Bounty of She-Ra

The Lazy Aussie got a personal invite to Council House today and had a lovely chat with Lisa She-Ra, Lord Mayor of Power, on the couch in her office with a view. I told her to be sure to stay on her side of the couch. Yes I really did say that. We comedians can get away with anything with the right timing.

Basically she’s fairly frustrated that most of the projects that were about to happen before the election are now all up in the air. Except the ferris wheel. That’s coming. She did try to sell the concept to me, and pointed out it’s only going to be here a year or so. She hopes the wheel trade will help numbers at the Belltower, which are at a totally pathetic 10 000 per year. All the rest depends on the Barney and Brendon show including Northbridge link, Treasury building, foreshore, Channel 7 HQ where the Entertainment Centre is, etc, etc, etc.  She was very supportive of The Worst of Perth, and bestowed some cufflinks on The Lazy Aussie. She had the pink outfit on too.



Her office has the only good aspect of the Convention Centre.

Two worsts in one.

Two worsts in one.

I could see myself wearing this.

The bounty of She-Ra

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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97 Responses to Bounty of She-Ra

  1. Bento says:

    I can’t decide which I want more – a CoP tea set, or CoP cufflinks. Actually, no. I need both.


  2. Damn, I meant to post this tomorrow.

    Well I now have to go out and buy a cufflink compliant shirt, which is going to cost I suppose $150, but still worth it. You not coveting the chain?


  3. If you get to be an influention content provider like wot I am Bento, you might get cufflinks bestowed on the couch too.


  4. BCF says:

    Foodscapes thru the city She Ra! You gotta do it baby! Nice reflection shot of the ceiling sprinkler too LA. When is the city gonna build more City Farms around the place? There could be a half dozen more around the city. Street kids, graffitti nuts, those fallen by the way have gone through that place and it gives them a different take on what you can do. The Mayor thinks a fucking Ferris Wheel is gonna help. Jeeeezus! Wheres the head on it!When are our leaders gonna show some real wisdom? Some real fucking intelligence! The cups look lovely!


  5. Frank Calabrese says:

    It seems the Northbridge Link isn’t high on Colin’s Infrastructure request with Canberra.

    Mr Barnett says the Government is seeking funds for the Ord River Irrigation Scheme, the Oakajee Port Development and the Northbridge Link project in that order.


  6. Bento says:

    The chain doesn’t feature enough crowns for my liking. I see at least 16 crownless swan necks there, which strikes me as a missed opportunity.

    Are there CoP teapots and sugar bowls, too?


  7. Midlandia says:

    I’m going to presume the cufflinks were LA’s glittering prizes for consistently reaming Paul Murray. Cash for comment, perhaps? Or is it bling for ball-busting…?
    Either way, LA’s looking very swish in his two-button; I quite like the tie as well.

    I have no issue with the ferris wheel being a means to an end: something to attract more people whilst proper development gets planned. However, such development is looking painfully distant. I mean, we all got shits and giggles out of Swan Island, but is Dubai in Dowerin really going to be an improvement?


  8. Frank Calabrese says:

    I have no issue with the ferris wheel being a means to an end: something to attract more people whilst proper development gets planned.

    And it will hopefully be up and running in time for the Back To The Future Daylight Xmas Pagaent on the 8th Dec, and it will get use on Australia Day before the Skyshow.

    Though what’s the bet someone will whinge to Howard Sattler about the price of riding it :-)


  9. Midlandia says:

    Frank: “Though what’s the bet someone will whinge to Howard Sattler about the price of riding it :-)”

    Look at the bright side, Frank. The wheel will be walking distance away from the Esplanade station. If Barnett holds to his (or is that Carps’?) promise for free public transport for seniors, the cost of the wheel will be the worst of their problems!


  10. vicdemised says:

    I worked in that building in 1984… The staff caffeteria was on the top floor. We used to look out across the Swan, while enjoying our $2 three course lunches, and wonder whether the sea breeze was strong enough to make it worthwhile going sailing on one of the hire catamarans across the way. Billed to CoP in the name of ‘recreation research’, of course. Memories!

    I was gonna say, LA, I have never seen you in a shirt with cuffs, so you’ll have to use the cuff-links in your scrotum piercing. Ooops! Have I let the cat out of the bag?

    Bento @ 6 Yes, there are CoP teapots and sugar bowls. Teaspoons too!


  11. Bento says:

    Spoons too??? Man, the City of Bayswater didn’t even have branded pens, when I was there.

    In my mind, She-Ra served it to LA on that Council House serving tray I’ve seen elsewhere on TWOP.


  12. Frank Calabrese says:

    Look at the bright side, Frank. The wheel will be walking distance away from the Esplanade station. If Barnett holds to his (or is that Carps’?) promise for free public transport for seniors, the cost of the wheel will be the worst of their problems!

    Barnett matched Carp’s original promise.

    But I’m referring to the Families with young kiddies.


  13. Midlandia says:

    I figured that was the case regarding Carps originally promising it.
    As for you referring to families, that was my fault for misreading what you were implying. As a result of most of the discussions here, I now automatically associate Sattler’s target audience with the blue-rinse set. =P


  14. #11. They had an edition of the tray in the cabinet as well. The building looked fabulous inside and out.

    #10 You haven’t looked hard enough.

    #5 Frank. I assume asking for federal funding is code for putting it on back burner. It was going ahead without fed funding before. Why would the feds give money, when Dickie Court is talking about secession?


  15. Her bum welcoming people to Perth in fluoro shouldn’t cost much.(Hat tip Skink). Now the name of the feral wheel , has it been sorted : Mainie memorial or Paul Nurry bare-arsed ?
    Finally her opinion on the burning questions of the day:
    “Cameriere questo gelato è merda!”


  16. David Cohen says:

    Dear me. Trenchant critic and fearless ambassador of the people dresses up, rolls over and has his tummy tickled by some cufflinks.


  17. @16 What breeds make up a She-Roodle ? How’d that bottle of Howling She-Roodles go ?


  18. skink says:

    first Grylls becomes Barney’s poodle, now you become She-Ra’s.

    did she pat your head and give you a biscuit? did she give you a collar and leash to match your cufflinks?

    there are several important issues that I hope you raised with her:

    1. the naming of the wheel. did you give her the TWOP suggestions?

    2. the neon welcome sign – again, we need her reaction to the TWOP recommendations

    3. the shoes. was she wearing the shoes?

    4. I hope you told her that nobody was fooled by her double-act with Barney yesterday regarding the Northbridge link. Barney aint going to put his hand in his pocket, not if he’s planning to cut the police budget and the Ellenbrook Railway, so he’s trying to pass the buck to the Federal Government Infrastructure and Miscellaneous Pork Fund.

    5. how are plans progressing for the artists’ gibbet in Hay Street mall?

    6. is she really Perth’s answer to Sarah Palin?


  19. #18. Sorry Skink, I was fingering my ‘links. What was all that, I missed it.
    She was quite proud of the PERTH sign on the river for Red Bull race.
    I refused biscuit. Wasn’t hungry.
    I think she knows Barney’s words were code for not doing anything. If you can’t blame Brendon, blame Canberra.
    Forgot to look at shoes. Since we were on same couch, it might have looked odd.
    Artist gibbet? Now you’re talking.
    Everything that was about to be signed off is now on hold.

    Was a wide ranging discussion. A few laughs, a few tears, and much that I cannot actually put in writing.

    I’ve always been She-Ra compliant since the arse and boozie sculpture removal. Just think, we could have had that fucking clown Max Kaye.


  20. Rage says:

    I NEED that swan bling.


  21. poor lisa says:

    What shoes?


  22. “When is the city gonna build more City Farms around the place?”
    Jeez BCF, why not suggest we give Communism another try.


  23. Bento says:

    @23 – I don’t know LA, I think BCF might be onto something. Could a city farm be an effective end-run around the ‘royalties for regions’ debacle?


  24. skink says:

    Palin’s shoes:

    beware Tory politicians with a thing about shoes


  25. David Cohen says:

    What sort of biscuits did she proffer? Egalitarian Ginger Nuts, poncey expensive shortbread or pomo Ice Vo-Vos??


  26. I don’t know. I didn’t want anything. Just had a glass of water. I doubt it would have been gingernuts. We weren’t in Bayswater.


  27. Bento says:

    I’d assumed they would be City of Perth private label branded biscuits.


  28. Bespoke bikkies? I should have asked for one.


  29. skink says:

    perhaps you were too distracted by all the shiny things


  30. skink says:

    I just looked at the article on She-Ra that you posted under “Worst to the Nation”.

    I know I risk the wrath of Poor Lisa by raising the subject of a female politician’s appearance, but has She-Ra stacked it on a bit lately?

    it may account for the shortage of biscuits.


  31. She does have a lot of breakfasts to go to. She didn’t look too bad for someone who has to go to bacon breakfasts, business lunches and ceremonial dinners nearly every day. You do need to compare to Max Kaye as well.


  32. Cookster says:

    TLA, did you ask her to add her vote to The Perth Files poll: Should we develop the Perth waterfront?

    Yes, it’s in dire need of an extreme makeover 128 (60%)

    Yes, but only on a modest scale 43 (20%)

    No, leave it as is 28 (13%)

    Don’t care either way 12 (5%)

    It’s the ‘modest’ brigade that shits me almost as much as the ‘leave it as it is’ mob.


  33. “much that I cannot actually put in writing.” I blame Wittgenstein.


  34. That’s one of the few good things about the Barnett Govt – that we’re not going to have an extreme fuck-over of the foreshore. Don’t you remember Swan Island?


  35. Obviously not for the Cookster and his many and varied I.P. addresses think that a copy of the Colored Turd of Dubious Dubai on the foreshore was wunderbar.


  36. Bento says:

    Perhaps that area could be set aside the grazing paddocks for BCF’s network of city kibbutzim.


  37. Bento says:

    “… AS the grazing paddocks”, I mean. I feel I may owe Mr. Nurry an apology.


  38. Ljuke says:

    So what happens to the Ferris wheel after it’s one year stint on the foreshore? Is she sending it to Gomboc Gallery via tow truck?


  39. BCF says:

    Hey look I just wanna see more bloody Massey Fergusons around the place ok! – I love the smell of diesel, Tractors good – 4WDs bad!! Kibbutz shimutz! We’re talking Green cities people! Embracing the challenge, sharing the falafel!


  40. Cookster says:

    Oh, bubble-o-Bill! I’m yet to see your good self and that swarthy comedian TLA making the most of the famous Perth front lawn. Bring in the bobcats.

    Many IP addresses? Work and home, unless I’ve been cloned.

    TLA, Teh ‘Rage – you up for penning the next chapter of ‘daylight saving zombies?’


  41. I took in a delightful rendering of P E R T H in flowers down there yesterday while I was waiting for She-Ra.
    It’s done. Put down your bobcats.


  42. BCF says:

    When the shit hits the proverbial Ferris Wheel you’ll all be going Oh maybe old cracky B had a point, maybe $50 IS a bit much for my croissant and skiny latte’! Its all unravelling people! Bobcat those rose beds now!! Get ya turnips & ya melons in while theres still time.


  43. skink says:

    I wondered why there was a big PERTH sign on the foreshore

    I assumed that it was in case people were disorientated by daylight saving and didn’t know where they were.

    if you want to see the same old DS rants, check out Rattler’s blog.

    all the old favourites are being wheeled out – cows won’t milk, curtains will fade, men will get erections on the bus to work.


  44. Sattler still has a blog? I’ve told you, I’m not going there for anything of lesser value than “good riddance to his elderly Mum.”


  45. Rolly says:

    @ 44 skink

    ….”men will get erections on the bus to work.”

    Wot’s that got to do with the time of day? Eh? Eh??


  46. skink says:

    you get your morning glory an hour later than normal


  47. Rolly says:

    Ya know, just sometimes a bit of reason does slip into these diatribes.
    The dividing of the whole of the Perth foreshore into garden allotments with free subscriptions to the ABC’s ‘Gardening Australia” show might just be a way to reinvigorate the exhausted adrenals of the Metrocentric Twats (©2008 Rolly) who have yet to discover the joys of ‘getting dirt under yer fingernails’.
    Imagine the very idea that genuinely fresh F & V might become available to the jaded palates of the Greater Urban Ignorant (©2008 Rolly)
    Prolly though, ’twill only work if Coles/Woolies are prohibited from making attempts at closing them down.
    They’re adverse to anything likely to undermine their executive salaries.
    Education comes accompanied by the real threat that immoral commercial practices will be recognised.


  48. Rolly says:

    Skink, Morning Glory, in the singular, is a kind if creeping vine.
    Just one before smoko is deprivation.


  49. Bento says:

    The garden beds around the Kremlin have cabbages in them.

    Gentlemen, start your bobcats.


  50. Frank Calabrese says:

    Oh dear it seems Barnett will be a one term premier judging by the reaction to Troy’s Razor Gang.

    From the 7Newsmail.

    Howard Gretton’s looking at plans for every government department to slash their budget by three percent. Police, hospitals and schools will all be affected.

    What’s the bet they will quarentine the Bush from any Budget cuts and concentrate on the metro area.


  51. Rolly says:

    “What’s the bet they will quarentine the Bush from any Budget cuts and concentrate on the metro area.”
    And why the hell not, Frank?


  52. Bento says:

    It would take a lot of flowers to spell out D U M B L E Y U N G.


  53. cimbali says:

    Nice work LA. I really like the chain, don’t you think a larger pair of swans would make a great bra for She-Ra to wear on ceremonial occasions?
    Can you explain to me why everything is up in the air except the ferris wheel?
    Surely the ferris wheel is the only thing that needs to be up in the air.


  54. Midlandia says:

    Cimbali, the ferris wheel is already being shipped to Perth from overseas, thus why it hasn’t been thrown in the air. Everything else was more or less in the kite-flying phase, thus the ease in mothballing the projects.

    Rolly, it would be a silly move because using the figures Wikipedia provides, 73% of WA’s population live in the Perth metropolitan area alone. I’m not saying people in regional Australia are unimportant, far from it. However, slashing budgets all over the place isn’t going to make the rural hospitals better. Considering that the Liberals howled to high heaven about teh waiting lists, they will need to think very carefully about what gets cut.


  55. cimbali says:

    Derrr Midlandia
    I meant ferris wheel … big round thing, hoisted into the sky, up in the air we fly zoom zoom a zoom a zoom zoom, it needs to be up in the air in order to loom above us, in order to actually go around!
    Thus the ferris wheel is the only thing that should be up in the air


  56. Perhaps I should take over the air jokes?


  57. cimbali says:

    please do


  58. Extensive research has revealed that is the Paul Nurries Fear Arse wheel.


  59. BCF says:

    And the first thing to be mulched and ceremoniously fed to the worms in this utopian babylonian hanging garden is Paul Murray. You can chuck all the contents of that glass pyramid out for starters – bloody tropical blow-ins – rip up all your water guzzling ornamentals as well!

    The pathetic hypocracy of governments so called “sustainability” plans consistantly fail at the first hurdle. Politicians think gardening and solar passive design is a past time and a novelty.

    Agriculture is the most distructive activity on the face of the planet. Gardens produce food and promotes & engages community. Agriculture produces commodities for a remote market.


  60. Ok Comrade. That Howling Wolves has gone to your head.


  61. BCF says:

    And why are those businesses on the waterfront failing? Look at their rents! Drop their rents in exchange for the mandatory recycling of their waste and maintenance of local gardens which in turn go back into those same businesses (restuarants & lunchbars) – those businesses would throw away hundreds of kilos of green waste EVERY MONTH.

    Put into the composting systems of nearby gardens and back onto the menus cuts back transport costs and promotes quality local produce, it gives everyone a real idea of exactly why gardens are so important, how easily they can be set up, and provides benchmarks and training nurseries for the future.

    We talk about iconic architecture and symbols and art and culture but have absolutely no idea where our food comes from and what it takes and actually costs to get it on our plates!


  62. BCF says:

    sorry, sorry,sorry, pulling head in now!


  63. Composting toilets in Council House?


  64. Cingiali says:

    I used to read this blog before it sold out.


  65. Dear “Wild Boar” Cingiali, let me assure you that they are the people’s cufflinks. When I wear them, I will be literally be wearing you all on my sleeves.


  66. Bento says:

    Seems like BCF has been consuming some of the products of his backyard.


  67. You can grow mandrax? I thought you cooked it up?


  68. Bento says:

    Sorry. By ‘backyard’ I meant ‘meth lab in his shed’.


  69. Rolly says:

    You know, BCF, that a pipeline to carry water to the goldfields is just a crackpot idea proposed by the same depressive idiot who proposed dynamiting the reef outside Fremantle in order to provide shipping access to the Swan River.
    Your silly proposal to utilise the green waste from the local restaurants for composting etc. has just about as much merit.
    Go shoot yourself.


  70. Rolly says:

    How does having 73 percent of the population justify the historical expentiture of 80+ percent of the taxation income in the metropolitan area?


  71. BCF says:

    I’m here all week! Thankyou everyone :)


  72. Rolly says:

    Ahh, Caro Cingiali,

    It’s only the originator of this blog who has sold out in the manner fashionable amongst one-time student agitators when they subsequently strive for middle-aged respectability.
    There will always remain the faithful commenters; true to the cause of anti-establishmentarianism in all it’s glory.
    Viva l’eccentricità.


  73. BCF says:

    The Bounty of She Ra stares her in the face out that view every day – what an awesome canvas!


  74. What part of People’s Cufflinks don’t you pigs understand?


  75. “How does having 73 percent of the population justify the historical expentiture of 80+ percent of the taxation income in the metropolitan area?”

    I’m from the wheatbelt and 20% of revenue spent in the regions still sounds way too high. Throw it down a composting toilet for a better result.


  76. skink says:

    Nurry has done a “how can we improve Perth” blog

    I encourage you to offer your suggestions, and keep the moderator busy

    and try not to use the C-word


  77. Bento says:

    Nothing like a 2 hour moderation delay to foster lively debate…


  78. Lazy Aussie says:

    Can I really be bothered to look at Knowallus Blowhardus? Since TWOP is blocked at the west anyway, there’s no chance any of my comments will go up. If I could be bothered, I’d be saying that “If you pussies were allowed to look at The Worst of Perth, you’d find this question more than adequately covered.”


  79. skink says:

    I tried:” Perth would be greatly improved if it had a quality daily newspaper”, but it was unlikely to get posted.


  80. Bento says:

    I corrected his description of residents as “West Australians” (the paper is The West Australian, residents are Western Australians), and suggested he apologise to his English teacher. I suspect my comment, too, is unlikely to get posted.


  81. skink says:

    there is a brick wall outside my office

    perhaps we could go bang our heads against it


  82. Rolly says:

    @ 82 skink.

    Promise to clean up the blood after?


  83. Scurrilous says:


    It’s not the despair that kills you, it’s the hope.

    Don’t make me hope things could be better.


  84. Please note.
    Some people are under the impression that I was being ironic when I said I received a personal invite to meet The Lord Mayor. Not so. Deadly serious. Spent over half an hour there.


  85. skink says:

    and in return you got two shiny pieces of silver.

    I thought the going rate was thirty pieces of silver?

    you sold yourself out on the cheap


  86. Bedford Crackpot Fraternity says:

    Whehey!! BCF strikes the Nurries blog under cover!! Thanks for the BoatingCampingFishing Tip Outrage :)


  87. Well they won’t be the people’s cufflinks if you take that attitude.


  88. Bedford Crackpot Fraternity says:

    They actually put this up!

    We should round up every politician and drop them all unceremoniously into a concentration camp and teach them all to become gardeners!

    Heads of industry should also be required to shovel compost at least twice a week to keep fit and meditate on their evil ways!

    All major institutions should recycle their food waste and there should be a governmental department for nappy pick-up,flushing and composting where nappy poos are turned into soluble fertiliser.

    Night soil should once again be collected like the old days if composting toilets are’nt installed in homes.

    And finally water tanks should be installed on higher ground properties and designed into the topography of the metropolitan suburbs to gravity feed the lower neighbourhood community gardens! This would also eradicate white ants and slaters!


  89. David Cohen says:

    Had my Howling Wolves last night. It was most potable! I should have left it there, but after a variety of vintages I feel a touch under the weather this morning.


  90. skink says:

    I look forward to an update tomorrow regarding the colour of your stools


  91. skink says:

    Crikey finally acknowledges TWOP with a link:

    I shall cut and paste the whole piece, and Cohen can swivel:

    “Steven McKiernan writes: Dear Boss, thanks for the item regarding the part-time Melbourne Lord Mayor. Perth has a full-time Mayor is Lisa Scaffidi and surprisingly is doing a good job, a big improvement on the gynaecologist the City had before, Dr Peter Nattrass. But dear Lisa, or She-Ra, as she is also known, needs to be full-time. She was assisted by the Deputy Lord Mayor, one Michael Sutherland, who was able to bring his full intelligence to bear on the demands of the City of Perth, but alas he has new intense distractions elsewhere.

    He was surprisingly elected to the Legislative Assembly seat of Mount Lawley as the local Member. Surprisingly as the seat was notionally Labor 5% prior to the election and the ALP ran a strong candidate in Karen Brown. Surprisingly as Michael doesn’t live or work in the electorate, though he has been known to swing a racquet at Mt Lawley Tennis Club, he lives in the Morley electorate and his solicitor’s office is in Maylands electorate.

    So while She-Ra works full-time, Michael acts as her deputy in the Council, when he isn’t representing my electorate of Mount Lawley. We pay $130k for a part-time member? And he has the gall as a very junior and inexperienced back bencher to be Deputy Speaker and to put his hand up for Parl Sec and Ministerial positions! “


  92. Rolly says:

    Oh! Dear!
    Crickey snaffling our pet names for the worst of our public personalities.
    Let them try that with my “Metrocentric Twats”©2007Rolly, and I’ll sue. (Or, at least, try to find someone with the brass, fiscal and cervical, to do it for me.)
    New Bastards. (You should copyright that LA before the Lesser Eastern Seaboard Parody Pinchers get a hold on it.)


  93. Frank Calabrese says:

    Speaking of She-Ra, don’t forget the Back Tp The Fiuture Daylight Xmas Pagaent on sunday, where She Ra will cut the Ribbon to officially launch the Parade with Santa – this is an ideal opportunity to get those crappy worst pics of the floats, which no doubt Ch 7 are glad they don’t have to spend the money on Car Batteries to light the damned things.

    Also, I predict people will be ringing 6PR on Monday Morning complaining about it being too early and there no being enough trains etc DESPITE Transperth putting on extra services.


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