Thanks to Brendan for this shot. We’ve worsted down Margaret river way before, with Howling Wolves (Who have yet to send me bottle one for all the promotion I’ve done for them.) This however looks like a bad joke. Can drinkers really be attracted by koalas having sex? Aren’t koalas being wiped out by sexually transmitted disease? Hello people, there are no koalas in WA, why make them a selling point? Why not use a local Margaret River emblem like the wanker? At least Howling Wolves didn’t have the poor judgement to have one wolf throwing a leg over. Surely the agency would have been arguing strongly that the name bare rooted, a vine growing term would be enough to make the joke without making everyone concerned look like a dickhead?
Perhaps the agency consult went like this.
Agency Metrosexual: Love the name. Got a classy logo of vine roots for you, it’s also suggestive of a river…
Client: We want a koala knobbing another koala.
Agency Metrosexual: But don’t you think just having rooted in the name is sufficient? There aren’t even any koalas in the region…
Client: We want koalas fucking, you gardenia scented cocksucker!
Agency Metrosexual: Perhaps two koalas smiling at each other..? Holding hands..?
Client: Listen lunchbox, if our logo doesn’t have one koala with its dick up another koala, we’ll get ourselves a new metrosexual.
Agency Metrosexual: Koalas fucking it is.
Their website is plain stupid, with the inane question, “Have you seen a koala bare?” It then asks you to click to see the answer, which is “We have.” Does that even mean anything? Why invite a click if there’s no payoff or joke? You then are invited to torture yourself further, if you like that question by receiving another question, which is, “Have you seen a bare rooted?” The hilarious response is “We have.” Graduates of clown college, they are not. Further invites bring up the same question over and over again. Why? There are so many questions as to how this could have gone so terribly wrong. It’s awful from arsehole to breakfast. I hope the wine is better than the graphic design, web design or humour skills of the participants.
On the other hand, I’m still open to sponsorship talks Bare Rooted. With just one pallette of piss, you could get yourself half a million views in 2010. Get your koalas to wash their hands and talk to my people.