The Worst on Tour New Zealand. Pelvic Action

A WA connection on my first day in Christchurch. Apparently WA is trying to recruit NZ police officers. But first some disturbing news about a guy with a crushed pelvis. 3 in a bed New Zealand specialist Vic Demised tells me this is quite common when courting kiwi women. Note to self. Don’t let them go on top. The story says his horse rolled on him, but Vic assures me horse means wife over here, so it should be his “horse” “rolled” on him.

I'd do it again!

I'd do it again- Farmer

Now I find this a bit rich. We stole Ctowded House? Russell Crowe? What does this mean? Why would we want those turkeys? You couldn’t give Crowded House away if you left them in the glovebox of an unlocked car.  The Cartoon is a bit much too. True, but too much. You should see a bigger version if you click.


About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in *Worst of New Zealand and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to The Worst on Tour New Zealand. Pelvic Action

  1. Snuff says:

    A knighted feline stationmaster worked a treat, so why not Kiwi officers ?

    You probably wouldn’t get any objections [from Australia] to Rusty’s repatriation, but they can’t have Fred Dagg back.

    p.s. From my experience over 3 years in NZ, TLA, what Vic says is very true. I’ll discreetly refrain, however, from providing lurid details. What happens in the paddock, stays in the paddock.


  2. The paper this was in The Press, is a little like a watered down West Australian,which is bad, but without all the wannabee smartaresery, and total morons like Paul Murray, which is good.

    Also, NZ broadband seems faster than at home. that’s good.


  3. Cookster says:

    Bug chups on theer sholdiz bro… sheep rooters the lot of ’em!


  4. Snuff says:

    Today’s update on animal officials.

    The link to Fred Dagg @ 1 [if we still had numbers] seems buggy, so I’ll try again, TLA.


  5. Vic Demised says:

    Cookster -“sheep rooters the lot of ’em”. An unusually brave Kiwi at a mining camp gig once heckled me by pointing out that Australia was the nation that was spposed to be “riding on the sheep’s back”. To which the only possible retort was: NZ is always that little bit behind Australia, eh?

    LA -New Zealand broadband is only faster because only eleven people use it at a time.


  6. Gazza the gasman says:

    Yeah WayPol or NowayPol recruitin in Kiwi. Come over to West Aussie and we can stick in you in the stock squad or start the new witness protection scheme or be in the footie player squad or go find the missing Sicilians or the Water Police.
    Peaceful job with plenty of money and the weather’s a lot better.
    Anyways I got a kiwi plumber mate name a Kevin O’Carey.He got his boat for only a couple of mill from that joint near the airport.
    They go up to the Ling have a skinful with a couple of skimpies down to the boat, after the water police are asleep, They then cruise drunkenly up and down the Swan and showboating around the Causeway.
    Anyway the name of Kev’s boat is Marine O’Carey.
    And these are only some of the WA attractshins.


  7. Not much worst about today in South Island. Perfect day. In Hanmer Springs, which is sort of hot springs, mountains sort of place. I’ll do my best to find something worst.


  8. Snuff says:

    This looks like a good spot to start, TLA.


We can handle the worst

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