Shangriloon

From the magazine for crackpots, Nova, comes this ad. Meditate as deeply (in fact more deeply) than a Zen monk? Despite some careful breathing and chanting, Zen monks were mightily pissed off at this ad, seeing that some of them had wasted up to 70 years honing their meditation skills. It’s a wonder the monks didn’t go all Shaolin on Nova’s arse.

Mind you the monks could have seen it coming if they had called this creature. Her accuracy as well as her head are equally unnerving. Have you ever read Nova? I’d rather read the West’s prostitute ads than these. Ugh.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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11 Responses to Shangriloon

  1. flynn says:

    If she already knows so much about me, then she will know I am not going to ring cos I’m not that stupid.
    Or is she a stalker????

    Like

  2. Unfortunately she already knows your credit card number.

    Like

  3. David Cohen says:

    The photo in the second ad looks a lot like our friend Helen. We had no idea she had a new venture at $3.50/minute. That’s $210/hour. She’s never been especially insightful before.

    Like

  4. I thought there was a touch of the Pam Casellas in there.

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  5. Pammies running a charlatan line now that’s sumpin’.
    Caller : ” Now what’s in the future for me , Pammie ?”
    Pammie : ” I forecast that your pussy will feel a little sore”
    Caller : ( now worried ) : ” My pussy !?”
    Pammie: ” Yes your pussycat will develop a sore tummy but the vet will cure him”
    ( I don’t want to hear any complaints about Mrs Slocum jokes O.K)

    Like

  6. Russell says:

    Surely we’re all devoted Nova readers – and there’s a lot of text to read. There you are on page 13 (June 2008 issue) having finished the “Blessings Feature” and resting your eyes on the half-page ad for the internationally acclaimed mind body healing expert Brandon Bays. Brandon looks sparklingly healthy (amazing what a bit of work and a daily colonic irrigation can do) and willing to impart some wisdom (well, probably enough of it to get you to buy a book and some tapes) for a mere $695 for a weekend intensive.

    Days later when you reach page 39 you’ll find Lerae Rowney’s article about two healing guides who are inspired to share the work that has helped them heal themselves. Sahaja had breast cancer, but luckily a friend had a book called The Journey by Brandon Bays ………

    What a co-incidence!

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  7. It’s a hideous and depressing journal. They give crackpots a bad name.

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  8. The Bedford Crackpot Fraternity says:

    We are not concerned by these charlatan crackpots! Our backyard Escargot farming business is doing just nicely thankyou!

    Like

  9. The Bedford Crackpot Fraternity says:

    We are crackpots and we are proud!! Join Us!!

    http://www.snailsbonappetite.com.au/

    Like

  10. Crackpots ize tryin to read some arcane pop cultural reference into ” Escargot Farming Business ” and it was actually a reference to your reality in Crackpotia ( that’s what the website box is for : advertising ). Totally post modern man : triple somersault and pike. Now let’s see that escargot.

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  11. Bedfords Cwackpot Fwaterneetei! says:

    Zere eeze nuzing wong wiz snails Bill – eez a delisious meel! We av not durn eet yet burt we is intensionally dooin eet yez! :)

    Like

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