Don’t Bogart the Octopus

Still it, goes down smooth when I get a clean hit
Of the skunky funky octopus shit
Sing my song, puff all night long
As I take occy Hits from the bong…

(Cypress Hill – Hits from a blue-ring)

Another extraordinary seafood calamity from Stuart Simpson & Claire Mueller who were confronted with this horrifying sight at a bus stop in Mt Lawley.  Why is there an ant covered octopus waiting for the number 21 on Beaufort Street? Is it something to do with Cthulu? No-one should have to see this. Now we can add octopus to the street crabs and Black sambuca. Oh, there was this downed food item too. When we get enough ingredients, maybe there should be a recipe book?


About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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25 Responses to Don’t Bogart the Octopus

  1. David Cohen says:

    We’re getting close already: this recipe could be modified into a sort of seafood sambuca gumbo:

    Perhaps include a cast-iron stomach along with the cast-iron wok?


  2. Cookster says:

    Cohen, you drop your stash on the way home? Have a little taste of some fresh herring before you caught the number 8 back to Guilford and lost the plot?

    Reminds me of my post from last year about octopus porn – I’ll have to dig out the link… nasty seafood porn, or high art? All I know is the Herald Sun likened this particular painting and the subsequent bomb threats to the Piss Christ affair.


  3. David Cohen says:

    Cookie. They will pry my last occy from my COLD DEAD HANDS.

    I hope Stu and Claire picked this up, took it home, rinsed off the formic acid and prepared for a big weekend…


  4. Cookster says:

    Check the size of the head on that fucker, man!


  5. Ljuke says:

    Bus #21, all stops to R’lyeh.


  6. Bento says:

    A days-old dead octopus covered in ants still wouldn’t have been the stinkiest creature on the #21, in my experience.


  7. Lesley Dewar says:

    Maybe it was left there by a seal that realised that the #21 doesn’t go to the Leighton groyne


  8. Fearless wretch
    He watches
    Lurking beneath the sea
    Great old one
    Forbidden site
    He searches
    Hunter of the shadows is rising
    In madness you dwell


  9. Bento says:

    I note the #21 passes the Walrus Wrangler, also. Coincidence?


  10. Rolly says:


    I suggest that you discuss this matter with your trick cyclist.


  11. Cookster says:

    Rolly doesn’t venture near the sea, he’s strictly a skunk man.

    Lesley, that seal’s only got eyes for me.

    Anyway, problem solved. I think the Beaufort Street Bloggers will be able to determine fairly quickly what slimy tank in what obscure Chinese restaurant our tentacled friend escaped from.

    You know that octopie climb out of their tanks and open jars of food in the kitchen when left overnight. And perform acts of oral sex, naturally.


  12. Groucho says:

    This is typical of those anty octopus Mt Lawleyians


  13. Chris says:

    A couple weeks ago I went to use the public toilet at Hyde Park (wouldn’t be far from this photo) and someone had left (now rotten) king prawns on the floor.

    Unhelpful to my toilet going experience.


  14. And no photo of rotting prawns in Hyde park bog? Shame.


  15. Hovean says:

    ‘You know that octopie climb out of their tanks and open jars of food in the kitchen when left overnight. And perform acts of oral sex, naturally.’
    Just another night on the herring.


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  19. The Legend 101 says:

    Er Yuck, How the hell did it get to Mt. Lawley?


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