The love that dare not bark its name

WAtching saw this in Willagee. Is it Michael Jackson again or is it closer to THIS?

And I forgot to post this worst from Outrage.  See 1:32 in.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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253 Responses to The love that dare not bark its name

  1. monkeypants says:

    Outrage – Lookin’ Fine!

    What is it with people and their animals? http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1888304,00.html

    Like

  2. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    You’ll like these MP:

    http://www.globepequot.com/globepequot/index.cfm?fuseaction=customer.product&product_code=1-59921-045-2&category_code=

    http://petastro.com/dogpreview.aspx

    And yet I fear that the close-up of the girl/dog action might distract from both the mangy cat and the shopping trolley filled with suspiciously rubbishy looking shopping.

    As for the Penguin promo – unbelievable. Not sure what the 1.32 in reference indicates, unless the use of the word “cums” at around 1.35. It is as though Penguin is acknowledging how little this phenomenally popular series of books needs advertising by settling on such an extraordinarily inept promo. The Ken Nordine track is utterly superfluous – yes, we get that they’re orange, but what does that have to do with anything else in the song?

    Pfortner – I suggest a counter Facebook group along the lines of “I Hate Popular Penguins (and Their Readership)”.

    Like

    • Bento says:

      The 1:32 reference is more about the visual than the audio. The books can’t be all bad – they obviously got the hyperliterate stamp of approval.

      Like

    • WAtching says:

      Here’s a photo which reveals some more of the contents of the shopping trolley…

      I really should’ve taken a shot of the whole thing, but I was a little distracted by the doggie love.

      Like

    • monkeypants says:

      NF1 – thankyou for thinking of me. Perhaps i could introduce “Canine Consciousness and Total Well-Being” as a new arm at my wellness centre –

      The doggy horoscopes are fabulous! I can see a whole other business forming – kaching, kaching….

      Like

    • Pfortner says:

      I’m on it NF. I really do hate them and their readership too. Please note T-Winty gets his on PP (around 1:50 – incidentally, the only Winton I’ll defend as readable). But back to the Popular Penguins for a second. Why are they so affordable? Is it some sort of literature for the masses thing? Or is it a sense of guilt around charging full price for what is public domain/Gutenberg material, by and large? NO! NO I SAY! It’s because a house without books looks empty! It’s because that seven-tiered IKEA masterwerk that brings your lounge/study suite to life in a rhapsody of cedar-tinted pine DEMANDS to be filled! And it can only take so many twig vases and bobble-head Che Guevaras (these exist by the way)! ONLY the soothing, matte orange of THE LITERARY CANON can take away those empty-shelf blues! That’s right! Your ‘Manual of the Warrior of Light’ ain’t gonna cut it! Your ‘Eat Pray Love’ is just chewing up the scenery! GET REAL! GET HIP! GET ORANGE! Read ’em on the street! Read ’em on the bus! Stick your twirly-fringed, pencil-sketched nose right in there! Lap it up you style vulture you! Yeah Yeah Yeah! Northanger Abbey? The Prophet? Treasure Island? WHO GIVES A RAT’S ASS!? At the very least you’ve bought $10 worth of breathing space from Hunter S Fucking Thompson!

      Incidentally, this

      Like

      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        As you would imagine Pfort, it would be hard to rub my face any further into the PP merchandising turd mountain.

        One of the PP Facebook members exclaims: “Ah! Popular Penguins is love! I bought Persuasion the other day! It’s great to be able to get such quality books for such a price. Love my Austen! Students eveywhere salute you Penguin. Especialy the literature students. Haha”.

        Stupid cunt. Austen titles in have been available in the Penguin Classics series at PP comparable prices for decades. And the PP series often leaves out the scholarly apparatus: introduction, footnotes, etc. Just goes to show that it’s all about getting hip, at home or on the hop.

        Like

        • Pfortner says:

          let’s troll the fuckers

          Like

          • Pfortner says:

            actually I can’t bring myself to join :( it’s too vile

            Like

            • Natalia Fan #1 says:

              And let’s not get started on the so-called Penguin Cloth Classics, with their faux Art-Nouveau covers drenched in Frankie readers’ drool.

              What’s the word for this kind of credulous consumerism? Simpering and slavish both come to mind.

              Like

          • Pfortner says:

            Sorry TLA, I think we’re about to derail here with some verbatim quoting from the fascinating grotesquerie of the Popular Penguins fan page.

            Here’s a few good ‘uns-

            :cB ‘Its awesome, now my Tim Winton, Isobelle Carmody, Andy Warhol, Raymond Chandler, Dostoyevsky and Sartre can match… such a great collection here.’

            :c) ‘I sighed and I moaned – just as it should be.’

            :o} ‘Especially loving… Leunig’s poems…and your ecletic selection of little known but powerful titles: Primo Levi’s Periodic Table, Ibsen, The Prophet, MORE Ruth … See MorePark, loads of philosophy. Penguin you have truly made great literature and ideas accessible cheaply and hand-picked forgotten classics, out-of-print or hidden gems to the us who would probably never heard of them let alone ponder and be inspired by the prose, poetry, ideas and values and great works that may have otherwise been forgotten. And by extension making reading fun and popular again.’ Why don’t you marry Penguin if you love it so much.

            |C) ‘What a great anniversary gift to us the readers! I love the old penguin books too, they smell wonderful.’

            :0P ‘the video is abit much.’

            >o} ‘I am so excited to see that people are reading,books!!!YUM’

            [:c| ‘…Then I have a ’73 print of ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ to start.’ – oh but you must’ve only just finished that Vonnegut eh boy? Wot a bore

            :-( ‘That guy even looks like Ginsberg.’

            Like

          • Pfortner says:

            Ok just one more.

            :c* ‘je t’aime popular penguins ♥’
            Je te lol@

            :>) ‘Any hints on the new titles, and are they still gonna be orange?’

            8CP ‘ Hey PP, Just an idea – the website is great but as a new collector I could really use an app that could help me keep track of which titles I have and which I don’t have. It would be useful for my facebook friends who want to buy me birthday presents too! In the meantime I’m off to update my spreadsheet with my latest purchases…’ -you can’t make this stuff up

            B^D ‘Pride and Prejudice for the win.’

            here we go, classic
            ‘does anyone know where i can find/buy a ‘a clock work orange’ penguin mug? have searched everywhere in melbourne, and cant seem to find any..’

            :c> ‘I’d take my pick of the Popular Penguins to peruse on public transport, painlessly passing travel time, whilst pursuing a pleasant and pleasurable pastime!’ pathetic

            #;) ‘haaa I got a bag. and a mug. and lots of books.’

            and one for you NF

            My daughter some years ago wrote a sequel to hanging rock,its the best I ever read and she was only 17 but wrote it in Joans style!It should be printed..and she is a photographer.. http://www.luvnjoynlife.com
            go on have a look!

            Like

    • Pfortner says:

      the cat’s what got me. Looks like he’s concealing something with that hind leg

      Like

  3. Michael says:

    Those books are shit. Not even the fact that they are some of the best stories ever written can save them from the fact that they are of such fucking horrible quality that you can’t read them through, because they start falling apart at about the halfway mark.

    They are a triumph, however, for all the fuckwits and wankers that populate the world of marketing and advertising (that is to say, everyone involved in that field). Well done, you are ruining the world one step at a time.

    Like

    • ronggly says:

      Have another beer, Mike.

      Like

      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        ronggly – Should we presume that you were one of the enlightened readers who put up your a hand to take part in this cretinous “you the readers” campaign?

        From http://www.facebook.com/PopularPenguins, Feb 25:

        “We are really looking forward to meeting our friends in Perth at the new 75 photo shoot tonight…. Click here to find out how you could be part of our campaign to unveil these new titles”.

        Like

        • ronggly says:

          Moi ?
          The Big Sleep is the only one there that floats my boat:
          “From thirty feet away she looked like a lot of class. From ten feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from thirty feet away.”

          Like

  4. poor lisa says:

    Eh. well they’re horrible quality because they cost $10.

    Why does it go on for 3 minutes? It’s torture.

    And I just realised the shopping trolley is painted on! not a feature of the Geescape….

    Like

  5. Shreiking Wombat says:

    Oh the memories. They just come flooding back:

    https://theworstofperth.com/essence/

    We’ll always have Paris.

    Like

  6. Shreiking Wombat says:

    On second thoughts, that should have read:

    “We’ll always have Willagee.”

    Like

  7. Kwality says:

    Off topic: did the tree man get down last night, or did he get pelted with hail? Or did the hail not get out his way?

    Like

  8. Ljuke says:

    I think the Popular Penguins are great.

    Like

    • Pfortner says:

      That’s the Pantone 205 talking

      Like

    • CB One says:

      Books are dead. Blogs are where the real intelligentsia hang out getting frothy at the mouth about less intelligent people enjoying books.

      Like

    • poor lisa says:

      Me too. I’m a bit taken aback by the virulence of the attack on a cheap range of books. Surely pfort should keep his powder dry for the winton one.
      So they look a bit stylish and some people might buy them as accessories (they do that because it’s a 20th century design classic), and say wanky things about them on facebook. So what.

      Yes Jane Austen, Tolstoy, Melville etc you should get the proper Penguin Classics edition with introduction and footnotes and so on, and yes they’re also cheap; but if you want to read things that you used to only find 2nd hand (eg In Cold Blood, Cold Comfort Farm, erm you know not quite classic literature but great reads) in the original crumbling orange penguin edition with an imperial price printed on it (a dusty smelly 2nd hand paperback from 1966: now that’s unpleasant to read) then the reissued oranges are fucking great. Thanks DFOC for promoting them to the masses. Sales will soar!

      Like

      • Shreiking Wombat says:

        You were expecting nuance?

        Like

        • Natalia Fan #1 says:

          Virulence, nuance,
          Who says contradictory?
          Orange penguin cunt

          Like

          • Pfortner says:

            Liber populum
            Exoteric mind eclipse
            Abject consumption

            Like

            • Pfortner says:

              Triumph of the shill
              Literary household goods
              Stake your claim today

              Like

              • Natalia Fan #1 says:

                Nabokov, Updike
                Always dreamed their works reduced
                To ten bucks a piece

                Like

                • poor lisa says:

                  Yes I’m taking this seriously because it’s something I care about.
                  First, they’re both dead. Second, being arrogant guys with huge egos and a wish for immortality they both would’ve dreamed of still being bought after their deaths. Third, they’re both available for free in any library, so why should they not be available for ten bucks for someone to keep on their Ikea shelves (which are very good shelves, which is why they’re popular).

                  Just trying to fathom what on earth is offensive about good books being cheap and accessible. The more people who have good books in their houses and not just 5 plasma screens the better. It doesn’t matter where they got them, why they got them, or how much they paid, or if they keep them on an Ikea shelf (good cheap design for the masses? Ugh how worst). It doesn’t even matter if they read them or not. Their kids might read them or something. If not why do you care?

                  Like

                  • Mez says:

                    good rant

                    Like

                  • vegan says:

                    what she said.

                    plus the penguin mugs in the ikea kitchen.

                    Like

                  • Pfortner says:

                    See haiku, which are far more succinct than this reply. It absolutely does matter if they read them or not. If read, then whoopee, a range of good cheap books. No problem. If not then we have a range of cheap decorations whose chief appeal is the cachet of literature. It’s an erroneous conflation of style with substance. What I see in the promo vid and also on the PP fan page and in general in the real world is a lot of conspicuous consumption. A bunch of trendies (no offence DFOC, and of course with the obligatory Ma & Pa Woodstock thrown in) posing (geddit posing) with a bunch of titles. It’s about accessorising. Take the flossy-haired douche with ‘Hound of the Baskervilles’ in his jacket pocket. Personally I think he’s got the wrong book, personally I think they should ALL be sporting ‘On the Road’, but you get the idea. It’s flash. It’s *ugh* bling.
                    Look there is a bit of personal prejudice coming through, to be fair. I despise design fetishists in all their myriad forms. But there is just something about PPs – it’s as if these people REQUIRE a fashionable design in order to read a book. Which is so completely fucking shallow, it’s an insult to the text itself.

                    Like

    • Bento says:

      Blimey – and I thought *I* was a sneering cultural elitist.

      Can someone explain to me what’s wrong with making good books cheap and accessible, for those people not inclined to trawl the second-hand bookstores or pay $30 for a paperback? You lot are like the NME letters page.

      I must confess to owning a few orange books, and I’m even so gauche as to have been delighted with the Wuthering Heights coffee mug Mrs Bento bought me for Christmas. Not only that, but we also put our books on (for shame!) an Ikea bookshelf.

      TLA – it appears I may have to resign my TWOP Elite status, and sign over the Certificate of Title for my ivory dildo. It was good while it lasted.

      Like

  9. Shreiking Wombat says:

    Look this is simply not good enough. There have been no posts here for well over 2.5 hours. What is wrong with you useless Worstest cuntlings?

    Have you been eaten by bears?

    Like

  10. David Cohen says:

    Eye of perfect storm
    Shreds online stunts today, so
    Time to sweep stories.

    Like

  11. Shreiking Wombat says:

    Haikus are a cuntenning scam.

    Like

  12. skink says:

    civilization:
    disregard its discontents,
    kiss its malcontents

    Like

  13. David Cohen says:

    Forget it, poor lisa.

    The barbarians are at the gate.

    I salute you and look forward to poring over a queer rectangular thing with you on the weekend under a freeway and safely out of sight of the Philistines.

    Like

    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      On the Road?

      Like

    • shazza says:

      Will the Ikea bookshelf be supplied, or should we bring our own?

      Like

    • Bento says:

      Oooh, and we can drink lattes from our incorrectly commodified culture debasers (street name: ‘coffee mugs’).

      Like

      • WAtching says:

        Fucking Hell.

        I go to work and all is well- and return home to a virtual Schism.

        I think Rbl might be using Kung Fu Rugby Voodoo.

        Like

        • poor lisa says:

          Well nobody’s dared TLA to step in and look after them then stomped off for a few days only to return and start it all over again. This is a civilised discussion about culture not a schism

          Like

          • Natalia Fan #1 says:

            “them”?

            Who would have thought that silly old books could be so divisive?

            Like

          • That was no attack on you PL.

            I like it, it’s spirited, but I choose not to play.

            What I would say about it is that sometimes, something that you have a soft spot for will be worsted. I think it is just the nature of the beast. As long as it remains playful it is fine.

            I was just happy no-one was too nasty when I posted a family photo.

            Like

          • WAtching says:

            That was in no way an attack on you, PL.

            I like it, it’s spirited, but, I choose not play. Every now and then, something you like, will be “worsted.” As long as it remains playful.

            I was stupid enough to post a family photo…

            Like

          • shazza says:

            Yes pl. Not one ‘get fucked cunt’ .

            Like

          • Natalia Fan #1 says:

            Now I understand. Some PeePs here are talking about culture/superstructure. Others are being base.

            Like

            • Natalia Fan #1 says:

              And when is my fucking gravatar going to update? It’s been hours since I changed it. Once it does so, I can settle in with some of my old Natalia tapes.

              Like

        • Bento says:

          No schism – this is how we hyperliterate mature adults entertain ourselves.

          Like

        • I get back from REIWA course and find things just as they should be.

          Like

          • WAtching says:

            Divided we fall.

            Like

            • Richarbl says:

              Watching, I do not understand the exact meaning of your last couple of posts but it seems you have in issue with a comment I made about a family photo or some voodoo or something?

              I am not above an apology if that is what you are seeking and yes, I am being sincere.

              Like

              • G'day from WA says:

                Well I certainly took umbrage to your comments about WAtchings mum, but I ddidn’t think he was going to bring it up again…

                Like

              • poor lisa says:

                How is it Rich that you can find something in any of the above to take umbrage at. I think your strong narcissistic seam is marbled with paranoia.

                Like

                • shazza says:

                  So I’m not the only one who had no effin idea whats going on. WAtching perhaps can explain?

                  Like

                  • rolly says:

                    ……or not?

                    Like

                  • Snuff says:

                    I could explain, shaz, but you’re right … best not for WAtching, or anyone else, to even bother.

                    Like

                    • shazza says:

                      OK, then lets talk about me.
                      I have just collected a buff jesus pamphlet from the mailbox. And note the JoHos will be holding a ‘special event’ on 30th in White Gum Valley. This happens to be Mez turf.
                      Charge up the Nikon Mezmeister. 6 pm sharp.

                      Like

                    • Pfortner says:

                      i like your style

                      Like

                    • G'day from WA says:

                      Hope St Shazza?

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      Precisely my first thought G’day. No, it’s 90-92 Edmund St.

                      Like

                    • Mez says:

                      ah, that will be their grey temple just around the corner – I’ll do me best Shaz

                      Like

                    • Mez says:

                      [SCENE] Outside the Grey Temple. Front door.

                      knock, knock

                      Buff Jesus: Hello, can I help you?

                      Mez: Hi, I was just wondering if you had a moment

                      BJ: oh… well we are in the middle of a kind of meeting thing…

                      Mez: I won’t take up much of your time, I just wanted to make you aware of some really exciting literature.

                      BJ: umm… is this some religious thing…?

                      M: Well, have you considered your religious calling lately?

                      BJ: … oh… well… you know, I have my own ummm… you know, beliefs… and stuff…

                      M: Thats great! We do too and at TWOP we are happy to take your ideas on board! If you would just give this a little read (passes URL through crack in the flyscreen) we would love to know what you think.

                      BJ: oh… ok… umm, thanks… maybe i’ll look it up tonight.

                      M: Have a couple of beers first

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      BJ: ..umm well Mez, I did log on to see this TWoP site you suggested. After a few altar wines. And, well..it’s rather naughty in parts isn’t it?

                      Mez: Yes, bj I suppose that’s true. You do understand it’s all in good humour?

                      BJ: Yes I got that. Though dad’s pretty cross about it all. He thought the ‘Jesus died for youse cunts’ comment was taking things a bit far. Anyway I hate to be a wowser, but I don’t think TWoP is for me and mine.

                      Mez: Fair enough BJ. It’s not to everyones taste. Thanks for taking the time to peruse. And while Iv’e got you here can I put in a quick request?

                      BJ: I’m jesus, the son of god Mez, not a fucking wish granting fairy.

                      Mez: Right you are. Take care.

                      Like

                    • Bento says:

                      Now drop and give me 20!

                      Like

                    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

                      But Jeshurun grew fat, and kicked; you grew fat, stout, and sleek; then he forsook God who made him and scoffed at the Rock of his salvation.
                      (Deut 32:15)

                      Like

                    • Mez says:

                      knock, knock

                      Buff Jesus: oh, you again

                      Mez: yeah, was just wondering if I could take a photo?

                      BJ: um…. ok….. you’re not going put it on a blog are you?

                      M: No… trust me

                      click

                      Like

                    • Bento says:

                      God: I am omniscient you know, you smug cunts.

                      Like

                    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

                      Can’t help but feel that the JWs are putting the cart before the ox here, “for while physical training is of some value, godliness is valuable in every way” (1 Tim 4:8)

                      Like

                    • Snuff says:

                      Lovely work, youse. All I can add is this old favourite.

                      Like

          • Bento says:

            Seriously – have you blocked my emails? Several attempts at sending pics of GIANT NORKS have bounced. Get your house in order man.

            Like

      • vegan says:

        i’ll have a green tea thanks bento.

        Like

    • WAtching says:

      Don’t sound so cowed comrade.

      Use that hyper- literacy and roar.

      Malcontents indeed

      Like

  14. Dom says:

    The mugs, pencils, notebooks, etc have nothing to do with Penguin Oz’s Popular Penguins initiative … feel free to bag the books, the campaigns, the video, their popularity but keep the merchandise out of it …

    Like

  15. Onanist says:

    It all seems perfectly natural to me – apart from the fact that the dog’s lipstick has a bandage around it.

    Like

  16. monkeypants says:

    this whole post has to be the strangest i’ve ever seen on here yet. very very bizarre.

    Like

  17. My REIWA sojourn prevented me from noticing that this had 200 plus comments.

    Like

  18. The Legend 101 says:

    The First image looks like something from France and What have i missed because iv’e been ofline for a while.

    Like

  19. The Legend 101 says:

    Who paints such rubbish? and yeah it looks like a femal Michael Jackson maybes its Michelle Jackson.

    Like

  20. The Legend 101 says:

    Talking about Bark anyone know why is there so many Jack Russels and girly little yappy dogs invading Dianella?.

    Like

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