Occupy Perth

Trust Perth to turn the Occupy brand to into a wet teatowel franchise. Aka fart in a bottle. If you can’t spell mining on your first go, for Gina’s sake get yourself a new piece of cardboard! I’m all for a minning tax but these tools make it so difficult. And doesn’t the Wellness Centre stand make you want to cry? Rice milk. Rice milk people! You are occupying Perth with fucking rice milk. There’s already a furious split between the rice and soy milk factions. It’s like if the Freedom Centre had lost access to a laminator. I sniff the beard of Bainbridge mixed up in this shambles. By The Colour H.


About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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147 Responses to Occupy Perth

  1. Snuff says:

    Kudos for the coordinated dildo.

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  2. NF#1 says:

    White bread?

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  3. The Legend 101 says:

    More like Poorness centre!

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  4. shazza says:

    The first pic is fantastic.
    “Wellness”. What kind of fucking word is that anyway?

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  5. Russell Wolfe's Lovechild says:

    Never get a feral to cater your protest movement.

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    • WarriorTom says:

      Ha ha! I get it. Never get a “feral” to “cat”er your protest movement. That’s why it’s such a “dog’s breakfast”. Tee hee!

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  6. Yeast Coast says:

    Hommus and tzatziki?? The minn-
    ing bosses are just wait-
    ing for them to starve.

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  7. Bento says:

    Fucked if I’m redistributing my wealth to some mung bean farter who hasn’t even got the gumption to go and work on the minns.

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  8. valerie woodruffe miners wife says:

    I shall go down there and king hit them, my hubby is in mining as he loves to drill holes, its the great unwashed rabble like this who are trying to destroy my posh miners wife mullaloo lifestyle, so that I will no longer be able to afford a bottle to fart in let alone get my teeth fixed

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  9. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Assembled Derridarians ,existentialists and CHOGsters, redistribution of the 1 percent’s wealth will be a long term political goal so we are going to have to get used to it. Specifically this will involve a redistribution of the Quantases’ board’s wealth and here more specifically I refer to the wealth of Sir General Peter Cosgrove QC KBE. Quibble and Bar.

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  10. Bento says:

    WAtching will be pleased to note our hemp smoking friends are supporters of the plastic fork industry.

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    • shazza says:

      Are you looking at the fork resting on the peanut butter lid? I too thought it was plastic, but on closer inspection am not so sure now.
      Still as NF#1 points out above, the generic brand white bread is worst worthy alone.

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      • valerie woodruffe on the cask says:

        I cant eat Crunchy peenut butter, the sharp little chards of undigested peenut get stuck in my diverticuliti in my large kolon, and tear my rectum upon evacuation, causing my haemorrhoids to bleed. So I cant think why they named it the “Wellness Centre”. I think its safer to stick with cheap wombat piss for a liquid lunch when one can

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    • orbea says:

      Does look like a metal knife poking out of jar of globalised food comglomerate Kraft vagmite? Free healing

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      • RubyRuby says:

        But metal comes from minning, raping mother earth etc etc… or is this too much thought and follow through for people who can’t set up a card table usefully?

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        • RubyRuby says:

          Ye gods and little fishes – just realised the punctuation on the signs is cutesie daisies…

          Nooooooo!

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          • valerie woodruffe sniffing daisy says:

            RubyRed, Thats not punctuation, the’re bullets

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            • RubyRuby says:

              Even worse. Bloody hippies.

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              • RubyRuby says:

                Went and had a gawk. Okay, was going to the TAB tent in Forrest Place to hand in the token from Teh Worst for a mystery punt… There is so much worstness going on there, but I’ll spare you the anti-gambling /state of contemporary Perth newspapers diatribe(s).

                Apparently these displaced Freo naturals “support the 99%”.

                Hmm.

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              • valerie woodruffe fertilising says:

                RubyRed, A carnation placed in the barrel of a gun is a sure sign of a pederast. Now can anyone tell me why weren’t all the CHOGM-ites given a green carnation?

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    • WAtching says:

      Gaa! But not a spork to be seen!

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  11. Bento says:

    Pleased also to note the first pic is consistent with TWOP protocol – get the backdoor shot first, and the rest sorts itself out.

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  12. rottobloggo says:

    Oh dear: TLA getting Facebook bucketing…

    “ah, nothing like a bit of activist bashing to make you feel more secure in your complacent apathy.”

    Like

  13. B.T. says:

    Sigh, If they had only asked… I’d have contributed some of my 1% toward a better piece of cardboard.

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  14. Pete says:

    Re-distribution of resources hey, well, my lime tree could do with some iron to pep it up. Perhaps some of the Pilbara could be re-distributed to my backyard. Seems equitable.

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  15. WarriorTom says:

    What do you call some wanker in orange safety gear who spends half his life in the entirely heterosexual pursuit of watching hardcore porn with fifty other blokes on some mine-site in the Pilbara while receiving an unjustifiably huge paypacket for it, the proceeds of which he will blow on a souped up HSV Clubsport with dumbarse personalised rego plates and Balinese hookers? A “cubbyhole”.

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  16. eight demerit points for queen and country! says:

    As any public servant Trotskyite will tell you, being a Worker is not about purveying the new middle class fashion polit-etiquette slavishly promoted by the forces of Worst here on this very website. Rice milk, crumpled cardboard and poor spelling, poor colour coordination, well that’s the Workers. Some of you metrosexual nerds vomiting up their distaste here have never even heard of punk, either. Oh look they haven’t ironed their jeans, how politically incorrect. Some of you Worst cunts are worse than the police.

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    • I heard of punk. It’s played.

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      • eight demerit points for queen and country! says:

        Ah yes the preference for the pure form of the aesthetic, once again betraying Worst’s californian prog rock assumptions.

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        • Ironing jeans. Also played. Prog rock? They still have that at the Wellness Centre? How shocking.
          ” Rice milk, crumpled cardboard and poor spelling, poor colour coordination, well that’s the Workers.” What cobblers. All those are admissions of defeat, admissions that they don’t have it and never will. The taste of rice milk is the taste of politely obeying the police when they tell you to fuck off. – And you do without a murmur. It’s all basically saying, “We are going to take it. Ask us how.” It’s about parking restrictions at The Freedom Centre. Let the rice milkers face off against the soy faction. Why not?

          Like

        • skink says:

          I can play ‘Pretty Vacant’ on the guitar
          also ‘Boredom’ by the Buzzcocks,

          that’s the first time I’ve seen ‘worker’ and ‘public servant’ in the same sentence

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        • shazza says:

          Assumptions you say?

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      • Snuff says:

        Jesus wept, TLA. This thread’s turned out as pathetic as the protest. London to a brick half these tools weren’t even born in ’77.

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    • Yeast Coast says:

      Most punk is vomit – that was the whole point as far as I’m aware. It’s probably a bit harsh to bust people for not appreciating the debt that non-pop owes to punk. So I can only assume the point you are getting at is that if Occupy based its actions upon achieving a potent impact-factor like the simultaneously nihilistic/idealistic original punk scene, they’d get a whole lot further than they have so far. If so, I agree.
      The tentacles of corporatisation reach into music, as I’m sure you and anyone with a real passion for quality music realises. While I laugh at those who buy Guy Sebastian CDs off the counter with their litre of Skim at the servo, or at those who use the power of Foxtel to record Glee and Idol on series repeat, I still don’t head down to the Annandale or the Lansdowne regularly to listen to the brand of music I support. Why? Similar reasons to the Wellness Centre set-up. It’s a sad, busted-arse scene and most of the action is elsewhere anyway (for Sydney-siders, the “Jagermeister Entrance” to the Annandale speaks volumes).
      It’s not enough just to turn up, or even to organise the venue. You’ve got to have a clear point of view, and be able to express it. That’s where momentum comes from. So “eight demerit points for queen and country!”, perhaps we will in retrospect owe a ricey, hommus-like debt to the Occupiers. But personally I don’t hear the rallying cry of the driven, I hear the wet fart of the fed-up and powerless. Who’s really prepared to fuck themselves up and get dirty for the cause? Not the Occupiers, at least not yet, not in the spirit of punk. Pure punk imploded, to quote someone else, as a caricature of itself. The Wellness Centre projects a caricature of half-baked lower-middle-class protest. Bollocks these are the ‘workers’ – real workers don’t have the time, until there’s no work and no food.
      If they want redistribution of wealth and resources, they should study economics and spread the argument that unlimited growth is an antiquated illusion that served us well, until over-population and hundreds of years of scientific endeavour piled up to provide the insight which exposed our unsustainable consumption of the natural world.
      If they want conservation of the environment, they should study science and talk to their friends about the fallacy of focusing on carbon-dioxide emissions as a means to limiting environmental degradation, how it’s the equivalent of repainting your caravan in the path of a tornado.
      If they want participatory democracy, they should study politics and convince people not to watch sound-bite news, and that if the majority of the voting population and political candidates spend zero time debating actual political philosophies, the result is an homogenous, ineffective mentality.
      Blah.
      Incidentally, Pink Flag, Marque Moon and Unknown Pleasures are more my style – post-punkesque perhaps, but then I am a child of grunge. I’m still working my way through the punk catalogue though, along with the last 50 years of rock. It’s taking time, commitment and focus, just like any worthwhile education. My protestations against pop and televised karaoke could one day actually hold some real weight.

      Like

  17. Philip Arbon says:

    The funniest part for me was a couple of women screaming at a man that was wearing one of those maccas shirts (has womans legs spread (not rude or anything) and says I’m loving it!)

    They actually have an issue, with a man, wanting vagina.. No wonder it was so ridiculous here!

    “Rice milk. Rice milk people! You are occupying Perth with fucking rice milk.” I love this!

    Like

  18. Philip Arbon says:

    I suggest removing my dodgy comment :D

    Like

  19. poor lisa says:

    Kudos TLA, classic thread.

    Like

  20. jana.mack says:

    TL;DR

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  21. karen says:

    Over chogm, I would’ve thought that THIS would have been the (one of the many politically related) worsts of perth:

    The protestors are fighting for the betterment of society.

    Like

  22. Hahahahaha!

    “OCCUPY Melbourne protesters have moved into the city’s Treasury Gardens.

    “The small gathering was peaceful this morning, with people laying in the sun behind slogans including “You are the 99 per cent”.

    “The scene is in stark contrast to protests in the city’s central business district about a fortnight ago when almost 100 demonstrators were arrested after clashing with police.

    “The Occupy Melbourne movement was handing out flyers today, promoting a “peaceful sight-seeing march” through the city on Saturday, beginning at City Square at 3pm (AEDT).”

    http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/breaking-news/occupy-melbourne-protest-group-in-treasury-gardens/story-e6frg12u-1226184328012

    Like

  23. Surely anyone who successfully occupies Perth is welcome to keep it…?

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  24. Pingback: Rice-Milk Kool-aid | The Worst of Perth

  25. And i would definetly support a miming tax.

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    • Ruby Ruby says:

      Where do I sign up for this one?

      If they earn beneath a certain amount in a day, can they pay in some other method? Community service? Imperial measures of flesh?

      Like

    • Bento says:

      Do those stupid fucking human statues count as mime? Either way, I fucking hate those cunts. The Smiths should be relieved there are at least 2 statues in Perth worse than anything they will ever produce.

      Like

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