Worst Below the Waterline

They need sex like the infantry needs alcohol. (Das Boot)

I was going to post this last week, but wanted to make sure I could acknowledge the taker of this fine picture, Stephen N. (Via Chris O). Yes it is a worst, and yet also magnificent. If anyone wants to know what is good about living in Perth, you need go no further than this picture.  Where else can 10 tanked up blokes travel semi submerged in the sunshine off superb beaches while Gaza burns, Europe freezes and Zimbabwe starves? This is not worst.  I think Stephen N should be able to flog the large version of this shot. Perhaps to Rottobloggo’s David Fucking Outrage Cohen for his study wall, or if not, then to the Police Water safety unit. The small version doesn’t do it justice. Click on picture for larger. The famous Quokka Arms Hotel, perhaps not surprisingly, is in the background. These guys all look like prime The Worst of Perth subscribers.

rottnest

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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102 Responses to Worst Below the Waterline

  1. Grrr says:

    That almost looks like Matt Price on the bow.

    Almost.

    Like

  2. rhubarb says:

    Blimey – how that pub has changed! That is *not* the pub of my memory. (shakes head).

    Like

  3. Lazy Aussie says:

    It was apparently taken new years.

    Like

  4. chriso says:

    LA – there are actuallty 11 on the boat. A small fella at the front has gone under though his mates haven’t noticed.

    Like

  5. skink says:

    has anyone been on She-Ra’s Pissweak Wheel yet?

    who can claim the honour of being the first Twopper to do a loop on the Circle of Cynicism?

    just how much fun is it to be sealed inside a Pyrex casserole dish on a 38 degree day?

    I think we need to know

    Like

  6. It’s airconditioned. But drove past it this morning, and it is pretty small.

    Like

  7. Groucho says:

    Mirror mirror on the wall who is the ferris wheel of all ?

    You are foreshore.

    Like

  8. Hughie says:

    Ha. I think I know one of the blokes on that boat… Walshy, is that you with the white singlet!?

    Like

  9. Tim says:

    hahahahaha thats my best mates! my brother is the fat guy on the right of the guy with the white singlet! ahhhh i love it!

    Like

  10. rhettmac says:

    Well done boys !

    Like

  11. Treaders says:

    Hahaha yes. Thats fukin classic

    Like

  12. KEV says:

    HAHAHA. Love it fellas!

    Proud of yous all, wish i was there

    Like

  13. damon says:

    tis me at the back there, was a top couple of weeks. bring on rotto swim!!!!!

    Like

  14. BILL says:

    worst of perth how about the guy that wrote the comment about this photo is scared of having a bit of fun. Heres an idea lets go to rotto and do something special and get a pen i got a better idea blue bird stay at fucking home cause sitting in a pen on the jetty well “THATS NOT LIVING”

    Like

  15. Welcome salty dogs to the worst of Perth. Looks like a great time was had. fantastic photo.

    Like

  16. Rolly says:

    Bill,
    How about a bit of courtesy to the readers here.
    Try capitalisation, punctuation and paragraphing as a way of improving the impact of your comments.
    Incidentally, you’ve completely missed the point of the blog entry.

    Like

  17. Punctuation Rolly? I’m thinking of givin it up.

    Like

  18. Rolly says:

    Someone told me that it was punctuality which seemed to be a problem for you 8D

    Like

  19. darren says:

    What a bunch of absolute morons. No wonder people have accidents. All of these spastics would find it hard to have a combined IQ of over 10. Its all fun and games until someone drowns!! Why don’t you all grow up.

    Like

  20. I like it. This is Australia

    Like

  21. Snuff says:

    When I grow up, darren, I want to have a high enough IQ to know that the contracted form of “it is” has an apostrophe, that one exclamation mark is sufficient, and that questions have question marks. Moran.

    Like

  22. Bento says:

    Wow. Darren sounds like a barrel of laughs.

    Like

  23. poor lisa says:

    Well Darren’s partly right, they’re absolute morons. But he’s wrong in that it’s funny.

    Like

  24. Rolly says:

    p l ,

    Funny “Ha Ha” or funny as in “Funny Farm”?

    Like

  25. darren says:

    OMG i forgot the apostrophe!, well i like 2 exclamation marks and what question did i ask???? And i assume when you say Moran at the end you mean moron?? Mate with a name like Snuff your going to find it hard to have an IQ bigger than your shoe size.

    Like

  26. Bento says:

    Who wants to get this one? Skink? Snuff? LA? DFOC?

    Like

  27. darren says:

    I cant wait, bring it dipshits.

    Like

  28. Snuff says:

    I knew you wouldn’t get it, darren, and now you’re getting even worse. You’re putting question marks (multiple) on sentences, don’t know that the contracted form of “you are” isn’t “your”, using random capitalisation, and last time I checked, “Why don’t you all grow up?” was a question.

    Hardly surprising, of course, when you type one-handed, and your name’s darren.

    Like

  29. skink says:

    is Darren the guy who was looking for naked photos of Scaffidi?

    Like

  30. Bento says:

    I’d assumed that was LA.

    Like

  31. David Cohen says:

    “Darren is a brickies labourer, which is handy with a booming property market, although women are no good to him unless he can root ’em.”
    – Why Shouldn’t I call My Son Clint?, by David Hocking.

    Like

  32. Bento, DC. I don’t know what either of you are talking about. I love the guys in the boat, but would be condemning them if they killed someone.

    Like

  33. Bento says:

    I meant I assumed it was you searching for naked pics of She-Ra.

    Like

  34. Rolly says:

    Bento,
    Wasn’t that searching for pics of a naked She-Ra?
    I’ve rarely encountered a photograph in clothes.

    Like

  35. darren says:

    Where does the name Snuff come from anyway? were your parents just cocaine addicts that decided to name you after their favorite pastime? I mean you were probably conceived when they were both of their face so its kind of appropriate don’t you think? WOW Ive used correct grammar there! Anyway Snuff your sort of boring me now, so take care and have a lovely life. Good luck with your endeavors to be the first person to impregnate a wild boar.

    Like

  36. cimbali says:

    Goodness! Darren was cross wasn’t he. I lost track of what was going on – was he one of the boat people or was he cross because they didn’t invite him?

    Like

  37. Bento says:

    Actually, your grammar was still incorrect, Daz.

    Like

  38. Rolly says:

    No, Bento,

    his Gramma should never have procreated.

    Like

  39. SkyLantern says:

    I missed seeing this when it was first posted, so thanks to Darren for putting it back on teh worst talk list. Unfortunately you’ve dug a deep hole for yourself there mate. Anyway, the photo reminds me of a recent post on another one of my favourite blogs:

    http://tsutpen.blogspot.com/2009/01/nuns-gone-wild-7.html

    Like

  40. Snuff says:

    More incorrect capitalisation, and darren still hasn’t learnt to spell “off”, put apostrophes in the contracted forms of “it is” or “I have”, and he still thinks the contracted form of “you are” is “your”.

    Now I appreciate the irony of him calling others morons whilst demonstrating repeatedly that he happens to be one himself, but I’m not particularly give to the rather unedifying spectacle of duelling with clearly unarmed opponents, and this is like shooting fish in a barrel. In keeping with our aquatic theme then, I’m throwing him back in. Too small.

    Like

  41. Paul says:

    Funny picture, Hey snuff the fact that you are up at 11.37pm on a Monday night correcting somebody’s grammar online, leads me to believe that you don’t really have a life.

    Like

  42. Snuff says:

    Indeed it is, Paul, but like darren, you’ve somehow managed to miss the point. I couldn’t give a stuff about his grammar, but I do enjoy irony. Speaking of which, didn’t you have anything better to do at 6:31 am ?

    Like

  43. poor lisa says:

    Snuff’s in another timezone aren’t you snuff?

    Darren’s gorn away, let’s forget him. He wasn’t as good as Greg.

    Like

  44. Bento says:

    But he did have an admirable respect for marine safety.

    I’m going to miss that guy.

    Like

  45. Snuff says:

    Indeed I often am, poor lisa, but that’s beside the point, which is that we may have already found an even better substitute for darren in Paul, from whom, with any luck, we might look forward to more ironic early morning contributions.

    Off topic, Bento, if there was one, are these duck’s nuts from Pikko. Enjoy.

    Like

  46. poor lisa says:

    Just using my women’s intuition, I”d say that Paul’s joshing was gentle & affectionately intended. Darren is frothing at the mouth I think.

    Like

  47. Snuff says:

    No doubt you’re right, poor lisa. Regardless, as always I defer to your better judgement. Don’t forget, however, that along with being beasts, we see everything.

    Like

  48. Bento says:

    Snuff – that is some sensational bento work.

    “… she was by far the biggest influence on my bento photography”. That is perhaps the greatest sentence I have ever heard.

    Like

  49. greg says:

    When i first saw this picture i was pissed and amazed that these people think this is funny. What about the cases on the news that involve alcohol, overcrowded cars, and finally dead teens. Do we consider that funny aswell? Be it on the water or roads accidents can happen, and people die. And its usually to the ones who say “it will never happen to me”

    Like

  50. Bento says:

    What’s with all the marine safety weirdos obsessing over this post? Is it linked to the DPI website or something?

    Mercifully, greg, the boat isn’t travelling at high speed, and I don’t see any trees or lamp-posts in the immediate vicinity, so I think they’re unlikely to join the drag racing teens in heaven any time soon.

    Like

  51. It is linked to Police Water safety website. There has been a lot of hits from fishing sites over the last couple of days, fishwrecked and bream-something.

    There surely isn’t any doubt that it’s funny.

    Like

  52. Snuff says:

    How right you were, poor lisa. You might want to explain to greg that everybody dies, hopefully in as comical a manner as possible.

    Like

  53. skink says:

    yes, it is funny.

    I just put the photograph through the ridereograph and the results confirm it.

    Like

  54. greg says:

    Marine safety weirdo? WTF! why is being obssesed with marine safety classify me as a weirdo? Yeah i am obsessed because its involved in my line of work. I have seen numerous accidents at sea involving alcohol, and some of them pretty horrific. It may seem like a harmless joyride to you, but are you saying that propellor doesn’t pose a problem when around people that drink and overcrowd boats? shit happens when you least expect it Bento. You don’t have to be going fast for an accident to happen.

    Like

  55. Bento says:

    Great, now that I’ve made some stupid comment about it not inevitably being fatal, there are going to be brazillions of Marine Safety Weirdos (TM) explaining the various ways this could end in tears.

    I vote funny too, for the record.

    Like

  56. David Cohen says:

    Come on, Bento – say it! Your public expects! Your fans await!

    Like

  57. Rolly says:

    Really it’s little more than a silly attempt to add to the overcrowding at Freo/Royal Perth hospitals’ Emergency Rooms.
    I take it that they didn’t succeed.
    Ah well! Better luck next time.

    Like

  58. Yes Bento, your catch phrase?

    Like

  59. Bento says:

    I don’t do catchphrases. I do observations.

    Ah, fuck it.

    Good riddance.

    Like

  60. Bento says:

    Garlic bread?

    Are you havin’ a laff? Is ‘e havin’ a laff?

    Do I look bovvered?

    Etc.

    Like

  61. poor lisa says:

    It’s like I invited greg. But it’s not the same greg. The greg I was thinking of is funny.
    THe marine safety brigade are not just obsessives, they are magical thinkers.
    Laughing at the picture doesn’t make it dangerous. It’s like when I comment “Fuck I wish this rain would stop” and some killjoy says “Oh but the farmers need it.” Like me wishing the rain would stop is going to stop the rain and intensify the drought. Or thinking of the farmers is going to make the rain enjoyable when it’s falling on my head in a concrete jungle.

    Like

  62. Snuff says:

    I thought so, poor lisa, especially as this “greg’s” grammar in general, and capitalisation in particular, bear such an uncanny resemblance to darren’s.

    In this “greg’s” defence, however, at least he fessed up right at the start that “When i first saw this picture i was pissed”.

    Like

  63. I’m glad this one is getting some more action. It didn’t get as many hits as it deserved when posted. But do I really have to argue that it’s funny? Alive or dead, these guys are gold. If they’d drowned it would still be funny.

    Like

  64. skink says:

    of course it is funny

    it is Darwinism in action

    even they think it is funny. see how they laugh

    it contains all our favourites: alcohol, stupidity, obesity, bogans and the possibility of catastrophe. It even has a bit of Rottnest to keep DFOC happy.

    the only things missing are a nude statue and a dog.

    Like

  65. David Cohen says:

    It’s Aussie Spirit (TM).

    These are exactly the type of lads who went the biff at Eureka, stormed up the beach at Gallipoli, stopped the Peril at Kokoda and conquered London in the 1970s.

    Except they’re fatter.

    Like

  66. Bento says:

    I think I see where they may have gone wrong at Gallipoli…

    Like

  67. I see connections with the looting of the central bank in Aqaba in 1915 by Aussie troops. Yes, fucken idiots, but it is the spirit that makes it also magnificent.

    Like

  68. Greg says:

    The guys that stormed the beach at Gallipoli were heroes, the guys in that boat are Fucktards! Put those guys on a beach being showered with lead bullets and they would shit their pants! Quite similar to what they most likely do in the middle of the night in bed, seeing as thought they act like toddlers.

    Like

  69. C’mon, the young kids at gallipoli were just the same. In the circumstances, these guys would shoot some Turk arses too. And to be able to ride in an overloaded boat tanked up off Rottnest is what they’d be fighting for. No risk.

    Like

  70. Greg says:

    Those guys would be lucky to get of their fat arses. The most exercise those dickwads would do is most likey walking to the beer fridge and back to the couch. “Storm a beach and shoot some turks” you gotta be kidding me! To compare Gallipoli heroes to these clowns is utter stupidity. You are more of a moron than they are.

    Like

  71. Greg says:

    O + B4 SM1 korex mi gramr, yep i speld likley rong

    Like

  72. Bento says:

    They clearly get exercise. My guess is they started swimming about 5 seconds after this photo was taken, for a start.

    Like

  73. Cookster says:

    Those “dickwads” as you call them Greg are proud Aussies, doing what proud Aussies do best, making arses of themselves.

    Like

  74. Snuff says:

    Still having trouble with “off”, darren ?

    Like

  75. skink says:

    whilst the Aussies are doing that,
    the young men of China are doing this:

    think on

    Like

  76. Greg says:

    Yep, they are making themsleves look like arses. You definately got that right Cookster.

    Like

  77. They’d be up that beach and shooting Turks faster than a rat up a nun’s nightie.

    Like

  78. Greg says:

    Maybe if the turks were putting the piss on! otherwise they would be still in bed, most likely dreaming of Big Macs.

    Like

  79. steve says:

    Greg: 1

    Everyone Else: well, lots, but at least Greg’s on the board now.

    Actually give Greg 2 for Fucktards. That’s gotta get the site a lot more hits.

    Like

  80. Bento says:

    More than ‘free gay porno’, ‘perth’s worst anal’, or ‘Lisa Scaffidi naked’? I don’t think so.

    Like

  81. I refuse to believe our Gallipoli heroes (the authority hating, British general baiting, irreverant humour loving, Aqaba looting, prozzie porking, gallipoli heroes) would not have loved to do this.

    Like

  82. David Cohen says:

    What if they did all drown, Bento? What would you say then??

    Like

  83. David Cohen says:

    Sorry: scrolling back, I see you already did.

    I’ve written too many stories and eaten too many corn chips. I am over-wrought and bewildered. Time for an Angry Whopper with Aussie Spirit (TM) beetroot.

    Like

  84. Rolly says:

    DFOC sed

    “…I am over-wrought and bewildered. Time for an Angry Whopper with Aussie Spirit (TM) beetroot.”

    Only to become “Tired and emotional”. (Yes! Prime Minister)

    Like

  85. Greg says:

    Gee thanks Steve! that makes me feel so loved and appreciated. You fucktard. Actually i think you are all fucktards. Me on the otherhand can be best described as a top bloke with loads of female fans that are lining up to have sexy times. I mean im that good in bed i should be a porn star. “God im such a legend” you all should wanna be like me!

    Like

  86. David Cohen says:

    Are you wearing your mankini as you type, Greg?

    Like

  87. Cookster says:

    There’s only room for one succesful porn star on TWOP Greg, so I say good day to you sir!

    Like

  88. Ljuke says:

    What’s Forkboy going to do, then?

    Like

  89. greg says:

    I sure am David! as it quite thin in the front and my large balls tend to squeeze out from the sides. Thats why i like it, i can feel sexy whilst admiring my large balls.

    Like

  90. Snuff says:

    He clearly has darren’s grammar and capitalisation, but could this herald the return of Chong, DFOC ?

    Like

  91. Bill O'Slatter says:

    With big balls like that Greg might be Chong.

    Like

  92. David Cohen says:

    Goodness me. Anything’s possible on Teh Interwebz. Deep down I like to believe she never left…

    Like

  93. According to the stats, she has never left.

    Like

  94. greg says:

    I think all you fucktard guys take after this weirdo!

    Like

  95. David Cohen says:

    “Our bodies touch, and the angels cry.”

    That’s me!

    Like

  96. Rolly says:

    “Once a body met a body drinking coke and rye,
    “Said a body to a body……….”

    Like

  97. ezrin says:

    I remember them, I was on the beach watching them go by.

    Like

  98. Kat says:

    Hahahaha that photo is hilarious! I a couple of the guys on that boat and they are always good for a funny pic – human pyramids etc.
    Overloading a rubber ducky in water that you can just about stand up in isn’t exactly the worst crime in history though is it? Think some of you might need to chillax yeah?

    Like

  99. jess says:

    yep, so these guys are all mates of mine – i think the one steering the craft is in fact my brother.

    pretty safe to say there’ll be a repeat attempt of this one over there again this new years, so have your camera’s (and fun police antics for some of you) at the ready.

    that is, if the poor outboard can handle any more submerged activity.

    rotto new years 09/10 yeeeeeeharrrrrrr!

    Like

  100. Pingback: Outrage Sunday 42 Rotto | The Worst of Perth

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