Metropiss. State Election Preview

With only a few days to go to the election,  (sad coverage of the last one here.) will the twin planks of Metronet and Metropiss get the slightly damp teatowel (SDTT) that is Labor’s Mark McGowan over the line? Or will Colin’s mega jowls manage to cover the rolling scandal that is Troy Buswell well enough? Probably the latter. Labor is still suffering from the damage done by the moronic Alan Caprenter. Yes Carps, it is all your fault we have had Colin for all this time. Regarding Metronet. I notice Mark (SDTT) hasn’t taken up the point of difference suggested by this website of closing stations, particularly Mt Lawley. He’s proposing new ones, including a high speed service to Sugar Candy Mountain and Mordor. What are the public art implications SDTT?

And Metropiss. Are we not at saturation point with small bars? Do they really need more help?metropiss

About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
This entry was posted in worst politician, worst public art and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Metropiss. State Election Preview

  1. Snuff says:

    Northbridge is popular in Sydney, apparently.


  2. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    One week to go and Sneakers reaches for the panic button, “A vote for Emperor Barnett is a vote for a dry humping Chair Sniffer. And trains. Did I mention the trains? More trains.”

    Stay tuned for further details.


  3. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Vasselenes you know the drill. You’ll be casually walking through the mall there somewhere in the electorate of Vasse and there he’ll be: a big, affable bloke sitting amongst the corflute , bunting and Liberal party bumpf.
    He’ll say “How you doin , buddy ,you love me long time?”
    You’ll say “Long time between elections, Troy . In any case everybody here , all the Vasselenes,vote for you”
    He’ll say “Look at all the planning I’ve been doin for ya ,take that taxi . booking fee , the bridge across the river , the costing of the railways ,car parks at train stations or the Northbridge safety tunnel. Dampie Tea Towel’s got none of that”.
    You’ll say “That’s all city slicker stuff Troy we want more royalties for regions”
    He’ll say “Yeah you’re right , just wait till I ascend the throne. City slickers are cry babies, but say you go to the city to catch a plane. You know if you take Dampie’s train you’ll have to hop on a bus. I know about buses let me tell you. I started Bussie’s Busso Buses,and then while working in the city ,established the Marxist wind of the Liberal party and kept my triple B rating with Bussie’s Burning Buses. So taking buses is scary and dangerous especially when you have a head like a chichen and legs to match. You may get eaten”
    You’ll say “Thanks Troy for that information”
    He’ll say “Yeah and nobody can run a sesqui quintillion economy as good as I. Mmm , I like the cut of your jib and the trim of your mainsail. How about you come around my place , have a few exports , some seafood ,and see my videos of Heather Ridout and Glenn Stevens. Any way they look like them and then get down to business with bags over their heads. Do you like Ta ta sauce with your seafood ? Bring your missus and Ting tong from Swingers’ will be there. “
    You’ll say “Yeah sure Troy.”


    • I asked Lisa Baker my local member no less for a a metronet tshirt but no answer. wtf?


      • Bill O'Slatter says:

        The problem of Australian cities is their extraordinary low density, not public transport.


        • rottobloggo says:

          Don’t call me dense, mate.


        • Rolly says:

          You reckon that Metrocentric Twats (copyright Rolly ;) ) are not dense ??

          There’s nothing intelligent about living cheek-by-jowl with other thick suburbanites: Pose value, agoraphobia, independence deficiency syndrome and pseudo-intellectual stimulation notwithstanding.

          Breeding ourselves out of existence is stupid, so keeping most of the masses corralled within delineated boundaries is a good way to go.


      • orbea says:

        I boughted a Metronet t-shirt. Printed in Indiana, sent to Kentucky, then to Anchorage Alaska, then Hong Kong, Singahole and Teh Perth. I now have to walk (not drive) for three years to replace the carbon miles I just incurred


  4. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Sneakers goes back to the panic button.

    “Teh Emperor is Dying.”


  5. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Election Scandal – Liberal holidays in corrugated iron shed.

    Corrective Services Minister Murray Cowper said, “Well yes, this is obviously embarrassing. Nearly as much as the time I had to drive myself to the Leeuwin Concert in 2004.” Sneaker’s attack schnauzer, Ben Wyatt, in a typically measured response said, “Well obviously this is not a hanging offence. We demand castration and shooting.”


  6. RubyRuby says:

    Gearing up for the cake sales and sausage sizzles at the primary schools tomorrow.

    Remember, people, vote early, vote often!

    (for… another politician… mm… at least there’s a sausage sizzle on offer)


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