Soft Red, Hard Cheese

Your Nutrition and Hydration on the Perth Gallery Scene.

I loved the outright insouciance of the catering at Friday night’s opening at Turner Galleries in Northbridge. Serving a clean-skin red at a commercial gallery opening was a nice, simple statement that the free piss wasn’t to be the servant of some corporate wine giant. Just send the admin assistant down to Dan Murphys and get a palette of something just the right side of vinegar, packaged in something just the right side of cardboard. And frankly the sneering, jaded, burnt out palates of artists, critics, and assorted parasites would barely notice the difference anyway would they? (Can a palate sneer? I think it can.) And, free piss is after all free piss.

And, delightfully, the Soft Red ($3.95 Dan Murphys) was actually fine. Quite drinkable! Well chosen Turners admin worker. Kudos.

As for the food, nothing hot of course. But you don’t see many mini quiche level gallery openings in Perth any more, but that’s fine. However it’s an open secret that I’ve never been a fan of water crackers at gallery openings. Turners have in the past been a bastion of Jatz (pepper), and I would advise a return to that staple. Water crackers, despite their strength for dipping, (I believe there was chick pea, or was it lentil?) just get stuck in your teeth too much. A highlight was a monster block of blue cheese that was almost big enough to be an installation in itself. Almost a shame to have cut into it. Christo would have been happy to wrap it.

All in all I gave it a solid 3.5 stars.

Turner Galleries 470 William Street Northbridge
Exhibition 25th October – 23rd November
Helen britton + David Bielander
The rage of dekoration + a room of lies
Erin coates + Anna Nazzari
fauna flesh flora
Since The Worst of Perth brand still remains so strong, over two years after its closure, I have decided to do a few specialised posts. I have been wanting to do some reviews of art exhibition catering for some time.

About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
This entry was posted in Art Galleries, free piss, Galleries, Perth Galleries, worst of perth and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Soft Red, Hard Cheese

  1. snuffparrot says:

    Welcome back. Blue cheese installation FTW.


  2. Senectus says:

    omg! you’re back!!

    about time… With spring/summer on our door step I was almost feeling chipper.


  3. edwarddebozo says:

    Oh those great days when we served something like chateau de SHAT with toast and vegemite.


  4. Bento says:

    Your photos need to be clickable to expand. Is that cream cheese and sweet chilli at the back???


  5. Crumbly old Ritz better than Jatz???? Are you high on Soft Red?


  6. Graham says:

    Was that wine and cheese part of a new direction in modern sculpture though? I mean, isn’t art something that provokes a reaction? “Soft and Red”, 2019 – Dan Murphys cleanskins, Woolworths Deli cheese, serving bowls from the office kitchen.


  7. JJ says:

    Appreciate the link but at $3.20 I will not be purchasing Jatz online.


  8. Christo was a fucking genius

    Liked by 1 person

  9. BSWAM says:

    Went through Lexington, NY, this weekend and thought of you. It looks exactly the same, minus the snow. For now.


    • BSWAM says:

      Actually, I spoke too soon – just revisited the original post and LOT of paint has fallen off those buildings in the interim…


We can handle the worst

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s