Is this a worst, or does it actually enhance the craphole that is Kardinya? Would I live in it? Yes, if it was in Embleton not Kardinya. Would I call it not worst? I’m not sure, depends on the spirit in which it was built. If it was built as a pisstake, then not worst. However building in Kardinya doesn’t seem compatible with having a sense of humour, so… From Matt via his friend Aaron. Someone else sent me some kind of crackpot castle house. Where is that picture?
Worst Talk
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The Worst of Perth 
His friend Aaron Spelling right?
It’s certainly not any worse than anything else I’ve seen in Kardy.
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A-a-a-h-h!
The ubiquitous cult of pretentiousness.
Very 21st. century Perth.
Plenty of cash, no taste, and even less creative imagination.
Welcome to beautiful Bogan Ville.
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I give it a ‘Not Worst’ vote on the basis that there are many, many, others of superior worstestness all around the suburbs, many of them ‘architect designed’ – which just has to be an euphemism for aesthetically and practicability ‘challenged’.
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And yet, the wheelie bins sort of give it a certain something. Without the bins and the power pole it would lack that essence.
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I think it also needs a ’77 Ford Fairlane Marquis or LTD (with the Rolls-Royce styled grille) in the drive: that sense of gaudy opulence that was something to aspire to in that era. Or even maybe a ’76 Holden HX Monaro coupé, finished in the mandatory burgundy with gold honeycomb wheels and maroon velour trim?
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surely a Hyundai Grandeur?
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I’d have no hesitation parking the Hyundai Grandeur XG in front of a Tuscanstrosity in Mindarie or Dawesville, but otherwise I’d try to keep it in era. The 70s had a veritable cornucopia of automotive worsts.
I’d also maybe consider a Cortina TE Ghia in metallic brown, a Holden Sunbird (4-pot Torana) SL/E hatch in orange, Mazda 121/RX-5 coupé (not the Jellybean, but the chintzy American-styled thing) or a Volvo 262C (with the low roofline and squared-off rear side glass).
Any other fine chariots of that era the grace the driveway of Kardinya Kastle? Suggestions…
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Oops: “…that era TO grace…”
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Looks like it would have some sort of dungeon garage, so I would say Jenson Scimitar.
Perhaps Morris Marina for the pure folly of it.
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Both highly worthy, although the Jensen’s what 7 litre donk? would give it the edge.
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Perhaps the first “sports wagon?”
So what would you park there TLA?
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a purple malvern star with a banana seat and three speed gearing.
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One of these, since I had one in burgundy. 5 litre v8. Lovely lovely car.
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Now you’re talkin’, vegan. With a massive sissy bar.
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that’s the bike i had in the 70s! brilliant work snuff.
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Nice bogan chariot TLA.
I had one of these in this exact colour.
265 Hemi, original mags, bench buckets…
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Looks like we’ve all got a bogan skeleton in our closet.
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At least they weren’t Barina wagons bundyman style.
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Nice Ride…
But don’t start that Bogan business with me buddy. I’ve always had a highly developed sense of irony.
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That’s for sure.
I wasn’t lying when I said “bench buckets.”
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How about this lemon, BO’T, which I’m sure Peter was referring to when he famously quipped, “This car has got hazard warning lights and it’s just as well. I suggest you drive with them on all the time.”
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I have always wanted to drive one, jut to spit common sense.
Some people are still gushing!
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I have always wanted to drive one, just to spite common sense.
Some people are still gushing!
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Fair enough, WAtching. I’ve only ever been a passenger in one, on one of my hitches across the Nullabor, and it really did have a 44 in the back seat, rigged up by the cocky as a long range tank.
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Of course. How can one forget the venerable P76? It was the subject of one my numerous haikus in the recent Torana post.
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Sometimes worthless link surfing turns up gems of useless trivia. Wikipedia on Peter Wherrett offers the following fascinating insights:
“After Wherrett and Mathers separated in 2006, Peter went to live as a woman, Pip, at Lake Macquarie. Pip lived as a woman for the last two years of her life, and she described this as “my last great achievement”.”
What a Man!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Wherrett
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I think the 70s Asian answer to the Noughties Hyundai Grandeur would’ve been perhaps either the Toyota Crown or Datsun 260C (aka domestically as the Cedric!). Both were a most interesting interpretation of the Yank Tank, Japanese style. And both would’ve not looked at all out of place on the driveway in the day. A lot of metal for the money, not to mention better reliability and fuel economy over the local luxobarges. And no loss whatsoever of ooshta: chintzy interiors with all the fruit and some retina-searing colour options too.
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You can still see plenty of Cedric and Crown taxis here, BO’T; always immaculate, and always with the doily headrest covers.
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I think the Kastle calls for a 1982 Rover SD1 Vanden Plas, preferably black with faux red leather interior and silver tinted windows.
The driver of said vehicle would drink Cinzano dry, smoke Moore cigar-ettes and waft by manfully in a mixed cloud of Brut33 and Old Spice.
His leisure interests would include surfcating, Beta porn, Totem Tennis and wife beating.
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I think you may have gotten closer than anyone I C.
Beta FTW!
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all the while dressed in figure hugging flat fronted high waisted white slacks, with a purple shirt, unbuttoned to just above the navel, and several gold chains.
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Riviera, for sure.
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Lee Cooper Jacket?
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I reckon he’s traded up to either a Jaguar XJS V12, a Lagonda V8 Saloon (a weirdburger wedge on wheels) or if he’s made some serious money on property market, perhaps a Rolls-Royce Carmargue 2 door coupé. Or perhaps sideways with a Triumph Stag.
All once considered symbols of British sophistication, but time has proved them all to be merely jumped-up crassness, no better than other cheaper English automotive stodge.
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Yes the je ne sais quoi The driveway bespeaks of a need for automotive prowess. As for clinkers no longer available well you now have to roll your own.
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What else can you use clinker bricks for ? Mind you invading armies may be easily able to scale the walls.
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Awesome – I love it. Certainly not a worst, unlike The Kardy itself.
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could use some shadecloth over those ramparts though
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Perhaps this is the city pad of Prince Leonard of Hutt River Principality?
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The Summer Palace?
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Have a look at the second image, where the light reflects off of the brickwork: CLINKER BRICKS! Aargh! That immediately dates it as being of the 1970s, especially 1974-1977.
Truth be told, in some ways I do appreciate the humble clinker; there is a certain warmth and earthiness that they impart. But only when it’s in the context of an interior feature wall in a sunken lounge room with cream shag-pile carpet, orange acrylic dome lights, green bottle-base feature glass in the windows and champagne brocade curtains, all capped of with a chocolate velour modular suite and a walnut-panelled corner bar. That I could abide.
But not when they are the exterior bricks: dark bricks act as heat magnets and with this Chateau de Kardinya, there’s no eaves at all. Typical 1970s poor energy efficiency goin’ down here. But at least they had an excuse of not being quite aware of those concepts on a broader scale in them days, unlike those relatively recent Tuscanstrosities (which look nothing at all like what abounds in Central Italy), built when there was a surfeit of information: it was almost as if these were constructed as an act of wilful idiocy. At least Chateau de Kardinya has some unique kitsch woven in, unlike the multitudinous faux-Tuscan McMansions built to a cost for CUBs and the nouveau riche.
By the way TLA, when you were asking about a crackpot castle house, were you thinking of the one at the summit of Wanneroo Road in Tuart Hill, near the footbridge? That is a house that looks positively scary that one. I can’t even date it, but it has always looked somewhat rickety and jerry-built. Or where you thinking of those crazy “character” houses around Stonehouse Crescent in Bentley?
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It doesn’t look old enough. Looks in too good a condition to be from 70’s.
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I’d say qunitessential 80’s.
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Have you seen some of the houses in Carine and the newer parts of Karrinyup, contemporaneous to KK? If you have had a single owner, who designed the house themselves and are immensely proud of it, they’ll still look top notch 30 or 40 years hence. And despite the dark colour, clinkers actually hold up quite well. A bit like the similarly toned cockroaches, I s’pose. And besides, I would think that clinker bricks haven’t been available new since the early 80s, when cream, brown and russet coach and rustic bricks were all the rage.
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Then again, they may have got a bulk discount on a clearance sale of clinkers around 1981, by then having become deeply unfashionable, and thought, “hmm, what am I to do with thousands of chocolate clinker bricks? I know what: build a castle mighty! What genius!”
But I’m inclined to suggest that this would’ve been most likely constructed circa 1975-77, going by the fact that this street has overhead powerlines; newer sections of Kardinya that have underground services date from late 70s and early 80s. And of course, that the likelihood of it being a classic 1970s edifice is high, as it was, after all, the decade where everybody pretty much let it all hang out and where tasteful restraint was put on hold until at least the early 80s.
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personally, i am very fond of the clinker brick. i am very pleased that i work in a building constructed from them.
thankfully it looks nothing like this pastiche of horrors.
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My childhood home had clinkers inside and out. I had endless fun throwing socks at the wall. Good times.
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might give that a whirl at friday drinks sometime.
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This house was built in late 1970’s – My grandparents built the one next to it in 1978 and was being built when they were building theres. Italian family bought it has 6 bedrooms and a family of 4 were living there! Would be worth a mint now :)
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Good guesstimation (I guessed around 1975-77) by yours truly…thanks for that inside info, Aimee!
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it’s a McCastle
totally suited to the Peth environment
no doubt when it’s forty degrees in February, with no shade ofver the windows, and black bricks, it will be like living in a camp oven.
it really needs storm clouds overhead, thunder and lightning, and Howling Wolves.
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It stays cool in the dungeon, though.
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the camp oven’s main benefit seems to be turning whatever was placed in it immediately into carbon
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nope, that’s terrible. I’ll stop by on the way home tonight and chuck a brick at it.
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C’mon Mez, some credit. There’s no Cocos.
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If you do, chuck a clinker: I challenge you to find one: they don’t have ’em in the Restoration Range at Midland Brick and barkface textured ones don’t count.
If you do find one and make a projectile of it, they’ll probably retain it for spares in maintenance.
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clinkers were all the rage in Thornlie. I’ll stop by and ask tree man if he has a spare
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Ask nicely and he may throw in a decapitated dead Cocos palm in for you. That ought to make the picture of Kardy Kastle komplete.
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No cocos, but that aggressive boganvillea looks like its gonna rip a few sleeves.
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What out for the archers up on the roof, and don’t get too close or else you’ll either fall into the moat or be scaled with boiling oil.
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And of course beware of farts, in your general direction.
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Function laid to seige
But, triumph of aesthetics?
No way- shit mountain
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Disappointing to note there’s no gatekeeper in the 2nd picture.
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Hey! here’s a neat trick – press play on MP’s first, wait until 0:20 then hit Lj’s – oh, how I laughed
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goodness me – how nifty is that?
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i laughed until i stopped
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Tish ! You spoke French !
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“Don’t torture yourself, Gomez, darling. That’s my job…”
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she was a beautiful woman
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quite stunning wasn’t she?
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a little wierd… but beautiful nonetheless
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like, a billion bonus points for stacking spotties under the Olde Streetelampe
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In a former life (around 10 years ago) as a delivery boy I had the dubious honour of having the drawbridge lowered to deliver some furniture. You will all be pleased to know that the house was decorated with swords and full suits of armour. Not sure if the current owners have continued the theme … I hope so.
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Many thanks for the insight Dave B. Please tell us more.
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ugh, just had a horrible thought – it’s not a Klopper is it?
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wash your mouth out!
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No way!
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This house is on Windella road next door to my grandparents house. I know the owners of this house! I have been inside this house and its HUGE inside alot, very gothic looking inside. Italians had it for about 15 years. Used to give me nightmares when I was a kid! But gotta love the red trademark driveway next door which is my grandparents house :)
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I think it would be awesome to live in this castle! Its quite unique and refreshing from the bland houses nowadays.
Does anyone know if the Italians still live there… I would love a tour!! Are there any other castles like this in Perth?
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