Truck Gal

Natalia Fan #1 dropped this on my desk, inexplicably stained with what I assume was semen. (Urine NF#1?) He does however make a wonderful point about the confluence of worsts on this flyer. Max Kay, Alannah,  even fucking Gina Rinehart will be there. What a wonderful thing to behold on Tim Winton’s birthday. Here’s hoping that the book will be even worse than it looks. With Max and Gina on hand, chances are it will be an absolute stinker. I think Natalia Fan#x was looking for Truck Chicks with Dicks when he found this, possibly explaining the stain on the back.The only person to have any claim to be not worst would be Alannah, who has her supporters, as shown by Outrage’s photo on The Arrondisement.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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79 Responses to Truck Gal

  1. Bento says:


    The 1930s telegraphed, they want their slang back.


  2. Paracleet says:

    I was thinking the clear intention was to gas them all when they got in there. Like selective gathering for a cull. But whats the point with Rineheart not actually there in Person?


  3. Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

    Hot bitch. No photo of the stain TLA? I think we need to see it. We could have another poll


  4. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Truck gal fest up with the Kelster, Ginnie and haircut. No wonder NF#2 can’t contain his excitement. Lannie is , of course, the original truck gal , prior to turning her haircut to trains.


  5. The Legend 101 says:

    Truck girls hey what about the mums and there pimped four wheel drives now that is bad.


  6. Rob says:

    Needs more She Rah.


  7. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Thought you might like it TLA. The flyer was in my pocket for much of a somewhat louche weekend which may or may not have involved truck “chicks”, so do draw your own conclusions as to the stain.

    I’m betting that “a special message from Gina” will consist in a prerecorded video appearance, but no matter – still a frightful conjunction.

    Given the location, I’m also wager that the “I Heart Alannah” bumper sticker most likely refers to the “unique and whimsical” Alannah Hill, rather than our own Alannah.


  8. skink says:

    do truck gals make that beeping sound when they back up?

    I like that the term ‘Australian icon’ is so debased that it can refer to someone you never heard of standing in a drafty lobby on a midweek lunchtime trying to flog a book.

    By that definition all sellers of the ‘Big Issue’ are now icons.

    I took a look at her vanity publisher. They reserve the right to produce films or documentaries ‘which may appear similar to your work’ without acknowledging your rights. Sweet.

    I misread the flyer and thought it said ‘ a special massage from Gina Rinehart’,

    that spoilt my dinner.


    • skink says:

      please take teh time to look at their stable of authors and speakers:

      there is a bloke bottom right called ‘Elbabe’ who looks suspiciously like our friend Jesper wearing sunnies so we won’t recognize him.

      I was very disappointed to find that the nom-de-plume ‘Bobby Magic’ is already taken.

      and on the second page is a woman who chose to release a publicity photo of herself eating a pie. No doubt she only does speaking engagements for the ‘light refreshments’


      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        I’m kicking myself I didn’t look up the publisher’s website before, Skink. What a cavalcade of worsts. Particularly liking this one, if only for the author’s surname. They even have a whole section (albeit with only one book) for S.E.T.I.


      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        ‘I AM NOT A MAN is undoubtedly this year’s best read. With a running commentary that is as honest as it is brutal in delivering the answers to the top of mind thought you just had.
        ***** for I AM NOT A MAN’ — Industry Coverage #IMA9732

        Jesus, I’m gonna be reading this all night.


        • “…the answers to the top of mind thought you just had.”
          Is that a direct quote? If so, does it have a meaning?


          • Natalia Fan #1 says:

            Direct quote – check out the website.


            • Shreiking Wombat says:


              “1. A dynamic collection of futurists with their sights set on solutions to Global Warming and improved sustainability, while devoted to adding value to all of mankind’s living standards.
              2. An innovative development and design company, made up of creatives and marketeers, with a passion for planning and design, an eye for select product manufacturing, a taste for publishing and marketing, and the necessary tools and infrastructure with which to tackle wholesale outlets and retail distribution especially via the internet.
              3. Within the perspective of the innovations arena, a team of farsighted talent offering unique and high-end brand design ideas and options, creative floor plan layouts and ultimately useable real-world marketing tools innovators and developers can use for presenting their vision and ideas when they go to communicate with manufacturers.”

              Is the emphasis on cash, because I have never heard such a load of complete bollocks in all my life. Apart from elections I mean.


      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        What a pity the “speaker” photos aren’t linked to the books – I’m desperate to find out what Bogun Girl has written.


      • B.T. says:

        I’d pay real money to hear Bobby Magic compare and contrast “The Night I Went Out With Tracy” and “Getting Shafted”.


    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      I bet she’s got strong hands.


  9. Hugh Jass says:

    Cash only? Fuck that.


  10. You’ll note they’re raising funds for “mental health” in WA. I’ll have some of what they’re having….


  11. Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

    I’m willing to bet that Truck Girl is xxx xxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx. (The book, I mean.)


  12. I’ve ordered “From Bullcatcher to Driller”!!!!! Hope I get an autographed copy!


    • ….”Getting pulled over by the cops — and asked to leave town —several times!”
      Not even Winton writes like that.
      “He was diving. Underwater. The bubbles, like cracked diamonds, were flung in his face…he was drowning. Then he was asked to leave town.”


      • It just got better!!!!
        “Now boasting massive experience on jack ups and semis, the only thing JC has left to do is man a drillship. Welcome to JC’s High Octane world of HEAVY FUEL!”
        I’ve got an iron hard Chumby!!!!!!!!


  13. ronggly says:

    This is great, muchos gracias NF1 + Skink.
    My fave so far ?
    Getting Shafted by Bob Bingley Watchorn
    “the unexaggerated real-life story and adventures of a geologist”
    I can’t wait for my copy to arrive. I’ve known a few crazy geologists in my
    time up north, and I’m interested to see if there’s any mention of
    Crackers or Slack in this memoir.


  14. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Nice to see that Acashic seem to have picked up a bit of business, re HFP and ronggly.


  15. bretto says:

    ure all fucked big mouth,s no balls


  16. WAtching says:

    Nikki Defenders?
    Pretty stupid.

    BnS lovin’ Bumpkins?
    Fucking retarded.

    The new breed?
    Is it just me or is troll quality on the way down.


  17. bretto says:

    brain dead is that it , sweet u have a nice night


  18. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Caught the tail end of the book launch yesterday. Max was still there but Alannah had left. Book is worst beyond yo possible imaginings – a slim volume of around 100 pages of butcher’s paper with an intriguing colour photo middle insert. Photos suggest that Kellster may have had some career other than truck driving xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx. Scary bikie looking dude at the back of the room may well be our own inimitable Bretto. Might I add that at 12.45pm I counted around 20 attendees in total. Anyways, good on ’em for trying to raise some money for mental health charities.


  19. Pingback: Irrational Hatreds #5 The wisdom of Justin Langer | The Worst of Perth

  20. The Legend 101 says:

    Is Alannah the girl or the poster by any chance?


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