Turf came through with a classic worst (in fact several, all of which will feature soon), from the Perth suburb of Success. When you live in a place called Success, why would you need to clear a broken toilet from the front lawn? Looks like it would be easier to read the paper on the bog. Come on people you’re not living in Yangebup, lift your standards.
 | Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… |
| Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… |
 | AHC McDonald on The Montegiallo School of… |
| Anonymous on The Montegiallo School of… |
| Anonymous on The Knock Shop of Broken … |
| Anonymous on The Knock Shop of Broken … |
 | The Definitive Ranki… on Kalamunda, Australia’s u… |
| AHC McDonald on The Montegiallo School of… |
| Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… |
| Anonymous on Mr Fist |
| Anonymous on The Montegiallo School of… |
 | Blood on Review: “The Montegiallo Schoo… |
| Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… |
| Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… |
| Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… |
The Asia Beat
The Worst of Perth 
What really horrifies me about houses like that is how utterly inappropriate for the australian climate they are.
Black roof, no eaves or verandah – how is this even legal?
LikeLike
They get the paper though. Could be worse.
LikeLike
I always thought this suburb should be pronounced Suck-cess.
perhaps the cesspit was sucking so hard it broke the crapper.
LikeLike
What do they need the paper delivered for? Their toliet is non-functional.
LikeLike
I think that toilet would be nice roof mounted.
LikeLike
Re: innappropriate design Peter. Have a look at this previously discussed here.
LikeLike
I’ve always had a major problem with rubbish bins being left right by the front door, as is this case. Imagine a nice warm 30+° day, you’ve got all the doors and windows open to catch the breeze. Then you catch a whiff of last week’s meatloaf that’s quietly decomposing in the bin. Yum.
LikeLike
it beats the meatloaf decomposing in the kitchen/lounge/bedroom because the bin is just too damn far away.
Clearly these people have determined what works for them! Next: wheelie bin in the lounge.
LikeLike
The winds *really* were strong there the other day, weren’t they.
I wonder where the rest of the dunny landed.
LikeLike
Don’t fucking start on wheelie bins. We had some bloke read the gas metre today and in the process moved the bin – full of heavy shit – out into the driveway so that Mrs Cookster could back into it on her way out.
She’s caught it on the side and now we have a large dent in the people mover.
Fucking gas man robs me via the metre and now he wants to fuck my car as well.
LikeLike
In terms of funtionality this is a revolution. I think we could all really learn something from this cutting edge design. NO more lingering smells or religious callers. Excellent. Why hide the shitter out back??….be proud of the poo. Lay pipe on the front lawn with the neighbours. Chat, have a laugh, create community. Today… Im proud to be an Aussie.
LikeLike
I know people….who know people Cookster (if you know what I mean)……best rates ……call me.
LikeLike
I am curious about the gravetone and the makings of the below ground pool…and who puts a tap in the middle of the lawn ? This is either trick photography or it is a back yard not a front yard otherwise the matching outdoor patio furniture would have been knocked off by now.
LikeLike
The paper wouldn’t be delivered to the back though.
LikeLike
Just checked. Turf says it’s front lawn. I cropped it a little too. It is a front lawn. I reckon it’s a failed fish pond with the tap next to it.
LikeLike
I hear the Success paperboy it quite a tosser.
LikeLike
LA – the whole suburb has failed. Rename it Failure. And when Condomeezer Rice is in Perth next week, let’s take her there as part of a TWOP tour. Lunch is at the Firecracker. BYO Coolabah.
LikeLike
At least I know where to plant that nuke Ive had stashed away for a rainy day.
LikeLike
LA – just got TWOP and The Perth Files a plug on Rusty Woolfe’s show regarding where they should take the Rice Woman. How about a toilet tour through Success…
LikeLike
In my childhood, every front garden had a tap whereby all us passing kids could get a cool drink, free, without any plastic containers. And no-one minded us coming onto the property to get it as long as we turned off the tap and didn’t stomp all over the garden. In this case , it might be an improvement.
LikeLike
Thats a FRONT lawn?
LikeLike
You have your toilets on the back lawn in melbourne? Oh la dee dah.
LikeLike
“Fucking gas man robs me via the metre and now he wants to fuck my car as well.”
Hey cooksta – I have it on good authority if the gas meter reader is f*cking your wife he leaves the bin in the driveway as a secret signal
LikeLike
FX, if you’re quoting someone who says fucking, you don’t need to use * for your own profanity. There is no language restrition on the worst of perth. I thought the bin was the postie’s signal, or am I thinking of a motorbike idling in the driveway?
LikeLike
#19. Cookster are you spamming 6WF? I think I’ve talked to Russell a couple of times. I recently sent a scathing email regarding their totally crappy and amateur online/blog presence, so maybe I’m not so popular at the moment.
LikeLike
I took that photo, it is definitely the front lawn.
It was on a fairly new and neat street, making it stand out all the more.
How does a loo end up left on the front lawn, or even the back lawn, I ask you.
LikeLike
TLA – sent him an email suggesting he check out our sites… not so much spamming as ‘jammin mon – respec’. He actually said TWOP was a ‘great site’.
As far as the good wife’s concerned, she is quite keen for the gas man’s genitalia to be removed by a pruning saw and fed to the local crow population.
LikeLike
I only had doubts about the “front/back” thing because a slightly used 3 piece (includes dunny) patio setting like that would have been long gone in any other neighbourhood. Plus I can see part of the the u bute vute parked in the drive.
LikeLike
TLA – I quoted profanity but politely refrained from using it myself to show my sofistykashon.
Cookster – Wife’s wishes noted – Jumpin Jack Flash hes a gas gas gas
LikeLike
Yeah , erm I feel a bit guilty about this one. I had a bit too much choof ( it’s a dull job but someone’s got to do it) b4 starting work and run off the road , skittled the paperboy and cleaned up one I’d installed .It’s all the rage around Success to have a front yard shitter. Incidentally Failure is the suburb next door AKA BeerLiar. Yeah and Cookster that’s what all the wives’d say , this lady was more than frendly.
LikeLike
haiku #6164:
Straining for success
In the out-house is risky:
The south wind is strong.
LikeLike
Full moon descending
An S bend moans in the wind
Paperboy screaming
LikeLike
Pingback: Flame On « The Worst of Perth
I am puzzled how Cooksters wife could hit a GIGANTIC wheelie bin in their driveway. Was she even looking as she came hurtling out of the garage? What if a kid (or the gas man) happened to be standing there instead? And if you don’t have a garage then why wasn’t it noticed in the journey from the front door to the car?
LikeLike
Plunger diving deep
Seeking rich reward
Blind mullet swimming free
LikeLike
Schlub, Schlub, Schlub… there are many elements involved here. Best you give me your home telephone number and I’ll have the wife call you to talk you through it. You’ll find she’s quite descriptive.
LikeLike
Cookster, are you making up your own haiku rules? Count those fucking syllables BEFORE you light up a herring.
LikeLike
Bah, go fire up a crab stick! Not only did I fail a Liz Jolley creative writing unit, I also decided to give poetry a big miss when it came to that syllable counting shite. I thought poetry was about drinking alot and not having to write too many words.
LikeLike
Cookster cannot count
haiku rules fly out window
Jolley fails to teach
LikeLike
polywaffle float
on a golden river home
the paperboy waits
LikeLike
Sublime Forker.
LikeLike
lol
LikeLike
There once was a man called Lazy
Whose brain was very hazy
He smoked a fish and cooked a joint
and listened to Hayzee Fantayzee
LikeLike
Hazy like a fox.
LikeLike
Pingback: There may be a flaming homosexual inside. « The Worst of Perth
Pingback: Cock Burn Split Sister « The Worst of Perth
Pingback: Brilliant, you’re here! | The Worst of Perth