Former display home on Benara Rd. An exquisitely classic Perth Worst by Orbea. I prefer it now to what it would have looked like when new. I love it. If I owned it, this is exactly how I’d want it. 
Worst Talk
Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… AHC McDonald on The Montegiallo School of… Anonymous on The Montegiallo School of… Anonymous on The Knock Shop of Broken … Anonymous on The Knock Shop of Broken … 
The Definitive Ranki… on Kalamunda, Australia’s u… AHC McDonald on The Montegiallo School of… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Mr Fist Anonymous on The Montegiallo School of… Blood on Review: “The Montegiallo Schoo… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Online Now
The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
There’s a certain Opa Locka “Day of the Locust” mock-apocalyptic grandeur to this house.
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Stony guardians
Defended blasted demesne
Now rest in pieces
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Nice, NF#1…
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Just need to relocate next doors Cocos smack bang into the middle of the yard.
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Sublime, or as DFOC might say, Ballardian.
p.s. How cool is that Ballardosphere tag cloud ?
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Tag cloud.
Bordering inutile idiocy.
Insubstantial eye candy.
Totally effete.
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Gay comparisons are odious.
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effete |ɪˈfiːt|
adjective
(of a person) affected, overrefined, and ineffectual.
Where do you obtain:
“Lighthearted and carefree : Nan had a gay disposition and a very pretty face.
• characterized by cheerfulness or pleasure : we had a gay old time.
• brightly colored; showy; brilliant : a gay profusion of purple and pink sweet peas.”
from that?
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Wuh-oh, teh Grammar Hammer! Sadly more Snorr than Thorr
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Is there anything more tedious than complaining about not being able to use the word ‘gay’ to mean ‘happy’ any more? Has anyone, other than Enid Blyton (or Rolly, apparently), used ‘gay’ to mean ‘happy’ in the last 100 years?
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I think more tedious are the plonkers who whine about Halloween being an invasion of American culture as if they were prevented doing something Australian that day. Those cunts really shit me. The venn diagram of them and gay naysayers would heavily overlap
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And in the median sector, people who ‘started out with nothing and had to build up everything they have today with (their) own two hands’.
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Stop blaming us for everything. We didn’t invent halloween. We just stole the idea from the English and made it better.
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Rolly’s going for triple irony gold.
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Way cool.
Why doesn’t TLA have one of them??
Snuff, what would a Ballard novel of today’s Worst be called?
The Vibrant Lion?
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http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/wp-cumulus/installation/
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Thanks, Bill, although given TLA’s vaunted laziness, I doubt we can look forward to a virtual revolving restaurant of worst.
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I’m in wordpress .com not org so icant use plugins. Doing this off the phone I don’t know what it does. What is it?
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Just a dynamic tag cloud. No biggie.
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A thing.
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Jeeezzzus Smith , with all the money he’s making from this Internet dodge he can’t afford .orgy ?,
or even hosted by Curtin ? theworstofperth.curtin.edu.au , Now that’s got a ring to it.
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Suggestion:
It would be wonderful to have a “Basic Perth Glossary” for international visitors. First suggested definition: “registered lawn.”
Question: what is the Australian term for what we in the US call a “historic district” (i.e., neighbourhood of significant architecture protected by local, state or federal zoning)? I think I tripped over the piece of news that Perth has 13,000 heritage buildings, but have been unable to confirm this.
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Registered lawn is the strip between front fence and road which is not your property but you may be able to register it with the council to make it sort of part of your garden. Mainly this means telling people who want to park there to fuck off. The joke is that these lawns are generally strips of barren sand but owners will still stop you parking there.
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Exhibit A.
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I actually thought it was some Tucson-Arizona-like rule about registering your lawn so you used only so-and-so much water on it or had such-and-such a percentage of native plants (which they actually do in Tucson).
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It would probably be called a heritage zone however Perth hasn’t got enough good old buildings left to constitute a “zone” as such. That’s the problem. Fremantle would be the closest to what you mean. It’s also full of cunts which may be a natural result of the creation of such a zone.
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Thanks!
FYI, I Google-searched “Heritage area,” Perth, and found a website run by an Australian airline ticket agency with a list of “things to do in Perth.” The first suggestion was that visitors travel 525 miles away from the place to visit the Monkey Mia Resort and pet some dolphins.
“Visit Fremantle, the place right next to the CBD,” clocked in at number 6, after other suggested destinations: Karijani (a mere 900 miles away); the Wildflower Region (370 miles); The Goldfields (“East of Perth,” where one can evidently “tour the Super Pit”); and the Margaret River Valley (“Southwest of Perth”).
Come to exciting New York City and tour our many attractions! Niagara Falls, Cape Cod, the Adirondack Mountains and Baltimore!
The description of Fremantle deserves to be given in full:
“Despite having been absorbed into Perth’s urban sprawl, Fremantle, popularly known as ‘Freo’, retains its own strong identity and is a popular destination for day-trippers from Perth. Its harbour was built in 1903 by CY O’Connor, who also constructed the Goldfields pipeline before killing himself on a beach near Fremantle. A bronze statue in CY O’Connor’s honour stands in front of the Fremantle Port Authority. The harbour has been substantially revamped in recent years and is now filled with outdoor bars and restaurants and has a laid-back, arty character. In 1987 the port was the site of Australia’s unsuccessful defence of the America’s Cup yachting trophy.”
Well, ho, shit, fuck, that’s my bags packed.
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I have toured the superpit.
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I thought I had too. We call it “Camden, New Jersey.”
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Hey, I live in Freo Bartender. Best lifestyle in Perth.
Cue inner city cunts…
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Of course they’re not all cunts bartender but there is mime artist to resident ratio of 1 to 3.
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Perhaps you caught the emetic attempt to lure Oprah reported here? Can someone link. Can’t find on phone. But really Perth seems to think it should be a tourist destination but in reality there’s nothing for a tourist that’s not at least 3 hours drive away. Driving all day to feed dolphins the most moronic example.
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Here and here are two related links, TLA.
More importantly, apparently one , ahem, lucky member of her tour
group will now visit Perth. Some great comments. Apparently the lucky person should visit Esperance, the Kimberley and Coral Bay while they’re in Perth.
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If I wanted to get up close to dolphins, I’d open up a can of tuna.
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I can’t really understand why, if Oprah is not in your immediate vicinity, that this should be identified as a flaw in need of correction.
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Not that I’m suggesting that the places listed aren’t great, BTW (although I personally would probably skip the Superpit).
It just seems strange that the place 5 minutes away is last on the list.
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lazy, ya gotta look up, past the crap contemporary street level facades, when you will discover that the city and northbridge actually do have many, many fine old buildings that haven’t yet been demolished.
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I do like the William street restorations.
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yes, so do i.
shame the city of perth haven’t done the same for the other side of william street.
perhaps you could have a word next time you’re taking tea with she-ra?
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Just talking about talking to She Ra but in an educational context.
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she-ra and educational in the same sentence – not something i ever thought i’d read.
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Easier than imagining Max Kay and educational.
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I’ll bet she could teach me a thing or two.
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Reckon so.
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a heritage precinct or heritage protection area
for example, mt lawley and inglewood have declared heritage protection areas within which development is fairly tightly controlled.
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Tightly controlled in a manner to ensure crappiness.
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To ensure any new building is in faux heritage style.
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actually not tla, controlled to try and prevent the worst of the crappiness.
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I think the exact opposite is the reality. What has been the aim of this control? Surely this isn’t how they meant it to be?
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That’s the aim, but not the outcome.
Have a look at some of the great modern places that are going up in the Vincent bits of Mt Lawley, which are of complementary scale and bulk to the old places, but contemporary design. Then compare it with the rubbish finial and gable shit that is going up in the Stirling sections with the ‘character guidelines’.
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Agreed, Bento.
One thing worse than crap modern design is far, far crappier not-quite reproductions of old styles…fields—especially greenfield developments in outer suburbia—are full their kind. Faux-Federation. Faux-Georgian. Faux-Art Deco. And the worst of all, Faux-Tuscan. All looking nothing like the donor designs while complete with unnecessary decoration, yet lacking the craftsmanship, detail and subtlety of the original examples, never minding that most of them are wholly unsuited to Perth’s sunny, dry and windy climate.
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I think this is the unfortunate result of such laws in the US, Europe and elsewhere as well. Well-intentioned timidity meats opportunistic drivel. Result = pan-warmed “heritage” with a side order of fug.
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Much if Mt Lawley and Inglewood are designated as heritage areas by the local government. Some of the houses there are as much as 50 years old.
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I assume you have nothing against mid-century 20th century architecture: I’d be very happy to have numerous such districts in the US landmarked.
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“Fire-prone neighbourhood”.
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particularly if they are hotels.
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Or if DFOC has a grievance.
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or both.
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The State Register of Heritage Places database cites 1,300+ , BSwaM.
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heritage precinct.
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Hmm. Not sure what’s worse: either the render applied to what were, most likely, dark coloured bricks, possibly clinkers, or the cement roof tiles with fading colour coat, which will doubtlessly look even cruddier once a roof restoration—especially the one by xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx in their advertising—has been applied, for like a hair restoration job on chrome-domes, they never quite look right or natural.
Which is why I prefer lighter clays or light coloured zincalume on a roof. Or a naturally full head of hair upon my scalp (or if bald-nuttedness should befall me, closely cropped or shaven).
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You know the old real estate adage – worst house on the best street. On Benara Road I’m not prepared to make the call on this dump. Does look Waterwise though.
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So Gary Shannon got the arse. Bento?
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Cue Frank , apparently 96FM has been dysfunctional for a while.
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I already posted it here:
The poor dears on Perth Now are Outraged.
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I hope Gary can join Jenny Satan on Curtin FM. Btw The Bedford Crackpot was interviewed by La Satan last week. True story.
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A fitting end to the little fitter.
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an people will ask you : where were you when Shannon got the sack.
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You have contacts at Curtin FM – get that interview off the logger and post the damn thing :-)
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The Bedford Crackpots talking about Community gardens so I don’t know. La Satan was a little disturbed that he was growing tobacco.
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@Russell Woolf’s Lovechild:
waterwise is all I want of my neighbours.
If could clone this place I’d line my street.
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My sediments exactly, Water Corp is well and truly sick of me
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gone
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All those statues are very strange and that is the 2nd image a waterfall?
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