Your Nutrition and Hydration on the Perth Gallery Scene brought to you by The Worst of Perth.
You have to hand it to John Curtin Gallery for exhibition openings. It’s one of the few top tier catered events left on the art free piss circuit. You can guarantee that the wine – and cocktail sushis, will flow like water. Although, if one has to criticise, the cracker under the rare roast beef (pictured), was way too hard for art spongers’ teeth, no doubt fatally weakened by all the acidic box Rieslings they’ve been swilling at openings all year. But a minor point.
In some ways – and I know that this will be treason talk, there is almost too much free piss at John Curtin Gallery openings. I know, I know, calm down. The way that they structure their openings, is that you turn up at the advertised time (to intercept the first tray of mini quiches as it comes out), but they don’t allow you to view the exhibition until the speeches are done. And for this, the speeches didn’t start for THE BEST PART OF A FUCKING HOUR! So there is literally nothing to do for an hour apart from get pie eyed with a lot of other cultured soaks. Either start the speeches ten minutes after the event opens, or allow people to at least view the exhibitions before the speeches. It doesn’t make any sense!
And what exactly is the raison d’être for bottomless free piss at a non commercial gallery? The reason usually, is to get patrons drunk enough to unchain their wallets and buy an artwork. If there’s nothing for sale, then you don’t have to pour wine down their throats for an hour beforehand. It’s a miracle fist fights didn’t break out.
So, the actual nutrition on offer, 4 stars. The opening as a whole event, 1.5.