West Sackings

Was going to run a full post on the impending West sackings, but I’m losing enthusiasm already. Who cares? ALL of their opinion writers are terrible. MyNing wants Paul Murray,Griffin Longley, Roz Thomas, Andrea Burns, Kate Emery sacked, and yes, they are all awful, but then you’d have to go past Stephen Scourfield and Malcolm Quekett who manages aginst all odds to to make Inside cover as interesting as Mark McGowan. Just get rid of all of them. Except, they will probably keep the opinion writers and sack the actual journos.

The only guy they should keep is that Reuter dude. He just does straight news with the sparsest copy, is always on the spot and is not always going on about how he is being discriminated against because he doesn’t want to have children. Give Reuter Inside Cover as well(Greenwood: Ironic sign seen. Reuters.)  and since he’s in a different country every day, he might as well take over Scourfield’s travel section…but…no.

…I’m going to put my time instead imagining a mashup of In Cold Blood with First Blood, (First Cold Blood) in which Sylvester Stallone tries in vain to rescue the Clutters (played by Dawn French) and mumbles in a Capote style high voice when he is on death row falsely accused of their murders.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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88 Responses to West Sackings

  1. Bento says:

    I would totally read a Reuters IC.

    Buswell involved in minor local issue. Something about chairs. Reuters.


  2. First Cold Blood – Vin Diesel IS Ving Rhames


  3. What happened to that Mark McGowan dude btw?


  4. skink says:

    the ABC report that staff have two weeks to volunteer for redundancy before they force them.

    They got a killer quote from former editor Paul Armstrong, a man who knows a bit about being escorted to the door:

    “The bottom line is that newspapers don’t make as much as money as they used to, and when companies don’t make as much money as they used to they have to reduce their costs,” he said.
    “And, by all accounts that’s what they’ve done today.”

    it’s that sort of insightful journalism that is sorely lacking from The West these days, and probably explains why they are going downhill.


  5. vegan says:

    photographers and clerical staff are also being targetted. perhaps it’s amusing to you, but when it’s your livelihood then perhaps it’s not so funny.


    • true. but that’s what I’m assuming. That they’ll get rid of the good ones. It’s sad more than funny.


    • Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

      When you produce a third rate newspaper week in week out and expect people to pay for it that’s not funny either. Teh Worst journalists do allow the ads to be set out more legibly.


      • It is really sad that the paper has declined in quality so sharply from an already low base even in the few years twop has been running. Also how people don’t even care that it’s bad anymore. That is the main point. Nobody is passionate about the problems with the paper. It’s not something that’s worth fighting for anymore.


        • And remember the furore about sacking Armstrong as the editor a few years ago? Who would care now? Wouldn’t make a ripple. These days there would be no similar public call for the editor to go. Nobody cares.


          • skink says:

            maybe you forget how bad things were under Armstrong:
            six separate reprimands from the Press Council for incorrect and misleading stories
            incorrectly calling the 2008 state election
            falsely announcing the discovery of HMS Sydney
            Stokes saying that the editor was ‘in conflict with everybody’, including most of his own journos.
            all-out war between the government with Carps and McGinty wanting Armstrong’s head on a stick

            currently the paper is just passively lame, but under Armstrong is was aggressively shite.


            • But all those things would be ho hum now, apart from Murray finding that rowboat and calling it the Sydney. As all those press council rulings were even then. Would anyone care if the editor was in conflict with his journalists now? What would there to be in conflict about? That they didn’t write enough paragraphs about The Block and Masterchef? The paper is not an important member of society now. That wouldn’t change if it became aggressively shite again.


              • skink says:

                They are sure to be more strident as the Federal Election gets closer and Stokes wants to make sure he gets the right puppets in power.

                is it anything to do with the paper, or just the general ennui and disengagement of the people, who have switched off from the lamestream media and current affairs in general?

                Perhaps the election should be run as a special episode of Masterchuff. That might re-engage the public. Did you see how interested everyone was in food-based political metaphors yesterday?


                • Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

                  Err … would that be the same Kerry Stokes who employs Mark “How can we help you Prime Minister” Riley at Channel 7 of the famous “shit happens” Abbott stitch-up that blew up in his face? Leave this stuff to real experts Murdoch, the Jews and keep folding the tin foil for the hats.


              • rottobloggo says:

                Actually, it was a prawn trawler.


          • skink says:

            …and it’s difficult to feel sorry about 100 people at the West when the Government is going to sack 1200, and there are thousands getting the chop in mining.

            and of course this will be small beer compared to the massive public-sector layoffs that will happen when there is a change of Federal government and they use ‘austerity’ as a smokescreen for an all-out cultural war.


    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      Lateral thinking Vegan : government subsidies to keep it going.Yeah ! See Barney for a slice of his Gonskis.
      It’s more like the following , and allow me the indulgence of metaphors. The West is a behemoth beset by an army of Internet pygmy hominids (“hobbits”) armed with spears and very ugly biological weapons. The behemoth is wobbling, its on its last legs ,its knees are buckling , its ready to go down.Its gut ( the advertising section) is severely infected.All its parasitic organisms are abandoning ship.


      • orbea says:

        how does the west make money? not the cover price, advertising is leaving, six days of footy and a blokesworld insert


  6. Snuff says:

    The problem we all face, as Shirky wrote here about 4 years ago, is that “Society doesn’t need newspapers. What we need is journalism.”


  7. Arcadia says:

    Brother lives in Wembley and the local paper he gets is good. 60% ads for mansions of course. But also good humoured tales about Norf’k Pines under threat, rows over paid parking, etc. Maybe that’s the future of papers. I’d buy it.

    The answer for the West is maybe to strip out all the shite and leave it is as a purely business and sport paper. A Fin Review with sport.?


  8. My Ning says:

    Dear P Nurry

    It is undeniable that a lot of redundant or irrelevent material lurks in the opinion pieces of this newspaper.

    This stuff should have remained essentially private – or to be shared amongst a circle, trusted or otherwise.

    This doesn’t make it less meaningless. It just reflects on those who trade in it.

    From the unwarrented amount of copy I spit out on a daily basis, it’s also evident that there is a less than discreet trade in this stuff to an audience that has the expectation of higher standards – particularly when they have no choice but to read the musings of a bunch of hacks writing for the state’s only paper in a one horse cowboy town.

    You don’t see this stuff in other parts of the mainstream media because they have a level of sophistication whereby they don’t allow this kind of tripe to leave the newsroom.

    I’ve recently been in an email war with someone who thinks my cut and paste stuff is redundant crap.

    I’m pursuing my own inquries about his actions – in the meantime, I have written back to the prick saying he has no life skills. This is the standard line I use for anyone who questions me.

    Logic and reason don’t work well in such inflamed issues – a point I have proven again and again.

    For instance, I might call the ribald mockery of politicians grubby, but that didn’t stop me from farting out copy that some might call racist when I made Condelina Rice sound like Idi Amin after she came to Perth and didn’t agree to be interviewed by this dismal rag.

    They are both, after all, black. Hell, I bet they have (or in Amin’s case, had) a penchant for fried chicken and basketball.

    Unfortunately, grubby stuff now exists everywhere in the digital world about every politician of note. And note how I use the term “digital world” – some might say I am becoming defensive against the electronic media beacuse it is quickly making The Worst redundant. Me – I hate digital because no one wants to be my Facebook friend.

    But back to the topic – Julia Gillard.

    When she is finally forced to face her entrenched unpopularity, the gender war she has foisted on Australia will come to its dismal climax. After that, it will have no purpose.

    How do I know this? Well, despite being unpopular and ugly to boot, the fucks I’ve had with feminists have pretty much ended in dissmals climaxes after I’ve come (their dismal climaxes I might add – but should I be blamed?). Most time this has resulted in a mini gender war in the breakfast nook.

    Which gets me to the infamous menu.

    The other day, while I was wandering around Allen Park, I noticed the nearby deli was advertising Muzza hot dogs. The sign said: “Small, BO-tasting sausages in a bread roll that would be perfect for shoving up your arse.”

    It went on: “With or without sauerkraut.”

    Was that a joke?, I asked myself. Am I being compared with an unhappy German? And why would he/she be unhappy? Are they bipolar?

    The boot is on their foot now.

    There is simply no available evidence …. that my sausage is small; nor is there any suggestion that the BO smell isn’t, in fact, garlic.

    I, like all of you who waste coins reading this crap, demand an apology.

    Thus comes the end of editorial blandless.


  9. Arcadia says:

    I will miss reading the letters to the editor. Nothing makes me feel more sophisticated. My all-time favourite was forcefully against the daylight saving referendum – ‘Iraq and Afghanistan have daylight saving — and look at them!! — A. Jenkins, Joondalup.


  10. My Ning says:

    Dear P Nurry

    If Kevin Rudd puts off the Federal election for as long as the law allows, he will be able to act as Prime Minister without any parliamentary accountability for the longest period in Australian history.

    That is effectively the creation of a dictatorship.

    Whenever we think of dictators, a few choice names came to mind – Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, Tito, Franco, Idi Amin …. the list goes on. Well, dear readers, Rudd is as bad as all of them.


    Admittedly, he hasn’t rounded up anyone and put them in a gulag yet; nor has he let millions starve for the hell of it. And he hasn’t declared war on New Zealand; nor has he expanded the powers of ASIO to any great degree.

    No, he’s a dictator because he’s smarmy and shallow … or, as I rightly point out in this and other columns, he’s the king of spin. And, in my book, spin doctor is synonymous with dictator.

    Personally I find dictatorships abhorrent, so much so that I also find the political antithesis to dictatorships – hung parliaments – also abhorrent. Indeed, I find any word abhorrent that appears in the same sentence as the word dictator – hence I find many words abhorrent.

    But back to the issue at hand; is this (a hung parliament) really what the Australian public wanted when it embraced the so-called new political paradigm back in 2010? I doubt it, and I’m always right, so therefore that statement must also be right.

    Part of the problem here has been the Canberra press gallery. What a bunch of lily-livered, gullible, brown nosing pricks. I should know – I’ve spent a good portion of my career bagging those bastards, especially the hacks from the Murdoch press.

    This, however, has not stopped me from emulating Graham Richardson, another opinionated fat ugly bastard with glasses who, as I observed so succinctly in my June 22 column, had “saliently noted on his Sky News program … (that) the inability to ditch (former labor PM) Ms Gillard is the first time he has ever seen politicians not driven by self-interest.” What was interesting about the Richo op-ed was the fact he was heavily quoting a column he had written in The Australian on May 31, in which he ruminated on the Labor Party’s passing through its five stages of grief a la Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ psychological template as outlined in her book On Death and Dying.

    What brilliance from this self-confessed liar; to use the same copy in two separate mediums and get paid for it – twice!

    Oddly enough, I was doing much the same thing around the same time when I rehashed an interview with WA Health Minister Kim Hames that I conducted for Radio Dead Air in a column which appeared in this rag on May 29. Obviously all fat, ugly pricks with glasses think alike.

    Once I broke through this barrier, there was no stopping me. Unfortunately, it led me to the sixth stage of grief, namely mindless repetition.

    Ok, let’s start with my hatred for the luvvies at the ABC.

    No commercial media outfit could afford the gold plating lavished on the national broadcaster. Oh fuck, I already wrote this back on June 12.

    What about some good old fashioned Rudd-Gillard bashing?

    Julia Gillard is the captive of the unions and Kevin Rudd is their enemy. Nope – already said that too on June 22.

    I know, why not finish on the dictator thing?

    The longer Mr Rudd goes without saying when he will hold the election, the more of a dictator he looks. Dammit – I said this on July 13.

    Hell, for once I’m at a loss. But it is during these dark moments that I think back to the obit for my dead dog on May 1.

    “One of the reasons I gradually came to accept gay marriage is because I realised it entailed making judgments about the quality of other people’s love. I eventually concluded that wasn’t right.”

    I’m probably misinterpreting or misquoting myself here, and it’s easy to do in all this semantic confusion that passes for an op-ed, but I expect Mr Spin will make the same backflip if he wins another term.

    (PS: Happy 50th Mr LA – ed.)


  11. scanners says:

    Paul Murray today: “And so the council chooks have come home to roost. As is often the way with chicken pens, there’s a lot of poo involved. Most of it is going to get splattered on Mr Barnett.”
    Who say he’s folksy?


  12. RubyRuby says:

    Teh West’s irrelevance is further highlighted by the fact that it’s taken me so long to mention this…

    How long would David Zampatti last anywhere else?

    (irrelevance compounded by the fact that no one will give enough of a shit to even have a word to him, or even – here on TWOP – about him…) (damn. I’ve broken the run of ignoring the mediocrity who is determined to keep Perth’s art and cultural scene down at his pathetic level)


    • I’m not sure of your point. Was he good or bad?


    • rottobloggo says:

      Is there a review of David’s in particular which has upset you?


      • RubyRuby says:

        No, nothing in particular. I don’t read them very often, as it would involve finding a copy of Teh Worst or trying to remember where he keeps his blog.

        I remember being quite underwhelmed when I first came to Perth and read some write ups of his, and thought I’d wait for the regular writer to return from break and let this pompous would-be critic, whose breadth of ego is only eclipsed by his lack of insight into the artistic merits or otherwise of shows he attends, return to the vast wastes of the blogosphere where his output has a natural home… but… it never happened.

        Now that festival madness has died down a little, I thought I’d call Perth on this dereliction of even giving a toss on the culture vulture front. It’s not that I even consistently disagree with the man, either, it’s just that he does such a piss poor job that even Rob Broadfield’s restaurant efforts seem relatively classy.


    • skink says:

      I’m more curious why it has taken The West two weeks to break the Buswell story. The front page claims that the witness only contacted them this weekend, but that sounds wrong. Barnett’s pre-emptive aggression about respecting Buswell’s privacy suggests that the story was already known to the media. Maybe it took The West two weeks to persuade the witness to go on the record, but the fact that they published on the day that Barnett is due to make a statement suggests there was some discussion between The West and Barnett about the timing.


  13. skink says:

    isn’t Abbott in Perth today? that should make Barnett’s day even more excruciating with the Senate election looming.

    I see that Abbott has been loudly praised by US presidential candidate and bigot Rick Santorum, the man who is his own neologism.


  14. skink says:

    Buswell has resigned from cabinet, but not from Parliament.
    didn’t he do that once before?
    He’s claiming he’s had a ‘mental breakdown’. At a wedding.
    what happened to the ‘final warning’, Colin?


  15. Bento says:

    I think you guys are being unfair. Everyone deserves a second chance.


  16. Rolly says:


    Picture of Airbus ???????

    They must be so-o-o-o grateful for their monopoly position.


  17. Frank Calabrese says:

    As for Mr Plod not knocking on Troy’s Door and asking for his details and a breath test- will Alf Fordham dish out the same tratment as he did to their colleagues who worked at the Communication’s Centre and captured on Stressbusters ? http://www.abc.net.au/tv/stressbuster/episodes/ep4.html


  18. skink says:

    Tom Percy made a good point: In 2012 this government introduced the harshest drink-driving penalties in the country, but these were insufficient deterrent to stop the Transport Minister from getting in his car.


  19. skink says:

    and in other news: Millsy and Baz’s breakfast show on 6PR records the biggest ratings drop in the new survey, from 19,000 to 15,000. 6PR losing listeners fast, especially the over-65s, where they have lost HALF their audience, who are moving to the ABC, so that McGlue has actually increased his ratings.


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