This is from Hokusan, seen at Officeworks in Melbourne, but there’s still time to catch a flight over for the shredder buying course. Officeworks Carlisle might even hold a masterclass here if the numbers are solid. And while we’re in Melbourne, a baffling and bad picture in Yarraville from Meccano. 
Worst Talk
AHC McDonald on Nork Nozzled Anonymous on Nork Nozzled AHC McDonald on Nork Nozzled Anonymous on Nork Nozzled AHC McDonald on Save Our Blank Walls Anonymous on Save Our Blank Walls AHC McDonald on Save Our Blank Walls Anonymous on Save Our Blank Walls Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on A Short Stack of Crap paulie48406 on Pizza Showtime! AHC McDonald on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Online Now
The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
If Burkie, or any party political apparatchik with experience cleaning out the files of an MHR voted out of office is going to be their guest speaker, I’d go. Only if funds permitted, though; maybe I could prevail upon their connections to fly me over to Melbourne for this informative event.
LikeLike
As for the bottom illustration, is that an illustration as to how to correctly stop a train in the Western Suburbs of Melbourne? I know it can be a bit rough in parts out there…
LikeLike
There are many vexing issues to be considered when it comes to purchasing the correct shredder. After determining which type, manual (the Bob Brown model) versus electric (the Troy Buswell model), there’s the question of how many pages at a time can the shredder handle. Noise level. Space restrictions. Left handed or right handed. Colour for the fashion minded. Easily storage, or hidability, should the Feds come a knockin.
I congratulate Officeworks for taking on this highly complex and challenging topic.
And I 2nd Turnips. Burke for WA Masterclasses.
LikeLike
I think he would favour one of those Vermeer tree mulchers.
LikeLike
Perhaps, but a compact model that can be concealed in someone’s garage. And hope that they have a slow combustion stove to serve as a handy incinerator, after pressing the shredded paper trail into paper logs. Great to keep the house warm, as well as destroy any, ahem, alleged evidence! Win-win.
LikeLike
I think Western Women’s Robin Greenburg will be taking the class on incineration. Main points will be no 44 gallon drums and ensure all records are shredded outside Perth’s fire season. Another fine piece of affirmative action from Premier Carmen Lawrence.
LikeLike
Should get a photo of that WW building.
LikeLike
speaking of Russell Woolf,
I hear he is going to try and trump Alisha by dropping the C-bomb during tonight’s weather forecast, possibly whilst pointing at Rockingham on the map
LikeLike
It could get worse Shazz, as you mention , but at least you need Tax Office advice on what to shred and not to shred. Is shredding effective? How do those documents fit into the whole document trail ?I hope the lesson also goes over the pros and cons of shredding v burning i,e, have the Feds got enough staff to paste the document(s) back together and when to shred e.g. is just prior to tax time optimal ?
What to do in the worst case scenario: you shred your fake book of accounts.
Now backing up to an external device is a deep and complex question , similar to shredding, except that your hard drive may automagically decide on a random document(s) shredding.
LikeLike
I have the pleasure of working in an office containing half a dozen South Africans and one gentleman who insists on calling himself Rhodesian, so I appreciated your Bryce Courtenay tweet.
I thought that what Courtenay said about Peter Carey was funny, although not so much that it made me want to read one of his books.
there’s a man that needs a shredder
LikeLike
couldn’t agree more.
i assume you refer to the rhodesian as a zimbabwean?
LikeLike
Do you have any “Cape Coloureds” Skink?
LikeLike
is that a variety of apple?
LikeLike
I feel I could write “Knobbing Near Lions.” I could do a better job than Wilbur.
LikeLike
Someone has a burning tyre with their name on it.
LikeLike
nothing like a new necklace to cheer a person up.
LikeLike
Knobbing near lions, just by the perimeter walls.
LikeLike
I was backing up with an external hard drive as I opened up TWOP this morning. Now I am worried that I needed to do something more than just plugging it in.
LikeLike
Forget shredding, re that external hard drive, will it blend? My guess is yes.
http://www.blendtec.com/willitblend/
LikeLike
I saw them on the Gruen Transfer, putting an iPhone through the Blendtec.
Amazing. Pure marketing genius.
LikeLike
TLA: This is OT but here goes.
Do you happen to know the location of any “miracle Maos” in China? You know, just like the Jesus ones- a staue crying, the image of Mao in some burnt toast or a roast duck.
A friend wants to see some…
LikeLike
I would be emailing the amusing and informative types at Danwei. It’s the sort of thing they would do a story about if it was true. Haven’t heard of any crying Maos myself.
http://www.danwei.org/
LikeLike
Just a word of explanation of these two otherwise baffling examples.
Firstly, having been shanghaid by my boss into sourcing a $15,000 shredder, I can tell you they’re not as obvious as you think. For a start there’s straight vs cross-cut and there’s various capacity issues. But I can’t see how anyone buying one from Officeworks would give a toss about any of that.
Secondly, that fine piece of urban art is depicting a gentleman playing trugo. Kind of like croquet but played with a sledgehammer and massive rubber ring. I think there are about 5 miserable bastards, all octogenarians, who still play it.
LikeLike
Trugo? Well I never
LikeLike
Every day becomes a school day.
LikeLike
Trugo http://www.abc.net.au/tv/rewind/txt/s1164493.htm
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/03/2534388.htm?site=local
LikeLike
So where’s his head?
LikeLike
Up his massive rubber ring, obviously.
LikeLike
Ahhhh, Yarraville – in my beloved Melbourne with its beloved daylight saving. Indeed Bedlam, trugo is alive and well in the Greek heartland of Yarraville where I lived for eight years.
I remember when that piece of art went up. It was around the same time that a film crew had transformed the town centre overnight by transforming all the shop and street facades to make it look like some hunting town in mid-western USA… complete with billboards, street signage etc. Problem was, I walked into the village after a largish night out and thought I had done something to my brain.
Great place to live though and some great characters, like the ‘Rosary Man’ who wanders the streets playing with his rosary beads all day. Also has two supermarkets in the main street, right next to each other.
LikeLike
And those supermarkets would have reasonable opening hours? Is THAT your next Wanjina piece theme. Cmon, it’s the foreshore isn’t it?
LikeLike
footy stadium
LikeLike
Foreshore it is, just for you. However, the stadium is going to be right up there, along with extended trading hours. Did I mention roster petrol stations yet TLA?
LikeLike
I knew it. At least I had enough self respect to turn down a Wanjina invite. Why would I do unpaid rantings on someone else’s website?
LikeLike
So you won’t be expressing anything in the Wanjina then?
LikeLike
Not for free.
LikeLike
I actually suggested you as a contributer. I thought you could do physical comedy in words.
LikeLike
Thanks mate. But I can rant here for free. If they pay I’ll do something nice.
LikeLike
‘cos it’s that time of the month?
LikeLike
He may not be satisfied with the quality of Wanjina’s wanjazzle.
LikeLike
I thought you were having a lend about re-introducing the roster system.
You were, right.
I mean, I can see how it would be great for people with young families, and how it would make Perth a more righteous city under God (or G-d, if we extend the plan to Saturdays), but not even Perth is that backwards, is it?
What’s next? Chopping the Freeway of at Marmion (or getting rid of it completely)? Restricting TV operating hours from 10.30am-12pm? Closing down the Fremantle and Clarkson/Joondalup line? Rationing?
We could really take Perth back to the ’40s.
LikeLike
We’ve got Barnett Rubble doing just that right now.
Mind you, I’d be all in favour of TV stations closing after midnight: not only do I prefer to find out who wins the naughts and crosses game (I’ve got $20 riding on the clown), but yer might actually learn something moderately useful, like how to calibrate your telly to get the best picture. And besides, it’d fuck up the sex chat lines and infomercial industries in one fell swoop.
Surely five or six hours of test pattern and static are better than almost all the dross that populates the graveyard shift currently, hmm?
LikeLike
as someone who routinely tapes/splices the graveyard feed I would have to protest. The Sunday morning christians are particularly choice.
LikeLike
J-J, that’s a bit masochistic, isn’t it? I couldn’t even stomach that sort of fervent literalist preaching, much less at some, forgive the pun, ungodly hour.
LikeLike
You clearly haven’t seen Steve Green’s 80s material Turnips. Nothing like a bit of Benny either.
LikeLike
Not Benny Hinn, I spose? When “Yakety sax” is the honkin’ soundtrack to a sped-up chase involving various states of undress, then maybe I’ll watch it.
LikeLike
Here you go, BO’T.
LikeLike
Also, don’t forget Creflo A. Dollar, another televangelist. Is he still on our TV?
The closest to God I get in the media is Fr Bob Maguire, when he’s joshing with John Safran. If only all Catholics were modelled on Fr Bob…they’d be walkin’ like they talkin’, and have a bone-dry wit to boot!
LikeLike
No Grrr.
That was the eighties and we only just left them.
LikeLike
Kevin Rudd is a prime candidate for that course. His office shredder will be completely worn out after chewing its way through the Henry Tax Review and all documents relating to the RSPT.
LikeLike
I somehow get the feeling that entire paragraph should have been in CAPS.
LikeLike
And so it begins…
LikeLike
All your filing and storage problems solved
Also adaptable for HR issues
LikeLike
And for those really thick documents such as the ETS proposal
http://jalopnik.com/5555458/this-is-an-engine+block-shredder-in-action
LikeLike
You don’t need a shredder for Toned A-Bots thoughts : wipe and flush.
LikeLike
Too right when they say his views are a load of bumf: treat accordingly.
LikeLike
the intelligent man’s shredder ?
LikeLike
or shouted through a megaphone from the back of a flat bed truck whilst standing next to a fat heiress
LikeLike
I like the fact Gina hasn’t had any ‘work’ done, and feels free to enjoy her food without guilt. Imagine being that loaded and eating like an anoerexic. It would be a crime.
LikeLike
Social x-rays, as Tom Wolfe called them.
LikeLike
I misread that as “Gina hasn’t done any work”
I’ll have you know that she worked very hard for that inheritance. Mostly ensuring that Rose didn’t get it.
LikeLike
She’s no Twiggy, that’s for sure, and no amount of surgery can disguise the ugliness of greed. Anyone that loaded should be paying others to eat for them.
LikeLike
Yes Snuff, a weekly banquet for the less fortunate, such as Rose and Willie.
LikeLike
I’d imagine the “How to Buy a Shredder” class at OfficeWorks would be a brief one, consisting of:
A) approaching a young lady named Sharlene, who would be busy filing her nails, and saying, ‘I’d like to know how to buy a shredder:’ and
B) being told, ‘go see the knobhead with the orange tie.’
LikeLike
I would hope B would be more on these lines
B) You and whose army?
LikeLike
And you’d want to throw in a “thanks toots” as you looked for the knobhead.
LikeLike
‘toots?’
Maybe, but Sharlene hates being called ‘toots’ and she’d throw a withering look at your back as you headed off with some uncertainty down the paperclips aisle looking for ‘knobhead.’
LikeLike
After buying your shredder, be careful when using. http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=60527#post1219591
LikeLike
I thought for a moment that must have been the result of a horrible masturbation accident.
LikeLike
I wonder if that’s on the instruction manual inside the pack, under “things NOT to be inserted into the paper shredder”? I’m certain hands are not the only thing on that list…
LikeLike
Oh right, a paper shredder.
I thought…
LikeLike
I thought this.
LikeLike
Don’t you mean…
LikeLike
No, more this:
LikeLike
Really?
I’d have thought this.
LikeLike