So the day arrives of the crappest election choice for some time. Report your experiences or send me your election day photos. To start you off, Johno saw this in Vic park and Richarbl saw an amateur rendering of The T-Bott. And friend.
Worst Talk
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The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
Doing 3-6pm at Herne Hill Primary School in the safe Lib seat of Pearce – with the 2 hour time difference we may have an indication of who gets the keys to the Lodge – hope it’s Julia :-)
Oh and ignore Newspoll – it’s dodgy – my money is on Galaxy & Nielsen at 52-48 to the ALP.
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Yeah, well done dickhead. Great call. From now on I will follow the fuckhead poll.
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“Steve Irons John Howard’s Y-Fronts” is what I wanted to violate upon one of his campaign signs at the last Federal election. Like all the best ideas, I kept that pretty much to myself, though I did print out the addendum should I have felt the urge to compromise my good standing in the eyes of the Law.
I would’ve really liked to suffix the Member for Swan this time with “…Tony Abbott’s Budgie Smugglers” this time’ round, but this time, I thought it too garbled, thus again improving my chance of maintaining a clean record.
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Julie Bishop was jumping up and down, waving at cars and handing out balloons outside UWA on Stirling Hwy last night – and there was me without my camera.
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ooohh TLA has turned the moderator switch off. Should get interesting.
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Ohh jeez, tell everyone why don’t you. Don’t worry, it will be back on on Monday. Just thought that there might be poor iphone coverage in the South Worst which might be problemattical for approving comments.
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And still nothing from the Commo, Lezzo, Femmo collective about the wonderful rendition of the Mad Monk?
What! The comments moderation has been turned off you say.
Hmm… might have drop into the bottle shop on the way home from my arduous day of electioneering and scrutineering for the blue team
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FOWF.
Turn Back The Libs.
Pay back Costellos debt.
Stop the Reckless Racists.
Get rid of the Great Big New Fuckwit.
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i’m liking that waaa-kching.
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You cock.
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cock – is that the best you can do? with all the hundreds of thousands of words available to you, the best you can do is cock?
or are you telling me that that is where your other hand is as you bang away at your keyboard singlehandedly?
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Cock wanker dickhead: these slurs at us regulars rather neatly encapsulate this misfortunate wayfarer, especially when said together.
Don’t worry, Clown’s just prematurely ejaculating about the (still unclear) result.
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You are a blind slave to ideology, aren’t you? Now, allow me to state that I think both the Coalition and the ALP are both truly fucked, and that we have ended up with a hung parliament because by and large the electorate as a whole believes so as well. However, if I had to choose one of the two, my preference would sway towards the ALP, simply because I don’t like the idea of having a PM who will constantly attempt to push religion down people’s throats (s 116 of the Constitution forbids this as well. It does not allow for freedom of religion as such… but it has been interpreted as that the Commonwealth may not force any religion upon anybody. Tony’s little rants about Christian values, as far as I am concerned, are in breach of s 116), who will always favour large corporations over individuals, who thinks that climate change is a load of crap, who insists that dial-up modems are good enough to conduct the economy in this day and age, and who waqnts to run the public service into the ground to the point whereby he will have all the reason to privatise executive functions that really should remain in public hands. Right. Now, Mr. Abbott has been somewhat talking big about stable, secure government, and the integrity of the Westminster system. I feel that his stalling in allowing treasury to do the costings for Coalition policies is nothing but an effort to undermine current attempts at forming a stable government and truly is an example of the Coalition thumbing its nose at the Westminster system. And it raises the very obvious question… now what, really, does the Coalition have to hide? Oh, and while I’m on about the sheer hypocrisy of the Coalition, have a wee think about this one: Mr. Abbott loves to go on about the ALP’s alleged love of spending public money and building up debt. Well, then why the fuck does the Coalition wish to get rid of means-testing for the “Plasma Bonus” (whoops, I meant the “Baby Bonus”). Are families in the seat of Curtin that hard up for nappies? Or simply a case of porkbarrelling Australia’s considerably-sized population of piss-ignorant brownshirt bogans is it?
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Pants?! Well shit steve, why didn’t you say so earlier. And here i’d been sitting and foolishly resenting your surge of anti-boat literature over the last fornight when all along you were a brother in arms. You’ve got my vote this time!
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Time to vote and then hit the Banjobahn south.
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If you hate it so much, why go TLA?
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How horrible for you all. So intelligent, misunderstood, born in the wrong era and trapped in the suburban hell that is Perth.
FUCK OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE – OR SHUT UP AND TRY TO FIX IT.
BTW, how many of you have volunteered to have the boat people housed at your place? NONE, so shut the fuck up.
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What are charming fellow you are Ass-Clown. As with most other critics of the site, you’ve spectacularly missed the point of the whole thing. That makes you a stupid – as some like to say around here – CUNT.
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I don’t believe I have missed the point you cunt.
You are either one of three things here on TWOP.
First – you are highlighting some of the wonderful cultural aspects to this city for ridicule?
Secondly – This is one big ironic joke? You all indeed love the “cringingly suburban” signs littered around Mt Poorly?
Thirdly – I have got it all completely wrong. You are all active members of the community. You are out trying to make a difference, either through grass roots political campaigning as independents, or in teaching us uneducated hicks about the virtues of literature and art by spending your evenings helping out at TAFEs or running classes at community centres. You all house ‘boat people’ in your own homes to halt the strain on homeswest and pay for their medical treatment to help out Medicare. None of you drive to your jobs (another time for that one) as this would fly in the face of your support for the Greens.
Which one is it?
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You are a complete and utter waste of space moron.
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Third. I do all that and more.
At night I hunt for bubble butts like yours and ream them for hours as my arse slave.
Bitch.
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Mostly group 2 with a bit of group 3, that is I’ve been to Europe and as a public service need to enlighten uneducated folks from the bush how things here are not the best they can be. Hope this helps.
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Not this time, but in the past I have accommodated displaced persons at my home and, if I were still living in a large house, I would volunteer to do it again.
So stuff that up your self-opinionated arse.
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I like the Clown, at least he/she has grammar and lets face it, we can’t say that about every troll that has graced our fake reality.
I vote we keep him TLA.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Of course you have
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Big Ram, is that you.
I think I hear your mum calling…
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Seriously Clown you have completely missed the point of this site. We don’t hate Perth, which is why we choose to live here. Slow down and read carefully otherwise you’ll continue to make an arse of yourself.
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So, if I support uranium mining, I must first be willing to have yellowcake stored in my ensuite?
Still, it’s nice to have a liberal nutcase on hand to (a) make Rich look sane, and (b) counterbalance Frank.
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The difference is you twat, is that ‘boat people’ will be living among the people. Uranium is exported. Cock.
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And then where does it go?
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If your are sticking hang around Clown you should know Bento is a Meterocentric Twat.
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Rich is looking saner by the minute.
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This moron has a I.Q, less than his/her shoe size , but somehow feels qualified to give political advice.
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Also, has the artist attempted to render their own version of the Human Centipede?
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Has the photo of the incredible Communist with the red beard gone up via the iphone? Can’t tell if it’s before or after the Emo Simpkins treatment. Surely he can’t really look like THAT!
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Photo is up TLA, and a corker it is too. He’s like a human embodiment of the whole party.
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Glad to see his entire face treated as one big, coherent joke
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TLA…watch out for sharks.
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Fear not, Bb. CZC will save him.
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Is it just me, or does Bob Brown look a lot like Don Chipp the week before his massive coronary? The man has a definite blue tinge.
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I did photograph an image of one of Jules’ posters that appeared to have been smeared with blood (or it could have been running ink from her hair) but alas I can’t find the cable for my camera.
Voting took me an hour this morning, twice as long as last time.
Is it too late to pimp http://www.belowtheline.org.au? With a bit of prep I was finished with my voting in the same amount of time it took the senior next to be to number [1] above the line.
Not many images of my candidate at my booth, nor Mr Rabbit, but heaps of Jules. And the Democrats apparently found someone willing to hand out how to vote cards. Same with the Christian Dem army.
And, according to Mike Amore(?) on Sunrise this morning Get Up is a party.
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….”And, according to Mike Amore(?) on Sunrise this morning Get Up is a party.”
What do you expect from the biased ignorance of this “programme” provided to us by the benevolence of the thieving bastards who rob us at every commercial opportunity.
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right on comrade
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Oh, and apparently there has been a shooting in Bayswater.
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Anyone voting for Gerry in the senate? It’s a toss-up between him and the Citizens Electoral Council for me. Anyway, what happened to the WA First Party?
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WA First were basically there as Group A (Anthony Fels) and Group V (Scott Cowan).
Not sure why.
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Gerry is a failed (previous job) who couldn’t make money in that industry, so now hates everyone that can make a couple of quid. The ultimate hypocrite. Please vote for him. Your protest/support/vote for him will be worthless.
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highlight of my morning handing out how to vote cards for julia (not julie): the cute little dog that peed on the michael keenan poster (and i know i will not be forgiven for not having my camera handy), much to the pleasure of many in the queue
and there weren’t any family firsters at my booth, although everyone else was there.
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How was the vibe vegan? Any chance of a swing away from Keenan?
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Libs seemed curiously underrepresented at North Morley Primary School; majority of punters appeared to be waving Labor and Green HTV cards around. Could Keenan become a vanished worst?
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quite a good vibe actually shazz, much more positive than i would have thought given the crap about the mining tax. lots of folk, especially some very sweet older ones, quietly clutching their labor and green cards. some talk about girl power – julia, louise and a female independent.
it seemed pretty even, and the greens seemed to be doing very well.
i just wish i’d got a shot of the dog peeing!
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i just wish i’d got a shot of the dog peeing!
Don’t we all.
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What am I going to do about this spate of cunts without cameras. I think it’s mostly lies. You HAD cameras but failed to “paint it black”. Toughen up Princesses.
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Calling me a princess now?
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If the sequinned Ya Ya fits…
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So where’d you end up TLA? Maggie Creek?
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Beachside Margaret river. Gnarlabup or something. What’s the vibe now? Tbott landslide?
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Hung parliament, or 1-2 seat lead for Labor.
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I don’t forsee any result that will stop my lip from curling
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Drink more Howling Wolf.
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You more a fishin ‘n shootin man TLA?
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How’s emo going?
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Quelle surprise: all the WA seats have swung to the Fony Rabbit party of craven cünts. Typical. With the notable exception of Canning with Alannah gaining a 2% swing in her favour, which won’t be sufficient to unseat Don “I’ll talk, you’ll fücken well listen!” Randall.
If the Wiberwals prevail, I hope that Judy Moylan (Pearce) and Ken Wyatt (most likely to win Hasluck) will have the mettle and morality not to tow the party line when their colleagues wish to play their egregious tunes on the dogwhistle with the issues of refugees and indigenous affairs respectively. Should they capitulate, I sincerely hope that they get targeted and squirm in their seats, with their consciences ill-at-ease.
It’s those sorts of overtures, in addition to fanning the flames of fear about those on the moines losin’ their jerbs that have decided the outcome of this election.
Fück these ignorant bogan clods and hope they reap what they sow. Pity that the rest of us who can see past these diversions too will suffer.
Hope you’re glad, cünts. No, I’ll recant that. Fücking cünts more like.
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Thank you for your well-reasoned and, no doubt grounded in some actual political experience, comments. So insightful. Wanker.
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And, from under which stone in the bog did you emerge?
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@ You (arse) Clown: Thanks for the compliment. Like I’ve never been called that before. And at least I have both insight and a heart.
Doubt it if you could come up with something better then that. We just brush off trolls whose sole purpose in life is to make Perth just that li’l more Worst.
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It’s called a drive by BO’T. Arse Clown hasn’t got the guts to stick around.
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and thank you, you clown, for your shining example of grace in victory.
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They haven’t won yet Vegan.
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@ richarbl
Independents.
Spelling mistakes, hmm? ;)
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no bill, but they think they have.
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You can’t make that shit up, can you, BO’T ?
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No, but its reasonably safe to say Labor has lost
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Amazingly, thanks to Tony Abbott, that doesn’t seem to be the case, pending the decisions of the Independents.
p.s. Mad Bob for Speaker !
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Interestingly the AEC puts Labor equal to the Coalition and Adan Brandt has just declared that he will not speak to Abbott, therefore giving Labor a one seat advantage at this stage.
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He made that clear last night. So much for reasonably safe.
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I didn’t see any tv last night because I was busy scrutineering votes followed by a get together at the party room which had such a positive buzz that it was impossible to hear anything. You would thnk the bluebloods would have an eighty inch plasma setup with full surround but sadly no.
Regardless, it is safe to say that Labor has still effectively lost the election.
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Pig’s arse. It’s up to the Indendents.
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*Independents
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Haha, thats a fairly epic spelling mistake.
Katter will put his support behind the Libs, presumably, and the seats yet still decided are more likely to fall to the Libs than Labor. ThereforeAbbott will probably have a two seat lead. That will give him a clear advantage in negotiations with the independants.
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Utter bollocks, as we shall probably soon see.
Speaking of epic spelling mistakes, you don’t work at the Echo, by any chance ?
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Suckers
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Echo.
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Yes an echo but a hollow one, much like your claims of victory
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You’re the one claiming victory, not me. If all you’ve got is a corrected typo, then it helps if you can spell it correctly yourself, but if you want to continue to draw attention to your stupidity, I’m happy to come along for the ride.
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Lets face it, you’re not in the position to claim victory.
The spelling mistake was deliberate.
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Which would be why I’m not, yet you are.
Yeah, right. Keep ’em coming.
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And all you have is a deliberate spelling mistake?
Come on! I expect better
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All I have is the fact that it’s up to the Independents.
I don’t expect any better from you, however.
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If thats all you have then you have nothing but an election defeat
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For whom ?
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For the red team, obviosly
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Are you the only person in the world who doesn’t realise that the Coalition is in exactly the same position, and doesn’t have the numbers to form Government without the Independents ?
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Is that really the best you have? Bah fuck shit, I need a new Hater! Skink, where are you?
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So exactly the same position is a “victory” for the Coalition, but a “defeat” for Labor ?
As I previously mentioned, if you want to continue to draw attention to your stupidity, I’m happy to come along for the ride.
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Look Dude, its been a good ride but all things must come an end. Your self imposed position as my own personal hater no longer has any relevence. I am sorry but unless you can come up with some new angles your time is over.
Regards R
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Which part of “it’s up to the Independents” don’t you understand ?
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Every person in the English speaking world who has a a basic understanding of the Westminister System and is connected to the internet is aware of that.
Anything else you might like to add?
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How can that only be a “defeat” for one party then ?
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Snuff, I don’t have a clue what you are on about and I don’t wish to use this to my advantage but if there is any residual vitriol please tell me to get fucked…. just so I know you are alive
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Youse cunts haveuntil tomorrow afternoon before remoderation clampdown is reinstated. Make the most of it.
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You claimed here that “the fact that it’s up to the Independents” was “nothing but an election defeat” for “the red team, obviosly” (sic). So once again, how can that only be a “defeat” for one party ?
p.s. I can’t wait, TLA.
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Awesome! So, Snuff you cowardly mother fucker. perhaps you could share your reason for your campaignof hate towards me with the rest of us.
I no longer care but out of curiosity I would like to know the reason?
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Once again, how ?
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Clearly your understanding of rhetorical questionsis limited but once again, I don’t have a clue what you are talking about. If you have an actual discussion, please forward it to the relevant department.
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See here.
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Thanks for the very entertaining read guys.
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As I previously stated. I need a new hater. The old one has served its purpose and no longer has a shred of relevance or credibilty
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Always a pleasure, NF#1.
p.s. Once again, see here. How ?
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Face it dude, your time is over
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How ?
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p.s. That’s funny. I thought my time was over way back here.
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Hey Rich – take a chill pill and check this out.
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As always, you have proved yourself to be a pathetic humourlesscoward.
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Whether you’re addressing myself or Snuff, Rich, you have proven yourself a similarly humourless, pig-headed ranter: a good advertisement for the Libs as a whole.
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I expect, in the interests of objectivity, you have a similar message for those on the red team
NF#1
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I don’t endorse either side, but I do wonder at times if you’ve been partaking of the ‘”sort of hemp yoghurt” that left [Abbot] “away with the fairies for about 12 hours.”‘
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Objectivity ?
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Meh I expect better from the pair of you
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I can’t speak for NF#1, but I never expect any better from you.
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I guess you’ve now allowed us “pathetic humourless cowards” some room to improve. Thanks man.
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Did anyone ever get to the bottom of Rich bl’s gravatar?
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It’s an old Led Zep tour poster, NF#1.
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Haha Snuff you outsmarted yourself yet again with the hyperlinks, really, you should check before posting
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Hemp yoghurt, like I said.
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He didn’t even get that one, NF#1.
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Lez Zep thats pretty funny.
So any news from Gillard yet?
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In the interests of objectivity, Rich, see here.
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Nope, nor Abbott. But who cares, it’s the Independents everyone’s waiting to hear from.
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As before, meh. If either of you clowns have anything of substance to share now is the time.
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See here.
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You’re completely right Rich – Snuff and I don’t have a leg to stand upon, except that of logic and attention to the facts. No one has won the election yet (though in a sense, regardless of the eventual outcome, we have all lost), and there is certainly no clear mandate to govern for either side. How Libs such as your good self can claim this situation as a victory is beyond me. The whole thing points to the ever-increasing irrelevance of both major parties.
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So in effect you are saying my words have substance.
I just knew you would come around sooner or later. See, charisma does have its uses after all.
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Oh dear.
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I am now completely satisfied, Snuff.
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I thought it had been PROVEN beyond all doubt that no one was ever going to vote Green AGAIN. Shows how much I know.
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Emo to retain Cowan, + 5% swing
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Not bad hey!!!
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…if you want the country lead by a medieaval reactionary manipulated from the Vatican.
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Nobody does the news like Taiwan.
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Great clip, Snuff. I spent some time in Taiwan a decade back, and the TV news was very entertaining (if not mildly disturbing) even then – more like Funniest Home Videos than “news” as we understand it, complete with wacky sound effects, animations, and commentary from the newsreaders. I once saw a news clip about a bank robbery, with graphic close-up footage of the cops shooting the robber in the legs and bustling him into the back of a waiting car.
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Great story. I bet they were great times.
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Tremendous.
Why can’t I fo my jerbalism like that??
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Not much choice going into this election… Better luck next time.
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so shazz, how’s the burning going?
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Burning up on the inside Vegan.
I see our new friend singled you for special mention. How affirming for you.
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all i can say shazz, is that i have been insulted by experts in the past, so he’s of no consequence.
i wonder how much of his sad lonely evening was spent one hand on the keyboard, cruising the internet looking for sites to demonstrate his graciousness on?
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Surely Abbott is the only one qualified to lead a ‘hung’ Parliment
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Surely, Ms. Gillard is more seriously hung, and at a higher level.
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rich, i cannot get the picture of tony in the speedos in the house out of my mind.
thanks!
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Well, it seems that the major parties got what they truly deserved: Nothing.
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The inevitable outcome of an almost completely non-eventful campaign.
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One good thing though: looks like Uncle Wilson “Ironknob” Tuckey may lose the seat that he has been Araldited to since 1980, claiming a bludge that’d make the average genuine welfare recipient blush, on behalf of the now-awoken constituents of O’Connor.
OK, it’s gone to the Country Bumpkin Party, but at least Tony Crook has made a point of being outside of the formal Coalition, thus wedging him firmly between those inside the C(o)untry Party tent and the three independent former Nationals. Better than having a senescent ratbag with the face of a bashed crab acting as a bench-warming timeserver.
Even if the Mad Monk does prevail, at least we have that and Stoopid Steve Fielding, from those choice arsehats at Family First, not re-elected…no-one made the same mistake of preference allocations to them this time ’round!
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Spot on, BO’T. Even if it kills the body, the removal of those two tumours will have been worth it.
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the only joy from last night was seeing o’connor called as a liberal loss. i actually dragged my sorry ass out of my seat and danced.
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I can vouch.
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There’s another positive spin Bag O. Sometimes the average Joe punter needs to actually see fuckwittery in action to comprehend why they shouldn’t vote someone like Abbott into power. The only way to convince the butersnapshitfuckers is to let them feel the pain directly.
Then the rest of us smug bastards can say “told you so, stupid fuckers”.
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although i would really rather not have to be in the ‘told you so, stupid fuckers’s position in the first place.
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I for one am looking forward to life under a compassionless neo-con theocracy intent on taking the country back several years.
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i think you’ll find that it’s decades.
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So am I, NF#1, but mostly for the free beard, although it could be even funnier than I’d anticipated if today’s 27b/6 style exchange is anything to go by.
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Hey, that’s one of my favourite movies Snuff – Chris Lee is hammily superb in that one, a bona fide Hammer classic – and 27b/6 is an old favourite too.
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Maybe if they push their line of neoliberal economics, whereby debt had been shifted to private individuals (that’s Costello’s debt) and try to continue such a policy is a recipe for epic economic disaster: it’s not like there are as many folks willing and/or able to leverage themselves any further into indebtedness than is already the case.
Although we’ll all suffer from an economic day of reckoning, which will inevitably come, I’m sure that Teh Coal-ition, if in a position to form government, will hasten it along, not to mention aid in bringing environmental collapse closer still, with their growth-at-all-costs strategies.
And with all the moining jerbs safe—well, at least for now—I hope boatloads and boatloads of refugees come on down in their leaky boats to Sunny Straya to both take a share in maintaining the lower gears of a two-speed economy, and to get away from the hellholes we’ve conveniently stuck our oars in to make it just that little more hellish.
Well, under the Wiberwals, the economy will be booming! Until China can no longer subsidise US and other Global North consumption, having to break their co-dependence when it is apparent that many of these countries can no longer viably pay off debt, and that cuts will be hard to make on their part, as the fat (everywhere, except the soft, fat underbelly of the pluto-kleptocrats) has been sloughed off long ago (during the Hawke-Keating era) and the sinews have been gradually weakened by the overexertion and undernourishment that neoliberalism affords most of us. There is little padding to crash onto, and economists—both enlightened and, more recently, the benighted—full well know this, thus their panic about the governments of the Global North going into deficit—not so bad when private individuals have low levels of personal debt, but now that in the last quarter century this has increased exponentially, in no small thanks to widespread deregulation and the bidding game gambled via a normalised speculative culture, this is a perfect storm of economic depression brewing in the near horizon.
And the most nefarious part is that most of us, beyond the usual stockbroker and banker class, have not only permitted this, but co-opted that same behaviour too, somehow seduced into the idea that we can all get rich quick too.
Now we’ll all have to pay, some point soon.
(Better crack out the fire extinguisher, as per Mick Molloy (before he became a complete dickhead) on The Late Show, and douse me before I incandesce to the point of spontaneous combustion! Whoooosh! Whoooosh!)
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most of us, beyond the usual stockbroker and banker class, have not only permitted this, but co-opted that same behaviour too
Word, Turnips: “Mum & Dad shareholders” = one of the greatest neo-cons of all time.
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As are those same aspirant mums & dads who’ve gone and bought investment properties on (thanks to banking deregulation, halving of the CGT rate in ’99 and sustained low interest rates) easy finance, which, ultimately, has done nothing of any real worth to the housing situation, for owner-occupiers and renters alike.
The investors are the ones that have built this precarious house of cards; that’s why they fudge their daks when the interest rates inch up to, what are still historically, low levels, from the very low levels we’ve grown accustomed to. Not to mention also that they too have a vested interest in maintaining a rise in the value (ergo, the selling price) of their asset, preferably over and above the CPI rate. Which has led us to this feculent shituation, and soon they too will have to reap as they have sown.
Just a pity that the rest of us, especially owner-occupiers who either bought recently or refinanced via the “wealth effect”, are going to be mired in a world of shit when this bubble bursts—not case of if, either.
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So sorry I didn’t keep my Tshirt from the Olympics ‘Stay in your homes, you’ll only get in teh way’
Can’t say I disagree with the this time.
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Well I’ll be. Wicking’s still going. Thanks, Pete.
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Said ‘hi, how’s things?’ to the faithful putting up posters at the polling place. The response ‘no good complaining, no-one listens’. That from folk sufficiently engaged to tie posters to a fence & hand out flyers. Little wonder the informal vote ran @ 6%
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I’m sure there are people in countries like Myanmar who’d be happy to take their votes, Pete, if they don’t want them.
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if you don’t mind snuff, i will use that line next time some plonker tells me they can’t see the point in voting.
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I do miss the excitement of elections in the developing world. The odd pensioner riot, blockading roads, the noise & parades. It’s easy to forget that in other parts of the world the right to vote was & is being won by revolution.
The faithful – it was early in the morning, possibly too early for anything other than an automatic response. He was still there 6 hours later.
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I’ve got no problem with the faithful, Pete, but I do think that those whom insist on wasting their votes don’t deserve to have them.
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The latest figures indicate 600 000 informal votes for the 2010 election.
The booth that I was scrutineering in had 87 informal out of 1823
total votes, approximately five percent which mirrors the national average.
Generally speaking most informal votes are created by simple mistakes or banal scribble but by far the majority were simply left blank which would indicate a significant number of disinterested voters. Perhaps some were influenced by Mark Lathams irresponsible suggestion.
Either way its a waste of a democratic process which would be gladly welcomed in many countries, as you have quite rightfully pointed out.
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Make that ‘disgusted’ rather than disinterested.
Had there not been a ‘compulsory’ voting attendance all parties would have had a massive pile of undistributed h-t-v cards.
A wild guess would be less than a 20% turn-out.
It’ll be interesting to discover how many actually defied the law and did not front up.
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I voted informally.
I don’t deserve my right to vote, please, please take it away from me.
Unfortunately, I’m smart enough to know that my vote doesn’t make a difference, as all parties are the same. Makes it hard to really give a shit.
Also, I don’t watch TV, so I had no idea that Latham was telling people to informally vote.
Next time around, we need to get the informals to 10%.
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Excellent. You’re exactly the kind of person I’m glad doesn’t vote.
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I’m sure whoever you voted for will do an amazing job at running this progressive and forward thinking country!
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why thankyou! how nice of you to say so
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Why bother ? They know you’re not going to do anything about it if they don’t.
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Would a sufficient majority of voting eligible Australians notice if the government moved further toward totalitarianism? More rules, sure we’ll complain but really it’s beaut.
(ref: thingsboganslike/thingswhitepeoplelike.)
Would they then march on parliament? Or only until it was time for Tapas?
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I would simply like to join in here, right out of the blue, and remind all you commies that Labor has lost a lotta lotta seats. The Coalition really should be allowed to form a minority government as the ALP has been bulldozed by the voters, thus giving the Coalition a clear mandate to govern. ANy of you Commies gotta a problem with that?
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Why don’t you do us a favour and read some books on Australian politics. The party which has the most seats rules O.K, because they have enough votes to pass their legislation. See the 1998 election. It has nothing to do with bulldozers , man- dates ( although you are probably on one right now) or losing a lotta seats.
If you win more votes , but those votes are in the wrong area , you will lose government.
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It says more about you fags than about me. you fags are the ones always bringing up this gay shit about man-dates. probly because thats what labor voters want all the time! 2 go on man-dates.
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Now get over it looser. You leftys lost. that gives you all more time to take it in the ass. Tony Abott is australias chance to be great again!!!
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FM3000 you’re on a man-date with Tony Raybot aren’t you.
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fuckmeister, perhaps before you offer your thoughts on the electoral process you should actually understand the rules.
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But Fuckmeister, the government already has a clear mandate from the voters. It has a mandate to not do anything much because it’s dominated by two factionally opposed but highly confluent Business parties in equal measure and will thus be virtually incapable of reaching any joint decision. That is the will of the people. That’s what they voted for. Clearly Australians don’t want any of the extant parties acting unilaterally at the moment. I guess it’s time
for everyone to come together as rational individuals and try to reach some kind of consensusto call the Governor General and force everyone back through the polls for as long as it takes for the Red/Blue team to look popular again.LikeLike
thats the sort of thing a disgruntled labor person like you would say. youve lost now suck it up. Its typical labor menatlity to call for more elections because you can’t handle losing and also because elections cost money and just like with the stimulus package you labor losers just LOVE wasting money. So demanding more elctions is perfect for labor losers.
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Did you just get home from school?
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I couldn’t agree more fucknut. What I’m complaining about is the tyranny of the major parties and the fact that only their leaders are accountable, and only once every four years, and that every other federal member is little more than a red/blue shirted stand-in for the feudlords, whereas if the parties’ power was stripped away (which is the real ‘threat’ of a hung parliament with no clear ‘winner’), MPs would be continually held to account amongst themselves and voting might eventually become conscience-based in accordance with the principles of liberal humanism. Which anyone capable of elementary reading comprehension might have understood from my post. He said. I hate Labor.
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Typical Labor-loving bullshit. When will you just come to accept that YOU LOST. Looser.
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Fuckmeister, you do know that Labor has more primary votes than Libs don’t you?
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I was Tonay Abbott’s last mandate, and he still wont call
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He’s a bit busy wondering why Adam Bandt hasn’t called him, orbea. This gets funnier every day.
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this is my favourite joke of the day:
‘needlesly confrontational’
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/08/24/2992002.htm
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Yep, skink. It’s up there with “He (Abbott) has said Mr Bandt should be prepared to listen to his “better plan” for dealing with climate change, adding that he would have no trouble working with the Greens in the Senate under Bob Brown.”
And how good were Tony Windsor and Barnaby on Saturday night, kicking in around 6:00 of Election aftermath (09:47) ?
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he has a policy for climate change.
that’s absolute crap.
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I can just see Raybot, Gruelia and FM3K holdin hands.
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I don’t wish to put a dampener on your little gagfest lads but according to the latest figures supplied by the Australian Electoral Commision it would seem that the Coalition has stolen a seat from Labor.
http://www.aec.gov.au/vtrtion
And the ABC news team now has the Coalition drawing ahead in two of the remaining three seats.
http://www.abc.net.au/elections/federal/2010/guide/seatsindoubt.htm
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You must be the most masochistic person I have never had the pleasure of meeting (except for that one night when you drank water, which doesnt count because I won’t talk to water drinkers when I’m pissed) Rich. Honestly why do you insist on coming here and making a goose of yourself?
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Attention starved approval seeker, shaz. He doesn’t have a choice.
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Honestly Shazza I don’t why you continue to make personal attacks when they are simply not warranted.
You should know that carrying unnecessary vitriol is not good for your inner spirit.
Give it a rest for a while, have a glass of red and you will feel much better.
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Mrs Skink did have the pleasure of conversation with Rich that evening, and suggested that he has the typical internet thing of being all cocksure bravado on the web but a wee timorous beastie in person.
self-esteem so low that being insulted here is being preferable to being ignored totally by the rest of the world
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C’mon Rich, we all you know you want it. Yeh, gotta have it. That’s right admit it, you love it. Can’t get enough of it. ooh yeh!
That’ll be $25.00.
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There’s a MRS SKINK!!
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During my one hour conversation with your wife, who I found to be quite charming BTW, whilst you sat next to her without botheringto introduceyourself to someone who had a very interesting conversation with your wife on a wide range of subjects, some of them remarkably personal.
I am quite happy to retain my discretion but if you wish to pursue this pointless internecine I may be enticed to share with your friends some of the marital issues which so clearly concerned your wife.
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you could earn another $25 by rubbing coconut butter into his bald noggin
you’ve all finished dinner, right?
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Rich,
that would have been before the counselling and the vasectomy
I don’t beat her any more
that’s old news
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Bloody hell, Mrs Skink must have made an impression. Richie Rich, why tantalise us with this glimpse of you busy social life? We are all eager to hear your erudite conversation the last time you left the house without the security bracelet
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Ugh, god skink, I don’t want to touch him. Just speaking a language I thought he may be more familiar with.
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Youse guys are so funny, lambasting me for not having a social life whilst you are sitting around all night trying to be clever like a 14 year olds on a Neighbors forum.
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There are Neighbours forums?! Wow Dick you get around.
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Richie Rich, obviously you deliberately forget the ‘non-core’ promise election.
1974 was a great time for Australia, the tories failed to win, and then installed Vince Gare to bring democracy down.
Tony Abbott is very willing to do the same thing.
The disappointing thing for you must be that the Liberals did so poorly.
Merely a 2% swing when the ALP were ripe for being kicked up the arse. That didnt happen.
Posture all you like here, the reality of the situation is Abbott has to have a complete personality transplant before he can claim a mandate.
Disingenuous much?
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So what ?
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p.s. That first link is dead, by the way, so like yourself, we have no idea what you’re on about.
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Its scarcely my fault that the link is not working. Perhaps you could simply google AEC, just like I did.
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Who said it was ? The AEC homepage doesn’t say anything about “the Coalition has stolen a seat from Labor”, by the way. What were you referring to ?
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The AEC doesn’t have news reports or running commentary but it does have a tally board with links to various things like seats in doubt etc.
I started watching it a couple fo days ago when I came to the conclusion that the usual news websites were simply unreliable with their numbers.
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Anyone care to hazard a guess at what he’s on about ? Having previously mistaken Andrew Wilkie for a Green when he posted this garbage, he couldn’t possibly be stupid enough to now mistake for him a Coaliton member, could he ?
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Nobody ? OK, Richarbl, we give up. What is the name of this mystery seat which “the Coalition has stolen … from Labor”, and who are the mystery candidates ?
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One thing most observers are beginning to agree on is that the Coalition will end up with 73 seats vs Labor 72.
Regardless of which party forms goverment this is is the worst election result for Australia since Whitlam in ’74
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Again, what is the name of this mystery seat which “the Coalition has stolen … from Labor”, and who are the mystery candidates ?
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Ok, since you are so desperate to score a point I will concede that I jumped the gun when I declared a win for the Coalition.
My mistake was assuming Dunkley had been conceded by the ALP when in fact it was a win to Wilkie.
Unlike your good self I am not yet perfect.
However I don’t history will rank my error as highly as the one Gillard made by calling an election so soon after the Rudd debacle.
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What a great thread this is. None of us would have thought it possible, yet Richarbl has repeatedly proven himself to be even stupider than we’ve already seen him to be. First, he mistakes Andrew Wilkie for a Green, is corrected by vegan, and then after that, still manages to mistake him for a Coalition member, yet he still doesn’t realise that Wilkie won Denison, not Dunkley. The AEC must wonder why they bother, with people like Richarbl and FM3K out there. What a fine job they’ve done of representing Coalition voters. Repeat after me, Richarbl, slowly … Andrew Wilkie is an Independent.
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See Snuff, this why you are still my #1 hater.
I never once claimed Wilkie won Dunkley but that didn’t stop you from claiming otherwise
I am sorry I ever doubted you, all is forgiven.
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O rly?
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Thanks for saving me the trouble, orbea. You cannot make this stuff up. Dumb, dumber, dumber, dumber, and yes, even dumber still.
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I could easily explain how this confusion has occurred however I doubt your ability to see accept any sort of realism during this difficult time.
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You’ve inherited Fielding’s dyslexia, Tuckey’s myopia, and Howard’s hide?
At least admit you got it wrong.
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The fact that you’re having a difficult and confusing time is no excuse. You’ve still made more of a fool of yourself than ever before, as everyone has seen.
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@Orbea
I have no problem admitting when I get it wrong.
Just like the time I said that Abbott was unelectable.
Well fuck me, I was wrong about that one also.
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The law of averages would suggest that if you just continued with your inane drivel, eventually you’d actually get something right, but in your case, obviously even that’s unlikely. The only thing we are less interested in than your fuckups are your lame evasions and excuses for them. As we’ve all said … we get it … you’re a moron. You don’t need to keep demonstrating that over and over and over again, but you will.
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So thats it, after all this time spent hatin’ the best you can do is call me a moron?
T.he only person you are insulting is yourself
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Nobody needs to call you anything. As we’ve all seen over and over and over again, in many threads including this one, nobody comes close to making more of a fool of you than yourself.
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the dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
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So using the same criteria I can safely conclude that you have proven yourself to be nothing more than a petty, humourless, irrational,
hate filled curmudgeon.
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no dampener
I am starting to look forward to the Libs trying to run a minority government
The Mad Katter’s Tea Party with Mr Rabbit as the March Hare, Julie Bishop as Alice in Blunderland, and Joe as the Dormouse asleep at the Treasury.
they will bicker for six months and fail to pass any legislation except to cut the stimulus and leave my kids’ school half built. There will be one set of bad quarterly economic data and two interest rate rises before the Greens arrive in the Senate and lock it up. Two quarters of stagnation unable to pass anything before their first budget, at which point the Senate blocks supply and the Independents turncoat for a vote of no confidence.
then another election, before which Abbott will get the knife.
what a ride
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That does sound like fun, skink. Personally, I think the Independents will choose whichever option will secure them for as long as possible in the saddle, hence Oakeshott’s fanciful Unity cabinet.
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What, you couldn’t work buttersnapshitfuckers into that?
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Its not richie rich’s fault that the link he posted doesnt work? WELL FUCKING POST ONE THAT DOES CUNT
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bugger,
I was extending the Lewis Carroll riff by having Malcolm as the White King riding in on a white horse facing backwards to save the day, but needed a break for more wine
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@Orbea
Amusingly you are starting to sound exactly like the thirteen year olds you so clearly hate
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Jeezus – can barely believe this thread is still going.
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It doesn’t deserve 400 comments.
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Rich needs his own blog we can all troll at whim. Can’t see either side backing down at this stage, except out of sheer boredom.
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He’d never do that, NF#1, because none of us, nor anyone else, would ever bother.
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well he didn’t call tim windsor on saturday either.
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Shazza, you do know that your commie mates have LOST all their votes while the coalition have GAINED a lotta votes. I am sure I don’t have to tell you what that says about the trend in what the aussie public wants. You seem like an intelligent girl, barring the fact you vote labor. Other thing, if it weren’t for preferential votes and compulsory voting (leading to donkey votes) then the labor party would have no votes. The coalition has gained votes. And with all the infighting in labor how can they be trusted to run the country?
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Commie mates?
Stuff off.
The Labor party is more right wing than Liberal was when Bob Menzies headed it up.
The trouble with rabid slogan shouters is they most often shit stir without knowing anything of what they’re shouting about.
Perhaps one day you’ll wake up to the reality that you’re making a complete arse of yourself with stupid statements like that.
Though I won’t hold my breath waiting for that to eventuate.
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Some would say the Labor party is more right wing than the Liberal was when Malcolm Fraser headed it
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trying to talk smarter doesn’t make you look smarter. Truth is you sad looser leftys lost. Now get over it and let the coalition get this country on track again.
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not as loose as you after I’ve been through you
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You are being mislead by one of the biggest bullshit artists around , one Tony Raybot. Here’s a simple test for you as you are a simple person FM3000. What is going to be traded to get the independents to support for either party. This will be a test of integrity and given the Raybot’s history he’ll fail it.
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You do realise your whole premise is based on the Coalition starting with fewer seats (and votes), right?
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The greens representation in the lower house went from 0 to 1 – a factor of nearly infinity. Surely they deserve to govern the universe on that statistic.
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And next year, when West Coast improve at a greater rate than Geelong, we’ll declare them the premiers.
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I’m liking the Dockers run lately.
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I was born a WAIS Breakers man, etc…
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If it weren’t for preferential and compulsory voting Labor would have no votes, yet they have the largest primary vote of all the parties? Your claim doesn’t make any sense to me Fuckmeister.
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He doesn’t make any sense to any sentient being, shazz.
Just another bullshitting troglodyte, I reckon.
Trolls rool. OK?!
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just another single handed poster.
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I always like it when folk refer to The Coalition as if it is a single party and then talk about clear mandates. The Liberal Party has almost always formed minority government.
and thank-you Shazza for reintroducing me to the word ‘buttersnapshitfuckery’
it got a good airing this weekend
I am still in the hole with the shotgun, although I am running low on whisky
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Hold your fire soldier.
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Whaddawewant?
Bigger gravatars
Whendawewannit?
Now
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2PP as at 10.50 23Aug2010 from aec website
ALP 50.66%
Lib/Nat Coalition 49.34%
Seats
ALP 71
Lib 43
Lib/NP Qld 21
Greens 1
Nats 7
Country Lib 1
Independent 2
In doubt 4
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Votes 2PP
ALP 5,044,663
Lib/Nat 4,913,812
Two Party preferred margin = 130,851
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According to the current figures on the AEC
Liberal 72
Labor 71
With four yet to be decided. Of those, two are likely to go to the ALP , one to the Liberals and one to an Independent. This will give both major parties 73 seats each and five to the Independents.
Of those five two are Green and based on current preferences are more than likely to support the ALP which leaves the other three all who have previous links to the Nats.
Bob Katter has stated that he will support the Coalition on philosophical grounds.
Assuming the other two independents can be persuaded to support the Coalition we have a Liberal victory on the slimmest of margins but realistically it can either way.
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Liberals or Coalition Rich? You do know the diff right?
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Liberal or liberal, more to the point.
Anyway, this electioneering on the basis of coalition is a shaky political spin at best: At worst it is a blatant ploy to convince the electorate that separate parties actually exist even when there is clear collusion not to stand candidates in competition in most electorates.
Time for a serious review of the electoral system, methinks.
What happened to your other eye, by the way, richarbl?
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correction richardbl- a Liberal, National, Lib/Nat Queensland, Independent coalition victory on the slimmest of margins with less than 50% 2PP
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richy
two greens? please, get it right! of the five possible independents that i think you refer to, one is a green, and the other four are independents. or is that independants? however, it is looking possible now that denison will stay with the alp, so we may be left with one green, and three independents with former lnp connections.
did you watch the 7.30 report last night? because if you did, you might not so smugly assume that the three independents will automatically go with the coalition. bob katter, in case you didn’t know, loathes the current national party. and tony windsor openly lampoons barnaby joyce. to satisfy the demands of these boys tony is going to have to backflip on the nbn, gp superclinics and probably other stuff as well. that is something i would pay to see.
and i don’t think that you should assume that the country party member from wa who knocked off wilson (and all praise to him for doing so) will automatically side with the coalition either.
so, take a deep breath, practice some patience, and stop making yourself look stupid.
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Thanks for correcting me on the number of Green seats, yes that was a mistake on my behalf.
I didn’t watch the 7:30 report so didn’t see Katter’s response but I am not assuming anything, at this point there are so many variables that it has become a waiting game for all of us, the experts included.
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Andrew Wilkie, an ex-Greens candidate is looking like he will run second to the ALP Jackson.
The other doubtfuls, Boothby, Brisbane, Dunkley and Hasluck are tipping to LNP.
Which will take ALP to 73. LNP 73. Green 1, Ind 3.
The minority government will need to select a Speaker.
The Independents HATE the National Party and realise they will have to work with a Senate with the Greens holding the balance of power after June 30 2011.
Tony Windsor asks lots of questions about coal mining, coal seam gas and farmers rights.
Of the 3 independents, Oakeshott is most likely to take the Abbott Truss minority line.
Hardly a victory for one of the most divisive political party leaders Australia has ever seen.
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Fair point about Abbott being divisive but another thing worth looking at the number of seats that Labor has lost.
They have gone from having a very comfortable majority to being in very real danger of becoming a first term loser, the last time this happened was in 1933, apparently.
Considering the incredible popularity of Rudd in the first two years it is safe to say that something is wrong the ALP in its current form and it seems the people have spoken.
A minority government that is subject to the demands of independents is going to find it difficult to govern with any real authority. There is a precedent with the Bracks Labor government who ousted Kennett with the support of three independents. In comparison to the the whirlwind Kennett years, Victoria came to a virtual standstill and has only regained its momentum since John Brumby was elected. But I digress.
Regardless of your opinion of my political stance I would rather see a strong Labor government than a weak one of either political persuasion.
And lets not forget the possibility of having another election.
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That’s what was said after the WA election and I said/hoped/wished for the same thing. Nationals would never stay in Coalition, but they are simply too fucken lazy to drive any policy agenda other than blatant pork barrelling, to drive any Nationals policy that diverged from the Libs was and is too hard
The Auditor-General is due to bring a report out on Royalties for Rurotards soon. http://www.audit.wa.gov.au/workinprogress.php
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less greens the better. labor is shit but they dont want the boats either. Greens would roll out the welcom mat.
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in five years you’ll vote and maybe like Wyatt Roy you can be a candidate too
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at leats wyatt is doing something for Oz. all ur doing is slagging off ur own country and demanding more boatpoeple come here and vote for u sad leftys.
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send TLA your picture and we’ll vote
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Ben Wyatt is a good bloke who has made good policy change and toughened up the ALP in the House. What do you reckon?
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Must be past FM3K’s bedtime
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The Independents arent interested in going with labor. labor cant form a stable party so how they can form a stable government? The Independents will go with the coalition because they havent had all their little bitchslaps that labor alsways has so of course coalition is the only party able to form a stable government.
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So what legislation are they going to get past the greens in the senate?
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lollies at playlunch and the prefects cant use FM3K as a toast rack anymore
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greens wont be running the country. coalition and the Independents will. So greens dont have a say. Nobody voted bob brown for prime minister.
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nobody votes for PM fuckface
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http://australianpolitics.com/constitution/
good luck in the politics and law essay, those year 9 school teachers are hotttttt!!!!
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Year 9 students are hot u say. u sound like a pedofile.
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Literacy standards are so low, read twnety pages of Winton and have a good lie down
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twenty dammit
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hey fuckwit, have you heard of the senate?
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Were not in america. Wots ur point?
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We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen.
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thats real funny asshole. DICKHEAD!!!
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I’d lay money you still don’t know what vegan’s point was.
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wet the bed
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I recently gooogled Richarbl, and it may interest regulars to read know that whichever blog he seems to visit, on any subject, he shits everyone to tears. You are not alone. If you think he’s dull talking politics, you should see him argue about the gearbox on a Ford Falcon
on one blog about ‘the cult of cars’, he left the all-too-familiar whinge that his ‘amusing and insightful’ comments were being blocked
the moderator replied:
“Would it not have been more representative if the comment you left proclaiming yourself as amusing and insightful, was, in fact, amusing and insightful?”
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ROFL
Seems TLA has been lining his pockets!!! And why not?
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At least I am not so desperate to hate someone that I would google someone online handle to find some dirt. In this case that comment has been taken way out of context but then what else could I expect.
The actual facts are as follows…. the website in question was the influential US car blog, Jalopnik. Not just anyone can comment, there is a difficult selection process which must be followed and it takes some time to become a regular commenter, a point which my learned colleague, skink, ignored to add to his drivel.
And the vehicle in question was not a Falcon but some American POS which needed a new gearbox and the owner could not afford to buy a new one so he contacted Jalopnik who created a thread and invited readers to donate money.
I pledged twenty dollars in a reply which included the “insightful comment”. It was a complex gag designed to get me published and to go up a rung on the ladder. True, one person (not a moderator) didn’t get the joke but plenty did and I received plenty of feedback on my PM inbox, which of course Skink is not entitled to see. And it worked, I now have my comments “handled” by a moderator who ‘promotes’ my comments on my behalf.
Nice try though skink but surely you can find something better to do with your time
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pure, delicious troll feed
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Yeah I know, at some point one of my fellow contributors will shrilly complain that “TWOP is not all about you Richarbl” or the old standby “why don’t you get over yourself” thus perpetuating further comments from other contributors who seem to relish falling over each other to add to the ever growing comment count pertaining to richarbl.
It is irony in its purest form
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$20 if you STFU
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See my point JJ.
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I googled you to see if you had stood for Parliament, or were perhaps a senior official in the upper echelons of the Liberal Party
thanks for clearing up my error regarding the gearbox. I am sure that you have left nobody in any doubt now.
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okay $22.35, some pocket fluff and a “Greens” lapel badge
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Rich.
Wherever you go you are NOT appreciated. You’re like a guy who shows up to the wrong party and still expexts everyone to give a shit about what you have to say.
Car people don’t like you, nor do worsters- so why don’t you just fuck off. Stop wasting valuable oxygen.
I am sure there is a SIG discussion board somewhere for Inane, balding fuckwits, so please go find it. You may even get a date.
Gee, I should have said that long ago…
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Its always good to get that sort of thing out your system WAtching, it will just burn you up otherwise.
Hey since you are on a roll why not share some other things that have been on your mind?
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Look I’m no more than an observer here, Richarbl, but the conclusion I have come to based on many of your posts, is that you are a humourless, narcissistic tool. Nothing I’ve read has indicated otherwise. Just sayin’.
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Thank you for your input JaneZ.
At least you have read many of my comments and feel moved to add one of your own.
Is this not the point of having a forum in the first place?
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narci-cynicism
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There, there, richie boy, none of us really hate you; just most of the outrageous drivel that you come up with.
As for humour, whatever yours is, most of us just don’t seem to get it. Whether that is a deficiency on the part of the twoppers or a lack of funniness on your part is, I suppose, open to debate, though there does appear to be a general consensus here that the problem lies in your court.
Possibly you need to change psychologists.
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‘possibly you need to change psychologists’
isn’t that what his ex-wife said?
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Ok, to make easy for you Shazza I will refer to the rabid right wing demagogues as the Coalition from now on.
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….should such a coalition continue to exist.
Terrible internal rumblings in progress but not yet being reported by the MainStreamMedia. (Henceforth to be referred to as the MSM in my posts.)
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Trust me Rich, the only thing you make easy, is taking the piss out of you.
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http://jalopnik.com/people/Richarbl/
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True, on Jalopnik ‘I don’t have any friends’ but I don’t go out of my way to make any ‘friends’ either.
I don’t have any friends on TWOP either so what was your point again?
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It’s a pity you didnt take this line of response with Duke Nukem Buckels.
Hows that RSVP thang going?
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Fav authors include Tim Winton
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“I don’t reckon this car looks as good as last year’s. I really liked the lime green highlights.”
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“Lip, Sip, Bank, Suck”
See how easy this game is skink, we could go all day taking comments out of context.
You seem stressed, why not grab your teddy bear and go curl up in a green field somewhere?
It always seemed to make you feel better in the past.
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Phwoar, too right, he breathed, I preffered ’em green. Liked ’em positively bloody effulgent, he thought to himself, a smirk like a bent coathanger sprawling over his jaw, not just painted green but fully greened over, apple-glinting like the effervescent froth of a composting dunny, seeping through the Exmouth dunes on one of those balmy, brine-scented nights when we’d all go down to ocean’s edge to lie in the lap and lull and hunker down with a four-stringed guitar to fill the very night itself with our boistering… Those had been the days, he reminisced breathily. You wouldn’t know it now, he winced, knuckles creaking like the dust-choked springs on Warno’s rig as his fingertips clattered on the keys (like the first sprinklings of autumnal rainfall back on Jeano’s farm in Wyndham). Carn, he breathed under his breath, carn ya pack of bloody mongrels. Add me. Sling you a lobster, mate. Just accept my friend request…
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As long as you are getting a chuckle Shazza, thats all I ask.
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You should be pleased with your weekend’s work Rich; you asked for a new hater and you seem to have found a whole bunch of us. And we were all right here, all along!
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Not sure how well enlisting one of his colleagues to better represent the blue team is working out either, G’day.
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Employments agencies! You can never trust those bastards. I asked for a right wing comedian and somehow ended up with a more intelligent Mark Latham.
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isnt it illegal to employ 13 year olds?
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a right wing comedian?
do they exist?
Jim Davidson or Bernard Manning perhaps? jokes about breasts and burkhas?
I think we have ample evidence here that right wing politics and a sense of humour are strangers
unless Tony Abbott is some sort of situationist practical joke foisted on us.
Julie Bishop certainly is.
she makes me laugh
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And his “election defeat” still isn’t looking much better, either, according to The Daily Telegraph.
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A good point Gday but I have decided to stick with my old hater.
Sure, there was plenty of second tier haters who auditioned for the part but none really had that burning irrational loathing that Snuff can deliver at will.
Ok, the old boy might have lost some of his sting and is starting to repeat many gags but this is a relationship that has a solid foundation and I don’t think it is right just to throw it all away because of a few pretenders.
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ooh, is it a competition?
see who can take the piss out of you with the most style and elan?
will points be awarded?
will there be a trophy?
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No contest, skink. Nobody comes close to making more of a fool of him than himself. And while we’re enjoying democracy, perhaps what we really need is a vote, say once a year, for TLA to ban any one person from TWoP.
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If someone needs to be banned, a vote will not be required. I don’t see that necessity at the moment – particularly with all moderated comments.
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Fair enough.
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I am more in favour of free speech.
a ban would only make him think he was a Moderation Martyr, although that might appeal to him if he thought there were 72 virgins waiting
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I would however appreciate 101 refraining from the “I was in Dianella and I saw aborigines…” comments. All his others I love.
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See, G,day. It’s up to him, not us,
or those Independents.LikeLike
Dear P Nurry
The only certainty to come from this column is that readers face a potentially long period of quality uncertainty.
The big questions dividing my readership that caused me to go from an unchallenged force at the start of 1990 to humiliatingly losing my editorship (and legitimacy) remain unresolved.
The productive parts of this newspaper gave me a big kick in the backside – but maybe not quite hard enough to stop me from spewing out wordy and redundant columns way past my use by date.
The result of this split was that none of the editorial changes needed by management to form a readable paper have much prospect of enduring.
Whatever happens, The Worst will almost certainly have to pull its socks up if there is going to be stability in advertsing revenues and circulation.
Meanwhile, the word counting situation remains fluid because there is much from which to cut and paste.
We had the debate a few years ago whether my embracing of popular issues (involving ABBA, domestic violence, Allen Park and racist renditions of negro speak to name a few) alone constituted a readership mandate. Obviously it doesn’t.
But whoever writes the most words, and spits them out the quickest, should have the first option to get their stuff filed under opinion. This, of course, depends on the concentation levels of those living in this one horse town.
And this is where it becomes tricky.
To become competitive again (assuming I was once competitive), The Worst would have to move in a direction – any direction – as long as it was away from me.
Any long winded assessment of political process, at which I seemingly excel, needs to be watered down into 300 words.
This is hard when there are lotsa facts to put into a reconstructed diatribe. Will they support me? Won’t they support me? See? It just goes on and on.
Readers finally had a close look at me and the stuff TWOP bloggers consistently said was unreadable. One comment, about me smelling of stale wine and BO, obviously did fit the sterotype.
This column confirms that.
This may be the key to the future because another columnist might not be too far away. If I can’t get my writing chops together, the maangement would be silly to contrive a situation to force raders back to the newstands soon.
Readers will not relish the prospect of more tripe like this.
However, under the right circumstances, having seen some of the other crap churned out by the West hacks (such as Griffin Longley’s stuff, which is pretty dire), they might decide to go with the devil they know to create certainty.
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AFter he sees this TLA’s never going to turn that moderator switch off ever again.
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TLA has tested the shark infested waters and has seen a new laissez faire approach a-coming.
Unfortunately my lobster is looking safe
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I saw the photo in today’s paper of the surfers forming a ring in remembrance
unfortunately they had difficulty forming a perfect circle and the resulting ring was more of a shark’s-tooth sort of shape
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When the Electoral Commission went to XXXXXX two officials XXXX XXXXXX, which meant the XXXXXXXXXX Party got XXXX-XXXXXX and said XXXXXXXXXX, but they in turn were visited by the XX who took out XXXXX and XXXX XXX XXXXXXX – and the funniest thing is Nurry XXXXXX for some XXXX.
(Sorry – had to get that out of my system before the moderation returns.)
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Please let this be about gerry georgatos and his claims to have 3000 members for party status.
He could only get 287 primary votes.
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Woman has sex with Basil Zempilas. Pregnant. Life ruined.
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thank you orbea for the first laugh out loud today.
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Have I missed some context for this?
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http://www.perthnow.com.au/entertainment/perth-confidential/basil-zempilas-and-wife-amy-announce-they-are-expecting-baby/story-e6frg30l-1225908852140
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surely it doesn’t need context? in fact, i think it’s funnier without.
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Proust! All done from a laptop in bed I guess. When’s the book coming out?
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Speaking of fine literature, Justin Langer’s newest is out, titled (I shit you not) Australia, You Little Beauty
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No seriously, what is it really called?
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Sounds like an adapted line from the Aussie cricket team song. Disappointingly though he has substituted ‘Little’ for the canonical ‘Fucken’.
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Confessions of a Weird Religious Sportsman Who Stares Waaaaay Too Intensely at Everything – A Memoir
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Bob Katter, You Little Creepy
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I’m not a gnome, I’m a human being
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you guys dont take much pride in your country do you?
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Gay Pride you mean?
with a name like FM3K you’d go down a treat there
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why do u leftys always have to bring gay stuff into it?
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Piers Akerman is my favourite gay journalist, after Alan Jones
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That’s actually quite funny.
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any pride I have in the place I live dies a little every time I read something daft by some brain dead cunt who can’t spell but thinks he is somehow superior merely by the accident of his place of birth.
there is a stain on my toilet bowl that can hold a better conversation than this twat.
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Tell us, FM3K, do you find it hard to type with one hand?
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should it be Fuckmyself3000?
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obviously not. i reckon he’d spell like that with all his fingers.
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why dont u guys be proud of Oz and don’t spend ur time typing shit slagging off ur country. Go do something positiv like joining the reserves or volees or something like the SES. I’m sick of leftys slagging off Oz. Tony Abbot is a volee in NSW and you all slag him off? Come on be Australians.
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Abbott is a Tennis Shoe?
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une volee de bois vert, perhaps?
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All eight vegan.
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I find it strange that someone like this would make asylum seekers his top policy priority.
Given that he is aspirational enough to vote for a man whose name he can’t spell, you would think that education would be his top priority.
it would help him enormously in his efforts at social climbing, and if he had some qualifications to his name he would worry less about immigrants stealing his job.
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Reading and comprehension classes would serve him well also skink. He insists on not understanding this content of this blog.
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Fuck it.
THE content of this blog.
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http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/gg-seeks-advice-on-political-role-following-concerns-about-her-personal-position/story-fn59niix-1225909030637
Holy Constitutional Crisis Batman! Just when you thought this election couldn’t get more entertaining along come the “news” that Quentin Bryce’s position is potentially compromised by her close marital relationship to a potential ALP leader!
To use a much used line… you just can’t make this shit up.
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crisis, Quentin Bryce’s daughter is married to Bill Shorten, she would have graanted him his commission as a Minister, no crisis when that happened, no conflict of interest
open the constitution, read it, and act accordingly.
What else can the Queen’s representative do?
anything else and you’re wanking along with the Australian
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it’s no secret she is his mother-in-law. i think it’s also no secret that at the time she was appointed she wasn’t.
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As Bill told Barrie yesterday morning, “In terms of the Governor-General’s role she will carry out her role I’m sure. In terms of any other point that you may be humorously alluding to I’m not going to impugn that office.”
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A “Don’t blame me I threw my vote away” T shirt would be nice. Didn’t seem much talk about the bearded communist, or did I miss it while down the banjobahn?
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Commie was cruelly ignored, TLA. A shame – I haven’t seen a better self-administered socialist haircut since Duke Nukem.
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The trollers have really got the crew going. What happened to the insouciance of the Inseminators thread?
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I think we’re all a little raw. Give it a day or so for us to realise nothing ever changes, and we’ll go back to bumpkobaiting.
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At least Tuckey lost! C’mon!
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Ironbar has been beaten by Crook. there was an interview yesterday where he said he wanted to remain in Parliament as long as Billy Hughes.
Fail.
He can go back to scaring horses in Ascot/Bumpkin on Swan
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People are actually telling others to read the constitution. It’s all getting a little unaustralian.
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But seriously, how do you think he gets his hair so fluffy? Hemp conditioner?
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The beard is more concerning.
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People with mismatched beards and hair will never cease to amuse me.
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his teeth are suspiciously at odds with his beard.
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I too noticed the pearly whites in contrast to the unruly mop. And yes Bento hemp shampoo will do that to your hair. I speak from bitter past experience.
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People with beards and no hair amuse me even more.
Especially women.
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it’s hair and a beard?
I though he was wearing a mohair balaclava
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something like this:
http://haphazardlife.blogspot.com/2006/09/ohmygawwwd.html
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but organic. i guess that accounts for the colour.
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hand shorn from biodynamic free range ranga alpacas
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Arthur Machen found/
It lurking beneath a stone/
A wee socialist
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you trying to sound smart?
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Constantly, it is my curse
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Close similarity to Norville Rogers.
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Link fail. try again
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Here are some pictures showing what I was doing during election bruhaha.
Photographing, not the fishing.
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Very nice, TLA. I particularly like this one. I was murdering The King and Frankie in a karaoke bar myself.
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I thought you might also like this one. has elements of worstness plus is a nice photo.
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I was intrigued. How hard can it be to wash a teaspoon, or have I just picked up too many habits of my adopted home ?
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You need some used teabags as well. By that I mean bags that contained tea, not scrotums which have been gently laid on top of a passed out bro’s forehead.
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when right-wing whackjobs think that they are not getting enough traction by trolling the net trying to get insulted by people who do not share their narrow perspective,
they do this:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2010/aug/23/ayn-rand-world-largest-book-ad
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and like the quasi-right wing one handers who have posted here, the Ayn Rand fan did it blind-folded and one-handed
wot a cok
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unlike u I dont wank over Marks.
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Mark’s what?
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What do you wank over?
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I have started WARP (Western Australian Revolutionary Party)…I am its only member, el presidente, treasurer and bottle-washer. The manifesto can be found at
http://www.georgefripley.wordpress.com/
it is quite obviously the only viable option for all good West Australians
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You had me right up to Wilson Tuckey george.
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lol
Unfortunately the WACA will have to be expandedd to accommodate the number of public servants. I suggest that the stadium be moved to the new shit creek which is apt considering the chances of the Western Retravision Warriors ever since Justin ‘Thousand and a half yard stare’ Langer retired.
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fine work george, i particularly like the mining tax funding shit creek.
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The Mad Katter’s Tea Party, Day One
I never thought it would provide such entertainment right from the start. Abbott hasn’t even got to the Lodge yet and is already making himself look unfit to govern. Makes you wonder exactly when he might give his policies to Treasury for costing – some time before his first budget one hopes.
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I turned on the radio this morning in the middle of a discussion about how poorly he came across on television last night.
They said he looked sweaty and twitchy, and questioned the wisdom of putting himself under such close public scrutiny when he was clearly having difficulty coping
I thought they were going a bit far when they said that his behaviour should scare young people, but then realised they were talking about the Ben Cousins doco
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Yes. I’d always thought landslides were the go, but this has been so much better. Gillard has not only made this the sweetest victory of all, she’s even managed to do Abbott more slowly than Keating did Hewson.
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darling, it was a pleasure.
happy to oblige.
i’m guessing rich is applying lime green highlight camouflage as we speak?
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Numbers don’t lie, and Tony Abbott didn’t have the cohones to deliver victory.
Now lets see the Liberal-National bloodletting begin!
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Colin Barnett is already Spewing – and Brendan Grylls has been made impotent as a deliverer of rorts for Regions.
I’m as happy as Larry.
Now for the Senate Inquiry into our Media and their blatant bias.
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It didn’t take Colin too long to start spewing. Oh well, let him. I suspect that come next State election he’ll be looking for a new job himself, so he should be allowed to enjoy all the tanty time he can.
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he’s hoping people don’t look too close at his minority government and what independents can offer against a two party paradigm.
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I saw Abbott saying that he didn’t want to be known as the best opposition leader never to become PM
Jeez, he’s two lengths behind Latham, three behind Crean and a furlong behind Beasley and Hewson, and those are just the last four.
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Hewson, Downer, Nelson, Turnbull
scull
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Peacock, Hayden
scull
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Billy Sneddon
died with his pants off
and still better than Aboott
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When Barnaby gets out of that gimp cage …
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Yup. I sure as hell can’t wait for that bloodletting. I am sure that Tones will get the arse because, let’s face it, the coalition didn’t exactly do all that well vote-wise either did they? Hopefully the Coalition will have learned their lesson and choose somebody who possesses a streak of sanity rather than another proto-Nazi. Also, the next election will be anyone’s game, really, won’t it? This is the ALP’s chance to redeem itself and get back to its roots, but also to show that it can work with others. Then hopefully the Coalition will stay in the wilderness for some time yet. Finally, may the Greens get stronger and stronger.
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He, and a mass of of misinformed “average” ‘dumb punters’.
Now, I wonder, can we get around to creating an administration and parliament that is not primarily concerned with egos, party politics, pork barreling, personal aggrandisement, and playing ‘mates’ games.
Getting things done for the general benefit of the nation as a whole would be a refreshing change.
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No.
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Dreamer.
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It’s a wonderful day, rolly, but let’s not get carried away.
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Congratulations Vegan. You are now the official Prime Minister of TWOP and by popular consensus rather than ninja tactics.
It was bold gamble that it paid off but only by the slimmest of margins and also created one of the most interesting elections for years.
I can only hope that your promise to forge “a new paradigm” will lead TWOP into a new and exciting era where emotional intellectualism can flourish and lead us all into a brave new world.
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what have you got against ninjas?
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hah! who says i didn’t use ninjas?
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on the outskirts of the town the road ends, a weatherboard box with a cat flap at either end stands, Tony Abbott/Julie Bishop how-to-vote leaflets line the chicken wire fence, mongrel dogs sprawl about the yard sniffing nurries, copulating fiercely with anything that moves,
only the hint of lime-green highlights give an indication of the occupant,
a single strand of wire emerges from the top of the box, this is the only connection to the outside world, self-imposed isolation, but with massive capacity for porn bandwidth
neighbours shun this place, nested among bare unfenced paddocks redolent with paterson’s curse and DDT, the creaking willow died years ago, the water dried up, the weeds moved in, the cat flap never opens
the end of the road, at the end of the town, at the end of the wire, civilisation ends, wildness takes over from the end of the town,
decrepitude, irrelevance, and hubris abound
fuck off were full
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it was great to see the Libs kicking off the new era of ‘kind and gentle polity’ with a comment that the new government ‘has as much legitimacy as the Pakistani cricket team’
I would have thought that after Joe’s Paris Hilton quip that they would have stopped trying to shoehorn references to popular culture
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…and take your biblebashing climate-change denier with you.
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One more person to add to my list of people i hate Alex Bainbridge along with Julia Gillard and Tony Abott. So Come back Kevin Rudd.
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