Creep Drink Man Woman

Two repulsively creepy ads. Would a mother name her son Eros? Can I suggest it will also be the last time he graces Members equity? And the woman with the too small body?

Call me Eros

Call me Eros

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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41 Responses to Creep Drink Man Woman

  1. skink says:

    look at the hands, look at the hands

    small body but big hands – have they stuck the woman’s head on a mannequin?

    or has Kenneth Williams dipped her in a vat of plastic and turned her into a mannequin from “Carry On Screaming”?

    frying tonight.

    and is Eros worried about armpit odour?


  2. He’s spraying love pheremones. She’s…a child with boozies… with big hands.


  3. Vic Demised says:

    Oddly, I thought that was a ‘v’ -as in ‘Evos’.

    ‘Would a mother name her son Eros?’

    -well, maybe, depending on the mother. Some mythologogues reckon his mum was Aphrodite, Lurv Goddess. Others say he was fathered by Poros and his Mum was Penia (ergo: by Plenty, out of Poverty -which sounds OK). These posters are in Italian cafes and pizza bars fucking everywhere.

    I think ‘Evos’ was a Mitsubishi model.


  4. Paracleet says:

    It does have that sort of look doesn’t it. A spraying motion. Sort of like the armpit equivelent of spiderman’s wrist web action. Doubtless Erosman sprays his villanous opponents with pheremones inducing sexual confusion. They are thus rendered helpless.


  5. From Wikip

    “His success greatly lies beneath his unique voice which could be described as somewhat nasal but yet a bit aggressive at the same time and he always delivers catchy, melodic tunes throughout the refrains of his songs that are passionate autobiographical ballads often rich in soft-rock influence.

    He also has the ability to spray female fans from a special gland under his arms, rendering them stupefied.”


  6. I’m a good friend of Eros, and he’s hung like a donkey may I add, but he’s a stroke victim and his right arm and his face are permanently like that – notice his big bottom lip. He only plays with one hand and it’s quite a show.

    As for the creepy woman – ya right Lazy Aussie. Something has gone terribly wrong there.


  7. Fuck he’s being presented by 6PR. Barra as MC or support?


  8. ozatheist says:

    odd name:
    E times the square root of o times s

    perhaps his folks were maths teachers?


  9. Del Quant says:

    I think the marketing team at ghd are to be applauded. It’s about time the media stopped pretending that plastic midgets with oversized human heads simply don’t exist.


  10. Em Barra’s eros moment ?


  11. Yes and that young lady has her corflute ZZotti carefully covered.


  12. Cookster says:

    Those fingers look like chicken sausages… And one boob only?

    I once new a barber from Croydon called Ivo – his shop was called Ivo’s Hair funnily enough.


  13. Snuff says:

    Pardon my ignorance, TLA, but I’d never heard of Eros Ramazzotti before today, and I still have no idea what a ghd is, despite their advertising effort, if that’s the word.

    Fortunately, Wikipedia has not only come to my rescue once more, it’s done so in a cape with its undies appropriately worn on the outside. Behold.

    “His mother has changed his original name into Eros (Greek Love God’s name) to be able to baptize him due to priests’ refusal to baptize those who would carry offensive names resembling suburb rascals.”

    Having solved that mystery, it then gets a whole lot better. You might want to sit down for this.

    “In his personal life Ramazzotti remains with only few good friends, mostly due to his suspicious personality.” Nothing to do with BO, clearly.

    Furthermore, if little has been lost in the translation from German, then this insight into your juxtaposition of his image with ghd’s is offered in this quote from his Stern interview.

    “As a child growing up, there were no books in my parents’ home, no suggestions were ever made how to even have a decent conversation, no guidance was provided in search of oneself. The only source of information that I would get from my father was the inappropriate photos of women.”

    Speaking of which, the ghd ad looks less like worst photoshopping, , than one of these. If so, then imho, it’s not so worst.


  14. Bento says:

    Was she the model for the western suburbs Sphinx?


  15. Snuff from his wiki page he should be singing the blues or out serial killing. (” My dada made me do it :oo oo the pain in my head”)


  16. Snuff says:

    Indeed Bill, and who’s to say he’s not. The real mystery here, of course, is how someone who’s been recording since 1982, is now appearing “Live in concert ~ for the first time”. That must be some serious BO.


  17. poor lisa says:

    Rich in soft rock influence HOLD ME BACK BOYS.

    That is a fabulous reference LA.

    “He’s published a 320-pages autobiographical book on April 13, 2006 written by Luca Bianchini”

    There was an article in the west about him a few weeks ago, which was the first I ever heard of him. the journo was pondering why his fame has not spread outside Italy because he’s so hot. She didn’t mention that he’s a mama’s boy with a “suspicious” (multiple?) personality, phobias, and tutored in self knowledge by inappropriate pictures of women. Perhaps including the corflute model above.


  18. poor lisa says:

    That model sat for Alsatian Rampant. Check the proportions.


  19. Snuff says:

    Perspicacious as always, poor lisa.


  20. Bento says:

    Poor lisa wins.


  21. Rolly says:

    The ever delightful Michelle Hunzinger finally had the good sense to give up on him after a short marriage.
    With her natural wit and intelligence, I suppose that getting involved with him in the first instance can only reasonably attributed to immature naivety, commercial opportunism, too much booze and smoked herring and/or any combination of the above.
    I can tell you, she looked real good draped “au naturel” across the rocks on the Emerald Coast of Sardinia in 2002.


  22. Paul Nurry says:

    It was a quiet week down at Allen Park. Eros (Call me Eros) Ramazzotti dropped by and came with me as I walked the dog down to the the wine dark ocean.

    Eros and I have the sort of relationship that doesn’t need words. At first blush his English is shithouse anyway, nasal but aggresive, and totally incomprehensible.

    We walked in silence. At the outset I showed him a picture of some tits I had found in the bins behind Swanbourne beach. Without a word he pulled out a copy of a column where I had reviewed Fellini’s La Strada, where I put the question, “What the fuck is a Strada?” I still don’t know. All I do know is that it was no Mamma Mia.

    Through a series of nasal whistles and and sprays from his underarm gland, Eros (Call me Eros) made it clear he was not happy with 6PR’s promotion of his concert, particularly the choice of Adrian Barich as MC.

    I explained with a mixture of bombast and ignorance that I no longer had any influence at the station.

    With an unusual fluency Eros said, “Barich. He fat Aussie Cunt.”


  23. Unusual. No forkboy. Eros would seem right up his alley.


  24. David Cohen says:

    All this chatter, and still no-one has been able to enlighten me on what the plastic woman is advertising. is pure the product, the manufacturer?

    I am in the dark – darker than Nurry’s wine dark ocean…


  25. I think it was a hair product.


  26. Bento says:

    GHD make hairdryers, straighteners, that sort of thing. The ad refers to a ‘ghd IV styler’, whatever that is. It is unclear whether the ‘IV’ refers to ‘four’ or ‘intravenous’.

    The latter may go some way to explaining the young lady’s deformed appearance, I guess.


  27. You got that from the Manilow concert?


  28. For tighter curls
    It’s a new religion for hair apparently.


  29. poor lisa says:

    I just keep going back to that wiki article. He ‘recalls having a limited source of information at home about everything’.
    Well that really covers it for poor Eros. Clearly he is no Ronn Moss.

    I’m with DFOC on GHD.
    Fossilised glossy body… curly hair…. agonised smile … shrunken buttocks…. I’m not really getting the message, even if it’s subliminal.
    Something like ‘you might’ve been captured by the fashion designer aliens and turned into a plastic shop dummy but you can still have a shiny head of styled curls’? If so, it hasn’t encouraged me to buy the limited edition IV.


  30. David Cohen says:

    cheers Bento, LA, poor lisa. I see it’s “a new religion for hair”. I wonder what the old one was?


  31. Bento says:

    I can’t help being reminded of this:


  32. skink says:

    after his column yesterday, I had expected somebody to start a riff on Nurry as chairman of the Boastmaster’s Club.

    members are obliged to show up with a copy of Nurry’s column protruding from their pocket, and Nurry has to speak for four minutes on any subject related to himself.


  33. Bento says:

    @30 DFOC – Hairy Krishna?

    Thank you very much. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.


  34. Snuff says:

    Congratulations on a job well done, poor lisa. It’s hard to know where to start with Ronn. The man’s a walking meme, so let’s just saddle up here …

    … backtrack to here …

    … and if you don’t already have elevator fantasies, you will after this …



  35. Scurrilous says:

    I think possibly the old religion for hair was not quite so satanic as ghd’s new one.

    More like a new fetish for hair.


  36. The old religion was rasta


  37. poor lisa says:

    Ooh snuff that got my weekend off to a good start!
    Ronn Moss is all man. He does not live with his mother. He appeared live in person for the first time in Australia (at the Burswood theatre!) long before Eros Ramazotti was finally allowed to have a passport. He does not have a ‘limited source of information about everything’. He doesn’t have to raise his arm to exude pheromones.


  38. Frank Calabrese says:

    Speaking of Eros, SBS has his Live In Rome Concert at 11am on Sunday Morning so you can see what’s like in action.


  39. Mr Cohen,
    I believe she is advertising herself. Her real name is Kikuyu and she is an orphon from the Eritrean war. Apparently she was adopted by Liz Taylor’s bodyguard and this photo is over 20 years old. Originally it was used to advertise the size of white peoples brains and why they were deemed best to run Africa. It backfired and now she’s a junkie is Amsterdaam and her enormous head houses several homeless people. Her fingers are artificail but are rumoured to hold the key to where the body of Jesus Christ may be buried.
    Of course this is all second hand infomation and I may well be wrong.


  40. Frank Calabrese says:

    If you reckon Eros is bad, this is the latest big hit on Italian TV, a precocious little brat called Ernestino who co -hosts a TV talent show featuring younggsters which is a cross between Idol and Young Talent Time.


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