This perhaps goes a little beyond passive agressive and strays into the grey area of criminal menaces and dog murdering. But I guess that’s West Leederville for you. I only wish it could have been Allen Park. 8 count ’em 8 baits, each more fiendish than the last. The first creates in your shitting dog a sense of ennui and its spine will crack under the spasms of nostalgia mixed with a little sadness. The second is a powerful canine laxative…perhaps I should have thought that one through a little better – the third pure curare. No-one will ever know the cause – apart from the sign I have written explaining that I am poisoning dogs. The fourth…
Auteured – the submission not the sign, by Councillor Matt Buckels, who, if I am any judge will be Mayor and then opposition leader within 5 years.
I’m assuming that this knobhead will be tracked down by the police within about ten minutes.
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West Leederville – the lights from Scoobiaco Oval upset the circadian rythyms
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I’m not sure I believe him when he expresses concern for small dogs.
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First they came for the dogs…
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If only they came for the turds first.
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Sounds a bit like Chopper Reid syndrome, poison the dogs then say ooohhh sorry maaaaate – have a smacko.
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why didn’t we think of this earlier?
I’m off to put poisoned meat pies on all the benches in Allen Park
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That should stop Nurry shitting in our ears and eyes
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I spent a couple of weekends back in the company (not intimately) of Nurry, at the annual Peel Estate Shiraz tasting. That is all.
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Did he tell you you were in cloud cuckoo land being from Freo?
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I knew better than to mention it.
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I’m sure I’d get the same double take from Nurry as I got from Alannah MacTiernan at the Synagogue and Tim Winton at the State theatre. The look that says “I know that cunt from somewhere. Or do I?”
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Didn’t Alannah remember you from the time you interviewed her?
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TWOP: Now Alannah, you’ve promised recycling “from arsehole to breakfast” in Vincent if you are elected. What exactly does that mean?
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At first blush obviously, but at second blush?
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This child should NOT be allowed to run around a park, unleashed, seeking dollops of dog dung for her fetish.
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Oh what a fucking freak. The reasonable tone is v alarming.
I hope the cops find all the people he’s abducted in the cages under his house.
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I like the optimism of the note. Not only is everyone is going to read the note, they will undoubtedly follow the instructions and fall into line – not call the police and not try and find and remove all of the baits.
Can you imagine Al Qaeda types made threats by posting long winded letters on A4 paper and assuming everyone will read them.
Dear Imperialist Western Dogs,
We have buried several explosive devices around your city. Unless the hostages are released by midnight tonight and you announce a withdrawal of troops from out country, we will detonate these bombs, killing thousands.
We don’t really want to hurt people, we love people, but you know, you can’t go running about our country with your tanks and things, my daughter gets quite scared. The only course of action left is to start blowing things up.
We only hope you read this note in time, we did sticky tape it to the biggest light pole in town after all. The bold font is sure to catch your eye.
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Agreed. Putting a couple of dog be-headings up on You tube would be much more effective.
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Why havent the UN tried this approach in Syria?
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The good people of West Leederville will probably petition to have Cowden Park renamed after this anonymous hero in a few years. “All hail the saviour who rid our park of turds”
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Turd Guy Park. Has a nice ring to it.
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Bound to become a ‘beat’, if not already.
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Are you saying there’s a niche for rooters of baited dog carcasses in parks? This sick city. Uggh.
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This sick world you mean?
http://www.watoday.com.au/world/gay-us-footballer-says-kiss-got-him-booted-from-team-20120912-25rhj.html
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I immediately assumed this was from Vegas. I like how the coach accused him of being a lying Kuntz.
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Seriously, if people are going around having sex with the carcasses of poisoned dogs in parks, then the dog rooters have won.
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Anonymous Park
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No turds but you can’t walk three steps without putting your foot in a dog carcass.
Who will poison the poisoners?
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Cry “Havoc!” and let slip the dogs of war. What? They’ve been poisoned? Oh never mind then….
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I would like to see how he would handle it if someone who had a disgust for the noise children make decided to cut off all of their tongues unless he kept his kid wuiet. What a terrible example of humankind this person is. Yes we would all like to make people clean up after themselves, dog waste and human waste but we cant mess with people lives like that and destroy families. What if one day his daughter had a dog and someone poisoned it, how would he feel seeing his ‘precious’ daughter in distress like the people who may lose their dog? There are better ways to handle issues like this and poison is not one of them! What an Arse!
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“I would like to see how he would handle it if someone who had a disgust for the noise children make decided to cut off all of their tongues unless he kept his kid wuiet.”
One can only assume he’d think it was an entirely reasonable request and ask his kid to be quiet.
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No dog belonging to a “Responsible dog owner” could possibly pick up such baits, now, could it?
If it could, then the owner is not really a responsible one is she/he/it?
After all, the dogs of responsible owners are always well behaved and under their owners’ total control at all times, aren’t they?
Perhaps we should licence owners, not their dogs, with fines and demerit points for every transgression committed by the beast.
12 demerit points and the right to own a dog is annulled.
Transgressions whilst the licence is rescinded are met by destruction of the owner.
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Under Scarborough rules right? You’ll be wanting light rail to bring Glendalough residents to Perth’s worst beach next.
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Don’t be so cynical. That light rail link would be very handy for people going to Osborne Park to purchase whitegoods and outdoor furniture, also.
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I think you have missed the point. The issue was that SOME dog owners dont pick up after their dog. I do pick up after my dog and yes he is allowed to run free and have a play but I do call him back and he comes back. Where there is a nice yummy dog treat as a dstraction it might be different. Dogs are allowed to play too but owners should be picking up the poo. So I AM a responsible dog owner. You also need to consider that sometimes owners might be still in the process of training their dog to come back. We all need a little patience and the ability to be considerate.
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FENTON !
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They could always give Tony a call. Or enlist the poo fairy to roll them in glitter.
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I WILL GLITTERISE THEM.
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why does the word vajazzle spring to mind?
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Dog forum types not impressed.
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Any word from Perth’s dogging community?
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Because it’s not near a boat ramp…well not their problem really. I do like the suggestion that someone might be hiding baits for doggers though.
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What sort of bait would lure a dogger? A rocking transit van with the back doors open?
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The play pit should have sand collected from next to a boat ramp.
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Heh.
Aside from being a lowlife petty psychopath the guy just hasn’t thought this one through. Ratsak wrapped in dogbiscuits makes a park safer for kids…how?! Has he *seen* the crap his little darling probably puts in her mouth?
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you mean dog crap? all the best toddlers eat it.
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Throw a snail on top and you could charge $45 a serve.
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only in maylands.
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It is becoming a scary neighbourhood, with a lot of adult bullying going on and not much cohesion.
There was even two mums bullying another just yesterday at the school sports carnival.
Astonishing.
A mass of malicious gossip is their forte.
Nasty terrible letter…
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West Leederville? Really?
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Hey it’s not everywhere you can get Private School quality parents for a state education price.
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But Mia, why did Marcellus throw Tonyrockyhorror out the window?
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Well we all know it was for a simple foot massage!!
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I drove past this park yesterday afternoon around 6. There was no notice, no dog turds and no
poisoned baits (as far as I could see). The only person there was a burly council ranger in a fluoro jacket sitting on the picnic table, who stared at me the whole time as I wandered around the place. There were a couple of yapping dogs locked in nearby garages.
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I see Inside Cover ran with this today.
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I can’t believe they found no baits! Author not only a psychopath but also a chicken.
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