Long Night of The Soaks

Your Nutrition and Hydration on the Perth Gallery Scene brought to you by The Worst of Perth.

JCG
You have to hand it to John Curtin Gallery for exhibition openings. It’s one of the few top tier catered events left on the art free piss circuit. You can guarantee that the wine – and cocktail sushis, will flow like water. Although, if one has to criticise, the cracker under the rare roast beef (pictured), was way too hard for art spongers’ teeth, no doubt fatally weakened by all the acidic box Rieslings they’ve been swilling  at openings all year. But a minor point.

In some ways – and I know that this will be treason talk, there is almost too much free piss at John Curtin Gallery openings. I know, I know, calm down. The way that they structure their openings, is that you turn up at the advertised time (to intercept the first tray of mini quiches as it comes out), but they don’t allow you to view the exhibition until the speeches are done. And for this, the speeches didn’t start for THE BEST PART OF A FUCKING HOUR! So there is literally nothing to do for an hour apart from get pie eyed with a lot of other cultured soaks. Either start the speeches ten minutes after the event opens, or allow people to at least view the exhibitions before the speeches. It doesn’t make any sense!

And what exactly is the raison d’être for bottomless free piss at a non commercial gallery? The reason usually, is to get patrons drunk enough to unchain their wallets and buy an artwork. If there’s nothing for sale, then you don’t have to pour wine down their throats for an hour beforehand. It’s a miracle fist fights didn’t break out.

So, the actual nutrition on offer, 4 stars. The opening as a whole event, 1.5.

John Curtin Gallery, Curtin University Western Australia
Brian Robinson: Tithuyil (moving with the rhythm of the stars) until 8th December 2019

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in Art Galleries, free piss, Galleries, Perth Galleries, worst of perth and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Long Night of The Soaks

  1. Senectus says:

    Could have been worse, might have been vegan…

    Like

  2. Bruce says:

    Lol good ole art school days.

    I note that Rodney Glick’s Cockburn Shop-top mergedlocalfaces faces installation (with the north-facing face being more cooked than a former football captain) is to be replaced / Govt is seeking EOI on new art for the space.

    Hopefully there will be Cockburn regional wine at the unveiling of the new artwork!

    Like

  3. Je Suis Alby Mangels says:

    Was it the “art free-piss circuit” or “art-free piss circuit”. I’m guessing the former, the latter could be a Mandurah pub crawl.

    Like

  4. Orbea says:

    It doesn’t make sence

    Like

  5. BSWAM says:

    Ah yes, that noisette of roast beef on a slightly too-dry cracker, the long-term staple of the Fanny Cradock-era aspirational cocktail party. Long have I known its slightly dried-out delights. But if you don’t have choke cherry manchego gougeres I am afraid you are simply spinning your wheels.

    Liked by 1 person

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