Success – Toilet Style

Turf came through with a classic worst (in fact several, all of which will feature soon), from the Perth suburb of Success. When you live in a place called Success, why would you need to clear a broken toilet from the front lawn? Looks like it would be easier to read the paper on the bog. Come on people you’re not living in Yangebup, lift your standards.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst garden, worst toilet and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to Success – Toilet Style

  1. What really horrifies me about houses like that is how utterly inappropriate for the australian climate they are.

    Black roof, no eaves or verandah – how is this even legal?


  2. David Cohen says:

    They get the paper though. Could be worse.


  3. skink says:

    I always thought this suburb should be pronounced Suck-cess.

    perhaps the cesspit was sucking so hard it broke the crapper.


  4. Paracleet says:

    What do they need the paper delivered for? Their toliet is non-functional.


  5. I think that toilet would be nice roof mounted.


  6. Re: innappropriate design Peter. Have a look at this previously discussed here.


  7. Adam says:

    I’ve always had a major problem with rubbish bins being left right by the front door, as is this case. Imagine a nice warm 30+° day, you’ve got all the doors and windows open to catch the breeze. Then you catch a whiff of last week’s meatloaf that’s quietly decomposing in the bin. Yum.


  8. Kwality says:

    it beats the meatloaf decomposing in the kitchen/lounge/bedroom because the bin is just too damn far away.

    Clearly these people have determined what works for them! Next: wheelie bin in the lounge.


  9. Rolly says:

    The winds *really* were strong there the other day, weren’t they.
    I wonder where the rest of the dunny landed.


  10. Cookster says:

    Don’t fucking start on wheelie bins. We had some bloke read the gas metre today and in the process moved the bin – full of heavy shit – out into the driveway so that Mrs Cookster could back into it on her way out.

    She’s caught it on the side and now we have a large dent in the people mover.

    Fucking gas man robs me via the metre and now he wants to fuck my car as well.


  11. forkboy1971 says:

    In terms of funtionality this is a revolution. I think we could all really learn something from this cutting edge design. NO more lingering smells or religious callers. Excellent. Why hide the shitter out back??….be proud of the poo. Lay pipe on the front lawn with the neighbours. Chat, have a laugh, create community. Today… Im proud to be an Aussie.


  12. forkboy1971 says:

    I know people….who know people Cookster (if you know what I mean)……best rates ……call me.


  13. Groucho says:

    I am curious about the gravetone and the makings of the below ground pool…and who puts a tap in the middle of the lawn ? This is either trick photography or it is a back yard not a front yard otherwise the matching outdoor patio furniture would have been knocked off by now.


  14. The paper wouldn’t be delivered to the back though.


  15. Just checked. Turf says it’s front lawn. I cropped it a little too. It is a front lawn. I reckon it’s a failed fish pond with the tap next to it.


  16. Groucho says:

    I hear the Success paperboy it quite a tosser.


  17. Cookster says:

    LA – the whole suburb has failed. Rename it Failure. And when Condomeezer Rice is in Perth next week, let’s take her there as part of a TWOP tour. Lunch is at the Firecracker. BYO Coolabah.


  18. forkboy1971 says:

    At least I know where to plant that nuke Ive had stashed away for a rainy day.


  19. Cookster says:

    LA – just got TWOP and The Perth Files a plug on Rusty Woolfe’s show regarding where they should take the Rice Woman. How about a toilet tour through Success…


  20. flynn says:

    In my childhood, every front garden had a tap whereby all us passing kids could get a cool drink, free, without any plastic containers. And no-one minded us coming onto the property to get it as long as we turned off the tap and didn’t stomp all over the garden. In this case , it might be an improvement.


  21. You have your toilets on the back lawn in melbourne? Oh la dee dah.


  22. “Fucking gas man robs me via the metre and now he wants to fuck my car as well.”

    Hey cooksta – I have it on good authority if the gas meter reader is f*cking your wife he leaves the bin in the driveway as a secret signal


  23. FX, if you’re quoting someone who says fucking, you don’t need to use * for your own profanity. There is no language restrition on the worst of perth. I thought the bin was the postie’s signal, or am I thinking of a motorbike idling in the driveway?


  24. #19. Cookster are you spamming 6WF? I think I’ve talked to Russell a couple of times. I recently sent a scathing email regarding their totally crappy and amateur online/blog presence, so maybe I’m not so popular at the moment.


  25. Turf says:

    I took that photo, it is definitely the front lawn.
    It was on a fairly new and neat street, making it stand out all the more.
    How does a loo end up left on the front lawn, or even the back lawn, I ask you.


  26. Cookster says:

    TLA – sent him an email suggesting he check out our sites… not so much spamming as ‘jammin mon – respec’. He actually said TWOP was a ‘great site’.

    As far as the good wife’s concerned, she is quite keen for the gas man’s genitalia to be removed by a pruning saw and fed to the local crow population.


  27. Groucho says:

    I only had doubts about the “front/back” thing because a slightly used 3 piece (includes dunny) patio setting like that would have been long gone in any other neighbourhood. Plus I can see part of the the u bute vute parked in the drive.


  28. TLA – I quoted profanity but politely refrained from using it myself to show my sofistykashon.

    Cookster – Wife’s wishes noted – Jumpin Jack Flash hes a gas gas gas


  29. Yeah , erm I feel a bit guilty about this one. I had a bit too much choof ( it’s a dull job but someone’s got to do it) b4 starting work and run off the road , skittled the paperboy and cleaned up one I’d installed .It’s all the rage around Success to have a front yard shitter. Incidentally Failure is the suburb next door AKA BeerLiar. Yeah and Cookster that’s what all the wives’d say , this lady was more than frendly.


  30. David Cohen says:

    haiku #6164:

    Straining for success
    In the out-house is risky:
    The south wind is strong.


  31. Full moon descending
    An S bend moans in the wind
    Paperboy screaming


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  33. schlub says:

    I am puzzled how Cooksters wife could hit a GIGANTIC wheelie bin in their driveway. Was she even looking as she came hurtling out of the garage? What if a kid (or the gas man) happened to be standing there instead? And if you don’t have a garage then why wasn’t it noticed in the journey from the front door to the car?


  34. Cookster says:

    Plunger diving deep
    Seeking rich reward
    Blind mullet swimming free


  35. Cookster says:

    Schlub, Schlub, Schlub… there are many elements involved here. Best you give me your home telephone number and I’ll have the wife call you to talk you through it. You’ll find she’s quite descriptive.


  36. Cookster, are you making up your own haiku rules? Count those fucking syllables BEFORE you light up a herring.


  37. Cookster says:

    Bah, go fire up a crab stick! Not only did I fail a Liz Jolley creative writing unit, I also decided to give poetry a big miss when it came to that syllable counting shite. I thought poetry was about drinking alot and not having to write too many words.


  38. Cookster cannot count
    haiku rules fly out window
    Jolley fails to teach


  39. forkboy says:

    polywaffle float
    on a golden river home
    the paperboy waits


  40. forkboy says:



  41. Cookster says:

    There once was a man called Lazy
    Whose brain was very hazy
    He smoked a fish and cooked a joint
    and listened to Hayzee Fantayzee


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