disturbing and although it’s nothing to do with me I’d rather they were gone.
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calamity JANEz, why don’t you shut your mouth and give your arse a chance just for once, you never know you might enyoy it. “mentally ill” how dare you, just because I have had a brain injury and suffer from OCD does NOT mean I am mentally ill and unable to contribute constructive comments on TWOP or any other site for that matter. Have a nice
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Well quite.
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JaneZ is on the money
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JaneZ, you should try to do some pelvic floor exercises, that would strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which would be a joy for all of us. Oh dear I forgot, you cant, as you’ve got an adams apple instead, which you like to exercise
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I’m rather interested in the secondhand stools, next to the craptacular ladders, how muxh were the stools priced at?
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Celebrating Halloween is utterly naff. What next Christmas lights and inflatable reindeer?
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R.W.’s fuckbaby, where have you been?
The Xssy lights and reindeer have been contaminating the Malls since September.
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ikea jingoism jungle kolon – DRINK!!!
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OT, maybe, while everyone’s favourite Communard is helping with the steering… Will /should they nationalise Qantas? (and what link is there between “they” and the freemasons?)
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RubyRuby, Being related to a Freemason, I can tell you there is no link between the Brotherhood of Freemasons and Qantas
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…except, perhaps, that it is the same, small, moneyed cabal that controls them, in much the same clandestine and perfidious manner as they control almost everything else.
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