I only depart from my original photo policy for the exceptional. This house in Applecross for sale qualifies. By Adam G. Jesus if she’s not in the mood by the time you got her to the top of these stairs, it isn’t going to happen. Enough to make your eyes water. Original link.The rails would be the Italian influence at a guess.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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83 Responses to Ballustrade

  1. WAtching says:

    Wait until you see the fountain.


  2. Russell Wolfe's Lovechild says:

    Certainly worth a departure from policy.

    The house certainly has a touch of the Prix d’Amours about it, although I doubt Lang’s flaccid old member would have meet the Australian Standards for railing heights any time after the 70s.


  3. Bento says:


    The stairway goes all the way up to Soith Hedland, I see.


  4. Snuff says:

    The internet is over. Everyone go home.


  5. It’s not going to happen. Jesus, this qualifies as a completely tasteless crap mock Italian typical Applecross Worst. It’s shite.


  6. golden1 says:

    I think the whole house needs a woman’s touch.


  7. Pete says:

    There are some ripper worsts in Majestic Cl. The one on the very end was for sale a few years back. No less a castle than this fine, fine effort.
    Worthy of bumping the original policy.


  8. skink says:

    I believe the correct architectural term for this type of residence, according to Reyner Banham’s nomenclature, is ‘Wogatorium’

    I’ve heard of people having taste in their arse, but this is something else entirely.

    just missing one thing:


  9. Also that chair is pretty fucking foul.


  10. OK. I’ve just visited Majestic Close Applecross on Google Maps. I’m calling in an airstrike.


  11. It’s cocks all the way up on the ” Stairway to Heaven”,


  12. Bento says:

    The MacBook’s a little incongruous. He strikes me as more an Acer man.


  13. Tony says:



  14. Tony says:

    Give it a tick if the owner is Italian or Greek. Big c0ck artwork it traditional: Priapus. (Safe for work.)


  15. Dave says:

    Gallo e ballustrade


  16. rottobloggo says:

    Holy lingam, Batman!


  17. rottobloggo says:



  18. hectic says:

    Meat and two veg.


  19. Rolly says:

    I wonder if the original owners realised what a dick the ironworker was making of him/her/it.
    It’s the sort of thing that might well escape the focus of a wealth ensnared mentality.


  20. hotpressed says:

    Applecross used to be so great, now it’s under the extremely busy northern path flightpath for the flights going up to Karratha, Bali etc. Now it’s a noisy shit bowl.


  21. BrownBook says:

    Worst/Best Evers!


  22. shazza says:

    Great party house. Maddington swingers could only dream of such an inspiring venue.


  23. JaneZ says:

    Late twentieth century immigrant genitalia


  24. capwatch says:

    The Prime Minister is still looking for a temporary residence while they rejuvenate the Lodge …


  25. Bartenders Skills with a Manhatten says:

    While the balustrade detailing is horrific and also looks like a plastic imitation of itself up close, it’s the floorplan of the second photograph that really has me flabbergasted.

    What is the point of opening up a hallway that size to a stairwell you can’t access? Is this the “Vertigo ending” feature? Is the Italian referenced actually Dario Agento? Are the penises an homage to Hitch-cock?


  26. The Legend 101 says:

    wow, nice house!


  27. Pingback: Nil by Melville | The Worst of Perth

  28. MattB says:

    This is like one of those seeing eye pictures. it’s just some stairs. Bit of wrought iron. Ok not my taste but hardly a crime. what’s the point of this post? Maybe I’ll just keep looking at it and see if I get why it is funny.

    Keep looking

    Keep looking

    Holy crap there are cock’s everywhere. I can see nothing but cock. I’m now trying to see stairs and a ballustrade in a house that is not to my taste, but no, I can just see cocks.


  29. WAtching says:

    Hang on a minute. This isn’t Malcolm Days house isit?


  30. Pingback: The Best Worsts of 2011 | The Worst of Perth

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