Mrs. Durant: Oh, isn’t he a marvelous dentist?
Harvey Greenfield: Great.
Mrs. Durant: But with his talents he would have made an even better obstetrician.
Cactus Flower 1969

Just because we haven’t had worst garden/worst plant in a while. Guildford Road Maylands. Perhaps a brave attempt?


Maybe I should start putting in worst not worst polls? I’ve no idea what youse are going to think not worst sometimes.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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38 Responses to Succulent

  1. poor lisa says:

    You need to put those polls on every post now.


  2. Rolly says:

    Dyslexia strikes.

    I thought that the poll reference was to the plant supports.


  3. skink says:

    not worst

    we live in semi arid fecken sand dunes. everyone should be planting waterwise gardens.

    it looks crap now, but when the plants are strong enough to stand on their own, and the posts are removed, they will look terrific

    anyone seen planting iceberg roses behind their white picket fence should be made to pay a fuckwit surcharge.

    bravo on the voting buttons


    • Those plants will never stand on their own. And the votes seem to be saying worst.
      Yes polls on all posts except weekend stuff might be good.


      • skink says:

        you seem to be assuming that just because the majority of people hold a certain opinion, then it must be right.

        that didn’t hold water for daylight saving, Sunday trading, George Bush, or that big lass on Australian Idol, and it won’t work for limp cacti in Maylands.

        I agree that the pink bricks are horrid, but if you’ve bought a house on Guildford Road in Maylands, you’ve already set the bar pretty low. The front of every other house is a car yard.


    • Bento says:

      When the plants are strong enough to stand on their own, and the posts are removed, they will just be stronger, free-standing worsts.

      The Naderesque fucken worst option could hand victory to the not worst camp, I fear.

      And just because every fucken Council in Perth thinks pink bricks with a cream brick border is the answer for every public space, doesn’t mean we all have to put it in our front yards, too.


    • mrs stone says:

      Skink, you can do water wise without the fugly factor. How about Grevillias or some such flowering native that also provide shelter and food for native birds. These succulents just suck.

      BTW got a Patti post in today.


      • skink says:

        you just described my block.

        bonus points for using ‘patriarchy’

        negative points would have been given if you had fallen into the trap of using ‘hegemony’


  4. Groucho says:

    I believe we are seeing new beginnings in the ongoing evolution of insects. Bugs that need to adapt to eating plastic leaves. And who knows what next, Coles shopping bags, leftover Austalia Day flags and the entire fleet of MacDonalds plastic toy kids meal giveaways.

    Does this spell dessaster ? I think not !!!


  5. David Cohen says:

    Ye gods. This is fecken hideous. Like Day of the Triffids. Except they’re not moving, and there’s a lot of pink brick.

    skink’s antennae are one the blink. I suspect he had his fecken morning tea Tim Tam too early. Feck!


  6. Ljuke says:

    Are those Triffids?


  7. Snuff says:

    Were they wives, maybe. Otherwise, worst.

    As for polls, the comments are already a poll, albeit a self-evidently superior one. Each to their own, but I’m just not interested in numbers; I’m interested in reading people’s reasons and justifications, the more absurd the better. I’m aware that it’s not an either/or situation, yet I don’t want to be deprived of any by having the lazy option of merely clicking a dumbs up or down. I’m as keen on democracy as poor lisa, but I’ll be abstaining from any such nonsense.


  8. green thumbs says:

    abso-fucking-lutely delightful the way the triffids have been wound around the poles like some vegetable may day pole.


  9. Bonnie says:

    Hmm, that was a tough call.

    I’m not a fan of these particular succulents, but I had to go Not Worst, as I have an awesome Giant Cactus in my own backyard.

    Admittedly it’s mulched with brick rubble (I didn’t do it!), which is pretty Worst, but the cactus itself is a giant Not Worst.


  10. Cimbali says:

    I voted worst just based on the photo but now I compare the succulents with the lucky bamboo I have just been given I am thinking maybe they are not worst.
    What is it about lucky bamboo? It looks plastic, is stuck unsteadily in a shallow pot and tied together with a piece of tinsel.
    I have put it in the toilet area but as there is no natural light I now have to keep the door open for it!
    They tell me it will improve the fungsh wee but I am not so sure.


  11. What is definitely a worst is that wordpress has hacked off forty thousand hit stats from my count. They apparently will be returned at some time.


  12. David Cohen says:

    Hacked off?

    Or have they hacked 40,000 hits stats off?

    You dummy.


    • wha fuck you talk about?


      • mrs stone says:

        LA I am going to use your uncouth grammar (albeit intentional) to vent. I know you are fed up with Chong but after reading her latest blog while downing a Howling Wolf or two I must expurgate and nominate.

        Nomination goes to Perth bloggers being some of the most illiterate, semi literate, or is that hyper illitierate morons in Oz. Some of the comments supporting Chongs “she asked for it” article were almost indecipherable. Never mind their bogus arguments. I was Aubergine with outrage. I will now hit the balcony, banjo in hand, and continue my Friday night.

        PS. has anyone noticed that Inside Cover is referring to Rhonda Wylie as La Wylie.


      • Richarbl says:

        Well done TLA I noticed that expressed your indignation by
        using lowercase when referring to WordPress.


      • Bento says:

        It’s a ‘died in the paper’ kind of gag.


  13. Richarbl says:

    I wish to rescind my vote of ‘not worst’. I was originally impressed with the geometric spacing of the plants but later realised they were actually cacti and would grow up to be fucking ugly like all cacti. What was I thinking?
    Is it too late to change my vote or am I imperiled for the rest of eternity?


  14. White Ghost says:

    from one white-ghost to another,

    Saw these similarly tied up on a farm in SE Asia last week and thought of youse.

    plant ID and possible un-worstener

    PS TLA, TWOP site is the mintox P-town has been lacking. Top darts!


  15. Turf says:

    Dragon Fruit?
    They are all over Vietnam.


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