Dick Payne

Tom S is another Perth expat who claims that “…in fact Midland shines compared to many NSW holes I’ve visited…” He also wanted to redress the frequent Melbourne bias to the “outta town worsts”. Dick Payne is what you get for a few days after a Dick Piercy.Dick PayneAnd speaking of Mid Stream, (aka Midland) Outrage keeps wanting to see a pic Lady Bento took regarding urine samples. OK, fine. If you want it. Wasn’t at the top of my list. It’s no cunthole doodle that’s for sure. Maybe Ben Elton can use it.

About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
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26 Responses to Dick Payne

  1. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    And still no Dazza.


  2. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    No, but I recall it being mentioned by you or someone else recently. I was toying with the idea of threatening to sticker your car with an “Eat The Peanuts Out Of My Shit” bumper sticker, then taking a photo and sending it you, but will settle for post of enhanced photos of Wembley Food Court monstrosities, currently on their way to you.


  3. shazza says:

    Those instructions seem very right handist to me. Fascists.


  4. cybill says:

    Well they forgot to tell the ladies to take the lid off the specimen jar, that is not going to end well.


  5. skink says:

    I see that Elton’s new show has been rechristened ‘Death on Planet Earth’ and managed to lose over half its audience during the course of the show


  6. The Legend 101 says:

    this relestate is also in Bunbury is Dick Payne a person or maniger?.


  7. Margeryx says:

    After last night’s show, the hatred of Ben Elton became decidedly rational.


  8. David Cohen says:

    It was worth the wait: kudos and kahunas to Mrs Bento.

    You don’t often see the word phlebotomist in print.


  9. perthluckystar says:

    It is intriguing that they felt they had to explain how to pee in a jar in such great detail. One can only assume they had patients asking how to do it. Which wouldn’t surprise me. Many of the patient’s I deal with daily are a bit “special”. Hopefully no one asked for a demonstration before attempting it themselves. That’s probably taking the job a bit too far when that’s offered as part of the service. And must one only use the left hand? Are they going to send you have to refill it if you accidently use the right?

    Loving the use of phlebotomist, too. Although, that’s probably a rather large and misunderstood word for Midland folk.

    Dick Payne and Dick Piercy reminded me of a conversation I overheard on a Midland line train a couple of years back. I was on the train heading up Bassendean way from the city after work when a group of teenage girls got on around Maylands. It was really crowded, being peak hour. In spite of this, the girls began loudly discussing their drunken weekend exploits. One particularly loud girl was proudly telling her friends just how pissed she’d gotten, and then in great detail tell how her girlfriends thought it was a great idea to pierce her clit for her right there at home. If it wasn’t for the fact that the train was crowded I think she would have dropped her pants and showed her travel buddies right then and there. Ah, Midland. All class.


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