What’s the deal with me not being on Perth A List? More to the point, what’s the deal with alcohol distributors not slipping me a case or two. Howling Wolves! Where are you bastards? That Spanish wine with the label that looked like tits? Nothing! The only ones that have come to the party have neen Air New Zealand to the tune of one fucking bottle! Maybe stories of the infamous Mainstay Rum Launch which I was videoing at The Merlin Hotel (now Hyatt) in 1983 have been holding everyone back. I seem to remember prawns on the barbecue next to the Merlin pool, then a long blank period. Later in the evening, rings were puked. Punches might even have been thrown. Or was the vomiting brought on by the slogan “You can stay as you are for the rest of your life, or you can change to Mainstay.”? In any case, piss purveyors, what better publicity. If the TWOP enourage at The Brisbane the other day is anything to go by, this is your prime fucking demographic. You’ll get a couple of pars of insouciant prose and an audience of thousands. 
Worst Talk
Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… AHC McDonald on The Montegiallo School of… Anonymous on The Montegiallo School of… Anonymous on The Knock Shop of Broken … Anonymous on The Knock Shop of Broken … 
The Definitive Ranki… on Kalamunda, Australia’s u… AHC McDonald on The Montegiallo School of… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Mr Fist Anonymous on The Montegiallo School of… Blood on Review: “The Montegiallo Schoo… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Online Now
The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
The problem TLA, is that alcohol companies won’t give you/us booze because we are already buying their delicious nectar.
What we need to do is start criticising various wine and beers and the cartons will start flowing to placate our searing words.
Once word is on the street that TWOP dislikes a particular tipple the phones will be (metaphorically) jumping off the hook and you/we can wallow in happy oblivion forever.
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These things require a little more imagination richarbl. It’s never enough to just speak lowly of a product. One must talk as if they were once a fan, than experienced some bitter disappointment. The intended company will be open then to winning back your patronage with goodies.
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It’s worth a shot.
I fucking hate Penfolds Grange 1990!
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my very first vintage of Grange that i had to pay out on a bet onnie – at least i got to share it.
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So……is it shit or not?
(Off topic for a sec, my kids and I watched “Step Brothers” last night – they were quoting it to me this morning – funny shit!)
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Onan had kids? Semen mixed with dirt?
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They’re adopted – they’ll find out when they read this thread tonight.
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well, at the time i was drinking it with a hot, rich guy in front of an open fire concentrating on getting laid so it tasted great.
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Are we still talking about Grange?
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These days I would much prefer to lounge in front of a fire and focus on the Grange unhindered by thoughts of coitus. (sorry mr shazza) A sure sign I overdid the rooting thing in my earlier days.
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After Saturday night, I’d rather lounge in front of the fire and focus on the fire, unhindered by recollections of alcohol consumption.
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It either wears out or rusts out, shazza.
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yep, i finished the grange first – not keen on mixing flavours
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Not keen on the lick, sip, suck?
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you can get a mouthful of sprog anytime onnie, but i was never sure when i’d be drinking Grange again:) so i had to prioritise.
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I got some grange and mixed it with lemonade.
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thats probably a bit like the port and lemonades we mix up for my tea totalling mum at christmas so she retracts her claws and becomes human for a while:)
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a hot rich guy?
was he sat too close to the open fire?
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One can never say that the girls of Twop are too classy for us guys.
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oh rich, is it because i said the sprog word?
is class truly measured by words on a blog?
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All said tongue in cheek… so to speak
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Just the tongue then?
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Sure, why not.
Hey what happened to your avatar?
I had you pictured as a some sort of anal retentive school ma’am and then some sort of simplistic Egyptian possum and then back again, weird huh?
Hey this Mainstay is fucken alright!
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suck or swallow?
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One can never say that the girls of TWOP are too classy for us guys.
More intelligent perhaps, maybe funnier, I will even entertain thoughts of a higher emotional evolution but never classier, never
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no skinkaroo, i mean hot like filthy, gorgeous,
disgusting and nasty.
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The sister on the right is really, really ugly.
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agreed! but boy can he dance.
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Just because its you mp I watched the video well half of it, before pausing to vomit.
I respect your choice in dancers but why not someone who knows what a G spot is?
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a girl can only think about her g-spot for so long rich (and for me that’s probably about 23 hours a day), before she needs to experience other types of excitement.
you know the rich tapestry and all that :)
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“it attained national status by 1967′
WTF?
this bottle is an independent country?
did it attend CHOGM?
who is the king of this country?
can I be king?
“is as special to this country as Bundaberg Rum is to Queensland bogans”
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You will always be on the A List of our hearts. No velvet ropes shall deny you access to our ventricles, no surly bouncers to lamp you and drag you by your shirt collar from our collective aortas.
That analogy got creepy even quicker than I expected.
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That’s not creepy- it’s kinda sweet ljuke
TLA: am working on it already!!
TWOP will have an official beer even if it has to come straight from my pocket.
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I mean even if i have tro pay for it.
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Aw so sweet. I will allow you in anytime.
You missed out on me baiting you. Someone said “You guys are losers”, and I said “you sound like WAtching”.
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That was me Ljuke, and I was careful to say loosers, not losers.
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I know Lj! I would have played had i been able to.
As fate had it i had computer problems for three days immediately after the shindig. I am sure TLA thought i had become “another statistic”.
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The only Gavin I know is a complete cunt. He attends B&S’s and does circlejerks in his ute. Fucken country bumpkin. and he drinks that foul cats piss Bundy
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Yeah, I fucking hate Bundaberg Rum too!
(Good one Orbea, hopefully we get some in time for Christmas)
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bundy – shocking, absolutely shocking……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu_MpE48CgI
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1983? How fucking old are you TLA?
I wasn’t even aware of the existence of rum in 1983, let alone able to video it.
But closer to home, may I say, I think they’ve changed something down Freo way. I used to love Little Creatures Pale Ale, but the beer has changed for the worse ever since they opened the Melbourne branch. I think they’ve compromised quality in their push for a larger market share. How un-Freo!! Time to move headquarters up to Mosman Park!
Or send 3 cases to:
CB One
c/o TWOP
Somewhere just west of Kalgoorlie
I’m prepared to give it another crack.
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Oh, i get it (less direct).
Many years ago, I was seducing this horny blonde in my bachelor pad in Dalkeith. The bottle of Grange 1990 that we drank by the open fire tasted great.
Ever since then, every vintage has displeased my palate.
Mr Penfolds when you read this please email me and we can discuss some freebies!
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apparently we’ve got it all wrong and you guys have the good stuff close to home:
http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,26445507-5008620,00.html
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Claims to sovereignty notwithstanding, that is a curiously self-effacing promotional blurb.
“We used to be very popular with the nig-nogs and wogs (assorted, but particularly Indians), but we’re not as popular these days as we used to be.”
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but it is drunk by thousands of consumers.
yes, thousands.
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Me, I am drinking Bintang ’til it it comes out my nose (or other parts – depending on how well the class has been washed). When I’m not drinking Bintang then a Bali Storm will do the trick. Still waiting for the wilderbeast to make an appearance though.
RED DAWN
“Bronze Ale” – 5.4%Alc. – Rich and tasty. A complex full-flavoured chestnut-coloured ale. Sweet malt in the mouth balanced by honeyed hop notes. Best enjoyed with anticipation, a large gathering of friends, or alone with a Wilderbeest on the beach at sunset.
Bali Storm
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Red Dawn?
What? Where?
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as a poor student, and wood alcohol not being fancied, the drink of max alcohol units per cent…. was stout. The advantage also was not many people stole it at parties, unless it was well into the wee small hours then anything at all was consumed by any-one left standing.
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So true. You should try brewing your own. No one goes near it unless you insist. Malthouse in Welshpool is particularly good for learners.
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Ljuke: I wish.
I have to call in a security mob to defend the premises whenever I crack a bottle or two of a well cellared brew.
Mind you, I do have friends with rather refined tastes.
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Polish Pure Spirit – gets you drunker than a lord very quickly and removes all sorts of stains from garments. Even jizz Monkeypants.
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