Woogle

We haven’t had The West featured for a while. Paul Murray, while generally bad hasn’t really plumbed his old depths of risibility. Pam Casselllas still seems to be scribbling away despite my contact telling me she’s leaving. Inside Cover plods along as ever. I’ve had half a mind to comment that the paper seems, well terminally dull, but didn’t really seem worth it, not when all the real action was going on here at TWOP, so who cared? The Armstrong dismissal  removed a lot of the stupidity but has left the old rag fairly limp, a little like McMurphy after his lobotomy in Cuckoo’s Nest. I did however like this screen grab from a worker of The West’s internal search and info page Woogle. Click the pic for larger version.

And a nice typo from Crikey the other day. The Murdoch Empire now wees itself… I’m sure it’s pooing itself at the moment too.

wooglewees

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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52 Responses to Woogle

  1. skink says:

    oh no, the West HR use the word ‘behaviours’

    it is horrible american managementspeak, and not a proper word. I hate it more that ‘burglarised’ and ‘obligated’

    make it stop

    Like

  2. shazza says:

    The wee typo is priceless. Is it possible that it’s deliberate? DFOC what’s your take on this?

    Like

  3. David Cohen says:

    I’ll have to Woogle it, shazza, and get back to you.

    Like

  4. The Woogle interface just seems very sad. Staff members shuffling off to discounted Black Swan performances, hoping against hope that they’re “Style” winners, whatever that is, remembering to be customer oriented and have a “bias for action”. Sad.

    Skink, will you be giving a Crikey tip to Crikey for this one?

    Like

  5. skink says:

    probably not.
    you are right that it is sad rather than funny.

    I don’t think it says anything about the journalism, it’s just one of those hideously chirpy corporate things done by the HR department.

    as soon as I see happy clappy bollocks like ‘make The West the Best’, ‘valued behaviours’ and ‘willingness to explore and effect change’ then I feel a great dark sinking feeling in my chest. It’s one step away from wearing matching uniforms and singing the corporate anthem each morning.

    before you know it you are subjected to a performance management system that judges you one how enthusiastic you are about the company’s mission statement rather than whether you are actually competent at your job.

    been there, done that, got the sack

    I wonder whether it has always been thus, or this is new corporate jingoism introduced by Stokes / Channel 7 ?

    Like

    • Chainge Daile says:

      Ahh Woogle… someone really stretched their creative muscles coining that term….Being a regional WAN employee, i personally enjoy the bespammed emails telling me there is free donuts in the Inkspot Cafe. Hold one for me, i’ll be there in 2 hours.

      Like

    • “Dear Paul, I see from our Woogle data log that you have not attended any of the discounted theatre options available to to recently. The producers have personally expressed their outrage to me over the empty VIP seats at The Bum Thief last week and I’m sure you will appreciate that I didn’t spend millions on this rag to get seats on the board just so I can be abused by members of the Spare Parts Puppet theatre. I notice you have also not yet added your Kris Kringle to the spreadsheet which was provided to you via Woogle WEEKS ago. Can I remind you that this is YOUR Woogle. You only get out what you put in.” Kerry

      Like

  6. Big Ramifications says:

    Borderline racist.

    Isn’t the Woogle a Dreamtime serpent that lives near [insert Swan River development of your choice here]?

    Like

  7. monyet says:

    haha I thought the post today would be about the Perth A-Lister article on PerthNow, where you can vote for Perth’s A-List.
    I think in revolt everyone is voting for someone on the list noted as:

    Angus Willoughby, student and friend of star Emma Watson

    http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,26214408-5012990,00.html

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Apart from the news and weather people, there are finally some people of interest being touted as A listers. Still no Lazy Aussie though. Or La Chong. Also surprised that the Longleys and Gares don’t rate a mention.

      Like

      • skink says:

        as I have said before, it isn’t actually a list of Perth’s most accomplished people, but a list of people who can be guaranteed to show up to any old PR party regardless.

        No doubt Anna Gare has more important things to do, such as fuelling my fantasies.

        I also note that Basil Zemplarse has disappeared from the list now that he is married and has had his wings clipped. No doubt he now sits at his mother’s kitchen table on a Saturday night getting fat.

        Like

        • shazza says:

          Ben Elton wouldn’t fit that definition skink. Being brother in law to Anna an all.

          Like

          • skink says:

            that’s why I was surprised he was on that list. He and Hank Marvin (comedian) both live like hermits when they are here, and seldom accept invites, certainly not from the likes of Strangl

            Like

            • I should have been rallying votes for Lazy Aussie blogger and racconteur to get on A list, rather than helping Nucular Mat over the line in TOV.

              Like

            • shazza says:

              Yes Hank was a shock.
              Then there was Rik Arden, in a wetsuit no less. Yuk.

              Like

              • WAtching says:

                Count yourself lucky. They were going to use the toupe/fig leaf shot…

                Like

              • WAtching says:

                BTW: He will forever be known to me by another name. He visited my school back in the day. As he mounted the stage to rapturous applause some wit in the audience geeted him…
                “Prick Hardon”
                and for the hundreth time
                it wasn’t me sir

                Like

            • shazza says:

              On a similar vein, can I take this opportunity to say what a crock of shite the Gold Plate awards are.

              Like

              • You’re agreeing with the “Old Silverback”? Broaders was making that point today. Woogle it.

                Like

                • shazza says:

                  Well I spose he’s dined at enough eateries (that ones for you skink) to compare and contrast.

                  Like

                  • skink says:

                    I generally use the Gold Plate as a useful guide as to where not to eat. It’s like a big shiny ‘no entry’ sign

                    the only thing that is as predictable as the Gold Plates, is that the West will run a story the following day about how crap they are, usually with some quotes from a bignote chef.

                    Gold Plates are for for the sort of suburban places for which ‘eatery’ is the only appropriate word

                    Like

                • shazza says:

                  I woogled the article TLA. It seems to me to be a particularly diplomatic attack. Lacking in the brutal honesty one can get away with on TWOP.

                  Like

    • CB One says:

      good lord. Student and friend of star Emma Watson. Man, I wish I had some coat-tails to ride. I could be a Perthonality! Or are they different to Perth-A-Listers.

      Stormie Mills! Everyone’s favourite graff vandal come decent law abiding “street artist”. I know who I’m voting for.

      Like

      • skink says:

        Mills is only on the list because his girlfriend has a PR company, and they are both accomplished self publicists

        TLA could get himself on the A-list if he started shagging someone in PR. Unfortunately it might have to be Cookster.

        Like

        • CB One says:

          PR girlfriend. That’s almost as good as being friends with someone famous. Especially if they’re good at PR.

          I actually didn’t think Stormie was that well known. Not knowing other potential A-listers is probably a sure fire way of guaranteeing I won’t make the cut, despite the fact that I’ve met a Daddo and Peter Andre and lived next door to a bloke who was mates with Phil Matera.

          Like

  8. oldfart says:

    Can’t bear even having the rag in my sight (but, alas, work calls). Can’t decide whether it should be called “The Worst Australian” (UWA/Prosh title from eons ago) or anagrammatically “The Altarwise Aunts”. Perhaps a complete re-name to reflect the reality that it is essentially a collection of advertisements with scattered editorial. Any suggestions?

    Lousy coverage of, for example, recent council elections. TWOP did much better on just one Council (and, btw, cracked a mention in today’s ‘Inside Cover’).

    With all the technology they’ve installed at Herdsman – makes me wonder whether the whole thing is generated by web-crawling spiders and a couple of Kerry Stokes’ secretaries. Even Paul Murray might be just an avatar.

    Like

  9. flynn says:

    seeing things like Woogle makes me quite happy that I am no longer in a corporate world. HR Dept; every company has to have one so that all the real workers can bond together by hanging shit on the same thing.

    Like

  10. orbea says:

    where did the cuntdown to christmas post go?

    Like

  11. Pingback: Man to Man Menswear « The Worst of Perth

  12. c bass says:

    lets all prank call the west aust IT desk! woot woot!

    Like

  13. Nonchalant says:

    Chainge Dailie (hmm, wonder where YOU work?) is full of shite. Sadly, there are never donuts at the Inkspot, free or otherwise. As for Woogle, there was a staff competition to name it and the winner got a TV. BUT two people thought of it, so there was a fight about who got the telly. Not sure who won.

    Like

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