May 11, 2010 12:01 am
Bag O Turnips, took the photo made with the commentary and even sourced a musical quote. Hooooeee that’s diligent worsting. So, over to you Bag O’…
Sexy everywhere
Sexy up the river, where it flows among green aits and meadows
Sexy down the river, where rolls defiled among the tears of shipping and the waterside pollutions of a great and clean city
Sex in the featureless, genderless, self-frosting glass toilet doors
Sexy in the humble ground-floor keycutter’s cubicle
Sexy in PowerPoint presentation and the workflow chart and the mission statementSexy in the opinion and truthSexy in everything, but sex. DC Root, from the promotional trailer to the ROOT! album, Surface Paradise.
When I was out on the weekend, I noticed this fishmonger’s van parked near the UWA boatshed carpark, selling “SEXY SALMON FILLETS”. And it got me thinking, “geez, even a weekend fishmonger flogging fillets of fish—anyone more salt of the earth and old school, one would presume—has resorted to sex to sell fuckin’ fish. Well, I s’pose if the smell of raw salmon reminds one of the pudenda, then so be it!
Thanks Bag O.
Sexy
Posted by AHC McDonald
Categories: worst advertising
Tags: sexy salmon, worst advertising
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I only eat sexy seafood. Never again will I buy non-sexy seafood.
mmm… check out the tits on that lobster. So attractive.
Coles & Woolies can go to hell. I now buy direct from this monger.
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By Hugh Jass on May 11, 2010 at 12:51 am
pardon the pun, but I just realised I could have some fun with my avatar.
I wonder if the sexy salmon comes with a serving of greens?
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By Hugh Jass on May 11, 2010 at 12:51 am
Kebab Buurger anyone?
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By WAtching on May 11, 2010 at 8:04 am
Not without my baby fish cakes!
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 11, 2010 at 8:58 am
Suck on a slender, sleek sea cucumber, anyone?
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 11, 2010 at 8:55 am
With 10cc of Hollandaise sauce!
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By Onanist on May 11, 2010 at 9:21 am
what, no jets of vinegar?
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 10:18 am
Just lumpy splatters of Miracle Whip will do.
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 11, 2010 at 12:38 pm
You run this and not the crab signage from the Guildford ‘monger?
For shame.
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By David Cohen on May 11, 2010 at 8:03 am
You should have put more work in. Where was your song quote?
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By The Lazy Aussie on May 11, 2010 at 8:27 am
This salmon is not only terrifically sexy, it also does not have crabs.
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 11, 2010 at 9:01 am
But has it been boned?
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 11, 2010 at 9:03 am
TLA can we do nothing to scale back these puns? Really piscing me off
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 9:19 am
I sea. You’re suggesting they serve no porpoise?
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 11, 2010 at 9:34 am
We just can’t hallibut!
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 11, 2010 at 9:46 am
Quite attention catching, but no need to carp on about it. No customers though, the monger must be waiting for the sign to work with baited breath. He octopus a bit more effort in.
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By I Clavdivs on May 11, 2010 at 9:49 am
Fed up to the gills with these scaly puns, will salmon put a stop to it!
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By Onanist on May 11, 2010 at 10:08 am
Just think, this huge collection of atrocious puns and the State Library has to just fillet away for future reference..
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 10:17 am
On Microfiche.
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By Snuff on May 11, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Really? For caching the … net?
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Perhaps he should wear some fishnets.
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 11, 2010 at 10:15 am
Oh, don’t tell me you’re already fin-ished! Or is it that you just can’t hake the plaice?
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 10:24 am
Are you trying to bait me? You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder.
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 11, 2010 at 10:46 am
Urgh that was a real lemon
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 10:56 am
I was just clown-fishing about.
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 11, 2010 at 11:35 am
well then, credit where it’s dhu.
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 12:01 pm
where’s my squid pro quo, perch-ance this sexy fish?
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 11, 2010 at 12:20 pm
And some killer éels.
Along with a leatherjacket ala The Firm
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By I Clavdivs on May 11, 2010 at 10:31 am
You are all so good at whiting puns.
I wish i could do it too.
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By Tiang on May 11, 2010 at 11:20 am
I’m herring you, mullet over there is a ray of hope, fish are a rich source of omega 3 puns.
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By I Clavdivs on May 11, 2010 at 11:30 am
I shall not pickle your oponions.
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 11, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Whale, batter sea if we can scale them back then
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By Hutch on May 11, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Duck yeah.
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 11, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Let me just stick my oar in, and advise you that you’re all a mob of punts.
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 11, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Stick it in again you mean – you’re hooked on this aren’t you
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Talk like that will result in a salt and battery with a swift nemo to the cobblers.
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By I Clavdivs on May 11, 2010 at 3:48 pm
DFOC, would you smoke a Sexy Salmon Fillet, or would you put it up the nose?
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By Cookster on May 11, 2010 at 10:28 am
You would definitely put it up your bum and wait for it to dissolve.
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By Ljuke on May 11, 2010 at 11:03 am
Eyedrops – straight to the optic nerve and – way hey!
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By David Cohen on May 11, 2010 at 2:33 pm
What on earth is this new background TLA?
Wembley-ware?
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By WAtching on May 11, 2010 at 8:13 am
i do believe my mother had the wembley ware fish dish which can just be seen to the right of screen.
themed background aussie? good work.
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By vegan on May 11, 2010 at 8:40 am
Ceramic fishy
Found in antiquarium
Wembley-Ware species
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 11, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Cooler on the blink
Wafting diesel masks warm fish
Sexy pudenda
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 9:29 am
Love it; absolutely love it; especially after some silly tweeter got boned for suggesting that an underage but precocious ‘celebrity’ might get laid after the Logies.
Sexy fish fillets feeds my social cynicism perfectly, with or without Hollandaise sauce.
Themed background is perfect. Well done that man.
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By rolly on May 11, 2010 at 9:58 am
Myteenageninjacockle, fresh from the UWA boatshed next door.
Truly deadly seafood.
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 11, 2010 at 12:24 pm
For the win!!!
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By orbea on May 11, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Sexy salmon, the whiff of the sea. I would have thought this was ripe for a bit of Wintoning.
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 11, 2010 at 2:39 pm
Connecting the words “sexy” and “Winton” results in a complete mental non plus ultra for me.
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By Natalia Fan #1 on May 11, 2010 at 3:18 pm
And you might come up with Newton Faulkner, ugliest musician goin around.
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By The Lazy Aussie on May 11, 2010 at 3:35 pm
oh good god. I had managed to forget
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 3:47 pm
‘Bugger!’ Jaidyn sagged in his chair. It was the drinking, he reckoned – hardly excessive, but still. It’d blunted his game; left him open. Prime opportunities cropping up like South Freo warehouses, and all he’d come out with was a shitty Darch duplex of puns. Unforgivable. He clenched his fist around his pen. The shame came biting back, its warm tang recumbent against the back of his mouth, the memories washing in like day-old dhuhy fillets in the drip-basket. His first time dumped in the surf, bloody lips pursed with squinting embarrassment in the penetrating sunlight. Little Becky Gibbons, pointing at his fat belly, leading the chorus of mockery. When would it ever end? He couldn’t say – his entire existence, an aqueous cycle, heartbreak spattered like ocean spume across the pages. Phwoar, that was deep, deeper than that mussel trough down near Fitzy’s shed. Those had been the days, he thought…
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 3:47 pm
I bow to the master once again. Made my day – cheers!
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By Natalia Fan #1 on May 11, 2010 at 3:51 pm
No worries
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 3:55 pm
Wintastic, winumental, winderous winstiche..
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By I Clavdivs on May 11, 2010 at 3:55 pm
There’s a lingerie shop in Lorne Victoria called Fishy Knickers… maybe these Salmon came via the Great Ocean Road.
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By Cookster on May 11, 2010 at 2:40 pm
That conjures up some very interesting images Cookster. You haven’t been doing Busewells, have you?
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 11, 2010 at 2:52 pm
In Freo’s fair city,
where the hippies are clique-ey,
I first set my eyes on boofish Adele Carles
She first took her seat in Parlee
We snogged in a pantry
Crying Buswell’s cock’n’balls
Alive alive O
Alive alive O I’m reaching a big O
Crying Buswell’s cock’n’balls
Alive alive O
She was a left lawyer
a pleader and borer
but preaching a tory line was something she’d learned
She hated the sheep trade
and lead on the rail trains
Crying Buswell’s cock’n ball’s alive alive O
She fucked me in Parlee
we fucked in Albanee
she fucked me so hard whenever we could
we mass debated in Parlee
we both knew twas screwey
Crying Francois and Marg’ret
Goodbye goodbye O
Crying Greenies and Tories
goodbye bye Freo.
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By orbea on May 11, 2010 at 3:11 pm
molto bene orbio
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 3:15 pm
That’s weird J-J – check out my almost simultaneous post.
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By Natalia Fan #1 on May 11, 2010 at 3:19 pm
“Miau,” it said. “I’s in ur dreams eatin ur fear, nom nom”
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 11, 2010 at 3:25 pm
That guy is clearly in cahoots with the fish guy in Guildford, he too has the Sexy Salmon sales pitch. When will they get the link between “prawn” and “pawn”?
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By bradc on May 14, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Fresh local pr0ns?
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By Jaidyn-Jaxxon on May 14, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Fish dinner with relief?
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By Natalia Fan #1 on May 14, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Haddock with happy endings?
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 14, 2010 at 3:49 pm
And maybe with some of these.
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By Natalia Fan #1 on May 14, 2010 at 4:01 pm
… these.
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By Natalia Fan #1 on May 14, 2010 at 4:02 pm
“Over here, it smells like fish…”
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By Bag O'Turnips on May 14, 2010 at 11:18 pm
and finally…
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By Natalia Fan #1 on May 14, 2010 at 4:05 pm
Fish fetish? Fishy knickers? What’s going on in Victoria?
I’m groping for answers.
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By Shreiking Wombat on May 15, 2010 at 11:05 am
I made a sexy salmon video!
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By Anonymous on September 9, 2013 at 12:53 pm
We buy from the sexy salmon fish guy in Guildford. Awesome fish. We don’t go anywhere else.
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By Brad Suiter on August 4, 2015 at 9:39 am