El Caballo Blanco (Which means “The” Caballo Blanco) may stir up the remeniscing mixed with slagging off loved by TWOP readers, a-la Pizza Showtime. Apparently in1974 there was nothing to do but wait for Gough to implode or drive for miles into the country to see some premium horse stamping at El Caballo. Cookster who bafflingly keeps banging on about how we don’t have enough sunlight in cold dark Perth summers was apparently touched enough by the sun to hit ‘Blanco only a few weeks ago. For some reason he didn’t take a shot of a room, but he did get a shot of a picture of someone riding a crosseyed horse. Some dry dolphins, one of which needs to wipe its chin, and some wet mermaids.
I’m thinking of issuing a TWOP worst gathering manual. It would include not telling me about a great picture you didn’t take. & If you come across public art, FIRST get the closeups of boozies, willies and back doors. THEN if you have time get the establishing shot. One correspondent went all the way to China and didn’t take a shot up the skirt of a bronzed woman statue. People. Think. Cookster, where are the ecu’s of the boozies and the gobbling dolphins? How were the arses of the mermaids handled? Any crack or just scales? Get closer.
The Worst of Perth 
The horse in cross-eyed because Cortez has nailed his leg to the horse. He vowed to die in the saddle.
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Dolphins and mermaids in Woorooloo. More or less ridiculous than walruses in Morley?
Discuss.
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waited 1.5hrs in 40 degree heat for a room that was being renovated. put into a shitty carpet stained, dusty room and apparently we should have been grateful to receive no extra charge. bugs in the spa, no change for $20 note at the bar…. a friggin donkey the highlight of the “dancing” horse show. Promised buffet dinner, however no buffet…and no table!!!!
this event organised over a month in advance, but they still had the nerve to refuse a refund. The servo up the road offered a better feast. shame we couldn’t eat the chips, because el cabelo had “borrowed” them to feed the unseated and very unsatisfied 11…..
SAVE YOUR TIME AND MONEY!!!
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Any photos? xx xxxxxxx xxx xxxxx xx xxx xxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxx xxxx xx xx x xxxxxxx xxxx
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Isn’t the bloke on the horse Jim McGinty, riding out of his electorate for the last time as it seems to be turning green?
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Even as an undiscerning kid, when everything seems relatively normal, I found the idea of this place bizarre, and although I spent much of my childhood in Kal, wherever it was that El Caballo Blanco was located seemed like it was an epic trek away from Cott.
We never took the EK on that trek, and yet the dolphins and mermaids come as little surprise. Somehow this strikes me as a teaser, TLA, and I suspect there is much more worst to be found there.
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“Somehow this strikes me as a teaser, TLA, and I suspect there is much more worst to be found there.”
That was my point. if Cookster had the Perth Guide to gathering Worsts (isdn 666666666) there would have been a far more outre post.
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This is in effect a peer-reviewed blog so it’s about time for the official Worst image-gathering guide.
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As a young girl I was besotted with the dancing Andalusions. I dreamt of being one of the ladies fortunate enough to don those brightly coloured, heavily frilled costumes, and canter around the arena. SO cant find any way to put the boot in now…..unlike Patti Chong putting the boot into TWOP today.
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She does? I still refuse to look at her blog.
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Allow me, sir:
“And to Skink …
Skink, I didn’t check my name. Someone brought it to my notice. They wouldn’t, by any chance, be the worst people in Perth, would they?”
First comment in her ‘Yellow Peril’ comment.
I have no idea what she refers to, and I can’t be bothered to spend the time investigating further… needless to say I think her comment piece ranges from a little to a lot wrong.
I’d post a reply there, but I don’t want to joint the WA Today blogging community and help Fairfax make money off my work. If they want to make money off me they can pay me.
(TWOP, on the otherhand, I do for free since I’m sure no one is making money off it).
Of course, if I were to comment there I would assuredly refer to her acutely sensitive Chinese ears with reference to Mr Spock, who was in some ways based on an idea of the inscrutable Chinaman (as they would have said in the 1960s) and his remarkable ears and copper-infused blood.
By that stage I would be so tangled up in metaphor that I would just note the Chinese have been accused of trying to bug Rudd’s office.
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I’ll save you the trouble:
she quoted in her column some nasty comments about how she wasn’t a real Aussie and should be deported.
The quotes were from an obscure racist website:
http://australianidentity.net/index.php?topic=2653.0
don’t look at it, you’ll only get angry.
I suggested that the presence of a few racist nutjobs did not constitute a nationwide xenophobic conspiracy, and that she would only have discovered these grubby little scrotes if she had been googling her own name again.
she then assumed that I was talking about this noble instrument.
her column is quite an interesting read this week, with the moderator allowing a stream of comments suggesting that she is completely hatstand and begging the editor to get rid of her.
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That is an obscure website. Only 135 other people (I will assume I am 138, you are 137 and Patti is 136) have read it.
That website is likely to be Comedy Gold(TM). I think I’ll read the relationship issues forum while I eat my lunch.
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bloody hell, you warned me not to look but of course i just couldn’t help myself. Your’e right it did piss me off.
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I’ll say one thing for it: it’s more rational and considered than some of the white pride websites I’ve looked at.
Stormfront.org springs to mind.
The problem is whenever I go to those places I get Dave Chapelle’s “White Power” war cry in my head.
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I looked too. It’s like the Gorgons.
Angry now.
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This comment was on her blog this morning: I must confess I don’t get it…
‘Don’t bother replying to those people who say you aren’t Australian. They aren’t worth a response.
‘I wonder how Australian they are, or whether they’re so angry they come out with whopper lies, whatever is the truth.
‘It will never be the same to all beef, Patti. Special sources? Let us choose or pick some dungeons and – Open Sesame! – they’ll see they’re bums.’
Some people have too much time on their hands.
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They do indeed.
That’s made my day.
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Viral advertising by one of the American burger companies?
I confess, I’m unsure if it’s the Golden Arches or the company that used to advertise itself using pirate-themes.
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the name of that correspondent, a Mr. Herring, makes me suspect that it is a nom de plume for one of our regulars
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Noun/Verb Poems:
Horse flinches.
Fountain empties.
Boozies oxidise.
Aussies laze.
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Twas difficult to get the worsts I wanted because the rellies were already pissed off with me for updating my facebook status to say: I can’t believe I’m going to El Caballo – pass me the moselle and flairs.
At about 11.30pm after many wines had passed lips I got the old, ‘so, saw your facebook – didn’t you want to come?’ I was NOT in favour with the in-laws.
So forgive me the lack of the ‘plastic flower and spider web atrium’, or the 1982 room decor complete with antique airconditioner, or the garish paintings, etc, etc, but I couldn’t poke the wasp’s nest any more.
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Everybody sing
“El Caballo Blanco, we’ll have a barrel of fun
at El Caballo Blanco
Come on join in the fun”
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Always…..well sometimes, El Cabalo Blanco reminds of the song “O la paloma blanca, I´m just a bird in the sky. O la paloma blanca, over the mountains I fly. Yes, no one can take my freedom away”.
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Well they were both one and the same with the Ad Agency giving J Bouwens who wrote the original a few exrtra dollars in Royalties for using the melody.
And it shows how diverse The George Baker Collection were with Little Green Bag being used in a Tarantino Film and 5 Years later recording Paloma Bianca.
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Jeez Frank, I know someone has said this before but you are an effin encyclopedia – have you ever thought of ruling the world?
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And I finally found a video of Mr Baker Performing said song:-)
And note the message from bikeshortz.
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I’m a bit disappointed there is no reference to “bring on the dancing horses… headless and all alone” in this thread, especially given the age of most people here…
I’m also somewhat shocked to find out El Caballo Blanco is still going. I had imagined it to be in a state of decay similar to Atlantis Marine Park (a previous Worst if I am not mistaken)…. complete with headless horses (or, apparently, dolphins).
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If my information is correct, it did shut down for some years, and was reopened a few years ago as a golf & convention resort. The horses have only just been reintroduced.
The original Andalucians (Shazza, you might want to look away now), were apparently retired to a Special Rural shithole swampland in Wattle Grove, where they foraged for scraps amongst all sorts of broken down machinery, chook sheds, and buried carcinogens. I understand the property was regularly visited by the RSPCA. I assume they have since been used by kindergartens to create papier mache sculptures.
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Thats twice today Iv’e been told not to look, couldnt help myself, looked, wished I hadnt. Surely you jest. My beautiful horsies turned to glue, and pies? Those nags arent cheap you know.
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especially after the redparrot reminiscences
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andelusions?
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Folks, the original El Caballo Blanco opened in 1974 and was closed in 1990 in the wake of the recession. It’s Spanish Andalusian horses were sold off overseas.
The current owner gives a poignant speech mid-arena before the show to explain why it’s not quite as spectacular as some people may remember.
In some ways it’s as though someone threw a blanket over the place for 15 years, then whipped it off, gave it a quick dust and opened the doors again.
Quite the perfect venue for a TWOP convention. Dress code would be 1974 casual and we could engage Tony Barber to come along and do his rendition of the theme song.
Imagine it, the whiff of Brut 33 and horse shit over the dance floor, carafes of moselle and lemonade on every table, body shirts…
Shall I get started at looking at costs for a group booking?
Captain Cookster’s Crap Escapes – ‘Live the Worst!’
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Thanks to Barcelona Tonight’s beatup on “City In Strife” on Monday Night, Dr Karlo wants to return to 1974 Liquor Trading Hours.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/03/2534746.htm
Next he’ll be calling for a reunion of Chalice at the Charles Hotel.
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Fuck, that it’s in line two should be its…
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Why worry when you spelt flares wrong previously?
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When I wear them they ARE flairs.
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Cookster – “sold off overseas” sounds like a euphemism to me.
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Yes, could well be. They may well have ended up on the menu – horsesdouvres anyone?
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I hope they stamped their disapproval all the way to the processing facility.
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Stop it! Just stop it you lot.
To imply that those majestic horses would end up pet food is as silly as suggesting anyone would do that to a racehorse.
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i heard that one of the white horses got sold to Scotland
he went into a pub there and the barman said:
“do you know that we’ve got a whisky named after you?”
“what, Eric?”
I thank you
I’m here all week
try the hors d’oeuvres
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http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2343/2214385629_114162868b.jpg?v=0
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Alas poor Cedric. I knew him, Skink.
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Oops that should have read Eric, Cedric was another story.
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And I thought El Caballo was bad…
http://www.themeparkreview.com/fantazyland/fantazyland.htm
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i got a job there in 1999 it had been closed for a long time and my job was to help get it cleaned up so it could be reopened .
the new owners were kilgrath holdings .
after a lot of hard slog we got it cleaned it looked good but not quite the same as in its hey day
i believe it closed down again after xxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx or so the story goes
just thought you would like to know
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Thats looks pretty nice to me. The fountains deserted but hey go inside and i bet its probally alright.
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LOL, Do any of you live in the Hills? Do any of you have any understanding how much money, hard work and heartbreak went into those horses? I doubt you can even comprehend the amount of money that went into importing them in the first place. (Do you really think they’d end up starved to death somewhere?) That place was a icon for many many years and supported many locals with much needed jobs. Those that worked there years ago still hold a lot of good memories of the place. Some people even met their partners for life there. Of cause its not as flash today, things do tend to go out of fashion over a 20-30 year period, (Maybe some of you have that problem too)….I think the place could be something great under good management. And yes I do not what happened to the horses as I have one.
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It’s a little hard to argue that the whole concept of the place wasn’t ridiculous. People even thought it was corny when it started. Don’t start on the Hills. Plenty of semi rurotards here.
It’s a bit like the guy getting angry about his gemini being posted. Dude, you’ve got a Gemini.
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I don’t think it’s a laughing matter, Kat.
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And really, ECB is one of those things we love – that is also ridiculous.
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It’s almost as if you go out of your way to offend and upset with these insensitive posts LA.
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It’s a tribute… ah fuck it.
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A-a-a-h-h-h!
Horse riding.
The pubescent females masturbatory substitute for sex that some seem never to quite grow out of.
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And what about blokes who ride horses?
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Either bumpkin or fruity. Take your pick.
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Let’s not go there</a. again.
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Link fail. Kinda.
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Why is the statue in the deserted pool and i find the fountain dirsturbing for some reason.
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This ECR news just in…
http://www.fairwork.gov.au/media-centre/media-releases/2011/09/Pages/20110908-mmp-prosecution.aspx
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Should the horses have been on a higher rate per stamp?
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I was wondering if TL101 had missed this post, but no…
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Someone should be axxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The horses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Maybe a new home for @ThePerthCactus?
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Hey, the return of teh Cookster! You’re not going to beg me to take this comment down in a few days are you? Maybe I’ll pre-censor it in anticipation.
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You’re trying to shift out the cactus already?
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No, I’m liking the cactus – maybe they can take it up to the stamping horses for a few cameo performances? Better still, build a second rate replica out of plaster and chicken wire.
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Haven’t had a good look at the cactus yet, but I’m giving it the thumbs up because it isn’t a shithouse bronze of Herb Elliott or Shirley Strickland.
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I thought it was OK, bit then after speaking to a friend who s an artist (yes actually makes a living out of selling her art) have changed my mind. Thumbs down.
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Your friend is obviously jealous… is her beef with me, or my creator James Angus?
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Dude, she lives in Freo. Total jealousy. They have the wonderful thalidomide John Curtin down there. No need for your kind.
Actually Freo’s public art is a substantial step worse thhan Perth’s, if that sounds possible.
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Hey, I’m a fan of all public art… but that bronze Bon Scott’s a bit bolshy though. Nothing worse than a bronze sculpture on a cheap scotch bender.
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It’s just a shortarse near a fish and chips shop. Should be 30metres high.
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shazz, i’m a designer. it’s great.
now, have you changed your mind?
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It has its own twitter account @theperthcactus – quite the talkative succulent too.
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I for one am a big fan of the cactus, although up close it is very shiny and quite tactile and not at all prickly. To me it looks more like something created by the Chapman brothers by melting together a collection of enormous dildos. You really want to be able to flick a switch and feel it vibrate.
no? just me then
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Now that would be a vibrant hub.
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Forrest Place would be renamed Grafenberg Spot
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But then would it exist ?
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ooh look: Perthnow had a readers’ poll to decide a name for it. ‘Cactus’ was favourite, beating out ‘the booger’ and ‘the blob’
‘She-Ra’s big multi-headed dildo’ didn’t make the list.
http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/western-australia/m-sculpture-erected-in-forrest-place/story-e6frg15c-1226116992649
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She-Ra and Patti Patti would be all over that at the mud wrestling
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