Weekend Worstoff

Welcome to the first Weekend Worstoff. Since it was taking me so much longer to do this type of wrap up, I’m going to make Weekend Worstoffs last the whole weekend from now. Since there is more than double the content, it should last you through two days without too much whingeing. I had the idea that these would be mostly outside material, but here I am giving you at least 4 original photos again. What’s wrong with me?

Now last week, Skink was kind enough to explain the term “Spanish” from The West personals. OK, then Skink what’s a Sicilian Secretary? They cut your nurries off, shove them in your mouth and then do your banking? Or as Bedford crackpot suggested, you wake up with a horse’s head ?

Worst fan Poetsquib emailed me this week with an amusing list of Perth Hairdresser name pun/crimes. Thanks squibby. Many of them will be even more distasteful as they are probably ripped off. I hope you saw Anysex Hair Squib. Not a pun, but fantastic. Weekend Worstoff is a chance to air some of my world worsts. Squib’s list of hairdressers gives me the excuse to put up a picture of a beauty salon or “Beauty Saloon” I saw in Beijing. You may well need a drink after the leader cut if Mao’s hair was anything to go by.

I went down to see the arse and boozie sculpture in its new home at Gomboc Gallery on the weekend. It has been parked next to another of the same artist’s (sans assistance from the yoof) pieces. It actually does fit the new location quite well. Gomboc’s sculpture park has a large collection of works, some shiny new, some in disrepair, some returning to the soil like this one. It is an interesting place to visit. Golden1 sent me what she thought must be a tribute to the arse and Boozie in Camberwell Melbourne. It is also painted by yoof. Why can’t these youths keep their damned legs together?

Some nice worst seen via 1+1=3 Design. For those that love Valiant Chargers, Toranas, George Lazenby, wise cracking Asians and Kung Fu, (and who doesn’t?). The trailer from the Man from Hong Kong. “What were you expecting, acupuncture?” I have just realised that it is the same director (Brian Trenchard Smith) that made the worst of Perth classic The Day of The Panther. A movie I actually worked on. 6 degrees of worst.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst advertising, worst of perth, worst public art, worst sculpture and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Weekend Worstoff

  1. lauredhel says:

    I dunno, a Beauty Saloon sounds quite appealing to me. “Free beer with every trim and blow-dry!”


  2. You’d get to kick the door in every time you went for a trim. Or the piano would stop mid phrase as you entered,


  3. squib says:

    I’m just wondering if someone is going to be directed here by googling ‘sicilian secretary arse and boozie hong kong trailer’… you never know


  4. Oh, I meant to add some search results. They are often stranger than that.


  5. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Now last week, Skink was kind enough to explain the term “Spanish” from The West personals. OK, then Skink what’s a Sicilian Secretary? ]

    I’m VERY tempted to link that advert and the State Member for Ballajura and his current problems in rejoining the ALP, but Defamation laws prevent me saying it.


  6. I can dig it Daddyo


  7. Big Ramifications says:

    “The House of Bondy” in Ardross. Would anyone driving past realise it’s a men’s barbers? Full marks for NOT going down the pun path, nor even describing what service their business offers.

    Run by Italians, too. Opera playing in the background, the full box and dice. House of Bondy. Italian barbers. WTF?

    And of course, my pet nickname for “The House of Bondy” was……?

    …Haven’t lived near there for a while. It was there for 25-ish years – a veritable institution – but might have disappeared by now. Apologies if I’m confusing some of you young&hungsters.


  8. David Cohen says:

    This week someone in Tel Aviv came to Rotto Bloggo after Googling “woman tie up men”. S/he was very dedicated, as it was around the 75th page of returned results…


  9. So what was the connection? Was it about a boat? “She was tied up at the Army Jetty”.


  10. Mango says:

    Big Ram – yep, the house of bondy is still there…


  11. So no-one knows or will tell me what a “Sicilian Secretary” means?


  12. poor lisa says:

    Roger’s Profanisaurus (the 2,000-word online version) is silent on the matter.

    My guess it’s something to do with… dictation and hot cured sausage.

    I NEVER want to see gomboc gallery. It’s bad enough coming across these things unexpectedly, while minding your own business in a park or a street, without actively seeking them out.


  13. SkyLantern says:

    “Private treat
    Sicilian secretary
    Very discreet”

    Nice poetry. Titillating alliteration?

    After reading this weekend’s naughty personals in the Worst newspaper, I turned to the front page to find the announcement of a crappy photo competition called “Scenes from our Spectacular State”!!! Is this an attempt to counter the influence of TWOP’s view???


  14. Mez says:

    If’n Gomboc was prepared to take that ugly lump on-board into what used to be quite a good gallery/sculpture park then I would like to nominate them as the FIRST in the Worst Art Gallery

    Now that I thinka it, I’m surprised that this category does not exist already. I’m sure it would attract many many nominees.


  15. Art Heretic says:

    Big fat lump’n rock
    like’n leafs in autumn drop
    into Middle Swan


  16. skink says:

    why am I supposed to know what a Sicilian Secretary is?

    if you’re that curious, why don’t you just ring the lady and ask her, rather than bother me?

    I did what everybody else did, which is to Google it and get directed right back to this page. keep posting these ads and you’re gonna get some very odd people finding their way here. er…too late

    Like Lisa, I checked the profanisaurus, but without joy. The only thing I have found is a practice called the “Hot Sicilian”, but I don’t think it would be something this lady might offer:



  17. You knew Spanish, so you’re the TWOP sexpert.


  18. skink says:

    heth eth heth eth eth boutros boutros gali



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