Slumber Party

Since the crappiness of The West is still the all time favourite topic on this blog, displacing even boozies as number one, perhaps it needs a specific post to seriously look yesterday’s editor coup. The marvellous Sunili was able to sneak reasonably close to the WA Newspapers christmas party in Kings Park to get this shot and to note some snippets of teh buzz. What a day for The West party eh? Armstrong on a holiday boning, the erstwhile head of The Shanghai Daily taking over, Paul Murray smelling like a stale fart… It was all happening! Unfortunately Sunili wasn’t able to get close enough to record the inevitable dry humping, “baby elephant” performing, dead legging, camel biting, Chinese burning, corn holing, cork soaking, spew catching, rough riding, Pam porking activities that went on late into the night, but never mind. Lawrie Apps is calling for Tony Bare-arse to make a triumphant return. Who is your pick for West editor? What’s the future for the Masthead?


About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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35 Responses to Slumber Party

  1. Frank Calabrese says:

    Give Carps the job, along with Karen Browne & Reece Whitby so they can get rid of the whole useless lot of “Journalists” and can give Colin & Co a taste of what the ALP had to put up with :-)

    And will Bob Cronin give Alison Fan a job on the West as she is being wasted on Today Tonight.


  2. skink says:

    good work Sunili

    learnt well you have, my young Paduan

    I don’t really care who gets the gig, as long as Limpwrist, Nurry and Big Pam get the arse.

    there are plenty of talented journos and snappers in Perth who have chosen not to work for the West, but who might go back if there was someone with vision and intelligence in the chair.

    The West have had their George Bush, now they need their Obama.


  3. skink says:

    now that Eoin Cameron joke has got me worried.

    It’s too close to being believable

    you can imagine them brainstorming ideas:

    “how about a fashion column by Melanie Greensmith?

    Basil Zampilas’ metrosexual diary?

    Dixie Marshall’s poetry corner?

    Gardening with Adam Gilchrist?

    and anything, anything, anything with Megan Gale.”


  4. Skink, re “there are plenty of talented journos and snappers in Perth who have chosen not to work for the West, but who might go back if there was someone with vision and intelligence in the chair.”

    Really Skink? There are? And if there were, would they? You have always been an arse half full kinda guy. The world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

    And Eoin Cameron? I’d say a high chance.


  5. And I should have added sand blasting, rug munching, blood letting, arse grabbing, prawn fishing, bag snatching, crab netting, pork swording, gravy boating, sheep shagging, pole vaulting, clam opening…
    to the list of activities that apparently went down there yesterday. True story.


  6. Cookster says:

    Not to mention beaver damming TLA!


  7. Damn straight. Everything but typesetting.


  8. skink says:

    well, DFOC is probably better qualified than me to comment on the available talent pool. As is my habit, I have made a gross generalisation based on a few passing anecdotes.

    maybe my use of the word ‘talented’ was a little hasty. Perhaps I should have said “plenty of journeymen hacks in Perth.”

    I can only point out that there are more Walkley winners currently working at the Sunday Times than the Worst, and it is reasonable to assume that quite a few of them would prefer to be published daily rather than weekly, so long as they didn’t have to work for a tosser like Armstrong.


  9. There’s a massive worst in the west today. Some plonker left half a Maddington house to The Fremantle Dockers in his will. Maddington? Dockers? Thats some gooooood worst.


  10. Bento says:

    I will be monitoring, eagerly awaiting the ‘Flatmate Wanted’ ads for the opportunity to share half a Maddington shithole with the Dockers.


  11. i think he actually carked it in there too.


  12. It could also be convenient to The Maddington Swingers Club.


  13. My Ning says:

    Before we get too excited about any possible shake ups at the Worst, we should stretch our minds back to the days when GWN was a Stokes concern.

    Basically it was shite – pure and simple. It employed mostly cadet journalists on minimal wages who only went there so they could get a grade and then get the fuck out, it hated paying both its people and expenses (I remember one time the company made a cameraman, who was based in Geraldton, catch a bus – a nine or so hour journey sans any Perth stopover – down to Bunbury to do some fill-in work) and it didn’t really care if camera people had to double up as journalists (without any recognition, of course).

    It also had some of the worst programming ever seen on a TV station. And the ads they produced? Country bumpkin is the first term that comes to mind.

    And of course back in the late 1990s Stokes told the media he was thrilled that a quality outfit like Rural Press bought the Canberra Times off him. Quality? Anybody ever worked for Rural Press? The fact an organisation like that is allowed to exist makes the idea of a union look redundant.

    No, what’s going to happen is that Stokes will put some of his cronies in charge and it’ll be the same old shite – possibly worse. Hell, he may even bring back Brian Rogers and his 72 point, two word-one tier front page headlines. It’ll be interesting to see how many of these can be used without too much repitition when the paper pumps out its daily stories on Ben Cousins.


  14. poor lisa says:

    There actually is a Thornlie swingers club, unfortunately I have met a couple who are practicing members; but not sure if there is a Maddington one LA.


  15. I saw a news report once where a fight broke out at The Maddington Swingers Club. Thornlie sounds classier though.


  16. skink says:

    wouldn’t they be practising members?

    or do they need the practice to keep their hand in, so to speak?


  17. Bento says:

    My, what exotic circles you move in, poor lisa.


  18. Rolly says:

    ……”exotic”, Bento?
    Or erotic?


  19. poor lisa says:

    I never knew the difference between practice and practise; now I do. I think I did mean practising, but I’m sure swinging, like most team sports, requires lots of practice.


  20. Bill O"Slatter says:

    The exotic circle requires years of practice with your members according to the Thornlie-Maddington swingers club


  21. Rolly says:

    What’s with all this golf chatter, folks??


  22. skink says:

    joining a swingers group would give you the opportunity to widen the circle of your friends.

    you can’t beat the classics


  23. Rolly says:

    Like having a different date each week?


  24. Bento says:

    Take my wife. Please.


  25. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Bento , I’ll circle a date for her date for the next Exotic Circle at the MTSC.


  26. Bento says:

    To be absolutely clear, I was endeavouring to make a joke of the Ugly Dave Grey variety, consistent with the fondness for classic gags espoused by skink.

    I was not soliciting invitations for Mrs Bento (hi honey!) to be accompanied to an ‘Exotic Circle’ in the south-eastern swamplands.

    That is all.


  27. Snuff says:

    Not quite all, Bento. Maestro !


  28. Bento says:

    Snuff – I was just playing with that thing yesterday! Obviously it swept the blogosphere…


  29. Cookster says:

    I saw a doco on nudists the other night and I wondered how they go about protecting the upholstery against all that crack sweat?


  30. Snuff says:

    It’s a tad infectious, is it not, Bento ? There are plenty of good ones, but this is my favourite so far.


  31. Snuff says:

    I’m really not sure, Cookster, but I think they have some kind of custom built houses.


  32. AND custom built cracks.


  33. Snuff says:

    The link above was obviously to the original clip, Bento, but here’s the full effect, dear viewers.


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