As we comedians say, “What’s the deal with Myers?” We’ve had this one, and now this. Is it deliberate (being Sydney Mardi Gras week)? or is it a wardrobe malfunction like this one? Whatever the answer, the future will be glad to see it. From Bob Loblaw who remembered the Worst of Perth creed, ie Get the arse shot first and the pennies will take care of themselves. 
Worst Talk
Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… AHC McDonald on The Montegiallo School of… Anonymous on The Montegiallo School of… Anonymous on The Knock Shop of Broken … Anonymous on The Knock Shop of Broken … 
The Definitive Ranki… on Kalamunda, Australia’s u… AHC McDonald on The Montegiallo School of… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Mr Fist Anonymous on The Montegiallo School of… Blood on Review: “The Montegiallo Schoo… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… Online Now
The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
simply fabulous, darling.
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Worst of Perth needs to feature on Worst of Perth: It’s ‘Myer’, not ‘Myers’.
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I would have written ‘Myer’s’.
But, then, I’m a bit of a pedant too.
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Who says “I’m going to Myer”? Noone.
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Probably a throwback to the old days…
Y’know. Boans, Aherns etc.
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David Jone’s.
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Targets… maybe not.
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Kmart’s n Big Dub’z
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I blame the Jews.
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Me too.
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It’s a fucking outrage.
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The lady in the green T has just found the perfect Mother’s Day gift.
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The bloke in the red T has had his attention caught as well – possibly a full size ‘David’ statue similarly dressed.
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classic Perth couple there, a real Mr and Mr’s xxxxxxx. Can we say this kind of thing here? Makes me want to go camera crazy at Centro Galleria, or possibly Westfield Carousel. I usually refer to this sort of coupling as a ‘xxxx/xxx xxxxxxx’.
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Ok Pforts I am intrigued, whats with the avatar?
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Oh good. I was hoping we’d get around to Julie Bishop.
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it’s Julie Bishop. I thought her expression carried such glowering ire that only a raging inferno would really suffice. All done in MSPaint by teh way.
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Julie Bishop is a monstrous flesh-eating crotch-maggot.
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Julie Bishop is a worthless hag.
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A worthless hag with the eyes of a Perkins Paste gobbler.
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Um, we were actually with the person that took the photo… though our expressions are stupid… continue mocking…
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so you are looking at the camera, not the flash?
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Sadly the pink people have nothing to flash. Though I can admire the silky smoothness =P
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I didn’t include the frontal shot. Was a bit of an anticlimax after the back door view, which is the mannequin’s best side.
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Heh.
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Sorry, what did you call me? And I was doing the same thing you are – making fun of the stupid pink things…
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oops
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no it’s fine – being harshly judged by anonymous people who look at the same internet sites as me… Who needs self-esteem, anyway?
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One of the adjectives he used was “fat”
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nothing like assisting someones slide into the shit, onnie :)
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That’s disappointing – I was hoping for something clever or funny. Anyone can be fat =P
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Brilliant.
The pink makes them look like pommie tourists.
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Only after they’ve been here for a few days, shazza: When they arrive, they are usually a sort of pastel blue/pink. In blotches.
Very ghastly/ghostly like.
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You’re out of touch. That’s how all the kids are wearing them, these days.
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it’s the metrosexual baboon look
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Can you imgine the laughter of the children of Gen Y when they look at old photos?
“Dad. Yer hats on crooked and yer undies are hangin out.”
“Mum. What’s with the Harry Highpants?”
Explain that Gen Y.
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“Stupidity knows no bounds”…then explain to them that the crap that they are wearing indicates that it has no time limit either.
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Do the exposed buttocks belong to a bird or a bloke?
It is so hard to tell these days.
The only time I was in Club Bay View all the blokes looked like young girls.
All the birds looked like supermodels.
Am I showing my age, or my slip?
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I know what you mean, I have to resist the urge to either shout at them “pull your pants up and get a proper haircut” or simply mess their hair up and run away.
When I were a lad (and had hair), I used to ensure that I went out with not a hair out of place. Young men today ensure that every single hair is in a different place.
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Oh, young chicks have always looked hot.
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The last time I heard someone say all the blokes look like young girls was on a small group holiday in SE Asia – just before a nice man from the Australian Federal Police said he would be driving the minibus from now on.
Needless to say the holiday didn’t go quite so well from then on. Now where did I put my new passport?
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Can you please stop stealing my byline, cunt?
How many times do I have to ask?
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No problem. Have a nice day.
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Oh look! What a scamp!
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/6884846/model-is-first-woman-banned-from-pubs/
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Gold. She’s butt ugly anyway. One less skank in the pubs. Not that I go to any of them anyway…
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Nothing like a good scrag-fight Hugh. I wonder what the arguement was about.
On second thoughts: Northbridge. Saturday Night. Who needs a reason?
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“skank”, “scrag-fight”. You two sound like Thornlie Senior High School students.
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I didn’t realise I reached those lofty heights of sophistication, shazz.
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From the ABC 720 Twitter:
abcperth 720perth
Northbridge club owner Peter Palmer describes the “ladette culture” at Perth nightspots (FB link). #720mornings http://bit.ly/bhNdfF 2 minutes ago via Facebook
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Oh acurssed spam filter. You are truly the devil’s spawn.
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I’m determined to get this going:
“A Perth model convicted of glassing a woman in a Northbridge bar has become the first woman to be banned from entering a pub or club in WA.
“A police spokesman said that Eva Grace Scolaro, 24, who is listed on a talent website as a model, actress and singer, had been convicted of unlawful wounding over the attack on a 26-year-old woman at a Lake Street venue in March last year.
“Police said that during an argument, Scolaro grabbed the woman by the back of her dress and poured a drink on to her head. Scolaro then spun the woman around and smashed a glass into her face, leaving the victim with a deep cut to her left cheek and cuts to her forehead that needed stitches.
“Scolaro, who will be sentenced in Perth Magistrate’s Court on April 14, is the latest person to be handed a prohibition order which restricts her from entering any bar or nightclub in the State for two years.”
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/6884846/model-is-first-woman-banned-from-pubs/
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going where?
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down whitechapel way?
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well not to the pub anyway.
and i like our avatars lining up, now we need the shazza eunuch to reply for a trifecta.
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http://orgl.wa.gov.au/Default.aspx?NodeId=157
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http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=eva+scolaro&init=quick#!/eva.scolaro?ref=search&sid=1068223562.3009302583..1
interesting she is involved with Face of Perth, is that before or after glassing?
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And one the pages she’s a member of is ths
http://www.facebook.com/pages/TSVET-Productions/178057756591?ref=sgm#!/pages/TSVET-Productions/178057756591?v=info&ref=sgm
Bugger, mistimed it.
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me too, they’re v. complementary
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Yin/yang I think Pforts.
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trifecta
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that’s quite beautiful
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I feel guilty for puttting Germain into such unbecoming company.
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I could try and raise the tone
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Funny. I spose they are a bunch of old birds.
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it’s a bloody festival of hornbags.
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you might need this handy kit then girls:
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she is quite pretty though don’t you think? a lil’ bit of Pen-ay Cruz, a lil bit of Salma Hayek
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she was very fucken surly as she sashayed into Subiaco station this arvo
I offered her a ‘go’ on my goon fruity lexia and everything
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you’re a giver Orbs, that’s for certain.
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regarding the Russian ‘Party like the Gods’
a friend attended the party and can confirm that it was an Orgy of Worsts, and was shunned by the ‘A-list’. this may be the first time Basil turned down a party invite
not only that, but all local media steadfastly refused to cover the event (with the exception of that photo Gallery on WAToady) Di Bauwens didn’t cover it, and neither did the Sunday Times or any of the news channels.
It seems that the whole city of Perth has given the Russians the cold shoulder
it makes me want to hug them.
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Why skink?
How can Perth embrace Malcolm Day and Bree Maddox and spurn the Russians?
What the fuck is wrong with the A-listers in this town?
That’s it. My quest is to start looking for A listers to TWoPify. Speaking of which just pick up the kids from school, and spotted Jeff Farmer there doing the dad thing.
(Left my phone and camera at home.)
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“What the fuck is wrong with the A-listers in this town?”
I’m not sure shazz. But I’m guessing that bukkakharea may be in some way involved.
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Try as I may SW, I cannot decipher the code.
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Hey Shazza.
If you wanna worst some perthonalities, come down to Subi. FWC and Nasal Zempilas can be seen regularly “mounting the kerb.”
Alternatively you could go to “The Ranges” tavern in Midland where Chong and Buckels drink.
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I was actually at the Rangeview Tavern a few days ago… no, true story.
I am thinking the “clientele” are the type to say something like…. “WHATS THAT FUGGIN THING?
IS THAT A FUGGIN CAMERA, ARE YOU SOME SORTA FUGGIN POOFTA CUNT?
Like that but with less grammar.
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Pictures or it didn’t happen.
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Are you talkinging Rangeview Morley there Rich? “The Ranges” is a different place entirely, same clientele but more… kind of… Midlandy. Used to have a great Indian restaurant on the corner.
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Self-preservation still kicks in, even for the super-keen worster.
PS: WTF were you doing at “The Ranges?”
Kung Fu Rugby Extortion?
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everytime someone takes the piss out of richierich it reminds me of that “i only fucka the goat a one time” joke.
harsh, you guys are so fucking harsh i tell you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTiSzFp4arg
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apologies for correcting your grammar but I believe it should be:
you guys are so fucking harsh i tell’s ya
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i stand corrected Mez – hope you have recovered from yesterdays gruesome piccies.
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I’m relying on Coopers Sparkling to pull me through
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Harsh?
Have you seen “The Ranges?”
I have every right to demand a damn good reason why he would be there.
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probably not the crowd i run with so much anymore Watching – i have complete and total faith in your assessment. i was actually taking the piss about the recurring kung fu references.
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to get get munted like all the rest of the “clientele”.
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Over the last week or so my to-do list has been growing longer by the day. Pay those niggling bills, switch to e-statements for my banking, look into a short getaway for the Easter break, treat my ears to some new music, upgrade my mobile phone – the list goes on!
But with organisations making more of their services available online, I’m just thankful the majority of my list can be ticked off – without having to take on the weekend shopping crowds or run hither and thither – via the Internet.
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Fact is the Rangeview has been recently purchased by a member of a Perth based motorcycle forum of which I happen to be an occasional contributor.
Thoughts of a 1870’s style of pub next to the river with sweeping verandahs and a welcoming atmosphere didn’t last long as I surveyed the expanse of undulating bitumen interspersed with tradies utes and dead trees.
A quick look inside was everything I ever needed to know about the Rangeview.
Sure I could have stopped for just one beer but honestly didn’t see the point in drinking with people who had trowels for weapons
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Oh yeh, youse cuntz can all get fucked, not you monkeypants
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thanks rich -a rare but pleasant experience to be excluded from such a fabulous comment
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Get fucked.
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Get a gravatar you bum.
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Come outside and say that.
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I have ordered this penguin to stare at you:
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Yeh good point WAtching. C’mon SW get yourself a gravatar. We want to see what a shreiking wombat looks like.
( love the staring penguin)
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Call it off, call it off.
I’m allergic to Penguins…
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Hey Rich.
I think we are talking about different places.
If you knew “The Ranges” you would get the joke.
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You guys know that the Range view has been featured before right?
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Bento gives the link directly below LA.
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Two different places.
“The Ranges” makes the “Rangeview” look like an inner city wine bar.
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It couldn’t possibly be worse than the Rangeview. That pub was immediately installed in the memory bank as the worst pub I have ever been to.
This, I have to see
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rich, you really gotta go see the ranges, you haven’t lived until you have.
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This Rangeview Rich?
I trust your friend will shortly begin chipping some of the plaster from the walls, adding Turkish bread to the pie-centric menu, and advertising on 96FM, like all former old dero pubs.
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The persistent dissolution of the cosmic order precipitates the onset of eternal recapitulation. An awareness of this imminent cycle of destruction and rebirth affords one the ability to reach into the penumbra of the impending chaos without fear.
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oh, well I agree with that guy
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Pardon my error but I stand quintessentially flawless in my assessment of the Rangeview Tavern in wherever the fuck it was.
My review of “The Ranges” will appear in tomorrow’s edition of TWOP.
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leave no stone unturnrededed
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The Rangeview I knew was at the foot of the Greenmount Hill, opposite the much newer service stations. Don’t know if it’s still there even though I’ve driven past the spot a few times lately. I think a band I used to “sing” in did a gig there once. Terrible place.
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I’d like some nice close up shots of the place. No cheaty telephoto lensy thingys.
Now thats worsting…
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Take the 28 mm f2, go on I dare you
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So there you have it folks. Watch out for Richarbls photos of “The Ranges” in your weekend worstoff.
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Bah. I knew you were chicken.
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I think it is fair to say that I’m “Hung Phat.”
Dont question my chongs.
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Hung Phat is much less useful than Hung Hard and Chongs are for girls.
But don’t worry I will have your photos on the table by noon, if I can bothered to get out of bed by then.
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Alright this night you gonna die
A thrashing rage
In front the stage
Drunk maniacs curse
We are getting worse
Puke the god old beer
Teach the kids to fear
What the Devil say
You will fucking obey
Mosh your head
And posers dead
Total violent night
Metals fuckin might
Drink till death
Smash your head
We want you all
So fucking dead
Cut your studded arms
Denim booze and scars
Beat the fucking bitch
That evil horny witch
Drink more than you can handle
Snort shit like never before
There is no time to waste
When death is at the door
Mosh your head
And posers dead
Total violent night
Metals fuckin might
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And the band was called?
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Dr Bogus and the Wizards of Wonder, of course.
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Or was it the talented multi-racial cover-band, last seen at the unreconstituted Hilton Tavern, known as Vanilla Liquorice?
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And if anyone knows how to easily get the tops off some bottles of vile Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 Whiskey & Cola premix some fucker left at my house recently, I’d be much obliged.
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Twist-tops my ass
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Try a torque wrench…
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How about a bottle opener?
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axe
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woah fitted new reeds and baffles and the two stroker goes a fucken treat hey?
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It’s not for the feint-hearted, shazz.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bukkakarhea
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I am very proud to have safely delivered another rank stillbirth of a meme to all of youse.
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And you have our most grateful thanks, Jules.
Mingey slut.
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Yes SW you’re right. I’m not feeling any the richer or wiser for knowing.
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There’s a search hit for “Topless Shazzas” today.
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File 1 Not Exists
Fucking Gravatar.
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They must be so disappointed when they end up here reading shazza drivel. And no rack.
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Jesus how I’d like
To insert my manhood ‘tween
Such shining ass-cheeks
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Pingback: This is not a bitten arse… « The Worst of Perth
Leader of the pack.
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now you’re talking my language gregory
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Carmen sends her blessings, vegan. Or maybe she’s trying to order four beers.
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i think she’s blessing us three, and mags
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Meant as a reply to vegan at 9:18. Crap.
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