When WAtching claims he has a masterpiece, I say “Hold the front page.” The veining is exquisitely done no? You wouldn’t get this quality in a Pompeii knock shop although the duck should have it on some kind of leash.
Worst Talk
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The Worst of Perth 
tres magnifique!
Surely one for the 2011 calendar.
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Isn’t it just beautiful. My hands were shaking as I took the shot. The more I look at it the more I like it. The Rounded balls. The bold veinwork. The dribbling onto the brekdown lane.
Is that the artists signature alongside?
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I can’t beleive you cropped that shot TLA… sniff.
Does no one find the subject matter a little creepy in a “Pied Piper of Hamelin” kind of way?
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I didn’t crop anything important did I? Just making the focus on the real subject.
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re: photo editing – slippery slope / hitler / nazi’s etc.
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I just cropped out a bit of the road so people could see the veining in more detail.
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Great composition for sure, everyone loves good veining detail.
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Tis fine TLA. Just thought it was a nice shot. But I agree, the veinwork is worth blowing up!
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Anyone who read this brilliantly researched and beautifully written piece by Jack Marx probably does, WAtching.
Speaking of brilliance, on the topic of the crop, I’m reminded of these words from Richard Woldendorp, when I was lucky enough many years ago to have an audience with him. “Photography is the opposite of painting. With painting, you begin with a blank canvas and put in what you want. With photography, you begin with the world, and have to get everything else out of the shot.”
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Great link.
Glad it not just me!
Lovely Quote.
When photographing worsts- go wide. There is always another worst in the background. Always a Cocos, a Norfolk or Penis Graffiti.
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Incorrect. The first rule is, if there’s a back door or up skirt shot, get that first. You can always go wide later. If you get the Cocos but miss the flange, you’ll be kicking yourself.
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Sorry. Right you are.
Back-door and flange and THEN bluesky shot.
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Nonsense. The out of focus, poorly framed camera phone pic has been a staple of TWOP since forever.
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WAtching! You have excelled yourself my friend. Simply fabulous and the veining is sensational but i am loving that love juice.
Is the duck in anticipation of some rumpy pumpy or post coital? so many questions for a tuesday morning……
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I note the rusting screw behind the main duck provides an added effect.
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Literally, and figuratively, this is the duck’s nuts.
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In breaking willy news. Our wheelchair man is now sans penis. Another vanished worst.
Good timing I think, as there is clearly too much dick-graff about.
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I think Wheelchair penis and the one above are a cut above. They show the “Tulip” and “Rope” schools to be what they really are… pale pastiche. Cock Art 101.
And they just keep disappearing.
Men of TWOP- check your pants, disappearing cock could happen to anyone.
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Oh yeah, fuck a duck!
A beautifully realised sketch of a well endowed mallard, sensationally captured for posterity.
The angle of the duck’s body does seem to indicate some proud thrusting.
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i’m loving dick-graff shazza. it’s a such a lovely turn of phrase:)
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ta mp, I am still trying to work prick-prolific into a gag.
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Stiffy graf , mp ?
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noice one snuffy! she looks kinda hot in that photo.
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Maybe the artist was trying to get the kids interested in ornithology?
http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/12/ballistic_penises_and_corkscrew_vaginas_-_the_sexual_battles.php
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Well, evert me. Thanks, WS. Great link.
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spruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut
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Where was this masterpiece taken??
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Oh, I forgot to say. Baldivis.
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i’ve always considered Badlivis to be the correct pronunciation
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I think it should hereafter be known as: “Balldivis”
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I have always preferred Bald Anus
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Leave him alone, skink.
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Yes let’s not start all that up again.
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I agree.
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Start What?
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that.
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This?
*see comments
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were you thinking clean as a whistle – back, sack and crack wax bald anus skink?
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damn straight
it was a reference to an earlier riff about crack waxers
but snuff was making mischief
sacre bleu! more research:
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/romance-passion/yes-yes-yes-no-yes-in-search-of-the-gspot-1884304.html
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snuff? making mischief? unimaginable!
this may post twice – first one disappeared.
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Maybe I should do Jimmy Cagney instead, mp ?
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maybe you should snuffy, i’d laugh – i’m still laughing at that clown john cleese – my gawd he is a comedic genius is he not? i follow him on twitter and he calls us all twats quite regularly :)
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sorry skinkinator, that reads like i was calling you a bald anus – which of course i am completely happy to do if you like it, otherwise
unintentional.
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Fondly referred to by its denizens as The Dives.
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thankfully, with the new freeway, Baldivis is one more place that I never ever have to drive through again
thank you, thank you, Alannah
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They even produce wine in Baldivis.
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i think you’ll find that’s spelled whine.
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Will Nairn makes some magnificent wines in Baldivis. I have some in my cellar. Still doesn’t entice me to go to Baldivis. (unless of course I can scam an invite to the Great Shiraz Tasting – hint, hint)
thankfully they deliver.
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Speaking of which it is a burning.
https://internet.fesa.wa.gov.au/alerts/Pages/Alert.aspx?ItemId=481
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Great news LA!!
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/entertainment/a/-/television/6750951/cast-of-cloudstreet-announced/
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Should I have heard of any of those guys?
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Yeah, Stephen Curry, you remember!
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Where are the Ray Baretts, the Robert Helpmanns, the Bruce Spences? Oh yeah, dead. Except for Bruce.
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Ruth Cracknell….
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that’s Tim Curry as Franknfurter
Stephen Curry was the thick son in The Castle and did the Graham Kennedy biopic last year.
Kerry Fox was in “Angel at my Table” and recently in ‘Bright Star’
it’s quite a decent cast.
won’t stop it from being The Sullivans on Swan
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I much prefer the image of them rowing the boat on the Swan at night, singing “But maybe the rain!!”
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The Castle. Fuck that was a piece of shit. Some plonker raved about how good it was to me. I have removed them from the list of reviewers I’d listen to.
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the cunninghams of claremont
the munsters of mosman park
the partridges of peppy grove
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A friend of mine was door bitch at a gig one night at the Cherry Bar in Melbs when Stephen Curry turned up and pulled a bit of the old “do you know who I am”, in an attempt to gain free entry. She didn’t. Old Steve had to pay like everyone else.
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Geoff Morrell – wasn’t he the mayor in Grassroots?
I know tim winton is a swear word around here, but I really enjoyed Cloudstreet and as I like watching TV, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll watch this.
Cameo by Timbo??
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who is going to play the retarded son?
will they ‘do the full retard”?
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Eddie Perfect could pull that off no?
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you never go full retard
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I heard that they are talking to Leonardo for that role.
If they can’t get him, they will try for Sam Worthington.
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I think Tim might take on the demanding role as the retarded son. Or a Duging
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Or even a Dugong.
A good Duging is what Tim needs.
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I believe the tag says: Mergok.
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I think it’s Merge, with a gangsta’d up Pi symbol at the end.
Maths is mad gangsta these days.
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but everybody knows Perth drivers can’t merge
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That’s so true that my friends made a game of it on our recent visit, skink. Every time we were blocked or cut off, when in Japan we would have undoubtedly been politely let in, my passengers instinctively erupted in shouts of “Thank you, thank you !”
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Wood Duck
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Or perhaps one of these?
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Looks like it’s just had an Aylesbury.
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yes, he’s doing the duck sprut strut
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yum, aylesbury!
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No. the female Golden Cascade has buff plumage and black beak. This is all black. It’s the Daffy Duck breed.
Any way I’m over the duckhead. Whats’s next TLA?
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Not prepared to give any props for the Golden Shower gag? Hmph.
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I thought you were game attempting such quackery.
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Say what you like, it’s all water off a … oh, never mind.
I’ll get my coat.
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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bar tender “I’ll have a beer”.
The bartender says “Bloody Hell! A talking duck! where did you come from?”
The duck says “I’m working the construction site across the street”.
The bartender says, “Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?”
And the duck said “What would the circus want with a plasterer?”
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A man is driving a ute down the freeway with twenty ducks standing in the back. A cop pulls him up to ask him where he’s going with all the ducks. The driver says that he doesn’t know what to do with them anymore. The cop says, “Look, there’s a zoo not far from here and that’s where you should take them.” The man thanks the officer and drives off with his ducks.
The next day the cop sees the same ute on the freeway. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are wearing sunglasses. The cop pulls the driver over and says, “I thought I told you to take those ducks to the zoo!” “I did,” said the driver, “but now they want to go to the beach!”
thenkyou thenkyou goodnite
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And I think you’ll find spruuut has three ‘u’s, youse.
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Why was I censoring that? Particularly the boozies? Those were different more innocent times eh?
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I seem to recall you wanted to spare us young folk the sight of something they used to call ‘pubic hair’, whatever that is.
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Re-reading that thread is like a walk back in time. How prescient we were – Troy’s career was over, Matt Birney was a shining new hope, and Colon Bayonet was yesterday’s man. Quite the crystal ball-gazers we are…
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Regular Nathan Wrights, Bento.
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Excellent.
A chap from Centrebet was on the wireless this morning talking with admirable self-assurance about how Centrebet was not taking wagers on an interest rate rise because it was an absolute certainty.
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Awesome. Missed that one the first time round.
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I’m not rembering much pubic hair (I’ll check the files) but there was rampant use of strap ons.
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Nothing wrong with my memory, despite my best efforts.
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By the way, I had to Woogle ‘”David Cohen” pubic hair’ to find that. I don’t want to talk about what I found.
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You found plenty of hair, that’s for sure.
Pubic, cranial, facial, phalangical: you name it, I’ve got it.
Here hair here.
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Didn’t know you were a falangist. I thought you were just swarthy…
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Thanks Bento.
You’ve given me a real insight.
Glad you like ducks…
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It is a truly spectacular Worst, WAtching. I understand your nervousness taking the pic – I would’ve taken about 50, just to be sure.
I bought my sister three Indian Runner ducks as an anniversary present a few years ago. One of them ended up having a limp. I appreciated the irony.
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Ducks are an unwise gift at any time…
Were they out of Geese?
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I got Shazza a chicken once.
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I hope it was organic…
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He did take 50.
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Now this is a post worthy of 100 comments.
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I would have thought so.
Back to 1 post a day?
Or just for this classic worst?
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Response #98
I have nothing to say except well done – preferably slowly, at a reduced temperature.
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Not twice fried?
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actually ducks do have really long penises- the longest was reported at over 42cm.. and they’re spiral shaped.
see here: http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/EnviroRepublish_366856.htm
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… and here.
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Say what you will, I won’t be happy if Mrs Bento tells her friends I’m hung like a duck.
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Hysterical. I’m pushing out the z’s by 10.45pm, can’t you guys be this funny a bit earlier?
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Strangely erotic.
Now I am off to feed the ducks
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