Perth Beer Fest Blows

Stu sent me this as a very worthy worst,  the shambolic Perth Beer Festival but he covers the topic in more detail on his own blog, and even spots a fashion crime outside The Queens, where he more sensibly decides to drink rather than under the brutal sunshine of the esplanade. And yes we should be able to organise a beer festival here. I was wondering myself why a beer festival would have the same beers you could buy in the pleasant atmosphere of a pub. Was there a Swan Draught tent? A Speights pavilion?  Stu says…

This has to be a contender for worst of Perth 2009 and we’re only a few days into the year. The Perth International Beer Festival.
What a joke, hour long queues to get in, half hour queues to get a beer and then find out the beer is warm because they’ve run out of cold ones 2 hours in. I’ve bitched about it a whole lot more here but fuck me this is Australia, surely we can organise a fucking beer festival.
Cheers, Stu I’m Fucking Parched As.(my new surname)

perth beer fest blows

perth beer fest blows

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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155 Responses to Perth Beer Fest Blows

  1. A commenter on Stu’s post also relates how a girl passes out just as she finally gets to the front of the warm piss queue. The yeasty humanity!
    For international Worst watchers, people here are queuing in temperatures of 36/37 degrees C (Pretty close to 100 degrees farenheit) to drink beers they could get at their own pubs.

    Like

  2. Frank Calabrese says:

    Ahh, shades of the Fremantle Sardine Festival where people would queue up and pay money for a slice of Italian bread with a tiny bit of sardine on it.

    Like

  3. David Cohen says:

    But Frank: there was no shade.

    What the?

    I thank you.

    Like

  4. Frank Calabrese says:

    For international Worst watchers, people here are queuing in temperatures of 36/37 degrees C (Pretty close to 100 degrees farenheit) to drink beers they could get at their own pubs.

    And at Pearce RAAF Airbase the Temperature is 39.8 degrees C.

    I’m pretty sure the area was fenced off because of the liquor laws which surround licenced events where a fee is charged.

    And note the event was sponsored by Bogan FN aka 96FM, the home of one G Shannon and the sister station of 6PR – sums it up really.

    Like

  5. Frank Calabrese says:

    But Frank: there was no shade.

    Bet the Cuolo Stritti were skimping on the Marquees, or that they couldn’t get any extra ones as this time of the year they’d be booked out for every event on, including Skyshow etc.

    Tip for organisers – do NOT hold such events in January, UNLESS you have enough shade and ICE to cater for the crowds and the heat.

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  6. I’m sure She-Ra would have been hoping for people to kick on to vandalise the Ferris Wheel.

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  7. Frank Calabrese says:

    And check out the Sponsors.

    http://www.beerfest.net.au/sponsors.html

    I’ll be watching Ch 9 News at the earlier time of 5pm to see how they spin this :-)

    Like

  8. Frank Calabrese says:

    I’m sure She-Ra would have been hoping for people to kick on to vandalise the Ferris Wheel.

    Though I note the event wasn’t sponsored by the City of Perth – which is just as well.

    hmm, check out the conditions.

    CONDITIONS OF ENTRY

    * No un-accompanied juveniles are permitted to enter the event
    * Juveniles must be accompanied by an adult or guardian at all times at the event
    * Only 18+ identified by an appropriate wristband can purchase alcohol
    * No pass outs
    * This is a non-smoking event
    * No food or drink can be brought into event
    * Management has the right to refuse service to any patron acting in an inappropriate manner
    * Management has the right to escort any patron from the event if they are acting in an inappropriate manner.
    * Acos Events encourages responsible drinking practices. Please don’t drink and drive.

    Gates open at 3pm and close 10pm

    So it ends at 10pm tonight – I’ll be listennig to Westrail Transit guards to hear them deal with all the drunks :-)

    Like

  9. Lesley Dewar says:

    “No pass outs”

    What about the poor girl in the queue??? Did she get tossed out for passing out?

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  10. heh heh. I’ll give you that one.

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  11. Frank Calabrese says:

    So it ends at 10pm tonight – I’ll be listennig to Westrail Transit guards to hear them deal with all the drunks :-)

    Oh and good luck to those getting a bus to an outer suburb – don’t they know Public Transport is almost non-existent on a Sunday Night, especially in the hills – plus the trains will be running hourly as well till midnight.

    I wonder if Beaumont and his Kahunas will take calls whinging about this – somehow I doubt it considering the commercial arrangement with his employer and the organiser :-)

    Like

  12. Niz says:

    Dont worry about “dealing with all the drunks”. In order to get drunk at all you would need to line up for a beer immediately after buying 2 beers. Consume them in the line, repeat.

    With an hour between the front of the line and the back of the line, you’re never getting drunk.

    We saw a guy turn up drunk, at first we thought the guy was a tool. After 20 minutes inside I picked him for being a downright genius. Sure as sh1t, he was the only bloke in there getting rotten.

    We pulled the pin on it after our first beers and went to Durty Nelly’s for a feed and a moderately price pint.

    $10 for a 500ml bottle of beer I can buy at my local bottle-o for $4.75? Errr no.

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  13. Niz, and no ferris wheel kick-on? This sort of disaster is what Twitter would be good for.

    Like

  14. Niz says:

    I sent the organisers an email congratulating them on their recent graduation from the school of faux event management.

    Only Christopher Skase has suceeded in swindling money out of people at a greater rate.

    We were going to hit up the ferris wheel VIP cab, but we couldnt decide on a DVD short enough for us to play on the cabin entertainment system.

    Like

  15. Midlandia says:

    What a pointless exercise. Surely we can do better than this.

    Not neccessarily for my sake; I’m more of a whiskey person, myself. However, Stu said it best: Australians of all people should be able to organise a beer festival.

    Like

  16. Frank Calabrese says:

    What a pointless exercise. Surely we can do better than this.

    Even Michelle Roberts can organise a better piss up :-)

    Like

  17. Frank Calabrese says:

    And what’s a crap event without Courtney Murphy.

    The bands playing are Maera Paki Band, Howie Morgan Project, Kava, The Royals, Lady Penelope and Courtney Murphy (You know him as the big guy with the big voice from Australian Idol).

    There is entertainment for the whole family with carnival rides and side show alley, live music and DJ’s, fashion parades and displays. Activities include sporting events and a free kids play area. Fashion parades and dance recitals from Krissie Westwood Agency

    Meet players from Perth Glory, WA Reds and Retravision Warriors at the Sports Arena.

    http://www.beerfest.net.au/entertainment.html

    Like

  18. I didn’t even know there was a beer fest in Oz. I’ve been meaning to get over to the German beer fest for years, but now got another reason to visit Australia

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  19. stu says:

    Ha! No Eric I think you’ve misread the tone of the article ;) THAT pile of doggy do is no reason to visit Oz my friend

    Like

  20. People who go to an open-air event at the peak of summer and complain about the heat, the lack of shade and things getting ‘warm’ are the same idiots who say they enjoy summer when they really mean they enjoy air-conditioning.

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  21. The Bartender says:

    What pissed me off about the whole thing is that the organisers don’t know what a BEER festival should be about. If they wanted to showcase beer from around the world they should have had stalls/bars from each country, with bartenders dressed up in national costume, serving their national beers AND food.

    It should have been $10-15 to get in and ALL samples FREE. If you liked what you sampled, you’d then purchase the beer from that stall. Instead of charging $25 for a ticket at the door PLUS $1 PER TASTING and ontop of that $7-9 for a party-sized cup of the exact same beer you can buy from the pub. That’s ripping us off. $25 for the PRIVILEGE to simply enter through the gates?

    No people under 18. Sorry to the parents, but it’s a BEER festival. Alcohol. There’s things for kids and families to do to entertain themselves. A BEER festival should not be family friendly, with rides and kiddie areas. There will be drunk people there – it’s no place to bring a child. 10 year olds dancing onstage? That’s not the kind of entertainment adults want to see.

    I hope the organisers take the complaints seriously, because that “Beer festival” was a complete joke. I can’t believe how wrong they got it.

    What angers me the most is that they made more of a profit than what they would have done had they done it right – people were forking out the $20-25 and then leaving half an hour later in DROVES. Not much alcohol would have been sold to those people. Shameful! Who organised this anyways? 17 year old TAFE event mangement graduates?

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  22. Soul of Panther: Yes. The organisers don’t HAVE to also do a shit job though. I like your blog.

    Like

  23. Frank Calabrese says:

    What angers me the most is that they made more of a profit than what they would have done had they done it right – people were forking out the $20-25 and then leaving half an hour later in DROVES. Not much alcohol would have been sold to those people. Shameful! Who organised this anyways? 17 year old TAFE event mangement graduates?

    But the organisers aimed it at the 96FM Bogan market wh o have young families and the kiddies would’ve flocked to see their Perth Reds, Glory and Western Warrior heroes to get their autograph etc, I’m surprised they didn’t book Fat Cat, or in Ch 9’s case Humphrey B Bear or Hi 5 or New McDonald’s Farm for the kiddies.

    Obviously they were trying to create the Mandurah Crab festival for the CBD crowd who are afraid to venture past Wellington St Station.

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  24. Frank Calabrese says:

    And if you would personally like to abuse the orgasioners fro organising a joke of an event, their contact details, including their direct number :-)

    http://www.beerfest.net.au/contact.php

    Like

  25. stu says:

    Soul of Panther, you’re right but the heat is not the complaint, as above it’s the organisation of the thing that’s the gripe. Though the heat should be taken into consideration when organising this sort of thing.

    Heat aside it seriously was a crappy beer festival, if you’d been to the Freo versions you’d appreciate just how bad it was.

    Embarrassing for Perth is what it amounted to

    Like

  26. Simone says:

    I’ve never had so many complaints about an event on my website before. 9 and I’m sure more to come http://www.enjoyperth.net/2009/01/perth-beer-festival-january-09/
    A friend worked there as a bartender, and when I spoke to her late last night she said she was selling $10 beers, and people were asking about the $1 tasting and she didn’t even know where to send them!

    Like

  27. Simone, re: A friend worked there as a bartender, and when I spoke to her late last night she said she was selling $10 beers, and people were asking about the $1 tasting and she didn’t even know where to send them!

    I hope she had thew good grace to tell them “taste my arse”.

    Like

  28. Stu, I think you are confusing organisation with content. Ref., sows ear/silk purse. You can’t sell premium imported beers at less than 10 dollars. Try ordering tea-beer from the Belgium with a ten dollar note and see how far that takes you. Anyone who compares anything to the Mandurah Crab Festival has low standards. And everyone who still imagines that Perth can’t attract premium acts does not know Tegan & Sara, Underworld or Public Enemy. Or probably deserve a second-rate beer fest.

    Anyway, I had a fun weekend riding the Wheel of Excellence and standing around waiting for lifeguards to let me back in the water.

    Like

  29. Anonymous Perthon says:

    I hereby pronounce every day ‘Beer Festival Day’.

    Like

  30. Frank Calabrese says:

    And TWAT have also done a puff piece on this “event”

    http://www.watoday.com.au/entertainment/perth-international-beer-fest-20090105-7af3.html

    Like

  31. Grrr says:

    Did you people learn nothing from the Fremantle Beer Festival (for which I believe the organiser’s sign is still up in the wilds of Subiaco?

    All the same complaints were made then (with additional complaints about all beer being served in plastic cups).

    You should have your own beerfests. The International Beer Shop (google it) in Wembley(?) or the Beer Store in Dianella are more than fully stocked to cater to your wishes.

    Like

  32. stu says:

    Soul of Panther

    No I’m not actually, go read my original blogpost http://yelpar.blogspot.com/2009/01/perth-beer-festival.html you’ll notice that my complaints are about how hard it was to get into the venue, how hard it was to actually get a beer and then being served a hot beer because they ran out of cold beers = piss poor organisation

    As for the costs, it’s a festival, it’s meant to promote International beers. This is where the International Breweries take the opportunity to promote their wares, so yeah they could offer a fucking beer for less that $10. But they didn’t and why cos they weren’t even there.

    It was and is a joke

    Perth can attract quality acts, never said they couldn’t I just said they couldn’t organise a beer festival to save their arse and you acknowledge it was a second class festival so I guess we now agree :)

    Like

  33. Lazy Aussie says:

    Even non drinkers are saying they heard it was shit.

    Like

  34. Chris says:

    This is the email I sent to the organisers of the event just minutes ago

    To Alek and Lisa,

    I must start by saying that I went to the International Beer Festival on Saturday afternoon and was most disappointed with what I saw.

    If the Belgian Beer Cafe, Bobby Dazzlers, the Lucky Shag and the Brass Monkey were all full by 6pm on a Saturday afternoon, full of people who had LEFT the festival, then this is a poor indication of the ability of the festival to operate. Even the Paddington Ale House had a larger Saturday night trade than usual, because people wanted to be able to drink a quality beer that they hadn’t tried before. I spoke to about 50 people after leaving the festival and I did not hear a single positive thing about it.

    I’m going to raise a number of issues in this email, detailing what was wrong with the festival and how to improve it in the future.

    1. The location – Langley Park was a bad spot to have the festival to start with. If you had held it in the Supreme Court Gardens or the Esplanade, it would have been much easier for people to get to AND it would not have been anywhere as easy to dissuade people from going on the walk back to the public transport.
    2. The Lines to get in – If you are expecting thousands of people to turn up to a festival such as this, it would have been a lot easier for you to separate out the 6 entry points from the line to purchase your tickets. I waited in the line for 30 minutes just to get in the door
    3. Range of beers – An International Beer Festival needs to feature beers from all over the world. Mauritius, Germany and the United Kingdom does not make an International Beer Festival, it makes an outdoor pub. Further to that, I did not see any Jarrah Jacks at any of the stalls on Saturday. Where were all the other Western Australian microbreweries? There was no Little Creatures, no Gage Roads, no Nail, no Matso’s, no Duckstein, no Elmars; the list goes on and on. It is clear that the Brewers Association was not brought into the loop until much too late and whatever deal that was offered to them by you was not good enough to get the breweries on board.
    4. The amount of beer/supplies – There is absolutely no excuse for running out of beer at a beer festival. While this did not happen to me, I have friends of mine who I met later that evening who waited for a warm beer in a plastic cup topped up with ice. This is an absolute disgrace.
    5. The Lines to get a drink – There was no way people should be waiting up to 90 minutes for a beer that they could get at the pub. For a beer festival to operate properly there should be enough tents or alcohol outlets to ensure that people can actually get a beer and walk away.
    6. The tastings – What happened to the advertised “drink tasting tickets starting at $1”? I certainly didn’t see any of these and no-one I spoke to found them either.
    7. The rides – What was the purpose of having the rides there? I know this was supposed to be a family event, but for goodness sakes, it felt more like a school fete than a beer festival. When there are more stalls for generic fete-like products than beer stalls, then you can’t call it a beer festival.
    8. The entertainment – This should have been a no-brainer. If you are going to put on girls in bikinis as part of a fashion show, you don’t put them on first, and you certainly don’t put 13 and 14 year old girls on stage at a beer festival. Why do you think all the men that flocked to the stage for the swimsuit section moved away as quickly as possible once the girls that opened the Christmas pageant got on stage? This was a very poor choice of entertainment. A number of modelling agencies and fashion outlets could have been called upon for this portion of the festival and would have provided much better entertainment.
    9. The “family event” – I don’t care what you say, a beer festival is not for children. If you had not approached it as a family event and instead tried to pitch it in the same vein as a wine festival or Spring in the Valley, then you may have had more beer tents.

    The lesson that you need to learn from this is that if you are going to run an international beer festival, you need to be consulting with the Brewers Association right from the beginning, rather than bringing them in after you have most things organised.

    The Fremantle Beer Festival held in 2006 was an enormous success featuring a large number of breweries, a big range of beers, good quality bands and entertainment, places to sit, a good range of food. I have heard rumours of the return of the Fremantle Beer Festival and if that is the case, I sincerely hope that people’s experiences from the weekend do not detract from the possibility of an actually good beer festival in the future.

    Like

  35. margeryx says:

    I nominate Chris to run the next Beer Festival!

    Like

  36. Cookster says:

    Stu, TLA, thanks for a great Worst – I threw up a link on The Perth Files and have hawked it around a few media contacts.

    Interesting to see the Glory was a sponsor. While the Beer Fest crowd limped home sober after a few warm ones, I was sipping chilled Becks in the corporate area watching the boys have a rare win on the paddock.

    Ahhh, Perth…

    Like

  37. Frank Calabrese says:

    Interesting to see the Glory was a sponsor. While the Beer Fest crowd limped home sober after a few warm ones, I was sipping chilled Becks in the corporate area watching the boys have a rare win on the paddock.

    And what’s the bet there were no Glory Players present on the Sunday.

    Another suggestion, do NOT schedule events when it clashes with any sporting event which involves one of your major sponsors.

    Like

  38. poor lisa says:

    Hilarious. I really see why Australia needs another special event to promote beer.

    After all we’re renowned as a nation of spritzer-quaffers, and beer is a new & exotic product that average people are intimidated by when they see the baffling range of brewed golden drinks with labels that say ‘beer’ in their local cellarbrations, and the imported stuff is SO difficult to source at the bijou wine bars dotted all over town, so we really do need extra encouragement to sample it at an organised event.

    And I wouldn’t have been able to read stu’s fantastic rant without it so I’m glad the organisers majorly fucked up.

    oh and: Public Enemy? Underworld? I hope that reference to first-rate acts is ironic.

    Like

  39. Underworld have moved on since Underneath The Gaydar. I hope the organisers aren’t planning on organising a prostituion festival. How embarrassing if we also can’t organise a root in a brothel.

    Like

  40. My Ning says:

    Who remembers the old joke about how Bondy went broke by selling beer to Western Australians.

    Well now we have the organisers of a WA beer festival who are:
    (1) Willing to rip people off, and;
    (2) So friggin’ incompetent that they can’t put on a half decent show for the country’s biggest boozers.

    So, the Bondy spirit of entrepeneurialship continues. Good to see not much has changed in Perth over the past two decades…. Hell, I think we should forgive Burkie and David Parker and put them back in charge of the Labor Party. God knows they’ll be welcome by the time the Barnett-led Coalition self destructs.

    Like

  41. And does “Retravision Warriors” sound a bit underneath the gaydar as well? Now The Archie Martins Warriors is a name I could get behind.

    Like

  42. poor lisa says:

    Underworld are nevertheless a +10-year-old rave act who were already bald old almost-beens lucky to get a 90’s revival after being too cringingly 80’s for the 80’s in the 80’s.

    I read somewhere that Perth was the only place in the world that Underneath the Radar was a hit. “There’s no way that you’re ever gunna get far.” What the?

    OK Public Enemy are something else, but really whatever happened to pop being ephemeral? Why are these people still plaguing us with their tours. I’m not going anyway, but I do like to complain.

    Like

  43. Frank Calabrese says:

    I read somewhere that Perth was the only place in the world that Underneath the Radar was a hit. “There’s no way that you’re ever gunna get far.” What the?

    That is indeed correct and it spent 7 weeks at No 1 in 1988. You can blame 96FM for flogging the shit out of it at the time, especially the Album version, which is longer than the 7″ version.

    They also hit the charts with Show Some Emotion, Stand Up and of course Born Slippy, which featured the line “Lager, Lager”, over and over again – rather apt for this joke of a Beer Festival.

    Like

  44. Cookster says:

    Someone just posted this on teh blog:

    ‘I went to the Perth International Beer Fest and I thought it was a superb event, organised extremely well, with plenty of food, cold beer and entertainment.

    Well done to the organisers.’

    Isn’t it good to know that at least one anonymous soul enjoyed the day – and made sure they used the correct title for the event.

    Anyone seen this exact post replicated elsewhere as yet?

    Like

  45. My Ning says:

    I’m a bit vague on this one, but I’m pretty sure Rage also had something to do with Underneath the Radar becoming a hit. I remember the song at the time, but I always made a point of not listening to 96FM – gave up with the station in 1983 when the jocks used to tell us to put on the headphones, pump up the volume and listen to stuff like Styx….

    Like

  46. Frank Calabrese says:

    ‘I went to the Perth International Beer Fest and I thought it was a superb event, organised extremely well, with plenty of food, cold beer and entertainment.

    Either posted by one of the organisers (Check the IP address, if it goes to the website it will prove it) or it was one of the first people through the gate.

    Like

  47. Frank Calabrese says:

    but I always made a point of not listening to 96FM – gave up with the station in 1983 when the jocks used to tell us to put on the headphones, pump up the volume and listen to stuff like Styx….

    96FM in it’s original Gary roberts incarnation were always an elitist station – Steve Gordon was almost sacked for actually playing a Kylie Minogue track during the weekly Top 30 Album countdown, despite the station also playing during Said Countdown,tracks Rick Astley & Bros whose “Albums” were also charting, though not on the regular playlist , as a result Steve was no longer allowed to present said program, though on the plus side he got a letter from Kylie via her management for sticking his balls out and playing the song.

    Like

  48. skink says:

    I saw Underworld play in Amsterdam in 1987 – complete with frilly shirts (but I don’t wanna be a pirate!)

    I have only just realized via Wiki they are the same lot that became Born Slippy triphoppers.

    I also saw Public Enemy play Challenge Arena in 1992. A half-empty basketball hall full of middle class white kids dressed as gangstas. Before the gig I saw two of the roadies walking through the audience, checking out the crowd, shaking their heads and muttering ‘…fucking hell…’

    after that gig they got the fuck outta Dodge and I don’t think they have returned since

    Like

  49. My Ning says:

    If me memory aint too burnt out, the first song the station (96) played when it debuted in Aug ‘1980 was Steely Dan’s FM. Not bad, opening its assault with a tune that was first released in 1978 as part of a soundtrack for a forgettable B-grade movie (plus, I must say, its not one of SD’s more memorable tunes).

    Indeed, wasn’t 96’s initial promise that it wasn’t going to play the usual AM crap? Surely that was a plus.

    Elitist or not, the station’s first year was a damn good one. After all, can’t it take its fair share of credit for properly introducing many in Perth to The Clash?

    Like

  50. Frank Calabrese says:

    If me memory aint too burnt out, the first song the station (96) played when it debuted in Aug ‘1980 was Steely Dan’s FM. Not bad, opening its assault with a tune that was first released in 1978 as part of a soundtrack for a forgettable B-grade movie (plus, I must say, its not one of SD’s more memorable tunes).

    Indeed, wasn’t 96’s initial promise that it wasn’t going to play the usual AM crap? Surely that was a plus.

    Elitist or not, the station’s first year was a damn good one. After all, can’t it take its fair share of credit for properly introducing many in Perth to The Clash?

    Yes, that is indeed correct on all counts but Steve exposed the hypocrisy of the Album Chart show by only playing tracks from “Playlist Friendly” Albums on the Chart, rather than just biting the bullet for one shift and just play the chart as is – it would be like 92.9 editing Take 40 Australia and removing the charting songs which don’t fit the format – you either do it properly, or not at all.

    Sort of like the Beer Festival :-)

    Like

  51. You dissin Styx My Ning? Domo Arigato Mr roboto!?!!!
    You’re dead to me now Ning.

    Like

  52. Frank Calabrese says:

    After all, can’t it take its fair share of credit for properly introducing many in Perth to The Clash?

    Yep, only 6PM started playing The Clash when Rock The Casbah was released as a single, and then again they tewaked their turntables up 2% so it sounded faster than anywhere else.

    Like

  53. Ljuke says:

    Styx are no 10cc.

    Like

  54. poor lisa says:

    Yew know it’s yew babe.

    Like

  55. My Ning says:

    Mr LA

    You surprise me – I thought you’d hate Styxx after the Barnster was heard drunkedly singing one of their songs to Brendon at an OBH Sunday session after last year’s election win:

    “A gathering of angels appeared above my head,
    They sang to me this song of hope, and this is what they said:
    They said come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me……”

    Or was he singing: “Welcome to the grand illusion?” Jeez, now I’m confused…..

    Like

  56. Grrr says:

    Only in Perth could a discussion of a failed event movie into “classic rock of the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s” (if I have my radio slogan on the ball).

    Styx.
    For fuck’s sake. What’s next?
    Iron Butterfly headlining East Perth Oval Members Equity?

    Styx and 10cc …. and not one mention of the lack of A Certain Stout at the above beer festival from Mr Moore’s former pupil, My Ning.

    Like

  57. Anon says:

    I went to the Perth International Beer Fest and I thought it was a superb event, organised extremely well, with plenty of food, cold beer and entertainment.

    Well done to the organisers

    Like

  58. Rolly says:

    How does a critique on a failed beerfest turn into a discussion on rubbishy rock musicians?
    It’s like a dispute over the relative merits of Commodore, Valiant and Falcon.
    How can you possibly discuss something that is non-existent?
    Merits? My arse!
    The whole of that popular rock culture was commercially controlled crap.
    And still is.
    Only the mentally adversely affected could enjoy it. Hence the proliferation of mood altering substances. Reality was too painful.
    Folk who were happy in their own skins needed neither smoked herring nor hard rock.
    Cynicism Rules! OK?

    Like

  59. Frank Calabrese says:

    Only in Perth could a discussion of a failed event movie into “classic rock of the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s” (if I have my radio slogan on the ball).

    Well 96FM under the auspices of Fairfax Radio and Declan Kelly did sponsor this debacle, which makes me wonder if 96 was still under the Patronage of Gary Roberts, whether they would want their name and image associated with such an event – though considering it was his idea to introduce us to the horroe of Skyshow – that is a moot point :-)

    Like

  60. My Ning says:

    Grrr – Stormin’ Norman was my headmaster, not a teacher. He ended up marrying the school’s grade seven teacher who, some 32 years later, got him into all that trouble over share ownership. Who would have suspected all of this drama would have unraveled way back then… (she was probably the one who also pushed him into getting those Rottnest tickets a few years ago as well- a low rent Lady Macbeth to be sure).

    And I hate to say it, but I didn’t even know this fucking beerfest was on….

    Like

  61. Frank Calabrese says:

    Speaking of 96FM, I can distinctly recall them simulcasting the 1985 or 86 WA Rock Awards from the Conccert Hall where there were thje creme de la creme of WA Music talent performing, including V Capri who were the only act who mimed thier performance of “Thats The Way”, complete with Coreographed Karate Exponents on-stage.

    I think it was the only night that WA Indie musicians got any airplay on either commercial radio or TV.

    Like

  62. Grrr says:

    My Ning – I had heard something. I think that we both missed it is a good thing.

    For $300 (which was mentioned above, or at Stu’d excellent blog) I could have the most awesome beer fest in my lounge.
    Crap Perth bands need not apply.

    Like

  63. john Ryan says:

    I was flicking radio stations there was a call to the ABC by a rather annoyed chap was not happy,on 6PR Beamont apart from mentioning Burkie nothing I heard on their about it,
    I think Beaumont copped a caning about Burkie I know I sent about 4 or 5 e mails that never made it to air,when he got back he said he was trying to work out whether it was organised or not.
    He left it well alone to day after the reporter did a cross from the court I always thought they could not run a piss up in a brewery in Perth.

    Like

  64. Or Styx Grrr? You tellin me if Styx offered their loungeroom services, you’d turn them down?

    Like

  65. Ljuke says:

    Would this be a good time to mention Status Quo?

    Like

  66. Frank Calabrese says:

    Would this be a good time to mention Status Quo?

    Who weren’t even good enough for 96FM if I recall correctly – U2 on the other hand were the darlings of 111 Wellington St :-) As were the Oils, heck even Kids In The Kitchen got a good run, despite having Top 40 leanings.

    Like

  67. Frank Calabrese says:

    John,

    Like I said I’ll bet Beaumont was ordered to leave it alone as Fairfax media, via 96FM werre one of the vsponsors – you don’t want to upset the boys in Sales, especially a Mr L Yorke :-)

    Like

  68. skink says:

    if we could move the conversation back to beer:

    did they have any of Dorothy Goodbody’s Wholesome Stout?

    http://www.talkingretail.com/products/drinks-news/10397-dorothy-goodbody-takes-top-bottled-beer-award.html

    Like

  69. Frank Calabrese says:

    did they have any of Dorothy Goodbody’s Wholesome Stout?

    Nope, they had only FOUR beers available – see Stu’s blog for which ones, and enjoyperth’s blog.

    http://www.enjoyperth.net/2009/01/perth-beer-festival-january-09/

    Like

  70. Frank Calabrese says:

    Hmm, just found the Perth City Council minutes on the proposal for this “event”

    http://www.perth.wa.gov.au/documentdb/816

    Like

  71. Frank Calabrese says:

    hmm, from the above document.

    303/08 PROPOSED ACOS BEER FESTIVAL 2009 AT LANGLEY
    PARK
    The Chief Executive Officer advised that the applicant had requested that this
    item be withdrawn.
    Motion to withdraw item
    Moved by Cr Hardy, seconded by Cr Evangel
    That the item relating to Proposed ACOS Beer Festival 2009 at Langley
    Park be withdrawn.
    The motion to withdraw was put and carried
    The votes were recorded as follows:-
    For: The Lord Mayor, Crs Butler, Davidson, Evangel, Hardy, Liu, McEvoy,
    Sutherland and Tognolini
    Against: Nil

    So it was mooted back and June, but the applicant asked that it be removed from the agenda ? I wonder why this was the case ? Were they having problems finding suitable beers back then ?

    Like

  72. Anon

    I went to the Perth International Prostitute Fest and I thought it was a superb event, organised extremely well, with plenty of beaver damming, blow jobbing and cork soaking.

    Well done to the organisers

    Like

  73. Frank Calabrese says:

    According to the October Council Minutes, the organisers sought Sposorship from the PCC which they wisely declined :-)

    http://www.perth.wa.gov.au/documentdb/1007

    This is the telling bit :-)

    COMMENTS:
    The Perth International Beer Festival is a new event that has not previously been
    presented in the City of Perth.
    The organisers are seeking cash sponsorship of $42,000 (excluding GST) to mitigate
    the costs of the City’s own reserve hire fees.
    The event is a privately run, commercial operation. Consideration needs to be given
    to the precedent that would be set in sponsoring commercial events held in the City’s
    public space. As these factors are not in keeping with the intent of the Sponsorship
    Policy, the recommendation is to decline the request.
    Moved by Cr Evangel, seconded by Cr Liu
    That the Council declines the request from Acos Event Management to
    sponsor the 2009 Perth International Beer Festival to be held on Langley
    Park on 10 and 11 January 2009.
    The motion was put and carried
    The votes were recorded as follows:-
    For: The Lord Mayor, Crs Butler, Davidson, Evangel, Hardy, Liu, McEvoy,
    Sutherland and Tognolini
    Against: Nil

    Like

  74. frank, what was the scanner traffic like? Lots of angry non drunks?

    Like

  75. Frank Calabrese says:

    frank, what was the scanner traffic like? Lots of angry non drunks?

    Virtually none at all which is very strange – even for a Sunday Night.

    Like

  76. poor lisa says:

    I love capitalism. Next time I’m chucking an event which promotes and is sponsored by major corporations, i might try hiring a publicly owned venue then ask the government for funding so it can pay me to hire the venue from it.

    Like

  77. Ljuke says:

    For 15 bucks? I don’t think so. I can get a six pack for that much money. And drink it in the park in front of the wheel for free.

    Like

  78. stu says:

    Lazy Aussie

    Anon

    I went to the Perth International Prostitute Fest and I thought it was a superb event, organised extremely well, with plenty of beaver damming, blow jobbing and cork soaking.

    Well done to the organisers

    ______________________________________________

    hahahah I see what you did there :)

    Like

  79. stu says:

    Just had this comment left on my blog

    Anonymous said…

    serves you right for going you pack of tragic clowns.
    _____________________________________________

    he/she does have a point, best comment thus far

    Like

  80. Frank Calabrese says:

    Stu,

    Did Lazy Aussie forward you the full City Of Perth proposal for te funding of the event – the tossers even promised “Free Shuttle Busses”.

    Were there any on the day ?

    Like

  81. Cookster says:

    Oh my, you’d think the organisers would come up with a different response for every blog that’s posted about this calamity rather than cutting and pasting the same thing.

    Has anyone seen any further commentary supporting the statement that this was a “superb event”?

    Like

  82. Frank Calabrese says:

    Can someone with full access to the ASC PLEASE do a full search on who else is behind this mob of no-hopers ? I’m hoping there is a high flying”Perthonality” in the mix.

    Like

  83. stu says:

    Frank

    yep LA sent it to me, awesome read, didn’t exactly go off as planned did it.

    and there was no sign of shuttle buses as far as I could see, mostly taxis doing a roaring trade running people to the Queens and The Belgian Beer Cafe ha!

    maybe the buses where all being used to shuttle in more hot Boags from the local Liquorland

    Like

  84. stu says:

    oh I just noticed this choice bit in the council minutes

    Acos Events Management was established in 2007. The Perth International Beer Festival will be the first event Acos Events Management has organised in Australia.

    The director of the company previously organised similar events in Serbia

    __________________________

    haha anyone have a contact in Serbia, we need to know how there festivals go

    Like

  85. Frank Calabrese says:

    yep LA sent it to me, awesome read, didn’t exactly go off as planned did it.

    Yep, and a very wise move by the Coun cil to knock back sponsoring the event. And John Ryan’s comments re 6PR’s reaction to the complaints is telling as well, a classic case of do not bite the hand that feeds you, though I’m surprised 6PR weren’t sponsors and offered Tod Johnston to do a live Broadcast of The Big Weekend, hence 96 only being able to do a live broadcast on the Saturday was because 6PR needed the OB gear for the Soccer on Sunday and couldn’t afford the ISDN charges for both events :-)

    Like

  86. Frank Calabrese says:

    Read Page 17 of the Committee Report :-)

    http://www.perth.wa.gov.au/documentdb/975.pdf

    If the Committee wishes to support the request, the following alternative
    recommendation may be approved:-
    That the Council approves:-
    1. cash sponsorship of $42,000 (excluding GST) to Acos Event Management for
    the 2009 Perth International Beer Festival to be held on Langley Park on 10 and
    11 January 2009;
    2. the expenditure in part 1 above being charged to Budget Item ‘Recreation and
    Culture – Other Culture – Other Cultural Activities’;
    3. the cash sponsorship to be inclusive of the City’s fees and charges which will be
    invoiced by the City and paid by the applicant in the normal manner;
    4. the event organisers providing the following sponsorship benefits:-
    4.1 City of Perth signs at the event;
    4.2 City of Perth crest on television and print advertising;
    4.3 eight tickets for Elected Members to attend the event;
    4.4 the Lord Mayor or representative to be invited to officially welcome the
    Festival to the city.

    Like

  87. stu says:

    hahah, my personal favs are

    “The event will increase visitation to the city and add vibrancy to the foreshore.”

    and

    “The event may or may not be cultural or arts based”

    I’ve whacked a few choice extracts up here http://yelpar.blogspot.com/2009/01/perth-beer-festival-update.html

    Like

  88. Frank Calabrese says:

    I’m waiting with baited breath for the organisers to cite “the world economic downturn” to justify the crapiness of the event and the lack of beers available.

    Like

  89. Surely they would have made a lot of money?

    Like

  90. Frank Calabrese says:

    Surely they would have made a lot of money?

    On Ticket Sales both pre and at the gate- definately as well as on the Kiddie Rides, though how much was spent on hiring the bands, paying 96FM for the live broadcast etc they wouldn’t have made much of a profit.

    Like

  91. Bill O"Slatter says:

    Gee whiz didn’t this one have a touch of the “boxing promoters” about it. A couple of third rate clowns get punched in the ring together with third world catering. Pissup brewery , root brothel come to mind. Not only queues a mile long , warmpis , stupid rules , lack of sun protection , children’s rides , crap bands , but worst of all a complete failure to get local brewers involved. An insult to the intelligence of all involved.

    Like

  92. Re: Pissup brewery , root brothel
    Don’t you mean “Root – brewery, piss up – brothel?”

    Like

  93. Bento says:

    Getting punched in the ring sounds almost as painful as being picked up by the fuzz.

    Like

  94. Bill O"Slatter says:

    Root – brewery, piss up – brothel Festival 2009, now that’s got a ring to it, Sponsored by root brewed brothel piss.

    Like

  95. S says:

    haha, this must be why I drove by a booze bus after going to ride the wheel with my friend (it was ok-ay, for all it being slammed as too small). Considering it doesn’t sound like many people got beers, there were a good deal of cars that had been pulled over (i.e over the limit).

    Like

  96. Big Ramifications says:

    This was me on the wheel after I got an absolute skinful at the Fest.

    VIP capsule, of course. Well done to the organisers.

    http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/travel/young-lovers-caught-out-on-melbournes-wheel-20090112-7end.html

    Like

  97. Frank Calabrese says:

    And as predicted, “Jason” has posted a glowing report to Simone’s Blog – and it is almostr a word for word copy of the various “Anon Posts”.

    http://www.enjoyperth.net/2009/01/perth-beer-festival-january-09/#comment-32175

    Like

  98. stu says:

    I’m finding these “the festival was excellent” posts that are popping up everywhere to be fucking hilarious. Maybe this tactic worked in Serbia where they no doubt screwed that one up as well.

    “YOU had a good time YES”

    Like

  99. How hard would it be to write a convincing supporting comment?

    Like

  100. Bill O"Slatter says:

    Questions need to be raised in parliament : was this event part of the construction She-Rainian piss weak world on the foreshore ?
    Where’s the quality control on these “events” ? Where’s the responsible public health stuff : alcohol use and sun wise ?
    Where’s DFOC when the outrages are being done ; has he been paid off by Big Media ?
    And all of this she-mozzle happening under She-Ra’s rain . Yes a truly She-Rainian event aided and abetted by a couple of deranged Serbs.

    Like

  101. David Cohen says:

    I’ll check my bank account.

    Like

  102. As Frank ferreted out some comments ago, the She-Ra faction dodged a bullet by not supporting (ie giving cash) to this disaster.

    Like

  103. Maaaaate. I thought Julian had made that clear. No bank accounts, no receipts.

    Like

  104. skink says:

    I think Bill may be on to something

    with the Pissweak Wheel, the sideshows and the beer tents She-Ra is slowly recreating Claremont Showgrounds on the Perth foreshore with a view to providing a venue for the Big Day Out

    I look forward to the Wild Mouse ride being rebuilt around the Bell Tower

    Like

  105. David Cohen says:

    Maaaaate. Should I check the shoe-box/garlic bag/behind the cistern?

    My sources tell me the hopless beer event could be covered in south-of-the-river meedja. Someone is on the case.

    Like

  106. Frank Calabrese says:

    I just hope Barney & Co can do a better job at promoting WA for locals than this mob.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/01/14/2465739.htm

    Though somehow I fear it will be a repeat of the Elle Mcpherson Debacle, and I seem to recall that a certain former Headmaster of one My Ning was Tourism Minister at the time.

    Like

  107. Rolly says:

    That’s a real piss-me-off, Frank.

    During normal trading circumstances businesses do their damnedest to minimise their taxes, often improperly; but, come a rough patch, they come out demanding that the public purse be used to bail them out.

    Business is business and should maintain the Darwinian principle of survival of the fittest.

    Like

  108. stu says:

    D. Cohen your sources would seem to be on the money, I signed off on a phone interview with a certain publication yesterday.

    I look forward to reading my misquotes, not sure if they are coughing up any mullah for the use of my photos but I’m okay with that ;)

    Like

  109. Snuff says:

    Don’t look here, Rolly.

    Like

  110. Rolly says:

    Yes, Snuff, that one arrived in my e-mail last week.
    Very much to the point.

    Like

  111. Snuff, were you going to send some sister city /Belmont stuff?

    Like

  112. Snuff says:

    Sure, TLA. Give me a few minutes to get them together, and I’ll send them tonight.

    Like

  113. stu says:

    Contact:
    _______________________________________________

    Stuart,

    Thank you for your feedback. Acos Events apologises for your disappointment.

    Please forward your banking details for a refund.

    Acos Event Management
    _______________________________________________

    I wonder if they are responding to every email complaint in this way, anyone else receive a reply like this?

    Like

  114. Congratulations! Power to teh people! Was just thinking about the blog coverage vs the usual suspects on this and how totally different it was. The blog comments were basically 100 percent angry and negative (minus a few fake pro commments), something not picked up by papers/tv. Even your interview came via your blog to a journo rather than other way round.

    Like

  115. Frank Calabrese says:

    The blog comments were basically 100 percent angry and negative (minus a few fake pro commments), something not picked up by papers/tv.

    And not a peep from Fairfax – especially 6PR – which is telling as they were one of the sponsors via 96FM. Why wasn’t Sattler on the case ? If John Ryan is correct, then the Kahuna Beaumont must’ve gone off the scent once he was told who pays his wages :-)

    Like

  116. Cookster says:

    Spot on TLA – even if there had been no negative coverage in traditional media at all, the caning this event got via the blog network alone has done the damage.

    The fact that the organisers have trawled through one blog post after another to cut and paste their “superb event” response is testament to the power of teh interwebs.

    A lesson for everyone that if you post the same response on every site (as per spammers), you will be exposed.

    On the other hand, if our festive friends had come out using their real names and responded to the crticisms offering genuine comment and taking it on the chin, much of this prolonged bashing would have been avoided.

    A comment to the effect of, ‘As the organiser of the event I’m very sorry it didn’t live up to expectations and would be happy to offer you a refund’ would have helped retrieve the situation somewhat.

    Pretending to be a satisfied punter simply threw fuel (not warm beer) on the fire.

    Like

  117. Or “Thanks for your comments Stu. Yes, obviously we could have done some things a lot better, and we will be looking at all the feedback to make sure next years festival is really fantastic. We will be sending you a bunch of free passes for 2010…

    It’s too late now. They’ve already received all the bad publicity, so they might as well have saved their money. If they had offered a refund BEFORE he did a newspaper interview, they could have got some credit for that too, but too late.

    Like

  118. Rolly says:

    “Stuart,

    Thank you for your feedback. Acos Events apologises for your disappointment.

    Please forward your banking details for a refund.

    Acos Event Management”

    There’s more than just a little hint of a Balkan variation on a well known Nigerian scam in that response.

    Like

  119. Frank Calabrese says:

    There’s more than just a little hint of a Balkan variation on a well known Nigerian scam in that response.

    Yep, and those who bought tickets via Ticketek should go there and seek a refund and/or go to DoCEP.

    Sounds VERY fishy to me.

    Methinks this sounds like a job for Today Tonight – don’t bother with A Current Affair as Ch 9 were the media partner, plus 7 would LOVE any excuse to bag Ch 9 :-)

    Like

  120. stu says:

    just had this comment posted on my blog, good to read this angle as well and confirms that the cost of stalls excluded the smaller players.

    ________________________________________________

    As a WABA member and the Manager of one of WA’s small microbreweries it was saddening to read of everyones experiences on the weekend.

    We were quoted in the region of 10 to 12000 dollars for a stall which is well beyond our budget. Not to mention the cost of stock to be used for sampling.

    As such, you didnt see the likes of Feral, Matsos, Nail, Jarrah Jacks etc there. From memory, we were notified of the events planning early in 2008 and were pretty pumped about it until the details and pricing were released.
    It sounds a lot like the 2006 festival that I had the pleasure of working, and I thought that event was stretched to its limits. At least it was attended by the WA’s excellent micro-breweries.

    We considered 2006 to be a successful event for the brewery even though there were a lot of organisational issues that were obviously repeated last weekend.
    When the queue to buy beer becomes too huge, the pressure mounts on breweries promoting their product to pour samples at pub speed. The main reason we attend beer shows is expose our products to you the beer drinker. Its also a great opportunity for us to meet you and talk about beer in general, given the chance.
    Believe me, Im sure the poor bastards spruiking all that mainstream rubbish were having as shit of a time as you. Except they were getting paid.

    ______________________________________________

    Like

  121. LuLu says:

    i think its a huge dissapointment

    what a fantastic chance to offer all the likes of the swan valley and margaret river breweries / microbreweries in the city for the weekend…

    i thought it would have been a great opportunity for the microbreweries to promote their products – because as we all know they are being crushed by the new taxes on alcohol…

    if it was too expensive for people to pay for a stall, and too expensive for people to go in and check it out.. then how on earth did it go ahead in the fist place.

    i am sure i would be able to single handedly hold a successful event, with great marketing benefits for sellers, a great time for visitors and all proceeds going to chartiy…

    Like

  122. Chris says:

    I haven’t received my email to apologise or offer a refund. I’ve even spoken to the group that staffed the bars, set them up, etc.

    I’m not expecting to get offered a refund unless I ring up.

    Like

  123. Dan says:

    Daniel,

    Thank you for your feedback. Acos Events apologises for your disappointment.

    Hey guys, this is what I received from those clowns at Acos. I’d love to be offered my money back but instead got this…..

    “Obviously things went wrong but were rectified as soon as it was possible. I can assure you we have learnt from this event and the next will be great.

    Your name has been registered for complimentary tickets for next year where it will be bigger and better.”

    Acos Event Management

    Ticketek sent me this reply FYI ….
    “For formal complaints please write to: Ticketek – Beer Festival ComplaintsGPO Box 210Burswood WA 6100”

    Like

  124. HEY, isn’t that strangely close to what I wrote they should say a few days ago, including that there’s no point in refunds?

    “Or “Thanks for your comments Stu. Yes, obviously we could have done some things a lot better, and we will be looking at all the feedback to make sure next years festival is really fantastic. We will be sending you a bunch of free passes for 2010…

    It’s too late now. They’ve already received all the bad publicity, so they might as well have saved their money. “

    Like

  125. skink says:

    there is an article in today’s Voice about the festival (page 4) with Stu’s interview and a comment from the organiser that they lost a lot of money

    also, opposite that story on Page 5, two photos of the Curtin Shortarms statue, one with a traffic cone on the head, one with a glove puppet on the hand.

    Twop sets the agenda

    Like

  126. David says:

    Hi, we are putting on a beer Expo in melbourne March 20-21 this year.
    The Beer & Brewer Expo has presentation areas for live demonstrations on beer & food matching, home brewing and beer tasting master classes to educate and entertain. Beer will be from local craft brewers and imported and is sure to be an enjoyable event.
    Please see http://www.beerandbrewerexpo.com for more info

    Like

  127. Pingback: All time Most Popular Worsts « The Worst of Perth

  128. stu says:

    Obviously this years version of the beer festival is rapidly approaching as I am getting massive spikes in traffic on my blog, most of this is beer festival related.

    Looking forward to seeing the “improvements” for this year.

    Like

  129. stu says:

    oh and I might add, they’ve pushed it back to Feb 20 – 21, upped the admission price by another $5 and have gone into PR overdrive. They’ve made a number of promises….

    http://yelpar.blogspot.com/2009/11/anyone-up-for-perth-beer-festival.html

    and then

    http://yelpar.blogspot.com/2009/12/perth-international-beer-festival-2010.html

    Like

  130. Mark says:

    I see they are trying to organise another one in 2010.

    Methinks I shan’t be going!

    Like

  131. cookster says:

    I’m going to organise a Goon Festival – a celebration of plonk in a box. I think it’d be a huge hit.

    Like

  132. Headhunter says:

    I’m not going this year. Was a complete disappointment the previous yr. Just a money making event.

    Like

  133. gregoryno6 says:

    Did anyone go to the ’10 festival last weekend?

    Like

  134. JeremyS says:

    I went to the ’10 festival on the 20th of Feb. After what I’d heard about the 2009 festival, I originally wasn’t going to bother, but I’d heard some promising things from people in the know so I thought I’d give it a chance.
    After spending over 3 hours there, I can safely say that it was a huge improvement on 2009. There was over 60 different beers on offer at perhaps 25 different tap points. Beers were available in 60mL, 200mL or 400mL servings. The line to get it was about 10 minutes, and I never waited more than 5 minutes for a beer. It was a bit pricy, but overall a well organised event. They should be going ahead with a festival in 2011 and I will certainly be attending.

    Like

  135. gregoryno6 says:

    Did they have the rides again? I remember fondly the year that the authorities obtained the Octopus for our school fete. A rider was seriously unwell over the side… I will say no more.

    Like

  136. The Legend 101 says:

    Oh Wow.

    Like

  137. WAtching says:

    Expect more action here in the next couple of days…

    I’ll be very interested to see how it goes this year. They certainly got another stinking hot day…

    Like

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