Men, do you ever find yourself feeling just a little too heterosexual? Are you losing touch with your inner Elton John? In that case a perspex grand piano is for you. It is available for free if you’ll pick it up from North Perth. It used to be the piano for Mulberry Farm reception centre, and so you may shudder with revulsion at the thought of how much Billy Joel has been played on it. (I’m betting there are readers who have tied the knot to its sounds). It does need some work, but could be restored to (albeit effeminate) glory. In any case it would also make a fantastic esky if filled with ice. I’m suggesting setting fire to it while playing The Piano Man and posting the event on youtube. I’m sure those planks of perspex would send a plume of toxic smoke a mile high. At the bottom is how it would look restored. It does have all the pieces and disassembles to some extent. if you are interested, email me (firstname.lastname@example.org ) and I’ll pass your details on. Remember, no tyre kickers. Perhaps I should have offered it as some kind of prize?
Breaking worst news. It’s been taken!