Hogwash Reanimator

In answer to your email “Paul Nurry”, yes I did notice that Paul Murray had once again turned his hamfists to film reviewing on Saturday. I don’t understand why Murray insists on making a fool of himself on topics he obviously knows nothing about. In fact the only topic I have heard him speak on where he seems at all informed, was how bad the Sunday Times was in the 1980’s. Please note, if you are in a bar with him, don’t mention the words “80’s”, “Sunday”, “Times”, or even “The”, or you’ll be there all night.
For those poor souls who missed Murray’s breathless bilge on Saturday, he bangs on about how Hollywood has taken innocent entertainment (!) and desensitised our youth to violence. (Snore). You may remember him being offended by Gordon Ramsay a few weeks ago. Today’s edition of his own paper has a gruesome photograph of dead and injured bomb blast victimes featured. Earth to Paul… Despite reading Paul Murray for several years, I am still not desensitised to to poorly researched homespun bullshit, so I’m sure the youth will be OK.
Murray amazingly recounts shouting at Margaret Pomerantz on the screen! Insane bumbling at it’s best. His column also contains the immortal line, “I don’t care if I’m labelled old fashioned for these views.” What if you are labelled an ignorant plonker Paul? How would that be?
Reanimator of cliches and hogwash

Reviver of cliches, homespun bullshit and hogwash, Paul Murray, Reanimator.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst journalist, worst newspaper and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Hogwash Reanimator

  1. Téa says:

    lol, that rant actually made me wanted to see “Wanted”. So we watched it and it was shit… violence or not, he should be more outraged by crap movies with overuse of CGI than about the apparent “breakdown” of society.

    The irony of doomsdayers like Murray is that they are often the perpetrators of the downfall of society… well… at the very least he’s responsible for the state dropping 20 IQ points by reading its daily paper.

    Like

  2. skink says:

    I read that, and noted the following:

    1. padded out his column with direct quotes from other peoples’ columns/criticism

    2. hadn’t actually seen the movie he was commenting on

    3. I saw The Movie Show’s reviews, and they both thought the movie was inane drivel with cartoon violence aimed at fanboys. they even used the word ‘fanboys’, so even Stratton is more hip to the kids than Nurry.

    4. now have a mental picture of Nurry in his slippers shouting at David Stratton on the TV. He’s a real hate figure that Stratton, isn’t he? about as threatening as a fluffy rug.

    excellent photoshop work

    Like

  3. Paul Nurry says:

    Let me say at the outset that you show your ignorance so called Lazy Aussie. I am an expert on lazyness. First cut and paste 30% of your fucking column like I do arsehole, and then tell me that I Paul Nurry am not lazier then you.

    Come down to Allen Park and watch me walking my dog at the pace of a glacier, and then tell me that I Paul Nurry am not lazier. Fuck off Lazy Aussie. I Paul Nurry am the laziest cunt in christendom. I’m so lazy I’m going to write a column on how I was offended by my own obscenities, and cut and paste the whole fucking column – including this fucking line. And this fucker too.

    Again, you have no life skills. I am not a plonker sir, I am obviously a blowhard. At first blush, if you can’t tell the difference between a moron, a plonker and a blowhard, you cannot criticise I Paul Nurry. I am a blowhard sir. The blowhard has the aw shucks stupidity of a plonker, combined with the gas leaking capacity of the Hindenberg collapsing. A plonker might have no idea about the Singaporean legal system, but only a blowhard at first blush would dare write 3000 words about it to demonstrate his ignorance. A plonker might be caught speeding, but only a blowhard would dare write thousands of words of total bollocks on why I Paul Nurry shouldn’t be fined at first blush.

    A plonker might know nothing about films, but only a blowhard would prove it to everyone by writing about it.

    Good day sir. I SAID Good DAY sir!

    Like

  4. Maul Putty says:

    I would like to put to you a proposition , a perp-position , a syllogism or a silly-jism. Now I was just speaking to Jack Nicholson last week about the role of violence in movies and he said to me ” why don’t you just go and get Geoff”. Geoff had left the building so there was nothing I could do. Anyways I digress. Now here’s the thinking.
    On the one hand you have your average hapless youth. Anything you say to them they accept at face value. Tell em to jump in the Swan and they “when do want me to”.
    On the other you have the greedy , mindless Howllywood grinding out greedy , mindless pap designed to take over the aforementioned mindless youths.
    Add the two (1 + 1=2) and you have a potent mix , a powerful brew that will render this society asunder.
    Quod et demonstrandum , nil carborundum est , post hoc ergo propter hoc , this proof is established , I rest my case your honor, no further correspondence need be entered into.

    Like

  5. I notice he’s a football guru today as well. His message appears to be “Dockers were losers, McManus was crap, but I am an expert.”

    Like

  6. John Ryan says:

    I always thought that Beamont was on a par with Murray,they both think that people value their opinions,but then what can you say about a radio station that employs,2 idiots as a breakfast show,Simon (I,m all things at all men) Beaumont,Bob (Getting past it) Maumill and last but not least Howard (the sky is falling) Sattler,then as a piece de resistence we have,MaHatCoat and Bolt.
    I try to avoid it as much as I can

    Like

  7. How dare you Lazy Aussie. Fuck you. My wisdom on cinema is not to be questioned. You academics with your dreamy spire delusions are a pathetic disgrace. Of course violence in fillums leads to violence. The evidence: we didn’t have movies in the sixteenth century, and there were no Port Arthur-style massacres by long-haired louts with automatic weapons in those ancient times. Then along come the violent gory fillums and there are the massacres. I rest my point. You are deluded. And a disgrace. I see I already reported that but it is so self-evident it bears saying again. I am overdue to cut and paste something here now, but your insolence and ignorance has so enraged me, Paul Nurray Dada, I must continue pointing out your flaws. You have never made a film in your life. How can you know what fillums do? I had a stirring in the trousers when I was watching Reservoir Dogs, but I think that was due to the half a dozen choc bombs I has with me. Filth like this can’t be allowed to go unchecked. It will be the rack and ruin of our glorious Western society. We certainly don’t show fillums in the Weld Club. I wouldn’t allow fillums to be shown in Allen Park, not even during a quiet week. I was disturbed when someone told me they have shewn them in the past at the Art Gallery – but not thank God in the Art Gallery Café. That would be monstrous: how would my many fans have enough light to read my magnificent columns and recite the brilliant contents to each other? Get some life skills, Lazy Aussie – even you admit you are lazy. Not like me, energetic thrusting leadership ace reporter scoop stop the presses very important person Paul Nurray Dada.

    Like

  8. I don’t get the feeling that Big Kahunas Beaumont (Hi Simon) really thinks that he’s God’s gift to journalism the way Murray does. To me he sounds like deep down he kinda knows that he’s crap. The hilarious thing is that Murray (Hi Paul) actually does believe he is good.

    Like

  9. Dada Nurry, re: “You have never made a film in your life. How can you know what fillums do?”

    Have a look at the credits for Zombie Brigade, and Day of The Panther. I was in an academic ivory tower though.

    Like

  10. skink says:

    Nurry said in his weekend movie column that he had givenup watching the Dockers, but now he’s their chief critic.

    sounds like the behaviour of a typical West Australian “only sing when you’re winning” fair weather fan.

    “..at best, a tradesman…the king of the clangers…embraced mediocrity…all about endurance above achievement”

    was he talking about McManus or himself?

    Like

  11. Paul Nurry says:

    At first blush my own head is over two metres across, so the increased avatar size is methinks, let me say at the outset, inadequate.

    Like

  12. Frank Calabrese says:

    Oh Dear,

    The West has suffered a drop in circulation :-)

    [West Australian Newspapers has reported a 4-and-a-half per cent fall in circulation revenue for its flagship daily newspaper.

    The company’s annual results show circulation revenue for The West Australian fell to $74.2 million for the past financial year, down from $77.7 million the previous year.

    The company’s internal data also shows sales of the Monday to Friday and Saturday editions, were down for the past quarter.

    Despite that, the company’s full year net profit has doubled to almost $110 million, which it says is partly due to a buoyant state economy and the completion of its printing press upgrade.]

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/06/2326193.htm

    Like

  13. Frank Calabrese says:

    In Breaking Media News, Access 31 has suddenly ceased broadcasting despite a “Rescue Package” being agreed on.

    http://www.watoday.com.au/entertainment/access-31-has-closed-down-20080806-3r7i.html

    Like

  14. But the burnout demonstrations! This is Islam! All gone you say?

    Like

  15. And did you say it was breaking news from fairfax? i would have expected it about 3pm tomorrow.

    Like

  16. Frank Calabrese says:

    [But the burnout demonstrations! This is Islam! All gone you say?]

    Yep

    More info at TV Tonight.

    http://www.tvtonight.com.au/2008/08/access-31-off-air.html

    Like

  17. Bento says:

    Finally, my Love on the Box t-shirt will be worth something!

    Like

  18. Frank Calabrese says:

    [But the burnout demonstrations! This is Islam! All gone you say?]

    Yep,

    More info at TV Tonight.

    http://www.tvtonight.com.au/2008/08/access-31-off-air.html

    [And did you say it was breaking news from fairfax? i would have expected it about 3pm tomorrow.]

    TWAT to their credit have been the only media outlet locally to break this story, as well as a previous one on the resignation of CEO andrew Brine.

    Like

  19. Well kudos to them. I expect they heard my whingeing about news alerts arriving at 10am.
    Has he been sent to the briney deep?

    Like

  20. Frank Calabrese says:

    And this from the Wake Up WA website

    [n a decision that has shocked everyone here at Wake Up! WA, the Board of Access 31 have decided to shut the doors of Access 31 permanently spelling the end of Perth’s community TV station, leaving Wake Up! Wa without a television broadcast partner.

    At 4pm this afternoon Access 31 staff were informed of the Boards’ decision to close the station down from 5pm, leaving them little time to gather their things and to collect their thoughts about their futures. Remaining staff were clearly disappointed and dismayed at the decision, especially considering they were the remaining few that had decided to stick by the station insetad of jumping ship like so many others before them.

    Wake Up! WA’s Producers were informed by Access’ acting station manager Kirstin Reed at 5pm that they would not be allowed back into the building for even one more show. ]

    http://www.wakeupwa.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=164

    Like

  21. Frank Calabrese says:

    Hmm, This from The West, but nothing on Perth Now.

    [But producer and host of The Couch Fred Mafrica said he had received a call from the station’s operations manager Dallas Ford today saying that he had five days to “clear out all his stuff”.

    Mr Mafrica said that Lotterywest had withdrawn its $250,000 grant, which led to Mr Baverstock pulling out of his commitment.

    Mr Mafrica urged volunteers to come forward to help keep the station running, offering to oversee the channel while new funding could be sought. ]

    http://www.thewest.com.au/default.aspx?MenuID=77&ContentID=89589

    Like

  22. skink says:

    Nurry update.

    I got a rather thorough and lengthy reply from the Press Council in response to my complaint against Nurry’s Idi Amin column.

    the gist of it was that it is almost impossible to have a complaint upheld against an opinion piece, since it is accepted that they are the voice of an individual, and are often specifically designed to cause offence and inflame debate. They are not held to the same standards of objectiveness as regular journalism. That much we knew.

    They wanted more explanation of the grounds of complaint, and it would have to be on the basis of Item 7 – racist intent. They said that being shit, not funny, insulting, stupid, plagiarist, factually incorrect, or irrelevant are not grounds for complaint, otherwise the Council would need an army to keep up with Bolt and co. Even under Item 7 they did not see grounds for complaint – but surely there is precedent for the offence caused by people adopting blackface.

    any ideas?

    Like

  23. Just keep up with the photomontage Skink.

    Like

  24. skink says:

    indeed, Para

    I am working more on the “constant dripping wears away the stone” theory.

    and it is not working

    Like

  25. poor lisa says:

    So Mark ‘notworst’ Naglazzzzzz’s responds to Paul Murray today, saying Murray hasn’t seen the 2 films in question and would Murray critique a Rudd policy paper without first reading it?

    Um that’s a rhetorical question right?

    Like

  26. My Ning says:

    Dear P Nurry

    Let me just say it was me who came up with the terms Great White Hope and Great Pretender for Mal Turnbull in a column I wrote called “Turnbull is a hypocrite” a few years ago when the old silvertail first entered parliament.

    Being the state’s leading political writer, I was sent over to cover the event and noticed how he had a copy of a column I had just written (called “Rudd is a hypocrite”) hanging out of his trouser pocket. I was about to waddle up to him and ask him a question about it before I realised this might actually mean me having to write something down on the spot – something I hadn’t done since my cadet days with the Daily News when we used to write overlong features on ockey strap use by supermarkets (ah, those were the days when you could still hear ABBA on the radio).

    Anyway, while pondering this issue my mobile rang. It was my editor – firstly congratulating me on my morning’s column (“Gillard is a hypocrite”) before asking me if I could spit out a film review for the latest Harry Potter installment (rightfully, he pointed out, Naglazas has become too high brow – the hypocrite). “JK Rowling?” I bellowed down the phone: “She’s a hypocrite. So’s that fucking Harry Potter for that matter.”

    It was then I saw Peter Costello, who was still the treasurer, standing in the corner scribbling down some notes. My God, I thought, he’s was going to scoop me on my proposed feature which was to be called “Howard is a hypocrite” (I eventually called this one “John and Janette are hypocrites”, although it was kind of hard to find nasty quotes about Mrs Howard’s hypocritical nature on ABC TV and radio transcripts, which were so crucial for beefing up the word count on my think piece).

    Anyway, Costello wouldn’t want to talk to me after my 10,000 word “Costello is a hypocrite” expose I’d spewed out the month before, so I turned my attention back to Turnbull. By now, however, he had vanished, no doubt to show his new cabinet collegues my article, so I went to Hansard to get some quotes instead.

    On my way to the parliamentary library I recounted to myself a story told by another hypocrite, Paul Keating, who was rehashing an old tale about how Mal had wanted to join the Labor Party. That reminded me of a piece I did on Brendan Nelson, when I rightfully labelled him a hypocrite for joining the Libs after being a lefty head of the AMA.

    But the hypocrisy did not end there. Then there was Mal’s involvement with that hypocrite Peter Dowding and the whole WA Inc thing, which I still don’t fully understand as we at the Worst basically slept through it all while the Sunday Times got all the poop.

    But how did those Murdoch-loving hypocrites manage to get the lead on that one?

    I’ll let the ABC explain:

    “Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.”

    “Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”

    The hypocrites!

    Like

  27. Anyone hear Nurry getting a roasting on Media Watch? What a fucken knob head.

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Pandering to the Mike Ward demographic LA.

      Dear Mr Murray,

      Mr Shazza says I’m the best reverse parker he’s ever met. So get fucked you fat cunt.

      sincere regards, shazza

      Like

  28. poor lisa says:

    Ho ho! Looking for less cutting edge comedy than blackface – women drivers! brought to you by perth radio.

    Like

    • Did I dream it, or did Nurry ask if she used her driving mirror for putting on makeup? Maybe I dreamed that.

      Like

      • shazza says:

        I read the transcript – tis true TLA.

        Like

      • shazza says:

        What Nurry did was bad but….
        The award for most stomach churning TV moment belongs to the footage on Four Corners last night of Tom Cruise saluting David Miscavage. Whilst James Packer, as onlooker, applauded. I’m sure it was at this point James was thinking to himself, how the fuck did I get myself involved with this pack of insane wankers?

        Like

        • skink says:

          I saw it

          it was wince-inducing, toe curlingly bad.

          he did indeed ask whether she had difficulty parking, and needed to check her make-up because there was a camera in the car.

          they used the ABC photo with the big fat red shirt, but it was cropped so I couldn’t tell whether it was the TWOP shirt.

          Hopefully after that, and the Woodside story, the ABC will also say “fuck off, you fat cunt, now we remember why you couldn’t hold down a job in radio”

          Like

          • I at first blush was using genuine satire in that segment. Let me say at the outset I was subverting something. At first blush since I am against university education, I am not at first blush able to articulate what i was subverting, but suffice it to say my house has a kitchen designed by a woman. It has no roof.

            Like

      • Bill O'Slatter says:

        Classic Nurries. What I want is for some TWOP mole to tell us about Nurries role in goosing Trumble at the WA Liberal Party conference.

        Like

  29. G'day from WA says:

    Definitely not our Nikki in that photo above

    Like

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