Free Corkage, Conditions Apply

Let me go out of town for a moment. Adelaide. If having a restaurant called The Snooty Fox isn’t bad enough, conditions may apply to your free corkage! Fucking Outrage! If a man gives me his bond that his corkage is free, I don’t want to have to bring in a commercial lawyer to have the $3 charge waived? Good day Adelaide. Good day Old Adelaide Inn, Good day Snooty Fox. I SAID GOOD DAY! Jesus, Snooty Fox? Really? Sounds a bit like it would be full of arseholes. Arseholes suddenly enraged at having the corkage they fully and sincerely believed was free, snatched away due to some jiggery pokery with the fine print. Maybe people only went because of the free corkage…”Dear, what’s that restaurant that has a name like only a cunt would go there..? Umm, The Wanky Dog..? The Bleached Ringhole..? The New Age Pussy..? The Uppity Garden Bed..? You know, the one where we never have to pay for corkage..?” 
“Under what conditions is corkage charged madam? On the condition of shut the fuck up.” Well I guess that’s fair. By Meccano.

Snooty Fox Restaurant Adelaide
There are no – repeat few charges on corkage

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in *Worst of Australia, worst advertising and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Free Corkage, Conditions Apply

  1. pete says:

    I reckon it’s the name of the house band.


  2. Bento says:

    *Management reserves the right to stuff patrons’ mutiliated corpses into barrels.


    • I originally wrote the piece as more barrel-centric, but figured a commenter would make that connection. It’s wonderful that SA is mainly known for its barrels.


      • Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

        Don’t forget Lord Downer, the idiot son of the Adelaide aristocracy and Don Dunstan, the father of the pastel Stubbies.

        Actually, do forget them.


  3. rottobloggo says:

    What a corker!


  4. rottobloggo says:

    From the hotel website: “Offering delicious meals in a memorable atmosphere, you will surely be impressed.
    “The intimate Cocktail Lounge is the ideal place to meet, to relax and have a pre-meal beverage with friends. Offering LCD TV with Foxtel channels, you will enjoy the stylish surrounds of this bar.”
    Nothing about conditions on the wine list.


  5. RubyRuby says:

    Somewhere to go after a long hard day building an inlet.


  6. The Legend 101 says:



We can handle the worst

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