First they came for the fart gas…

Yesterday I was bemoaning the state of journalism, but today my spirits have been lifted by this masterpiece of the gerbatorial art seen by Bento in The Subiaco Post. Although unbylined (Angela Pownall of The West take note), it has all the hallmarks of Outrage “The Communist” Cohen. For example-
1) Fart in headline, 2) Deadpanned exhortation not to take fart gas to show, 3) A carefully curated list of bizarre objects Dali himself couldn’t have put together. The addition of “melting clocks” or “cats being thrown into the air with bowls of water” would not appear out of place. 4) Lack of comment on said list. 5) The ominous Hemingway like last two lines. Haven’t had an unequivocal NOT WORST for quite a while.
Confirmation. Is by The Communist Outrage.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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43 Responses to First they came for the fart gas…

  1. Frank Calabrese says:

    Speed limit is 8km/h – God help all those oldies on Gophers and those using electric wheelchairs – they’ll probably be fined for Drunk-driving – and it’s no joke one bloke I knew over 25 yrs ago got pulled for D/D as he was returning back to the qauad Centre from the Shents – the charges were eventually thrown out.

    Like

  2. Snuff says:

    Marvellous, DFOC.

    8 kmh ? Does anyone else remember fanging around the Showgrounds when you could hire 50cc Honda minibikes there ? Even those couldn’t do less than 8 kmh, in first.

    Like

  3. Pete says:

    OOOH! an improvement notice if you let someone in in a rude shirt.
    ‘Deepak is a vigilant security officer who only studies most of the time at work. His misunderstanding of English terminology let him down. Deepak must improve his rudeness comprehension’

    Last concert I went to there was a ban on row boats & pineapples.

    Like

  4. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Bows and arrows? The Merry Men won’t be happy about that.

    Like

  5. Bento says:

    Bravo. I laughed, I cried, I burnt my “hardcore T-shirt”.

    One of the best pieces I’ve read in a long time. Breathtakingly Not Worst.

    Like

  6. skink says:

    bows and arrows are not allowed, but assault rifles do not appear on this list

    are we meant to take that as a given?

    use of the word iridescent was an immediate giveaway that this was the work of the hyperliterate Mr Cohen.

    Like

  7. Peter says:

    8 kmh? The Holden Precision Racing team is going to be underwhelming this year.

    Like

  8. skink says:

    breaking news is that the boss at 6PR has got the sack, possibly as a result of poor ratings, possibly as a result of the station being a crock

    who’s going to be first against the wall after the regime change?

    Like

  9. WAtching says:

    Off topic…

    Hey Lazy,

    Remember that picture of the smashed faced lion that used to be the banner for this fine site? Was that by any chance located at Ming Dynasty restaurant in Morley?

    Like

  10. greggo says:

    As yes, typical Post hopeless tosh doled out by conspiracy-theorist-deluded sour-grape, bitter and personally broke socialist semioticians and pseudo-feminist failed film makers. Wouldn’t THEY love to be banned from the ENTIRE FUCKING Royal Show? Wouldn’t THEY love to take their slut-look footballer wife-look girlfriend with her skirt bottom hardly reaching her huge breasts, the envy of all? Wouldn’t THEY love to stick a packet of smokes up their AC/DC t-shirt sleeve and say “What the fuck are you looking at you cunt?” Fuck yeah they would but they FUCKIN CAN’T.

    Like

  11. Boris says:

    taking away a child’s right to mix copious amounts of sugar with cheaply made dangerous toys? what will they have to look forward to on the holidays now?

    Like

  12. Frank Calabrese says:

    And why was Outrage outflanked by The West with an even BIGGER Story than the banning of Farts ?

    Like

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